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Title: Dealing with the BEAST Post by ClusterChuck on Oct 20th, 2005, 11:48am I had a LONG phone conversation with Cat, yesterday. (WOW, is she a long winded wench!! ;)) haha!! (Course, I never said a word. SHE did all the talking. I feel sorry for Clark!) Anyhow, ONE of the topics we talked, in length, about was how long time clusterheads deal with CH, especially chronics. Cat and I both, deal with the hit, as best we can, and then go on with our life. We have both, at some point, made the conscientious commitment that CH was not going to rule our lives. As most of you know, I get hit fairly often, and no drugs seem to work to prevent them. The only thing I use, is my life line, oxygen, and even that does not always work. Yet I still maintain a full time job (mostly because I lucked into one that can accept my missed time, and I can work whatever hours I need to), and enjoy life to its fullest. I get hit, even a BAD one, I deal with it, and then I go back to having a ball, or whatever I was doing before the beast made his visit. My father, after finally seeing one of my hits, told one of my sisters that he knew that I had them, but he never knew how bad they were, until he witnessed one. He does not know how I cope with them. “And yet,” he says, “he goes in to deal with the hit, and then comes back out here like nothing happened, and jokes and fools around with us. How can he do that?” How? How do I and many others do it? We made the conscientious decision NOT to let it ruin us. I wallowed in self pity for a long time. Most of us have. Once I found this site, I learned how to deal with it. In the beginning, I got my ass kicked several times. For mouthing off incorrectly, and for not dealing with the beast in the right way. I deserved each kick in the ass. It was through listening to people here (yes, EVEN Jonny! haha! ;;D) that I also made the commitment to take my life back. Deal with the hits, as best you can, and then get back to living. Someone, from this site, will call me up, and ask how I am doing. My common response to that is: “GREAT! I am between hits, so everything is fine.” THAT is the attitude you have to take. Several people here are having a rough time of it. I feel so sorry for each and every one of them. But, they have to make the effort, and WORK at living your life. We all know, that this is a lifetime sentence. We have to do what we have to do. Wallowing in self pity, doesn’t do that. I am not saying that I am any stronger or tougher than anyone else. The opposite is the REAL truth! I am a wimp. It is just that I learned that I have to take control. No one else can do it for me. Almost everyone here is willing to help, but YOU have to be the one to do it. We will hold your hand, for a while, we will let you cry and whine, for a while, but at some point, we will boot you in the ass, and tell you to get a grip. We are not being mean when we do this. We TRUELY want to help, and sometimes that boot in the ass is what is needed. Good luck to you all, and I hope there is a LOT of pain free time out there. ENJOY it! Chuck |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by LeLimey on Oct 20th, 2005, 12:14pm Damn right Chuck. :-* |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by JenniferD on Oct 20th, 2005, 12:14pm Chuck, I don't have one of those hug smiley thingys, but if I did, I'd plaster about a bajillion of 'em on here. There was no better way of saying what you said. So........what you said. hug hug hug hug hug X a bajillion |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Langa on Oct 20th, 2005, 12:19pm Excellent Post Chukielicious... ;;D Langa |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Carl_D on Oct 20th, 2005, 12:20pm Awesome post Chuck! Thanks. The way I deal with a hit: I go insane and become something else. The way I deal with it afterwards: Try and regain composure and sanity, and then do something fun like play frog baseball. [smiley=laugh.gif] Peace, Carl D |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Kevin_M on Oct 20th, 2005, 12:27pm on 10/20/05 at 11:48:23, ClusterChuck wrote:
:) |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by vig on Oct 20th, 2005, 12:32pm on 10/20/05 at 12:14:56, JenniferD wrote:
[smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] some for each of us... good post CHuck.... and my hat is off to everyone that has found a way to stay positive and hopeful through our ordeal. [smiley=bow.gif] |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by catlind on Oct 20th, 2005, 12:48pm on 10/20/05 at 11:48:23, ClusterChuck wrote:
