|
||
|
Title: Update...it's official...(9-13 update) Post by Redd715 on Sep 12th, 2005, 11:55pm As of noon today the Doctor odrered nothing more but "comfort measures" per my orders. Medicare would not cover her being in the hospital and so they transfered her back to the nursing home. She's lived there for 5 years now so at least she is in familiar surroundings, and since Terry nor I can spend the night there at least if she deteriorates when we cant be there, she will still be amoung familiar faces and not strangers. Terry will be here this week with me...if this takes longer then I'll be on my own again. Tomorrow is the funeral home and getting final plans in place. Suprises of all suprises, my two other brothrs and my one of three sisters actually made it today. Although they stayed their distance from Mom, as though she wasn't even in the room, they were there. Ex hubby brought Meg and Dyl to see her and though they did get tary eyed, they were real troopers. Meg is the eternal optomist and said that miracles still happen. Gotta love her spirit. Dyl is battleing something within him. He and Mom had a very special relationship. Long story short, Dyl and Meg were the first of a long line of grandkids Mom had theat she really had the opportunity to get close to. Distance prevented bonding with her other grandkids the way she had with these two. We did alot of hugging and crying...they understand that it's just a matter of time now...days, maybe a week or two. All depends. She has a Duagesic patch on and there is orders for a sublingual pain killer for flair ups, but let her go as PF as possible. Terry and I went to the corner bar and had a few to take the edge off and maybe get some sleep. He's sawing logs now and I'm still wide awake. I have to give him credit, we discussed this at length, and whenalking to the Doc today, though I made it clear, he said the words to save me the tourture of having to do it. As we wlked away from the Doctors office he said " I'm still the big brother, baby girl, and I said it so you didn't have to. I'ts my job to hold you up." I Love my brother!!!!!! Back at the nursing home I had to sign all the paperwork on the new orders, and all the staff were in support of this, they've seen Mom deteriorate over time. I know I've been derilect in my charge and allowed may treatments to be administered that Mom would have refused were she of sound mind. It's a tight wire we walk. If this descion today will bring legal consequences to me so be it. I know my entire family is behind this 100%. I have all the proof I need. Thanks for letting me vent. I really needed this. I Thank all the powers that be this family is here...you have been a confort in this difficult time. I Love you all. |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by BlueMeanie on Sep 13th, 2005, 12:06am Pegg, Don't know what to say in times like this. Sounds like you're holding up as well as you can. My thoughts and prayers are with you. My condolences to you and your family. Bob |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Racer1_NC on Sep 13th, 2005, 12:06am Pegg......anything you need, just say it. My thoughts are with you. Bill |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Redd715 on Sep 13th, 2005, 12:16am Parts of m are being logical and ther are the emotions that wel up and overtake me from time to time and make this whole process a real mess. This is a roller coaster to be sure. Hard to play ther rolls of care taker and mourning child at the same time. I'll probably fall into a full out breakdwn once all his is over... Someone want to book me the rubber room now please? |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by sandie99 on Sep 13th, 2005, 12:52am Pegg.... [smiley=hug.gif] "Those who we love are always part of us, no matter what happends and we can never lose what's part of us" (Unknown) All I can say is that you're in my prayers and so are Meg and Dylan. I'm glad that your siblings can be there with you at least for now. Wishing you strength, Sanna |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by purpleydog on Sep 13th, 2005, 1:24am Pegg, you know my number sis. I'm with you. Love you. Chris |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by LeLimey on Sep 13th, 2005, 2:40am Like Bill said, anything you want or need is yours. We're all here for you Pegg and always will be. Take care lots of love Helen X |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Jasmyn on Sep 13th, 2005, 3:58am [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by giffy76 on Sep 13th, 2005, 5:33am [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by vig on Sep 13th, 2005, 5:55am shine on Pegg, it's a tough thing and I don't think it could've been done any better. |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by jcmquix on Sep 13th, 2005, 6:09am Pegg.... Our Thought's & Prayer's are with You & Your Family... God Bless You ALL !!!! Charlie & Jolene [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Woobie on Sep 13th, 2005, 7:09am Hugz to you Pegg............. [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by rickyshot on Sep 13th, 2005, 7:25am more [smiley=hug.gif] to you,. |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Sandy_C on Sep 13th, 2005, 7:39am Hang on, Pegg. You're doing the right thing. It's hard, I know, but you are stong. I don't think you will need a rubber room, just the hugs and love from your family and friends will help you get through. Sandy |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by nani on Sep 13th, 2005, 8:17am You have my thoughts and prayers, Pegg. [smiley=hug.gif] hugs, nani |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Sep 13th, 2005, 8:22am [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by gMike on Sep 13th, 2005, 