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Title: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 27th, 2005, 2:32pm Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why! do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those " DNA things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. Women will never be equal to men because they don't get clusters. But they sure are pretty to look at! Word Up! ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Langa on Jul 27th, 2005, 2:34pm Jimi, you suck... Love ya. Langa |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Kirk on Jul 27th, 2005, 2:59pm How right you are. [smiley=smartass2.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jul 27th, 2005, 3:06pm on 07/27/05 at 14:32:38, Jimi wrote:
;;D I've gotta print these up and hang them on my fridge. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 27th, 2005, 3:29pm I was wondering when someone was going to have the guts to stick up for us men. The Women here are always beatin' us down. Sorry my mistake..., that actually happens when I go home each night. Just got confused for a second there. In any case I would never have posted this - the fact that women can hold a grudge longer than men can remember why they're holding it makes for a dangerous situation. [smiley=laugh.gif] Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 27th, 2005, 3:30pm Now those are sooooooo true and well stated [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Im dyin ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by BarbaraD on Jul 27th, 2005, 3:35pm So tell me Jimi -- how long are you sleeping on the couch THIS time????? Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 27th, 2005, 4:50pm LMAO, Jimi! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 27th, 2005, 4:54pm on 07/27/05 at 15:29:14, burnt-toast wrote:
CURRENT SHIT LIST Jimi Frank Kirk Frank Pat Frank Tom Frank Ghost Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank...etc...etc...etc... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 27th, 2005, 4:54pm Well Barb, that isn't as bad as some friends of mine that were arguing on what car to buy. The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new pickup truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like Saab car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. "Look!" she said. I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. "And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me." For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale. Services are pending at All Souls Funeral Home. Wimmens have no sense of humor. ;;D -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 27th, 2005, 5:00pm Phew!! Good thing I'm not on Helen's shit list!! What a relief! [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=hewey.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Jul 27th, 2005, 5:14pm Jimi - it's a good thing yer cute! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by vig on Jul 27th, 2005, 5:18pm Hey! why isn't MY name on Helen's shiznit list? not fair! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 27th, 2005, 5:27pm UPDATED CURRENT SHIT LIST Jimi Frank Kirk Frank Pat Frank Tom Frank Ghost Frank VIG Frank Frank Frank Frank...etc...etc...etc... Happy now Vig?!! Make the most if it!! You won't be for long LOL |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 27th, 2005, 5:38pm on 07/27/05 at 17:27:48, LeLimey wrote:
Look ma I made the list ;;D ;;D ;;D ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Jul 27th, 2005, 5:42pm For all my sisters... Jimi...you are in for it now! Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers? A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work. Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung? A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. Q. How do men exercise on the beach? A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? A. Make him wear shoes. Q. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A. Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals." Q. How does a man show he's planning for the future? A. He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Q. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? A. All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? A. Any place without a drive-up window. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? A. Trustworthy. Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis? A. His body. Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A. A power failure. Q. What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. Q. What do men and mascara have in common? A. They both run at the first sign of emotion. Q. What do men and pantyhose have in common? A. They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! Q. What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? A. His wife is good at picking out clothes. Q. What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? A. Sex. Q. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? A. Telling you his real name. Q. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes. Q. What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? A. Big Foot's been spotted a several times. Q. What's the smartest thing a man can say? A. "My wife says..." Q. Why can't men get mad cow disease? A. Because they're all pigs. Q. Why do men like smart women? A. Opposites attract. Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions. Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. Q. Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? A. Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow. Q. When do you care for a man's company? A. When he owns it. Q. What do men and sperm have in common? A. They both have one in a million chance of becoming a human being. ;;D DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 27th, 2005, 5:43pm (Damn, but this couch sure is comfy!! Why, this is just like camping! HAR HAR!) Jimi, don't hog the covers. [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 27th, 2005, 5:48pm HIGH FIVE DD!!! Way to go sis!! LMAO [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ClusterChuck on Jul 27th, 2005, 6:04pm on 07/27/05 at 17:27:48, LeLimey wrote:
