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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Slamming Wimmen
        
(Message started by: Jimi on Aug 16^th, 2005, 6:46pm)

Title: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Jimi on Aug 16^th, 2005, 6:46pm

.....is ok in clusterville BUT....many of you in the workplace may find the wimmin a tad smarter and try to get you in trouble, so I offer this to the guys as a public safety announcement.

Many of us are entering professional enviroments and could use these helpful phrases.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -
She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" -
She is, "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" -
She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -
She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" -
She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED".

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you -
She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" -
She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" -
She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" -
She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

And for my cluster sisters lest you get in trouble too, I offer these helps.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -
He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" -
&nb! sp; He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -
He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" -
He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" -
He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -
! ; He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" -
He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" -
He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" -
He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -
It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

I just love the wimmens ;;D
__________________________________________________

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Redd715 on Aug 16^th, 2005, 7:31pm

Jimi's working on his bending technique at this time, as he's fully aware of the invasion of from the rear that the women folk are about to bestow upon his sorry ass......

(I luv ya bro but you got this one a'comin)... ;;D

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Jonny on Aug 16^th, 2005, 7:35pm

Lock-n-Load, Jimi, take no prisoners ;;D

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Charlie on Aug 16^th, 2005, 7:48pm

http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/male.gif?SSImageQuality=Full

http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/getwell.gif?SSImageQuality=Full

Charlie

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Kris_in_SJ on Aug 16^th, 2005, 7:52pm

I won't lower myself to make a reply to this happy-crappy!

Kris

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by E-Double on Aug 16^th, 2005, 8:02pm

on 08/16/05 at 19:48:16, Charlie wrote:

http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/male.gif?SSImageQuality=Full

http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/getwell.gif?SSImageQuality=Full

Charlie

[smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by nani on Aug 16^th, 2005, 8:47pm

OK sisters...
What say we pitch in some money and pay our sister Ruthie to start "playing tricks" on Jimi?
Like...lots of Milk of magnesia in his oatmeal, Preparation H in his toothpaste tube, hmmm... the possiibilities are endless... http://bestsmileys.com/evil/3.gif

I think our follically disadvantaged brother needs a lesson....

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Redneck on Aug 16^th, 2005, 8:52pm

You cuda done without the kiss their butt male part. Take em' down, take names later. Male bashing gone far enuff. Time to stand up and ::) And don't even throw no chocolate in for good measure.

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Redd715 on Aug 16^th, 2005, 8:57pm

on 08/16/05 at 20:52:10, Redneck wrote:

You cuda done without the kiss their butt male part. Take em' down, take names later. Male bashing gone far enuff. Time to stand up and ::) And don't even throw no chocolate in for good measure.

Another Bro I need to tell to bend over and take it like a man....

warning this is not for the faint of heart...

http://httpd.chello.nl/~i.bos1/jackass/images/se02ep02-09.jpg

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Redneck on Aug 16^th, 2005, 9:01pm

on 08/16/05 at 20:57:43, Redd715 wrote:

Another Bro I need to tell to bend over and take it like a man....

warning this is not for the faint of heart...

http://httpd.chello.nl/~i.bos1/jackass/images/se02ep02-09.jpg

Hmmm, that don't look like no bro!

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Redd715 on Aug 16^th, 2005, 9:02pm

Not a bro....just a good facsimile there of.... [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Charlie on Aug 16^th, 2005, 9:17pm

http://smiles.ru/coll/dark/aaa.gif?SSImageQuality=Full

OUCH

Charlie

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Lizzie2 on Aug 16^th, 2005, 9:18pm

Well....some of them ARE pretty damn funny, though!!

This one was my favourite:

Quote:

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" -
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

LMAO I know quite a few people who fit this description. Perfect :)

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by LeLimey on Aug 17^th, 2005, 5:00am

That one wasn't worth firing over!

Jimi, if that was the best you can do my sweet you deserve my pity not my wrath.
Rest easy old timer, I'm not hunting geriatrics today ;)

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Jasmyn on Aug 17^th, 2005, 5:26am

Jimi

As you guys have this problem with rectal-cranium inversion, I suggest that you investigate alternative destinations before we give you more follicle regression by inserting your liquid grain storage facility up your rear cleavage! :-* ;;D

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by nani on Aug 17^th, 2005, 7:14am

on 08/17/05 at 05:26:47, Jasmyn wrote:

before we give you more follicle regression by inserting your liquid grain storage facility up your rear cleavage! :-* ;;D

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/nani36/Head_up_Ass.jpg

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Sandy_C on Aug 17^th, 2005, 7:34am

on 08/17/05 at 07:14:15, nani wrote:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/nani36/Head_up_Ass.jpg

[smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Langa on Aug 17^th, 2005, 8:01am

I've said it before and i'll say it again...
Jimi, you suck...

