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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Got to love George Carlin
        
(Message started by: ghost62 on Jul 29^th, 2005, 10:22am)

Title: Got to love George Carlin
Post by ghost62 on Jul 29^th, 2005, 10:22am

COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked her calves to their stalls, but they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country! Maybe we should give them all a cow.

CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse? You cannot post "Thou Shall Not Steal," "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment!

And Last but not least..... George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart.

"Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars!
O.J. Simpson is still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and haul her ass off to jail."

Title: Re: Got to love George Carlin
Post by rickyshot on Jul 29^th, 2005, 5:48pm

HAHAHAH I love george carlin too.

Title: Re: Got to love George Carlin
Post by Charlie on Jul 29^th, 2005, 6:07pm

Thanks. I love George Carlin too. My kinda guy. http://forums.offtopic.com/images/smilies/hsdance.gif?SSImageQuality=Full

He really tears into religion, especially people who tell us that they speak for Jesus. Somehow God, is the ruler of the uninverse but he just can't handle money. He always needs money.

The rest of the Ten Commandments story is that he thinks that we need only four commandments. Most of them are redundant. It is a funny bit.

I really love what he does with advertising. Hilarious. I've seen most of his HBO programs. It's one of the better reasons to subscribe. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/cheesyrotfm.gif

Charlie

Title: Re: Got to love George Carlin
Post by yikes-another-one on Jul 30^th, 2005, 10:21am

:)
Remember the Airplane speech?

"How can the stewardess 'WELCOME' me to a city?
wasn't she traveling with us?"

"Yeah, like i wanna use a seat cushion
as a floatatin device...who knows how many farts
are trapped in it, and I gotta hug it to stay a float?"

"Please look around your area for any personal
belongings you may have brought on board"

Where do you start with that sentence?
It's not like we took public belongings....like a water
fountain or bench with us on the plane.
Also I "MIGHT" have brought my kitchen sink,
But I didn't, so i ain't gonna look for it.

Hahahahahaaha

He does crack me up.

Just like Gallagher.

"English language makes no sense"
Take these two words.... do and go.
I mean 2 letters, they should rhyme.
so tell me is it goo and do
or go and doe?

Pick one and stay with it.

Comb, tomb Food and good

no wonder we write right....it makes no snese.

"I knew that learnign to read and werite was gonna bedifficult. My first day of school the teacher wrote the word BIG on the board. I raised my hand and said, "That can't be the wrod big. It's too little"
and the teacher said, "NO, this is little."
She wrote something on the board that was twice as big as the word big. Shoulda have given up right then."

hahahahahahaha

Title: Re: Got to love George Carlin
Post by vig on Jul 30^th, 2005, 10:33am

and while we're getting off the plane, don't forget:

"Please return your stewardess to her original, upright position..."

-George Carlin

;;D

Title: Re: Got to love George Carlin
Post by pattik on Jul 30^th, 2005, 11:10am

....and you gotta love the hippy-dippy weatherman [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Got to love George Carlin
Post by alienspacebabe on Jul 30^th, 2005, 1:57pm

on 07/30/05 at 10:21:04, yikes-another-one wrote:

:)
Also I "MIGHT" have brought my kitchen sink,
But I didn't, so i ain't gonna look for it.

Laughed so hard .... OMG

Title: Re: Got to love George Carlin
Post by ccbiggsoo7 on Aug 2^nd, 2005, 10:36pm

seen him in vegas last month,it was awesome. "A word you don't hear enough of anymore," girl thingyFARTS ! Then goes into detail.

Title: Re: Got to love George Carlin
Post by forgetfulnot on Aug 3^rd, 2005, 12:02am

For a great bathroom reader, his las book " When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops"

$23.95 US

Lee

Title: Re: Got to love George Carlin
Post by BlueMeanie on Aug 4^th, 2005, 5:09pm

I read this thread a couple days ago. Thought I'd bring it back to the top to say:

I GOT MY TICKETS TODAY !!

He happens to be doing a show here so I'm going to see ol' George next month. I think the only time I'll laugh as much as when I'm with you all. [smiley=laugh.gif]