This I will not deny. And when he did try to talk, I interrupted him. We both agreed that heart attack pain is rated at a 3 ;) And of course now that you know that Chuck didn't get to talk at all and it was me the whole time, you know that it was me that said all those things in Chuck's post ;) But they apply, whether I said them or Chuck thinks he did, we all have to make the effort and make the conscious choice to not let this control us and become us, we have to simply live life, and to the fullest when we are PF. Well typed Chuck ;) Cat |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by minnie on Oct 20th, 2005, 12:57pm reprinted post.this post is from one of the best supporters Jackie.I don't mean to hijack your thread chuck but in a way it reminds me of how we supporters are in the supporters corner and here.sometimes a suppeortr gets weighed down by many things in life.mostly seeing a loved ones pain and not being able to take the pain away.so we will hold your hand, for a while, we will let you cry and whine, for a while, but at some point, we will boot you in the ass, and tell you to get a grip. We are not being mean when we do this. We TRUELY want to help, and sometimes that boot in the ass is what is needed. I guess what I'm rambling on about is how right you are Chuck (did I really say that ::) ) It's all about family and helping everyone fight their battle with the beast. off my soapbox with a [smiley=bow.gif] to you and all that the sufferors off to battle the damn beast... minnie thanks again Jackie you are so wonderful and insightful. Another kind of pain.... « on: Sep 17th, 2003, 3:02pm » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'd like to start by telling you all what this post IS NOT. This is not a post or story that is meant to be self-serving. It's not a post about who suffers more or who's pain is the more hurtful. It's not a "complain" post or a "whine" post. It's a post about what if feels like to be me.....the wife of a chronic clusterhead who I love with all my heart. It's a post about what it feels like to be me when I read so many of the sufferers posts because I have seen with my own eyes the pain they are talking about. Clusters hurt supporters hearts....... I've watched Blake reeling in pain for endless hours. I've heard him beg God to kill him. When God doesn't he's begged me. That's heart pain. I've seen Blake (some mornings) looking like he just walked out of a concentration camp.....eyes sunken in, no color, no facial expression. I ask him if he'd like a cup of coffee and say 'you better hurry up, honey, or you'll be late for work'. What I'm thinking is how can this man make it another day...how can he go to work. But...I know I have to make him try. I know I can't let him give up. That's heart pain. At different times I've asked the doctors to change Blake's drugs. I've done this more than once and it's usually when he's in "high cycle". My theory is we have to keep trying...we have to keep looking. One time when we changed drugs it made it much worse. Right in the middle of a Kip10 he's begging me to please never try another drug...please never ask him to do this again. That's heart pain. I've intentionally made Blake mad when I feel he's about to give up. I've pissed him off just to get his blood flowing and get the heart rate up. It works but it just about does me in when all I really want to do is hold him and cry. That's heart pain. Clusters hurt supporters egos...... I'm a bit of a contol freak. I like to take charge and fix things up. I like to make things better for friends, family and loved ones. But you know what.....there's not a damn thing I can do to stop the pain when the demon hits. I can't threaten him, scare him away, bust his balls or buy him off. I have to accept that I can't make it all OK for Blake until the demon lets me. I have to stand by in a helpless state. That's ego pain. There's one more pain and it's called guilt.......Blake and I are husband and wife. We are soul mates. We are best friends. We are supposed to share everything....the good things and the bad....the tears and the laughter....the pain and the "feel good" times. I have begged God to put the demon on me....to give Blake a break....to leave him alone for just one week. But.....it never happens. Blake has to endure all the hits and that's not right. That's guilt pain. Well.....that's about it I've run my mouth again as usual. Love to you all....suffers and supports alike Jackie LOL...one more thing. My theory is never let 'em see ya cry, never let 'em see ya sweat, never let them see any doubt on your face.....hang tough and they'll hang tough with ya......fight the demon with them and they won't give up......tell them that tomorrow will be better and they'll try it another day. Damn....I'm a long winded broad... |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by JDH on Oct 20th, 2005, 1:06pm Fuckeneh Chuck! Great post. As for being a wimp sorry I don't think so...you're one of the toughest mofo's here and you have a great outlook. Thanks for the words, Jim |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by jcmquix on Oct 20th, 2005, 1:14pm Chuck... This is 100% on the mark... I also know its not easy, Working & Holdong down a job when I am in cycle, But I think of my Family and I know I have to push on... I am a Quality Manager at a Plastic Molding Company, its tough when I am not