Whew!!! Not on the list!! First shit list I have NOT been at the top of!!! I must have been VERY good to Helen!!! BTW, When God was creating the heavens and earth, He created man. He was so impressed with His creation, He decided to create another being, but make it different. He was so disappointed and disgusted with His second attempt, He realized He created perfection the first time around, and never tried to change it again. That is why there are only TWO sexes. Chuck |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Jul 27th, 2005, 6:18pm Hmmm..that's interesting, Chuck. I heard it went a little something like this.... One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God. "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you created me and all of this beautiful garden and all of these amazing animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples." "Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a man, Lord?" "Man will be a flawed creature, with many wreteched traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But... he'll be bigger, stronger, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll make him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly." "Sounds wonderful!" says Eve, " but what's the catch, Lord?" Well... you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret... You know, woman to woman." ;;D DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 27th, 2005, 6:21pm In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. They shure ar purty tho... ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Jul 27th, 2005, 6:24pm on 07/27/05 at 18:21:08, Jimi wrote:
I don't think any amount of sucking up will get you off Helen's list [smiley=laugh.gif] DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Jul 27th, 2005, 6:38pm In all the world I can have all the women I please. I just don't please any. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by alienspacebabe on Jul 27th, 2005, 7:12pm on 07/27/05 at 17:42:00, Donna_D. wrote:
Good God! These two had me laughing hysterically.... and I will not admit to finding any of the previous women-bashing Q&As funny.... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 27th, 2005, 10:19pm Nice going Jimi - I knew this post was trouble the minute I laid eyes on it. It'll take weeks for all the cluckin to die down. Get a gander at all that unjustified stuff from DD? And the support she got from others - I'm gonna' need therapy now! We men have feelings to ya' know. [smiley=bigcry.gif] If one side ever really wins this battle, just think of all the fun we would miss out on. ;;D Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by BlueMeanie on Jul 27th, 2005, 10:30pm LMAO Jimi. [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by blossom on Jul 27th, 2005, 11:40pm humph..... >:( |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 27th, 2005, 11:40pm Hey Jimi..... come here..... [smiley=bash.gif] You just wait until Ruthie and I get together again, pal...you just wait.... Oh and you suck. :-* hugs, nani |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Jul 27th, 2005, 11:56pm on 07/27/05 at 22:19:59, burnt-toast wrote:
All the support she got from people who can't operate a toilet seat. Ladies, look before you leak. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jasmyn on Jul 28th, 2005, 2:05am DD you're a STAR! [smiley=sayyes.gif] Mr Aussie man, that must be all that you can operate [smiley=looser.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Jul 28th, 2005, 8:34am Nothing is more satisfying than being woke up at 2 am by an irate woman because she fell in the toilet. Man I hope the wife doesn't read this. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 28th, 2005, 8:41am on 07/28/05 at 08:34:16, giffy76 wrote:
Mari came back to bed once, and I was sound asleep. Until she slapped the hell outta' me! Sorry, babe.... :o [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 28th, 2005, 8:46am on 07/28/05 at 08:34:16, giffy76 wrote:
I have a son, these things are always his fault. I knew there was a reason I let him stick around. [smiley=laugh.gif] Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Jul 28th, 2005, 8:57am Deep down it's funny. What's even better than that is when I leave the seat up and the dog drinks out of the toilet and then gives the wife a big sloppy lick. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 28th, 2005, 9:04am Ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! ROFLMAO!! That's twisted, disgusting, demented, and horrible. (I can't wait to try it!) LMAO! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 28th, 2005, 9:09am on 07/27/05 at 18:04:45, ClusterChuck wrote:
Chuck you bloody big mouth.. I thought that was going to stay our secret?! (Pssst.. I'll ALWAYS remember Dallas ;) PHWOARRRRR!) on 07/27/05 at 18:24:17, Donna_D. wrote:
Damn right DD, ole Jimi better watch out!! LOL |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sandie99 on Jul 28th, 2005, 9:11am Donna.... [smiley=sayyes.gif] [smiley=thumb.gif] My Cluster Sisters rock... ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 28th, 2005, 10:18am As I've been reading and re-reading these post I've had this nagging feeling of pending doom. I couldn't quite put a finger on it but something kept telling me there was reason for fear. And then it hit me..... on 07/27/05 at 18:24:17, Donna_D. wrote:
A list! They've started a list! The ultimate secret weapon of women everywhere. A List! No man can survive A List! Oh, this is trouble! What have we gotten ourselves into? :'( ;) Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 28th, 2005, 10:30am on 07/27/05 at 16:54:15, LeLimey wrote:
This was reply number EIGHT Tom..How did you miss your name on it?!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 28th, 2005, 10:32am "Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!!" ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 10:34am COOL IM BELOW TOM oh wait that may not be a good thing [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] ;;D ;;D ;;D ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by vig on Jul 28th, 2005, 10:36am Hey Tom, you bumped me from the shitlist... who do I have to bribe to stay on that thing? ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 10:42am http://www.networkworld.com/media/blondestar2004.mp3 well ladies here is a transplant from another thread typical woman ... ;;D ;;D ;;D this should move me up the list |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 28th, 2005, 10:51am Vig you weren't bumped.. that was the original shitlist.. you are still on it!!! don't "worry"... LOL |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 11:21am ok woman how can I get pushed up on the list? oh wait I know, no I better not, well maybe, no can't do that, oh here how about this, no that wouldnt work either, but, if I no that is way to harsh [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 28th, 2005, 11:43am on 07/28/05 at 10:30:27, LeLimey wrote:
