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Title: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by daffyswacky on Sep 16th, 2005, 11:30am "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "Self,... It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group...salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite s e x without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by sandie99 on Sep 16th, 2005, 11:35am [smiley=laugh.gif] Has anybody seen the film Sideways...? This post reminded me of that film. :) Sanna |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by giffy76 on Sep 16th, 2005, 11:36am [smiley=me&mb.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by Frank_W on Sep 16th, 2005, 12:57pm Quote:
And all this time, I thought it was 'cause I'm a white boy. :-/ [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by ArCane on Sep 16th, 2005, 1:10pm [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] The best comedy is always about the truth. |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by pattik on Sep 16th, 2005, 1:15pm on 09/16/05 at 11:35:06, sandie99 wrote:
....great film....made me want to go out and get some pinot noir ;;D |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by BobG on Sep 16th, 2005, 2:57pm Have ya heard the new album from Brad Paisley? "Time Well Wasted" It's from the alcohol's point of view. "Try me and I bet I can make you want to wear a lampshade on your head" http://www.bradpaisley.com/index.php?content=music_twwpreview |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by seasonalboomer on Sep 16th, 2005, 3:01pm on 09/16/05 at 14:57:02, BobG wrote:
the new group of country drinking songs are contrived compared to Hank, Jr., Willie, Waylon, Johnny Paycheck, George jones and others. Or even Garth for that matter, "..where the whiskey drowns and the beer washes my blues away"........ even gretchen wilson's new drinking ditty, really drunk redneck chicks, now there's a turn-on....please... |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by sandie99 on Sep 16th, 2005, 3:28pm on 09/16/05 at 14:57:02, BobG wrote:
I have that album, Bob! :) Sanna |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by Charlie on Sep 16th, 2005, 3:32pm Charlie http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/tenbeer.gif |
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Title: Re: Find some life in your "WINE".... Post by sandie99 on Sep 16th, 2005, 3:33pm on 09/16/05 at 15:01:49, seasonalboomer wrote:
Let's not forget Willie Nelson & Toby Keith duet "Beer for My Horses"! I love that song! ;;D Well a man come on the 6 o’clock news Said somebody’s been shot, somebody’s been abused Somebody blew up a building Somebody stole a car Somebody got away Somebody didn’t get too far yeah They didn’t get too far Grandpappy told my pappy, back in my day, son A man had to answer for the wicked that he done Take all the rope in Texas Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys Hang them high in the street for all the people to see that Justice is the one thing you should always find You got to saddle up your boys You got to draw a hard line When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune We’ll all meet back at the local saloon We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds We’ve got too much corruption, too much crime in the streets It’s time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground Send ’em all to their maker and he’ll settle ’em down You can bet he’ll set ’em down ’cause Justice is the one thing you should always find You got to saddle up your boys You got to draw a hard line When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune We’ll all meet back at the local saloon We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses Justice is the one thing you should always find You got to saddle up your boys You got to draw a hard line When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune We’ll all meet back at the local saloon We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses |
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