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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Sad news, help!
        
(Message started by: sandie99 on Sep 16^th, 2005, 3:12pm)

Title: Sad news, help!
Post by sandie99 on Sep 16^th, 2005, 3:12pm

I just had a long talk with Hanna, a dear friend of mine. She told me sad news: her mother has breast cancer... :(

If that's not serious enough, Hanna's father is on sick leave as well, as he can barely walk. He has diabetes and it's getting to him.

I need your help now. I know what it's like to lose a parent to cancer, after all, I've lost my dad to brain cancer in 1997.

But now I need your advices, tips & experiences about brest cancer. I don't know much about that precisely. I did find a website which has discussion groups for those who have cancer and the website of Finnish cancer organisations. That's a start.

I heard that Hanna's mum goes to surgery next week and then they'll see what's next. I'll be praying for her this weekend.

I told Hanna (who is also a flatmate of mine) to take care of herself, too. What else??? I know I've forgotten something. Remind me.

Those who have vibes and/or prayers to spare, recall Hanna's parents, okay? That would be appreciated indeed.

Thank you.

Sanna

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by Jasmyn on Sep 16^th, 2005, 4:02pm

Vibes to your friend Sanna and you are a grate pal!

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by TomM on Sep 16^th, 2005, 4:09pm

Read this book by Tina Wray.
http://www.salve.edu/salvetoday/archives/view_archive_public.cfm?archive_ID=905
and...I happen to know her. She was my sister's college roomate and a good friend.
TomM

Edit: "Wray has already published two books: "Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies" (May 2003) and "Grief Dreams: How They Help Heal Us After the Death of a Loved One" (February 2005)."

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by sandie99 on Sep 16^th, 2005, 4:11pm

on 09/16/05 at 16:09:04, TomM wrote:

Read this book by Tina Wray.
http://www.salve.edu/salvetoday/archives/view_archive_public.cfm?archive_ID=905
and...I happen to know her. She was my sister's colleg roomate and a good friend.
TomM

Thanks for the tip, Tom! I let her know. :)
I'm not sure if it's available in bookstores here, but there's always amazon... ;;D

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by TomM on Sep 16^th, 2005, 4:13pm

I bought the book for friend who lost his brother and had her sign it for him. I beleive I ordered it from Amazon.

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by Ree on Sep 16^th, 2005, 6:34pm

there is quite a bit on the net..... My prayers are for your friend tonight..... Be well... I have a friend that is in remission for about 4 years.... it is curable.... love ree

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by Cathi04 on Sep 16^th, 2005, 6:56pm

Sanna, My mom is a 23 yr breast cancer survivor! We will be attending the Susan G Kommen Survivor's luncheon for our 5th year running. My mother was diagnosed 6 months after my father died of Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
Why did my mother survive, but not my father?
1-It was caught early(yes, she had a radical mastectomy)
2-Her Dr was quite aqgressive
3-She has a marvelous attitude. NOTHINg stopped her from work or social events while she did the chemo-she wore a wig and a smile everywhere.
4-She was very lucky!
There is soo much research going on nowadays in the cancer arena, please tell Hanna to be positive, hopeful and loving-AND ask the Dr all along the way if this is the BEST treatment he knows of.....

It's scary, but breast cancer can be beat......you should SEE this room of men and women(YES, Men, you too can get breast cancer).1500-strong who stand together, with a candle lit....people who have NOT lost the war with cancer. I will be especially grateful, since Mom had another run in this spring. Colon cancer..and in the lymph nodes.....but, at 80 yrs of age, she is still a survivor......and she makes me very proud!

My heart goes out to Hanna.........I am glad you are such a dear friend to her!

Cathi :-*

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by Carl_D on Sep 16^th, 2005, 7:23pm

Vibes and prayers going out.
Cancer is scary, but beatable.
[smiley=hug.gif]

Peace,
Carl D

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by Charlie on Sep 16^th, 2005, 7:53pm

So sorry to hear and all I can do is wish you the best. II'll be thinking of you.

Charlie

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by Melissa on Sep 16^th, 2005, 10:43pm

Sanna, my mom died in 2001 from breast cancer. She decided that when it was discovered, she was not going to seek treatment due to watching her father struggle through prostate cancer. This was my moms choice, and although she had a radical masectomy in the beginning of 2000, it spread to her lungs via her glands and resurfaced in Jan. 2001. She died April 9, 2001.

I do believe in fighting for your life, and as Cathi has shown, many are survivors. I'm here if you need to talk.

hugs,
mel

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by Cathi04 on Sep 16^th, 2005, 10:50pm

Mel, I'm so sorry your mother lost the war. I celebrate your spirit.........life is worth fighting for.

:-*Cathi

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by DonnaHar on Sep 16^th, 2005, 10:53pm

Sanna.....so sorry about Hannas' mom. It is so very scarey.

Prayers are being said daily until we hear good news.

Title: Re: Sad news, help!
Post by sandie99 on Sep 17^th, 2005, 1:33am

Thank you, guys. :)

Last night when I talked with Hanna, she kept saying that if her mother had to have cancer, she's glad that it's brest cancer, because so much is known about it and it's curable. We thought about all the people we both know who have had breast cancer and survived.

Honestly, I think that Hanna is relieved that there are famous sufferers like Anastacia and Kylie. It makes the whole process more human. And I think that her mother sees cancer as another bump in the road which can be crossed in time.

Naturally, in Hanna's mother's case, the whole process is in the beginning and there's a long way to go. Hanna said that her mum has a great doctor, who has told the whole family (Hanna, her dad & 3 siblings) about treatments and possibilities. I think that that has helped Hanna to deal with the situation. When my father got sick, he didn't tell mum and me that much at all and we had to insist before he let us come with him to meet his doctors.

Donna, like you said, attitude makes all the difference. I think that if it will decide whether Hanna's mum will survive or not, then she'll ge fine. Her whole family has wonderful, positive & optimistic attitude. That will help them a lot.

I just hope that Hanna won't fall into over optimistic trap like I did when my dad got cancer. I reacted by crying a lot in the beginning (I didn't let him know) and then I decided that he'll be fine and refused to even consider the possibility that he might not make it. Perhaps that's why it took such a long time for me to heal from his death. That's why I said to Hanna yesterday that it is okay to feel sad about it and cry when she feels like it.

I will tell you how things progress as soon as I hear more about it from Hanna.

Best wishes,
Sanna