My names on The List?????? Wha? I just jumped over to Frank's Men/Women Translations over on Funnies and Jokes to decipher your message. "This was reply number EIGHT Tom..How did you miss your name on it?!! = How does this schmuck know so much about us? Women everywhere - we're gonna have to make this one pay! No doubt my wife has already received her copy of the attack plans. In my defense. My replies have all been fearfully sympathetic and supportive of Women everywhere. (I was raised with 5 sisters - I know your power). I have consistently attempted to hightlight the folly of men who post such information. I am only attempting to retain balance in the universe. Quitely frankly (it's mostly his fault anyway) I'm shocked that my efforts at achieving this balance could be so misconstrued. Is it too late to apologize? Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 12:03pm Now that should move me up the list [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 12:14pm and if that didnt work maybe this will http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=11844 |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 28th, 2005, 12:35pm A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," he responded. "Oh. Killing any?" she asked. "Yep; 3 males, 2 females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone." |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Langa on Jul 28th, 2005, 1:27pm Good one Frank! [smiley=laugh.gif] Langa |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:24pm Cant let a ch babe get the last word can we? now that should move me up the list ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:25pm it sure did, Ghost. Now you're on MINE, too. :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:27pm on 07/28/05 at 15:25:24, Margi wrote:
Well with any luck i'll have made all the lists by the end of today .... and once again "Cant let a ch babe get the last word can we?" ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:30pm you're trying to get the last word in? Yeah, um... good luck with that, huh? |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:38pm Not me I would never try anything like that ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:43pm on 07/28/05 at 15:38:05, ghost62 wrote:
Anything like what? [smiley=tongue2.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:44pm LOL well here you go then, Ghost - I'll give you that opportunity. Go for it. Take your best shot. Do it. You know you wanna. This opportunity may never be yours again. Don't forget to say thank you. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by tpitts77 on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:49pm Question: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Answer: Nothing you have already told her twice. Just Kdding!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:49pm on 07/28/05 at 15:44:06, Margi wrote:
God I love when women give those kind of offers ... sweating profusily now ...panting heavily,,, about to pass out //// fingers not working very well not ............ need oxygen ,,,..,,..,,.. nneedd ;;D :o :o ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 28th, 2005, 3:56pm So many battered women, and I'm still eating mine plain... *sigh* |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:00pm http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/nani36/plantaman.gif |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by clarence on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:09pm ghost - those files you posted were hilarious. Though, the second one was just plain wrong and painful to watch. Casey |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:15pm yeah, nice try Casey. I'm bettin a woman will still get the last word in the thread. Why, look what happened to poor Ghost when he was given the opportunity to end it for the men, once and for all. He just melted away into a puddle, poor guy. It's best to come to a battle if you're armed. When it's a man/woman battle of wits....sadly, the men just don't have the weaponry. :) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:21pm on 07/28/05 at 16:15:15, Margi wrote:
THAT WAS CHEATING GUYS DONT DO WELL WHEN OFFERED UP ALL THOSE INUENDOS ... hey guys do you think the chbabes will know what cant understand normal thinking means? see I can say that because they are so slow they wont catch it without help for days .... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:22pm Geez, what the heck did I start!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:23pm on 07/28/05 at 16:09:27, clarence wrote:
I agree. That boy is going to need some serious therapy, and maybe his mother, too. Dayum!! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:24pm you heard about the two women sitting on the front porch looking up at the moon when one said to the other which do you think is farther the moon of florida and the other replied duh you cant see florida from here can you? ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Langa on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:25pm on 07/28/05 at 16:15:15, Margi wrote:
Well said Margi... ;;D What's this all about a last word fellas...? [smiley=smartass2.gif] Langa |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:27pm Not a chance lasanga, or was it langaroo ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:28pm Burgaflickle. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Langa on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:29pm on 07/28/05 at 16:27:26, ghost62 wrote:
Stop the press! Assfunk! 8) Langa |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:30pm hey I resemble that remark ;) ;) ;) ;;D ;;D ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] good try though oh by the way I MADE ANOTHER LIST |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Langa on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:33pm http://bestsmileys.com/signs11/8.gif |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:36pm on 07/28/05 at 16:33:49, Langa wrote:
Ok ladies show us your lists or is that to hard well we do need a new update for Lelimeys ;;D ;;D ;;D now if you want you can show us more to but we dont want you to over tax yourselves ...... [smiley=bigguns.gif] [smiley=bigguns.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:39pm on 07/28/05 at 16:36:45, ghost62 wrote:
no. it's not too hard, Ghost. But it's more fun keeping our lists to ourselves and just watching you boys sweat it out. Gettin my jammies and my popcorn. Go Langa! Over to you, sista |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:39pm A few more for my sisters... Survey Says... Ask any man, and he will tell you that any woman's ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once. While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning. The Perfect Man After careful consideration and endless debate the perfect man has finally been named: MR. POTATO HEAD! He's tan. He's cute. He knows the importance of accessorizing. And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face. Two new additions to periodic table of elements: Element name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic weight: (don't even go there) Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180+/-50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possible good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. ;;D DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:40pm on 07/28/05 at 16:39:01, Margi wrote:
Need any help with the jammies ;) ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by broomhilda on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:41pm LMFAO Donna, thanks :-* Touchee [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:48pm LMAO, Donna! Good one! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:49pm Hey donna that was correct espicially the woman part ... the guy part relativly accurate but dont forget without the man part of the formula the woman part would be rendered useless except for as a food source Quote:
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Langa on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:49pm on 07/28/05 at 16:40:49, ghost62 wrote:
You couldn't handle her jammies... Go watch cartoons lil boy... Langa ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:51pm on 07/28/05 at 16:49:37, Langa wrote:
who sd handle them ;;D ;;D ;;D I sd help with them, we could share I guess [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:53pm Man this is fun I need this kind of break thanks Ladies. :P :P :P Quote:
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:54pm psst....DD... ya missed a couple.... Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones. Why do men like smart women? Because opposites attract. nice Jack Nicholson impression there, Langa. I heard it. ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 28th, 2005, 4:59pm See, I leave for just a short time and the whole universe goes out of wack again. I try... And I try... to keep balance around here but no one else is cooperating. Oh No, I'm sounding just like a woman in this post....... I told you guys that women controlled dark forces in the universe - see what we've done! Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:00pm on 07/28/05 at 16:54:23, Margi wrote:
there I fixed it ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:02pm wow, are you ever on the ball today, Frank! :o Why, that ... what was it?.....burgaflickle - well, that was just one of your best! And now THIS?? Holy. I'm freakin impressed, man. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:05pm ;;Dwell are we gonna get those lists or not? ;;D ;;D ;;D I am hoping for top billing on at least 1 ;;D ;;D ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:07pm what's it worth to ya, Ghostie? |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:11pm still waitin to share someones jammies chbabe jammies that is ;) ;) ;) ;;D ;;D ;;D So everyone knows just to clarify and no one gets really upset chbabe is a very good thing they are all darlings and I LOVE them ALL they help me make it during these bad times ... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:13pm Good thing you qualified that you want chbabe jammies. Because I think I saw Don starting to head your way. His jammies have feet in 'em. And a drop seat. it's actually quite a good look for him. But now that you've put that qualifier in there, he's totally crushed, poor guy. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:17pm had a feeling someone was going to go there .... grew up with 7 yes 7 sisters and you girls are alot more understanding and caring than most of them oooohhh wait I need on the lists not off ... :P :P :P :P :P :P Need chbabe jammies I think they will bring out the greem in my eyes and the the blue in my ba11s |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:19pm the GREEM in your eyes? yikes. Is that treatable? GREEM? Is that a Texan thang? I ain't gonna ask about the blue. :-X |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:23pm ok GREEN AND THE BLUE WELL WHAT CAN I SAY... [smiley=JAW_DROP.gif] [smiley=bag.gif] [smiley=biggrin.gif] [smiley=bigguns.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] Quote:
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:26pm LMAO, well...um.....ok I have no comeback whatsoever. But, take heart - I think Don still wants ya. ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:27pm In regards to this thread in particular.... Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are the do-it-yourself types. ;;D DD And in case you need more ammo, ladies.... Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. ~~~~~ Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. ~~~~~ Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart. ~~~~~ Mental Anxiety Menopause Mental Breakdown Ever noticed that all problems start with men? ~~~~~ See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. -- Robin Williams ~~~~~ Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. ~~~~~ Best way to get a man to do something: Suggest they are too old for it. ~~~~~ If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. ~~~~~ The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. ~~~~~ If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks. ~~~~~ Sadly, all men are created equal. ~~~~~~~~~~ 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? ~~~~~~~~ FOR DON ~~~~~~~~ Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date! ~~~~~~~~~ All men are animals. Some just make better pets. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 28th, 2005, 5:57pm first of all [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=spit.gif] now its on sweet thang rules for the mans side 1. Learn to work a toilet seat. Your'e a big girl. If it is up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.You dont hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. Its like the full moon, or the changing of the tide, let it be. 1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints DO NOT WORK! strong hints DO NOT WORK! obvious hints DO NOT WORK! Just say it! 1. yes and no are perfectly good answeres to most questions. 