in cycle, and my Boss does not give a Rats A$$ about my CH, ask my wife... I am not saying I am better than anyone either, but you just have to make to decision that you want your life back from the BEAST... Chuck, you are added to my list of People I want to Meet and shake hands with, its Great to know you.. God Bless & PFDAN's Charlie |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by LadyElaine on Oct 20th, 2005, 1:15pm Wonderful Post! Great advice! |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by E-Double on Oct 20th, 2005, 1:17pm Well put and hopefully will kick some strength towards a few ;) "It is what it is so live the life you've got!" Me |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by broomhilda on Oct 20th, 2005, 1:24pm So very true... [smiley=hug.gif]'s |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by minnie on Oct 20th, 2005, 1:32pm on 10/20/05 at 13:14:47, jcmquix wrote:
----------------------------------------------------------------------- Charlie Chuck is definately someone to meet he's great.just make sure the wardens nearbye to try to control him ;;D . I had the great honor of |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Svenn on Oct 20th, 2005, 1:34pm DAMN YOU Chuck ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D You know how i hate to do this but i do agree with you 100% on this one Gonna get you for this somehow ;;D ;;D Svenn |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by zanychef on Oct 20th, 2005, 2:50pm have to agree with you on this one chuck and just like the troll up there sure hate to lol ;) the thing is NEVER EVER GIVE UP [smiley=bigguns.gif] zany |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Jonny on Oct 20th, 2005, 3:03pm on 10/20/05 at 13:32:56, minnie wrote:
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce01b3127cce94b6a291e6a700000016108AZM2bNk5bM6 |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Sandy_C on Oct 20th, 2005, 4:59pm [quote author=ClusterChuck at some point, made the conscientious commitment that CH was not going to rule our lives. Chuck [/quote] Chuck, that's it in a nutshell. Whether we medicate, or go cold turkey, the bottom line, we have to have that commitment that this is the only life we're going to have and that we must - repeat MUST - make the most of it despite the CH, despite other problems in our lives, despite everything. Great post. Thanks Sandy |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by rextangle on Oct 20th, 2005, 5:07pm Bump! Great post, Chuck! |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by minnie on Oct 20th, 2005, 5:28pm ooh I'm so exited I'm dead and buried in Leesa's yard (funny I don't feel any different LOL ) Thank you Leesa for killing me and burying me [smiley=hug.gif] . Jonny thank you for posting the pic [smiley=bow.gif].I hope we got enough beer and hot chicken wings to last eternity.Hey chuck pass me a beer will ya. [smiley=me&mb.gif] will try to have my head back on by convention otherwise [smiley=bag.gif] |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by cathy on Oct 20th, 2005, 6:37pm chuck that was a great post good to read your doing well x |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by LeLimey on Oct 20th, 2005, 6:43pm Hi Cathy! Pam was looking to get hold of you a couple of weeks ago, can you IM her your email addy please as she was desperate to get in touch with you? I asked a couple of people on OUCH UK but no one had any up to date contact details for you. Its nice to see you! Helen |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Sean_C on Oct 20th, 2005, 7:03pm Nice post Chuckles ;) Sean........................ |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by jon019 on Oct 20th, 2005, 9:03pm Thank you Chuck, This kind of of insight, strength, and character is why I'm here at ch.com. The beast can take, and take, and take... but ultimately, it's a choice whether you let him take it all. Not me, he can't have it, Chuck says so! Regards Jon019 |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by thebbz on Oct 20th, 2005, 9:16pm ;) :'( Never give up. You made me cry dammit. I have a permanent photo of my wifes face in my mind as I woke up on the floor in her arms. Good posts to the boxer and the cornerperson. Ding. Fight the good fight jb |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Charlie on Oct 20th, 2005, 9:19pm Yup. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/VV NICE SIGN.png Try as I might, I can't find anything wrong Chuck. Nicley done. Charlie |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by sassy_lady on Oct 20th, 2005, 9:41pm Love the post Chuck!! Lord Knows I need a boot some times!! so damn hard headed!! but who knew!! LOL We all need reminded of things from time to time, & for me it was right on time.. Thanks !! Lots of love, prayers, & PF wishes to all !! Love Jolene |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Mr. Happy on Oct 20th, 2005, 11:17pm on 10/20/05 at 11:48:23, ClusterChuck wrote:
I'm thinking there were parts of this you didn't find all together objectionable, as time went by. [Insert infamous Chuckles Nashville bar pix here /img] Talking to Cat is only "talking to her" in the strictest sense of language. Enter prepared: "Yeah, Uhuh, Yeah, Yeah, Uhuh, yeah" ad nauseum. No such thing as 25 words or less. Plagiaristic sensitive wench, too. The CH stuff was right on, as always. Great to see you still plugging O2. Clustermasx (http://clustermasx.com) and Turbo Charged 540 Regs. (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=meds;action=display;num=1129654448) RJ |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by ClusterChuck on Oct 21st, 2005, 8:36pm Thanks for your comments. Now who is the first to get a kick in the ass? Git yer boot out, Jonny, there are one or two, here, that need the kick! Chuck PS: (Sorry, I can't resist the off color comment to follow) Hmmm ... sounds kinda kinky ... Maybe I will get in that line too! DO ME, Jonny !! Oh, YEAH !! HARDER !! |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Jonny on Oct 21st, 2005, 8:47pm Ive been putting the boots for years before you got here, Chuck. Most think im mean, but a few will tell you that the boot changed their life when thinking. Ask Jas why she has her children now!! For good or harm, the boot works ;;D (Im begging for bikerboy to add to this post ;;D) |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by catlind on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:03pm on 10/21/05 at 20:47:01, Jonny wrote:
Jonny and Slammy put the boots to my ass-end (boy does that sound bad!) when it was much needed. It got me through a very rough time when Clark was deployed and I was trying to deal with this on my own with 3 kids in the house. Sometimes it seems like those of us who have been around awhile are being cruel, but most of the time it's done with love, and it's a much needed kick in the ass to get people back to the business of living their life. Cat |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by ClusterChuck on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:14pm on 10/21/05 at 21:03:07, catlind wrote:
So TRUE, Cat!!! We have ALL needed that kick in the ass, at one time or another. Some, more than others. And then there are those of us, that need a 2X4 up the side of the head ... (WOW!! See that? We are not on the phone, so I actually got a few words in!!! AMAZING!!) on 10/21/05 at 20:47:01, Jonny wrote:
Yes you have! And it IS needed!!! Thank you! The only ones that think you are mean, don't know you. Those of us that know you, know what a sentimental slob you are! Also, I got a PM today, from Rex. He and I were PM'ing back and forth, talking about the constant whiners. I love the analogy that he used: Quote:
GREAT analogy!!! FLUSH the fucken BEAST!!! Chuck |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by Jonny on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:22pm on 10/21/05 at 21:14:08, ClusterChuck wrote:
BINGO!! Some flush and some stare. |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by rextangle on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:27pm ... and some stink! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by ClusterChuck on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:38pm on 10/21/05 at 21:27:23, rextangle wrote:
Now wait a minute ... Are you trying to tell us YOUR shit don't stink?? Cough .. cough .. BULLSHIT .. cough .. cough .. Chuck |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by rextangle on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:40pm Was that whining, Chuck? :o |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by E-Double on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:42pm on 10/21/05 at 21:14:08, ClusterChuck wrote:
Love it!!!!!!!!!!!! People need to deal better. Just as we say....deal with attack at hand then back to life! Nice!!!! |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by ClusterChuck on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:50pm on 10/21/05 at 21:40:37, rextangle wrote:
[smiley=bigcry.gif] WAAAH !! !! Rexy is PICKING on me !!! Make him stop !! WhINe whINe whINe WHINE !! !! [smiley=bigcry.gif] |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by rextangle on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:52pm Don't start crying Chuck you're gonna make me whine about it... :'( |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by ClusterChuck on Oct 21st, 2005, 9:58pm on 10/21/05 at 21:52:25, rextangle wrote:
GET A GRIP!! Ya whiner! FLUSH IT, and get on with yer life, a$$hole!!! ;) [smiley=looser.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=bigtiny.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] |
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Title: Re: Dealing with the BEAST Post by rextangle on Oct 21st, 2005, 10:03pm Chuck... I offer a truce.... ;) http://www.nixta.com/images/dbimage/20031008002303_turd.jpg |
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