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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Don't know what to do.
        
(Message started by: thomas on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:18pm)
Title: Don't know what to do.
Post by thomas on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:18pm
I've been around a while, have seen lots of things and experienced quite a lot in my 33 years.  During the whole of my life, I have had one person that has cared for and loved me more than any one else in my life combined.  This person has saved my life, wiped my tears, fed me, cleaned me and been a dear, dear friend always sacrificing her own wants and needs in order to make sure that I was provided for.  I know that I would not be the man I am if I hadn't been blessed enough to have her in my life.  I may have seen this person for the last time, this last weekend.  She has been my rock and safe haven my whole life.  I can not even begin to imagine what life will be like without her.  This is not a call for prayers or vibes and such as that, just rambling and letting these feelings out, it's killing me right now.  From her I learned how to be strong and take the world head on.  I know that, that is what she would want me to do now, but I don't think I am quite strong enough.  Sorry for venting, but I just had to put some of these feelings to words.  :-[ :'(
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Margi on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:21pm
well, my friend, whether you want it or not, I am sending you prayers anyway.  

Know that we are standing silently beside you right now in your sadness, letting you know that you don't have to face anything alone. We are here.  

If there's anything you need, you just let us know, ok?  
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Woobie on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:23pm
[smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]

Love you Thomas!
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by broomhilda on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:27pm
 :'( [smiley=hug.gif] Thinking of all of you...
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by aprilbee on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:29pm
[smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif]

Things ALWAYS work out they way they are supposed to!!  vent away, get all your feelings out in the universe and all will be as it should!!!  Lots of hugs and kisses to my flirtin' partna!! You will be fine!!  :-*
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by unsolved1 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:30pm
Sorry to hear it. Be strong!!

Best wishes
Michael
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Jasmyn on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:33pm
[smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by vig on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:36pm
I haven't met anybody stronger than you, bro.
inside and out.
hang tough
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:36pm
DAMN I wish there was something I could say. God bless you and Her. She sounds very special. Always remember the good and she will be with you forever.  :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:49pm
I'm sorry Thomas - may God give you the strength you will need to get through this. :'(

Carol
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Jonny on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:49pm
Hang in there my brother, there are no words to describe the pain you feel. Time will never erase the pain completely, but it will help alot.

Let it out in the shower, I did for more than thirty days  :'(

Still do sometimes.
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Melissa on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:50pm
That caring, love and strength will stay with you.  Forever and always.  It will never leave you.  I hope you believe me when I say that, because it's true.  You have my thoughts Thomas.

love you,
mel
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Svenn on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:54pm
DAMN I wish there was something I could say. God bless you and Her.
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Linda_Howell on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:58pm


 
Quote:
but I don't think I am quite strong enough.


Of course you are.  You learned it from her remember?

I refuse to send you vibes or prayers.... but is it all right if I light a candle?   We are all here,  if or when,  you need to talk about it.


Linda
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Carl_D on Aug 2nd, 2005, 5:54pm
:'(

Just remember, you will carry her in your heart forever. Keeping you in my thoughts bro. It takes time, but time does heal these wounds. You're stronger than even you know.

Stay Strong,
Carl
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by alienspacebabe on Aug 2nd, 2005, 5:55pm
thomas, you are strong enough...
you can and will get through this....
and you will always know that she loved you completely... [smiley=hug.gif]
let us know what we can do to help
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by nani on Aug 2nd, 2005, 6:00pm
Yup, you're strong...no doubt about it.
Nope, I'm not sending any vibes.

You do know what to do. Let it out, allow yourself to be sad, too. We are strongest when we admit we are also vulnerable. Sending love...the strongest force there is...
~nani
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Karla on Aug 2nd, 2005, 6:42pm
Dear Thomas, I am praying for you to have strength and comfort during this difficult time. Hang tough!
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Kevin_M on Aug 2nd, 2005, 6:45pm
Your words, tears, thoughts, all show immense feeling you've gained through being with her.  Your strength she raised from within you shows in your feelings for her right now.  It touches unexplainably deep sometimes.  

Take your time for your thoughts.
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by burnt-toast on Aug 2nd, 2005, 7:11pm
God, watch over all those that need to feel your presence most.  Heal those that can be healed and give understanding to those that cannot.  Please do not forget to watch over their families and friends.  Amen.

Have strength Thomas

Tom

   
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by JDH on Aug 2nd, 2005, 7:17pm
We're here for you brother.

Jim
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Jackie on Aug 2nd, 2005, 7:23pm
Thomas,

My heart goes out to you.  I can't think of more to say at this time except.... we love you.  You know where we are if there is anything we can do.

Love to you,
Jackie
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Kris_in_SJ on Aug 2nd, 2005, 7:42pm
My thoughts and deepest prayers are with you, Thomas.  Be strong, but not too strong.  Grief is part of the process, as painful as it is.

Many strong hugs, my friend.