8:49am Please don't beat yourself up about what you have to do! Your Mom is blessed to have someone like you to consider what is best for her and to take the appropriate actions. I know that doesn't make it any easier on you or the family. None of you caused her to be in the condition she is in so there is no blame to be apportioned. It is an emotional time - let it be so but don't feel guilt or assign blame for what is a normal part of the end of life. Do the best you can for her and keep the memories alive and well by thinking of her often. I wish there was more that could be said to ease you and your siblings through this difficult time. The best to you all. Mike |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by broomhilda on Sep 13th, 2005, 1:30pm Pegg, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers :'( [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Gator on Sep 13th, 2005, 1:54pm You are fulfilling your mother's wishes. She trusted you above all because she believed you had the strength to carry them out. You're doing just fine, Pegg. Lean on us if you need to. You have the phone numbers of many people who care. Use them if you need to. |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Ronny on Sep 13th, 2005, 2:31pm you and your family are in my thoughts. Wishing you all the best. |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by LadyElaine on Sep 13th, 2005, 2:39pm Redd had I been able to do that for my Dad I think I would be ok with his death. My Dad was in pain and they would not let him die in peace. I couldn't stop it and it kills me. You had the power to stop it. Your Mom is blessed to have such wonderful children to fill her wishes. You will be in peace for it. God Bless you and your Family! |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by rextangle on Sep 13th, 2005, 4:17pm Pegg, stay strong and I hope all works out for you.... [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Jill on Sep 13th, 2005, 4:51pm Pegg, We are thinking of you in this difficult time... You have a done a great thing for your mom and I am sure that she is proud of you for respecting her wishes. When my dad died, I read this quote at his service and it has gotten me through some tough times and I wanted to share it with you. So as you say your goodbyes, remember that she wont be far away and will be watching over you.. "Perhaps they are not merely stars in the sky but holes in the floor of heaven where are loved ones can watch down over us and tell us that they are happy" Jill and Marty |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by cootie on Sep 13th, 2005, 6:05pm Sheeewww.....chokein me up here......that has to be SO HARD !!!! Hang in there ! Live on Pam |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Charlie on Sep 13th, 2005, 7:44pm We're here for you and rant away and let us know what we can do. You've done good work kid. http://www.subscribe.smileygenerator.us/all/albums/0riginals/clap.gif?SSImageQuality=Full Charlie |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Kris_in_SJ on Sep 13th, 2005, 7:47pm Many hugs and prayers for you, Pegg. xxoo Kris |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official... Post by Redd715 on Sep 13th, 2005, 9:05pm Mom has refused to take anything by mouth today. Not so much as a sip of juice. She would be alert for no more than a minute at a time. For the most part she is resting peacefully, thoughshe does have brief moments of discomfort when caughing on the flem, or other transient chest pain but this I can only assume. Kevin brought his son up to say his goodbyes today. Terry and I went to the Funeral Home where a fund had been started 5 years ago. About half of what is needed is in there, and then there is the luncheon to pay for as well. Tomorrow Terry and I will be going to the Chalet and talk to the banquet manager seeing what that cost is going to be as well as go choose the flowers and ascess those costs. Mom will be creamated as per her wishes and burried on top of her first husband's grave, leaving her plot still open. I'll be composing the obituary over the next night or two. This will be hard. We will not purchase an Urn, not enough funds for that. Right now I'm just numb. Trying to get things done now so that when the time comes it's taken care of and there is no trying to deal with details and grief at the same time. I read DJ's Grandmother passed, and do, more than most, feel his pain today. DJ' my heart goes out to you and yours today, and always. |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official...(9-13 update) Post by Redneck on Sep 13th, 2005, 9:07pm Thinking of you and your family in this difficult time. |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official...(9-13 update) Post by sassy_lady on Sep 13th, 2005, 10:27pm Pegg, I'm so sorry, You & your Family are in our Prayers, Lots of Love & Vibes !!! Jolene & Charlie |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official...(9-13 update) Post by Frank_W on Sep 14th, 2005, 7:39am Pegg, my condolences to you and yours. It sounds like, aside from some occasional discomfort, that she has made her peace. Strength and comfort to you, and especially to Dylan... Tough stuff to deal with... |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official...(9-13 update) Post by vig on Sep 14th, 2005, 7:50am [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: Update...it's official...(9-13 update) Post by TxBasslady on Sep 14th, 2005, 3:30pm Made the same decision for my Mom...exactly 5 years ago, today. I never regreted it....it was the right thing to do. Thoughts and prayers for 'ya, Jean |
||
|
Clusterheadaches.com Message Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.1! YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved. |