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Title: Having an unusually.... Post by Donna_D. on Oct 21st, 2005, 12:24pm ...bad head day. [smiley=frown.gif] ....got anything funny to take my mind off of it? No Vibes....Just laughs! Thanks! DD |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by Melissa on Oct 21st, 2005, 12:27pm I'm tryin DD, I am! I just posted in the "Cool Math Trick" thread. Also, you could try finding the "Miss Holloman, Miss Twitch" thread and read through the pages, or look at the past convention pics, or fly up here and we'll go shopping. ;;D :-*mel |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by kimmiedawn81 on Oct 21st, 2005, 12:29pm Hey DD, check your Yahoo email. |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by Lizzie2 on Oct 21st, 2005, 12:31pm I have a great one, but I don't know how to convert a bitmap to a jpg to post it!!! I know you'd laugh too.... :( So big hugs from me for now!!!!!!!!!!!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by BMoneeTheMoneeMan on Oct 21st, 2005, 12:32pm I like looking at Mel's profile. That little dude sticking his tongue out is pretty damn funny. As a matter of fact, i stole it from her and I use it. Shhh......dont tell her. BMonee |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by Gator on Oct 21st, 2005, 12:35pm Haircut for boring meetings http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d623b3127cce936153cbb10100000016108IaOHDlu2bI |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by kimmiedawn81 on Oct 21st, 2005, 12:36pm on 10/21/05 at 12:35:12, Gator wrote:
Very creative! |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by Gator on Oct 21st, 2005, 12:36pm How to deal with a pain in the ass: http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d900b3127cce92a153b7dfc700000016108IaOHDlu2bI |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by Melissa on Oct 21st, 2005, 12:38pm on 10/21/05 at 12:32:46, BMoneeTheMoneeMan wrote:
If I didn't read further, I would have been very nervous. |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by LeLimey on Oct 21st, 2005, 1:10pm If this don't make you giggle nothing will! http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a139/lelimey/image001.gif |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by pattik on Oct 21st, 2005, 1:18pm on 10/21/05 at 13:10:00, LeLimey wrote:
[smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] You Brits, and your wagging weenie pics....I'm trying to find the one of Mr. Bean [smiley=laugh.gif] In the meanwhile... http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y71/northcolor/cartoons/mummy.jpg It was an innocent mistake, but nonetheless, a moment later Maurice found himself receiving the full brunt of the mummy's wrath! |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by rextangle on Oct 21st, 2005, 2:00pm Well, Helen's weenie roast is a tough act to follow... I'm stumped... |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by E-Double on Oct 21st, 2005, 2:11pm I'm jumping off the PC boat for you and your friend the "water head boy" http://ed3.photosite.com/~photos/tn/71_348.ts1068855545500.jpg also please read................... http://members.cox.net/daguilar1/funny.shtml |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by ghost62 on Oct 21st, 2005, 2:28pm http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/Zoeken.swf look for the 3 differences in the pics |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by rextangle on Oct 21st, 2005, 2:52pm http://members.shaw.ca/jmoelaert/cocaine%20crosswalk.jpg |
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Title: jokes...not for little eyes. Post by minnie on Oct 21st, 2005, 2:58pm A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked "Yes, Sir. May we help you?" "There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you." he said. "We do not use language like that here," she said. "Please go outside and come back in and say that there's something wrong with your ear or whatever." The man walked out, waited several minutes and re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" "There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't piss out of it." the man replied ------------------------------------------------------------------- "Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his anxious patient. "You only have six months to live." The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his physician that he had no medical insurance. "I can't possibly pay you in that time." "Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be $3500 for small, $6500 for medium, and $14,000 for large. The man was sure he wanted a large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking quite dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!" The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!" -------------------------------------------------------------------- A bigshot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She walked into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!" She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?" After a pause, the doctor replies, "Yes, but never with a daffodil!" |