Have a nice day... :)

Love ya...
Langa

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by burnt-toast on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:14am

Hey, hold on here ladies.......

Jimi gave us a fair and balanced list of politically correct statements for both female and male conditions.

As usual you gals have jumped on the poor guy with only half the information being absorbed into your grey matter.

I believe the politically correct term for this in women is

"she is reactionary challenged while factually insufficient"

Common term - "she flies off the handle when full of S**T"

I think apologies to Jimi are in order - shame on you gals for missing his attempt at fairness and an unfair world. :-/

Tom

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Frank_W on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:30am

"She is arbitrarily confrontational."

(tr. "She is such a bitch!" ) LMAO!!

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Jimi on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:31am

*sigh* All I wanted to do this time was be fair,,,

But what do I get?.... HEARTACHE..nothing but HEARTACHE. Oops..time for my pills.... [smiley=cool2.gif]

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Langa on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:37am

Quote:

But what do I get?.... HEARTACHE..nothing but HEARTACHE.

My heart bleeds for you... [smiley=smartass2.gif]

Langa

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by ghost62 on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:40am

Ok here goes a duck and cover reply.

C ant
U nderstand
N ormal
T hinking

now running for cover ;) ;;D ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=curtain.gif] [smiley=curtain.gif]

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Langa on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:45am

I hate that word...C U N T...ugh! [smiley=bash.gif]

Langa

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by seasonalboomer on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:46am

everything is all funny, everybody yukking it up, and then....someone uses the "C" word..... >:(

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by ghost62 on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:49am

H opeless
E nergetic
N eurotic

;;D

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by sassy_lady on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:51am

Ghost is that your new nick name? Should we start calling you that from now on instead of Goatie?
;;D ::) ::) ;;D

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by ghost62 on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:54am

I suppose so but then again I do suffer from SWINE EMPATHY.

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Langa on Aug 17^th, 2005, 10:57am

on 08/17/05 at 10:54:37, ghost62 wrote:

I suppose so but then again I do suffer from SWINE EMPATHY.

True

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by LeLimey on Aug 17^th, 2005, 11:02am

Goat you do not. There is a pig farm a few miles from us and you have no empathy with them. They are quite intelligent, not bad looking and don't smell THAT bad..

where do you get off thinking you have ANYTHING in common with them????? ;)

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by pattik on Aug 17^th, 2005, 11:06am

Goat....you had better be running for cover [smiley=hammer.gif]

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by ghost62 on Aug 17^th, 2005, 11:08am

There you go jimi the heat is off of you now ;;D

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Jimi on Aug 17^th, 2005, 11:21am

Thanks Ghost....... ;;D

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by LeLimey on Aug 17^th, 2005, 11:22am

on 08/17/05 at 11:08:03, ghost62 wrote:

There you go jimi the heat is off of you now ;;D

ya think dicksplat?!! forgotten "the list"?! Us ladies can multi-task AND reload y'know!

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by giffy76 on Aug 17^th, 2005, 11:33am

Dicksplat? now that's funny.

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by ghost62 on Aug 17^th, 2005, 11:39am

on 08/17/05 at 11:22:18, LeLimey wrote:

ya think dicksplat?!! forgotten "the list"?! Us ladies can multi-task AND reload y'know!

Ive wondered where the lists went no updates lately. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

dicksplat I like that thanks

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Langa on Aug 17^th, 2005, 12:22pm

on 08/17/05 at 11:22:18, LeLimey wrote:

ya think dicksplat?!! forgotten "the list"?! Us ladies can multi-task AND reload y'know!

Dicksplat???

Girl you crack me up!
[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]
Langa

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by giffy76 on Aug 17^th, 2005, 12:31pm

My personal favorites are "dimpledick" or "swizzlenuts" I enjoy calling many co-workers these names, it's great fun, try it sometime.

Example; That Norm really pisses me off, He's such a dimpledick.

Hey ( co-workers name ) swizzlenuts how's your day goin?

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by sandie99 on Aug 17^th, 2005, 12:41pm

;;D [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by pattik on Aug 17^th, 2005, 1:18pm

[smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Charlie on Aug 17^th, 2005, 6:05pm

Here ya go girls: http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/censor.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://www.kolobok.wrg.ru/smiles/he_and_she/feminist_en.gif?SSImageQuality=Full

Never tell us that we are not fair and balanced.

OUCH.

Charlie

Title: Re: Slamming Wimmen
Post by Jonny on Aug 17^th, 2005, 6:19pm

on 08/17/05 at 12:31:08, giffy76 wrote:

I like "Hey fuck face"

It probably helps if your paying the guy you call that though.....LMAO ;;D