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Title: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Frank_W on Sep 19th, 2005, 10:44am A woman was going swimming in her backyard pool and noticed that a frog was in the pool treading water, unable to climb out. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten." The woman said, "That's okay." and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. " The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM! she's the most beautiful woman in the world. For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you ". The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM! she's the richest woman in the world. The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them. Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good. Attention male readers ONLY: Please continue. * * * * * * * * * * * * The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife. Moral of the story: Women are really not as smart as they think. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show! PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it also proves that women never do as they are told! |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by giffy76 on Sep 19th, 2005, 10:46am [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by jcmquix on Sep 19th, 2005, 10:47am [smiley=laugh.gif] ;;D [smiley=crackup.gif][smiley=crackup.gif][smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by ghost62 on Sep 19th, 2005, 10:52am Ya know they all read it but just wont admit it ... they are also stubborn. |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Jimi on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:05am That was good Frank!. Not seeeing a whole lot of comments from the wimmins. But thats ok, cause they prettier than we are. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Frank_W on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:10am Yes... They ARE pretty. (Pretty rotten...) [smiley=laugh.gif] :-X |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Langa on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:16am Yeah, I read it...it was dumb...the women I know would've been much smarter... 8) All I have to say about that... ;;D Langa |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by pattik on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:20am Yeh, I read it too...and all the time amused cause I knew where it was going (coming from Frank). I haven't met a frog that was smarter than me yet. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by LeLimey on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:20am Well duh MORON! (Frank!) You have to go past it to get to the replies!! I might have come over on the banana boat little boy but I WAS the captain! ::) |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Frank_W on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:22am [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by LeLimey on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:25am on 09/19/05 at 11:22:31, Frank_W wrote:
You know Frank... you've just confirmed my suspicions. For a long time I've had the feeling that was where your posts were coming from... |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by pattik on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:26am You can always count on these guys throwing in a moon or two [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by giffy76 on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:28am [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by burnt-toast on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:28am on 09/19/05 at 11:25:34, LeLimey wrote:
Tom |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Langa on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:28am on 09/19/05 at 11:20:23, LeLimey wrote:
My point was just made fellas... LMAO Helen! Langa |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Redd715 on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:38am Helen's zingers at Frank sure make me laugh. It's funny how Helen abuses him so, and he takes it sooooooo well. [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by LeLimey on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:46am Pssst Redd.. its 'cos he doesn't understand what I'm saying!! sssshhhh!! |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by ghost62 on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:07pm He takes it cause its from cluster henz, and we luvz cluster henz. ;) |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Frank_W on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:08pm Well, by the time I think of a good come-back, the conversation has already moved on. I'm just too S L O W . . . [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=bulb.gif] |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by LeLimey on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:08pm Aww Goatie.. you're our favourite old Cock too! :-* |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by ghost62 on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:10pm on 09/19/05 at 12:08:24, LeLimey wrote:
[smiley=spit.gif] [smiley=inlove.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=biggrin.gif] Whew Cant breath need c p r And not the plunger and stomp method either [smiley=laugh.gif] ;;D |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Melissa on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:15pm ghost, what part of old cock don't you understand? lmao |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by giffy76 on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:16pm Wow! I think that's the nicest thing Limey has ever said to Gohst :o |
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Title: Re: men jokes Post by minnie on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:19pm Love you men :-* but had to give equal time. Minnie Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because they already have boyfriends. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed. Why do men like masturbation? Its sex with someone they love. How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river. What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room. Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you? What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette? The porcupine has pricks on the outside. How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove. What is a man's view of safe sex? A padded headboard. How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable". Why did God create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block. Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down. What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women." How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A.One - men will screw anything. B.One - men will screw up anything. C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner. What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging. How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing. What's the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature. How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head. What do men and beer have in common? They're both empty from the neck up. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Who knows? - did it ever happen?? How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small. What is a man's idea of doing housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum. What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence. How does a man show he's planning for the Future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk. Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What did God say after creating man? I can do better. Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what? Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention. How is a man like a snowstorm? Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay. What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist. Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing. |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Redd715 on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:21pm on 09/19/05 at 12:15:54, Melissa wrote:
Just goes to show you who is and who isn't on top of things. Pegg |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Langa on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:48pm Minnie...those quotes cracked me up!!!! [smiley=crackup.gif] I loved the quickie one... ;;D |
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Title: Re: men jokes Post by sandie99 on Sep 19th, 2005, 1:00pm on 09/19/05 at 12:19:10, minnie wrote:
My faves. ;;D Thank you Minnie! Those were priceless! [smiley=crackup.gif] Sanna ;;D |
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Title: Re: men jokes Post by Frank_W on Sep 19th, 2005, 1:01pm on 09/19/05 at 12:19:10, minnie wrote:
When women do it, is it a chance for self-loathing? I don't understand. Quote:
You say this like it's a bad thing. Besides, I've known women who wear the same brassiere for a week at a time. (or LONGER!) LMAO Quote:
Even thinner: The ways in which men are appreciated. ;) |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by ghost62 on Sep 19th, 2005, 1:19pm on 09/19/05 at 12:21:29, Redd715 wrote:
I dont care who is on top ;;D ;;D ;) ;) ;) :-* :-* :-X |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by Charlie on Sep 19th, 2005, 7:55pm Somebody say something? Charlie http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/female.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://www.kolobok.wrg.ru/smiles/remake/haha.gif?SSImageQuality=Full |
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Title: lifes ponderings or *W*T*F* ? Post by minnie on Sep 19th, 2005, 8:39pm Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough there in the first place? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,but always check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up skydiving! And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it must be you. |
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Title: Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins Post by minnie on Sep 19th, 2005, 8:49pm bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this Country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives..... " "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'." I BET YOU READ THIS AGAIN!!!! |
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