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Title: more jokes . Post by minnie on Oct 21st, 2005, 3:07pm How to know whether or not you are ready to have kids: Mess Test Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (you may substitute roofing tacks if you wish). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold and take off shoes. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night. Grocery Store Test Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage. Dressing Test Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside. Feeding Test Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor. Night Test Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00pm, begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00am. Set alarm for 5:00am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful. Ingenuity Test Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Automobile Test Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the CD player. Take a family-size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a rake along both side of the car. There, perfect! Physical Test (Women) Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Then remove the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be wearing them for a while. Physical Test (Men) Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time. Final Assignment Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, and toilet training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain that to your mother." ------------------------------------------------------------------- Propaganda From The Lone Star State A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds. "Wow! Twenty pounds!" exclaimed many at the bar as they congratulated the proud father. Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth? How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "10 pounds." The bartender said, "Why, what happened? Didn't he weigh twenty pounds?" The proud Texas father said, "Yup...just had him circumcised!" |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by BobG on Oct 21st, 2005, 4:44pm If chicks with big boobs work at Hooters, where to one legged chicks work? IHOP! who's the girl with no arms and no legs? ILENE who's the chinese girl with no arms and no legs? IRENE who's the guy with no arms and no legs in da pool? BOB who’s the man with no arms or legs in a hole? Phil who’s the man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? Rustle Why did the man with lepracy fail his driver's test? Kept leaving his foot on the brake. |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by Opus on Oct 21st, 2005, 5:04pm on 10/21/05 at 12:31:11, Lizzie2 wrote:
Get Irfanview (http://www.irfanview.com/), then open the picture in it and file/save as , and change the bitmap extension to Jpeg. then save and post. Opus/Paul |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by ClusterChuck on Oct 21st, 2005, 8:23pm Damn! What a nasty, fiesty BITCH!!! Don't cross her!!! Shit, here I am, feeling bad for her, and I jump on the next flight out, to cheer her up, and THIS is what happens: further down ... Further down .... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce00b3127cce94952ab81f9200000015108Abs3LlszYuc So far she has three of us tied up ... I wonder how many more she is going to get? Chuck, held hostage ... |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by Charlie on Oct 21st, 2005, 10:32pm http://subscribe.smileygenerator.us/new/albums//fried_smiley.gif http://subscribe.smileygenerator.us/new/albums//spruce_up.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://subscribe.smileygenerator.us/new/albums//crazy_pilot.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://subscribe.smileygenerator.us/all/albums/characters//tecnotrouble_sm.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://smiles.ru/coll/jorry/sad.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://smiles.ru/coll/smile/tv.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://fool.exler.ru/sm/hook1.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/mage.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/spezial/TRIXYINAZ/spermandegg_t.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://www.smiley-sanctuary.com/smiley/blablabla/1/bla15.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://smiles.ru/coll/tdo/genesis.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://fool.exler.ru/sm/revenant.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://fool.exler.ru/sm/budo.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/gaspump.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://smaylik.by.ru/i/319.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://smaylik.by.ru/i/260.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://www.emotipad.com/artists/phaethorn/emoticons/skinners.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/fly zap.gif Here ya go. They make me laugh anyway Charlie |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by Carl_D on Oct 22nd, 2005, 12:59am This was a warning on Black Market Viagra: The FDA has put out warnings concerning a new generic form of Viagra coming from Mexico. The main chemical element has been ground with mexican jumping beans and the results can be horrifying: Don't view if easily disturbed. You've been warned... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v323/pgp1900/ShowLetter.gif [smiley=yikes.gif] Hope your feeling better Double D. More funnies coming tomorrow (today already? Shiiite). Peace, Carl D |
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Title: Re: Having an unusually.... Post by Donna_D. on Oct 22nd, 2005, 8:24am I just KNEW I could count on you guys to make me smile!! I'm doing better today...although I did have strange nightmares last night...wagging wee wee's and some little water headed boy running around in my dreams! LOL!! Oh and Chuck...you best be on your best behaivor! Who do you think bought that smiley face ball gag that Charlie was selling on Ebay! Thanks family! I really needed the laughs!! DD |
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