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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Headlines They Should Have Thought About 
        
(Message started by: burnt-toast on Sep 21^st, 2005, 3:00pm)

Title: Headlines They Should Have Thought About
Post by burnt-toast on Sep 21^st, 2005, 3:00pm

Actual Newspaper Headlines

1. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
2. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
3. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
4. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
5. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
6. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
7. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
8. New Study on Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
9. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
12. Hospitals Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
13. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
14. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
15. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
16. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
17. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
18. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
19. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
20. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
21. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
22. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
23. War Dims Hope for Peace
24. Eye Drops off Shelf
25. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
26. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
27. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
28. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
29. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
30. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
31. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
32. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
33. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
34. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
35. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
36. Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Title: Re: Headlines They Should Have Thought About
Post by Jeep on Sep 21^st, 2005, 3:09pm

ROFLMAO!!! All of these are hilarious! LOL!

Title: Re: Headlines They Should Have Thought About
Post by BobG on Sep 21^st, 2005, 3:15pm

This sounds more like something George Bush said than a headline.
15. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Homeland Security agents? Duh? They were looking for what, donuts?
36. Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Title: Re: Headlines They Should Have Thought About
Post by nani on Sep 21^st, 2005, 3:18pm

33. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Part of the No Child Left Behind Act?

24. Eye Drops off Shelf
WTF kind of store is that?!?

11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
If anybody got that on video, they could make a fortune on the internet.