Kris
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by alchemy on Aug 2nd, 2005, 7:49pm
we can never replace her in your life but we can sure as hell be here for you   jim
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by don on Aug 2nd, 2005, 7:54pm

Quote:
but I don't think I am quite strong enough.  Sorry for venting, but I just had to put some of these feelings to words.    


Only a strong man could post what you did. Be thankful for the gift and carry on her legacy. You will do her proud without a doubt.
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Cathi04 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 8:06pm
Oh, T.........I am in the same boat, my heart goes out to you.
They're all RIGHT, y'know. You ae one strong man......with a huge heart that's breaking, but, Jonny's right, you have to let the grief out....now, or 10 yrs from now, when it bubbles up out of nowhere........and, you know how I know you'll be strong enough to get through this? It's coz you dont want her to suffer.........she's going where the pain wont find her.....and you will find a way to fill the hole left in your heart....and she will live on, through you.........

If I could reach up that far, I'd give you a hug...........but, couldja bend over a bit.. meet me halfway?

:-* :-/Cathi
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by E-Double on Aug 2nd, 2005, 8:35pm
Many hugs to ya bro!!!

Here if & when needed!

Ex2
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by maffumatt on Aug 2nd, 2005, 8:56pm
stiff upper lip, ........
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Jimi on Aug 2nd, 2005, 10:35pm
       Putting your thoughts into words will be a comfort to you one day. Save this post and all of the responses. You will draw from it. All I can say is that I am sorry that it is your time to go through it.

Love you brother,
Jimi
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Edna on Aug 2nd, 2005, 10:57pm
Tuggin at my heart here Thomas!!!     Many hugs. Thanks for caring enough to share and let us be there for you.

In my thoughts,
EDNA
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by DonnaHar on Aug 2nd, 2005, 11:23pm
At times like this, we draw on our friends support, and Thomas, you have so many here.

We care and are here for you.
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by cootie on Aug 2nd, 2005, 11:38pm
Sorry Thomas........your a good man.......be strong. Heartfelt and sad Pam
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Charlie on Aug 2nd, 2005, 11:51pm
So sorry Thomas. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/pat.gif

I think it's great that you can put your grief into words.

Somewhat like Jonny; all I can say is that things get a bit easier with time but that's about it when you feel this way.

Hang in there.

Charlie
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by sassy_lady on Aug 3rd, 2005, 5:23am
Sooo Sorry Honey, in my Prayers & Heart.
Lot Of Love & Prayers to You & Yours..
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by rickyshot on Aug 3rd, 2005, 6:19am
OMG I missed something. I assume someone passed away. If so I am so sorry and Thomas you have my prayers.  I am glad to know you.
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Frank_W on Aug 3rd, 2005, 7:11am
Thomas, you have my phone number. Use it. Anytime. You ARE strong enough. My very best to you, bro'. It's tough, but you are tougher. [smiley=hug.gif]
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by clarence on Aug 3rd, 2005, 7:18am
Thomas - my thoughts and prayers are with you.  Hang in there.

Casey
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by jcmquix on Aug 3rd, 2005, 7:21am
Hang Tough Thomas...

Just do not hold it all in.. Find someone to talk to about it.

Take sometime away for yourself and remember that person the way they used to be and not how they are now...

You will be in my Thought's & Prayer's

PFDAN to YOU !!!

Charlie
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by lionsound on Aug 3rd, 2005, 7:26am
[smiley=hug.gif]
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by thomas on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:06am

on 08/03/05 at 06:19:37, rickyshot wrote:
I assume someone passed away.

No, not yet.
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by aprilbee on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:14am

on 08/03/05 at 08:06:19, thomas wrote:
No, not yet.


:'( Gosh Thomas...Hang in there okay??  :-*
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by deltadarlin on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:17am
Thomas,
Don't know if this will help, but it helped me when I buried my mama (had it read at her funeral).  Just remember, give yourself time to grieve and don't let idiots tell you how you should feel (*that* I dealt with because I didn't follow the *norm* on grieving).

On Death
Kahlil Gibran

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.


In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?


For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?


Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by seasonalboomer on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:19am
Thomas,

Sorry to hear that. My best friend, college roommate, lifelong buddy passed several years ago from ALS. His spirit still rides along with me along the journey and his life and fight continues to inspire me in times of need. Had a similar weekend where it was pretty clear that it would be the last time I saw him. It's heartbreaking.

What I didn't get to say on that weekend I followed up with in a "what you mean to me" letter, extolling the love I felt for him and how and why he is important to me in my life and so many others. I hesitated for a time in sending the letter as it seemed morbid, but finally realized that his knowing of the love that surrounds him from so many had to be better than the uncomfortable nature of the situation. Get it out any way you can but never let that spirit go. As long as you're feeling it, you know your heart is there and that IS important too.

Scott
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by thomas on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:37am
Nice poem 'darlin, got me crying again this morning.  Scott that is some very good advice, that I will take to heart (the letter)
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Peppermint on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:57am
Thomas...  :-/
I don't know what to say, but I think somebody in this universe was looking out for you.... you found a life partner who will be with you during this difficult time and to rejoice with you in the better days to come.  

It's hard to know what's coming, take it one day at a time.

Anything you need, just say the word,

Lots of love,
Patty
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 3rd, 2005, 9:16am
[smiley=hug.gif]

Never forget the people you love the most and they will always be with you in your heart and in your memories.
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by sandie99 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 1:55pm
Thomas,

I'm so sorry... :(

I know that being in your situation is difficult.  [smiley=hug.gif]
Losing important people is hard. And it's even harder when we realise that it's about to happen and there isn'r much we can do about it. :(

Based on what you wrote, I can tell that it has been a blessing to know her. Don't worry, she will always be part of you, no matter what. No one can ever take away the times you shared nor the memories you have of her.

[smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]

Wishing you strength,
Sanna  
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by BlueMeanie on Aug 3rd, 2005, 5:47pm
Sorry to hear the bad news Thomas. All I can say is remember all the good times you had together. I'm sure this special person will remember you as a very special person too.

Bob
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by The_CH-Angels on Aug 3rd, 2005, 6:58pm
With my wounds still fresh I say to you... Be good to yourself.  What I have learned in my recent grief over the loss of my precious Dad, is that grief is different for each of us.  Don't let anyone tell you how you should feel.  Just feel.  Don't try to be strong.  Don't feel your not acting properly, just be human and feel.  You're helping me more than you know by saying you don't know what to do.  You are acting normal.  You are in transition during a time when you cannot take control.  This is the one thing that no one can change.   I love you my brother.  Know I am thinking about you.  God bless that warm strong woman of which you speak she has raised a wonderful man.  My pleasure to know you.  Be well and know.  I know how you feel.  love ree
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Ree on Aug 3rd, 2005, 11:49pm
oooooops.... thats my alter ego persona.... sorry... I was gonna change it but everyone knows that Im the Ch-angel person too. Just being sure that you knew that post was from me.... love ree
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by LeLimey on Aug 4th, 2005, 4:26am
Thomas, She is never not with you even though you don't see her every day now. That isn't going to change.
As long as we keep the people we love alive in our hearts they never die.
I hope you made a few more happy memories to add to your collection this past weekend.
lots and lots of love
Helen
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Jonny on Aug 4th, 2005, 4:17pm
A little "Pick me up" for you, Thomas.

Crank the sound ;;D

http://www.consumptionjunction.com/downloadsnew/cj_47472.wmv
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by thomas on Aug 4th, 2005, 7:29pm
FUCKENEH!!!!!!!!!!  Mah Brotha!!!!!  [smiley=headbanger.gif]  That is some real man shit right there.   ;;D
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Jonny on Aug 4th, 2005, 7:42pm

on 08/04/05 at 19:29:15, thomas wrote:
 That is some real man shit right there.


Thats you!
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by thomas on Aug 4th, 2005, 8:45pm

on 08/04/05 at 19:42:26, Jonny wrote:
Thats you!

Damn straight.  That's why I said it was some real man shit, brother. ;;D
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by TxBasslady on Aug 5th, 2005, 12:23am
You don't know what to do.....and I don't know what to say to make it better...

I want you to know...what a blessing you are to me.   You have been, from the first time we met in Davenport, 2004.

You have a heart as big as Texas....and you always give above and beyond what's needed.

Please don't be sad....when life ends for someone you love, try and see it as a celebration of their life.    I know that is easy for me to say.....and believe me, I didn't look at it this way when I lost my Dad...or my Mom.    Somedays, I still don't....but I know it's the right thing.

I want you to know how very much I love you.   And...remember....."God only takes the best."

Jean
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by lady_bug on Aug 5th, 2005, 5:36pm
Thomas, I don't know you personally, but your story touched me and I want you to know you will be in my thoughts.

Take Care,
Sandra
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Jill on Aug 5th, 2005, 6:55pm
Hey Thomas,

I wanted to share this poem with you....

I lost my dad two years ago and though the pain will never go away, it eases at time goes by. The memories I have will remain with me always and I am learning that he is always with me...  that is important to remember..

At my dad's service I read a quote that said that there arent mearly stars in the sky but rather holes in heaven so that our loved ones can look down on us - so everytime you see the stars, you know that she is looking down at you and sending you her love.

Now the poem is called "Miss Me but Let Me Go" and I am not sure who it is by... it helped me alot...

When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little -- but not too long.
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared --
Miss me -- but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take.
And each of us goes alone.
When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrow in doing good deeds!
Miss me -- but let me go.


You are in my thoughts and prayers...

Jill
Title: Re: Don't know what to do.
Post by Cerberus on Aug 5th, 2005, 11:27pm
Peace to you Bro... sooner than later I hope.

Our Best,
Ramon


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