1. come to us with a problemonly if you want help solving it. thats what we do. sympathy is what your girl friends are for. 1. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. see a doctor. I know the ladies here dont need this one but oh well. 1. anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an arguement. in fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you wont dress like victoria seceret girls dont expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. if something can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry we meant the other one. 1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us howyou want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible please say what you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in 16 colors like windows default settings. peach for example is a fruit not a color. pumpkin also a fruit. we have no idea what mauve is. more tomorrow |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:01pm Ghost.. if I'd wanted to listen to an arsehole I'd have farted. :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:08pm on 07/28/05 at 17:27:16, Donna_D. wrote:
Wow - I'm impressed, you're very good. You show definite potential to become leader of a women's movement. But I gotta' believe that even you couldn't get all of ya' to aggee on what color to wear for the takeover. Five minutes and the whole thing would break down into total chaos. ;) Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:13pm Tom it doesn't matter WHAT colour it is.. as long as your blood stains will wash out at low temperatures sweetie!! :-* love ya lots!! Helen |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by BobG on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:15pm I'm not going to reply this thread because my wife said I couldn't. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:19pm Good boy, Bob. Renon will be proud. :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:22pm Hey Bob I knew you were the most sensible bloke here!! LOL.. right alongside my hubby that is! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:26pm Wait a minute! Women fart? Nobody ever told me that. I'm pretty sure they don't down here in the south. [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=moon.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:28pm I can assure you Jimi that, unlike men women ONLY fart in the south... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by lady_bug on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:40pm Jimi...you better be nice or we won't let you be our "Cabana Boy" anymore!! BTW...way to strike back Donna!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by alienspacebabe on Jul 28th, 2005, 6:43pm on 07/28/05 at 18:13:06, LeLimey wrote:
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Jul 28th, 2005, 7:03pm on 07/28/05 at 18:26:11, Jimi wrote:
We don't...we just have small pets that do. And we DO know how to solve the problem with men that do.... Don't fart in front of your wife..... A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night. He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE. ;;D DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 28th, 2005, 8:26pm on 07/28/05 at 18:13:06, LeLimey wrote:
[smiley=blush.gif] Back at ya' Helen. Thanks for being here. :-*. I can't say enough about how much this place has helped me. One thing though - right now my bloods so thin from the meds. it probably wouldn't even leave a stain. ;;D Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Woobie on Jul 29th, 2005, 1:25am This thread has been very entertaining........LOL Q: Why do men become smarter during sex? A: Because they are plugged into a genius. Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay? A: They don't have time. Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg? A: They won't stop for directions. Q: Why did God put men on earth? A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. Q: Why don't women have men's brains? A: Because they don't have penises to put them in. Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? A: Because their balls fall over their not a very nice persons and they vapor lock. Q: Why do men masturbate? A: It's sex with someone they love. Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. Q: Why did God make men before women? A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy. Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white? A: So he can tell if he is coming or going. Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down? A: Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet. Q: What is the thinnest book in the world? A: What men know about women. Q: How does a man take a bubble bath? A: He eats beans for dinner. Q: What's a man's idea of foreplay? A: A half hour of begging. Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused? A: He's breathing Q: What's the difference between men and government bonds? A: Government bonds mature. Q: How do you save a man from drowning? A: Take your foot off of his head. Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common? A: They are both empty from the head up. Q: How can you tell if a man is happy? A: Who cares? Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: We don't know. It's never happened. Q: How are men and parking spots alike? A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped. Q: What is a man's idea of helping out with housework? A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Woobie on Jul 29th, 2005, 1:30am "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "That's interesting, dear." Really means...."Are you still talking?" "It's a really good movie." Really means...."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women." "That's women's work." Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless." "You know how bad my memory is." Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." Really means.... "...And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "I can't find it." Really means.... "It didn't fall right into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." "What did I do this time?" Really means.... "What did you catch me at?" [smiley=laugh.gif] "I heard you." Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." "You know I could never love anyone else." Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." "You look terrific." Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving." "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again." "We share the housework." Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up." Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male 10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 9. A better model is always just around the corner. 8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home. 7. It is always necessary to have a backup. 6. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons. 5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play. 4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 3. The lights are on but nobody's home. 2. Big power surges knock them out for the night. 1. Size does matter. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Jul 29th, 2005, 6:52am The problem with todays society is running rampent in this thread. The hens are in an uproar, clucking about how we men are useless, what they need to be doing is baking some pies and makin us men some samiches. I think I'm in trouble now. Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 8:30am on 07/28/05 at 17:57:14, ghost62 wrote:
and as paul harvey would say and now the rest of the list. 1. if it itches it will be scratched. we do that. 1. if we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, we will act like nothing's wrong. we know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. if you ask a question you dont want an answer to, expect an answer you dont want to hear. 1. when we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ... Really. 1. Dont ask us what we are thinking about unless you are ready to discuss such topics as Baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks(jeeps too). 1. you have enough clothes. 1. you have to many shoes. 1. I am in shape round is a shape. 1. I have the body of a god, Budda. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really dont mind that? It's like camping. 1. These are our rules and they are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jul 29th, 2005, 8:30am Subject: Good Advice It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there is nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Paul - Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Sue. When I was laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement" in April, it became necessary for Sue to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the Golf Course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I usually have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so when I hit that door, I'm ready for some home cooked grub. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening, that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it seems to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. I consider telling people what they ought to do is one of my strong points. Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more quickly. Since our washer and dryer are in the basement, sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue of this; as she finishes up the laundry the next evening, I'm willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club, or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points also. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then take her break by my hammock. I know that I probably look like a Saint in the way I support Sue. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do, how frustrated women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other. Paul EDITOR'S NOTE: Paul died suddenly Thursday, Jan. 3. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver rammed up his rectum with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife, Sue, was arrested, but the Grand Jury (made up of mostly women because the men are so busy) accepted her defense that he accidentally sat on it and she was released on Friday. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 8:41am OMG!! :o [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 29th, 2005, 8:59am Borrowed from the Funnies board. (thanks Jolene) New evening classes for men! All are welcome. Open to men only! Classes starting this month. Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays? Step by step with slide presentation. Topic 2. Toilet paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table discussion. Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics. Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video. Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline and support groups. Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum. Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape. Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials. Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation. Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and role playing. Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques. Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered. Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued. Register now! Contact your the nearest Society of Typical Men (STM) How do you get a man on the roof? Tell him the beers on the house. Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A. A dog is always happy to see you B. A dog only takes a couple of months to train What did God say after creating man? I can do better. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed. How do men sort their laundry? "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable". Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to leave, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to name that person, until the woman held a very touching speech. She said that she will voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she is used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands....... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 9:51am [quote author=nani link=board=general;num=1122489159;start=100#115 date=07/29/05 at 08:59:29]Borrowed from the Funnies board. (thanks Jolene) Response borrowed from the Funnies board. These lame male cult deprogramming classes are not going to help. Being a man is already imbedded into minds by the Man Courses that we are required to pass before our 10th birthdays. These are listed below your deprogramming topics. Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays? Step by step with slide presentation. Man Course: Usefulness of Kitchen appliances Basic: Allowing women to have responsibility for something that helps them feel important and useful Advanced: Helping women establish basic concepts of right and left, hot and cold (blue and red), open, and closed. Topic 2. Toilet paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table discussion. Man Course: TP Basic: Women use three times a much as men - make them replace the roll Advanced: Controlling ones temper when unclogging drains/acknowledging the female’s unnatural obsession for “clean” Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics. Man Course: Laundry Basic: Scatter effectively – it makes it easier for women to sort Advanced: 6 effective ways to insure she doesn’t ask you do women’s work again Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video. Man Course: Utensil management Basic: Strategic placement of utensils for future re-use Advanced: Avoiding loss of strategically placed utensils when women exercise their unnatural obsession for “clean” Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline and support groups. Man course: Remote Control Management Basic: Lose control of your remote and women will find work for you to do Advanced: “Keep away” and how this avoids repetitiously explaining how remotes function to women Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum. Man Course: Retain your stuff Basic: How to find everything of yours that your woman has hidden over the past month without arousing suspicions. Advanced: How to break few of her things to make space for something useful without arousing suspicions. Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape. Man Course: Dangers of Flowers Basic: Bringing her flowers and losing spare time Advanced I: Coping with hours of meaningless babble if at a weak moment you bring her flowers for no reason. Advanced II: How to use flowers to get what you want without her realizing you’re up to something Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials. Man Course: Driving Defensively Basic: How to effectively appear lost when you know exactly where you are Advanced I: Smiling inside at the frustration this causes in women/avoiding the disaster of getting caught smiling on the outside Advanced II: How to realistically avoid stopping for directions/reduce time spent at meaningless affairs women drag you to Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation. Man Course: WTF Basic: Being present while women parallel park and not making matters worse by offering to do it yourself out of frustration. Advanced: Stomach ulcers and nervous disorders associated with women parallel parking Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and role playing. Man Course: Self Preservation Only Course: Causing tension between women of varying age groups to keep them from combining forces Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques. Man Course: Men Hunt, Women Gather Basic: Dealing with the lack of challenge when everything in the store is already dead Advanced I: Making women feel important by giving them something they can actually do without a man’s help. Advanced II: How to get past the “everything’s already dead” mindset in stores selling sporting goods, tool, auto parts and other exciting items without losing your integrity. Topic 12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered. Man Course: Preserving core storage for important things Basic: How to destroy all memory of time sensitive information/why she really doesn’t want to be reminded about the passage of time Advanced: Understanding how complaining and acting upset helps women cope with the aging process. Upon completion of the course, diplomas will be issued. Register now! Contact your the nearest Society of Typical Men (STM) We receive diploma’s of ragged heavily stained undergarments that we are permitted to copy as needed. You’ll never take em’ from us. [smiley=tongue2.gif] Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 29th, 2005, 9:53am Nice try, Tom (LMAO) but you guys are NOT gonna have the last word. [smiley=tongue2.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 9:55am on 07/28/05 at 18:15:53, BobG wrote:
I think some of these boys need to pay attention to BobG's post here. He's a very smart man. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Jul 29th, 2005, 9:58am ROTFLMAO, Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:00am Very true, Margi. :) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:06am :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P Never give up ;) ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:12am we can go all day, man. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:19am ;;D on 07/29/05 at 10:12:37, Margi wrote:
promises, promises ;) ;;D ;;D ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:23am on 07/29/05 at 10:19:25, ghost62 wrote:
oh, silly boy. You'll live to regret this one. LOL |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:31am Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. "My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf." The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. "My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf." Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf. "With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!" |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:37am ROTFLMAO Ghost that was BRILLIANT!!! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:46am Two guys are sitting at a bar talking and one guy asks the other guy, "Man, do you ever have a Freudian slip?" "What are you talking about?" says the other guy. "Well I was at the airport the other day and one of the clerks had really big tits, and I meant to say, 'Could I have two tickets to Pittsburgh,' but I accidentally said, 'Could I have have two tickets to Titsburgh." The other guy says, "Oh yeah! I know what you're talking about! I was sitting at the dinner table with my wife the other day and I meant to say, 'Could you pass the salt please,' but instead I said, 'Bitch you ruined my life!" ;;D Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with my wife. I love my wife and my life with her. Yesterday was our 15th anniversary. I just thought it was a funny joke. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:48am aw jeez, Eye, good old Ghost almost pulled this one outta the dumper for you guys. But then you had to go and just slam-dunker 'er back in there! love your disclaimer though. LOL bok bok bok (the sound a chicken makes) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:52am Congrats and happy 15th anniversary, Pat! Little Red Riding Hood was skipping through the forest on the way to Grandma's house, when the Big Bad Wolf jumps out from behind a tree, and growls, "I'm going to screw your eyes out!" Little Red Riding Hood stamps her foot and says, "No! You're going EAT ME just like the story says!" ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:55am on 07/29/05 at 10:48:35, Margi wrote:
She reads the board once in a while and I've got to cover my a$$ just in case. She's a red head and lives up to all the stories about red heads. ::) I also wanted to be on record saying that this joke is not how I feel about my wife. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 10:57am This old golpher was with some golf buddies when they arrived at the 9th hole when a funeral procession came by. He was about to drive the ball when he noticed. He then stopped and removed his hat and bowed his head in respect. His buddies where in awe with the display they too followed suit. After the procession passed one of them asked why he stopped to do that. He responded "Well it was the least I could do after all I was Married to her for 30 years." |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:11am Frank drop dead! Pat.. you steaming great chicken.. Margi got that spot on!! LOL Ghostie.. oh boy... you know how to dig yourself in DEEP don'tcha sweetiepie?! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:13am on 07/29/05 at 11:11:05, LeLimey wrote:
Now this is digging in deep You bring the shovel and i'll bring the hoe. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] ;;D ;;D ;;D oh by the way where am I on the lists now?did I move up yet? ;) ;;D :o [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:19am DON'T you be calling Helen a hoe, mister! That's just not very nice at ALL!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:20am on 07/29/05 at 11:19:48, Margi wrote:
Woa I sd Ill bring the hoe!!!!! I would never call my CH BABES that now my 1st wife yes but helen NEVER!!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:21am well, it's even worse to call your wife a hoe. No wonder you're not gettin any. ::) ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:28am Oh man... This party's getting too rough for me. I guess I'll pull my pants up and go home. :-X [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:31am on 07/29/05 at 11:21:51, Margi wrote:
To quote the rules Quote:
[smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] Dont worrk Frank in the flack collector so I can move up the lists.... well how far up have I moved Ladies |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:31am on 07/29/05 at 11:11:05, LeLimey wrote:
I'd rather be called a chicken than the 'recently departed' or the 'ex'. Plus, I have to stick up for her. She's a great cook. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:32am on 07/29/05 at 08:30:40, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
If my husband pull that s--t on me!!! Plus when he & my son piss me off, I don't do anything for a week, they have to do everything, & I point everything out to them, & By the way, WHEN I SAY I'M DONE , I MEAN IT, I DO NOTHING FOR THAT WEEK, ASK CHARLIE ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:33am on 07/29/05 at 11:28:23, Frank_W wrote:
I'm not wearing any pants. ;;D Why is everyone looking at me so weird at work today? ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:34am Well Charlie [smiley=huh.gif] [smiley=huh.gif] [smiley=huh.gif] Ohh am on your list too sassylady? 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:36am on 07/29/05 at 11:32:22, sassy_lady wrote:
Damn, you must be real buissy the next week tryin to catch up on all your hen chores. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:40am LMAO, Pat!! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:43am DON'T HAVE ONE YET, JUST PUTTEN MY 2 CENTS IN, & LAUGHING MY A-- OFF! BUT I DO THINK YOU BOYS BETTER BACK DOWN, BEEN READING ALOT OVER THE LAST 2 WEEKS ON HERE, & YOU BOYS DON'T HAVE A CHANCE IN HELL!!! [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:46am "Man, these 'custardhead' wimmins is TOUGH!!" he exclaimed from somewhere beneath the bed. :-X [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:47am NO I DON'T, THEY CLEAN, COOK, DO LAUNDRY, SWEEP, ALL OF IT!!! OTHER WISE THEY DEAL WITH ME & WHEN MY BUTTONS ARE PUSHED WRONG, I'M THE 1 BITCH!!!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:51am on 07/29/05 at 11:46:20, Frank_W wrote:
Ive noticed but they are sooooo cute when riled ..... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:51am Why Men are just happier than Women Men understand humans are just simple creatures, women try to be advanced life forms. The garage is all ours - women can't even drive in or out of it successfully Men's Wedding plans take care of themselves To Men chocolate is just another snack Men can be President and Hillary is actually a Man in drag Men can wear white T-shirts to a water park and white shorts anytime Car mechanics tell Men the truth The world is our urinal and we don't need group therapy to go to the bathroom Wrinkles add character, grey hair makes us look distinguished Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100, finding another Man to marry our daughters and having one less woman in our houses - Priceless. People don't stare at our chests when they're talking to us Our new shoes are the right size, don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet. We have one mood, all the time for all occasions Our phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat so we're never running late We understand how most things work and what we don't understand - we know other Men willing to come over to help Our five-day vacation requires one bag for the entire trip. We can open all of our own jars. Due to evolution we get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness Our underwear is only $6.95 a six pack and one pack lasts 6 years. We don't need artists brushes to get our faces ready to go out. We survive easily with only two pair of shoes We don't have to stop and think about which way to turn a nut or bolt and know the right wrenchs to turn them with We never experience strap problems in public We lack ability to see wrinkles in our clothes We keep the same hairstyle for decades We have no need to shave below our necks Our bellys hide our big hips One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons, all occasions We can groom our nails with just a pocket knife We have freedom of choice concerning when we grow a mustache We do most of our entire years shopping on Christmas Eve in 45 minutes. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:54am it's the damndest thing..... I keep seeing these lists and jokes by the men, but my mouse just goes into auto-scroll mode and it just flies right past them all. Amazing. Kinda like that t-shirt that says "I see your mouth moving, but all I hear is "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"" ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:55am Damn straight, Tom! [smiley=laugh.gif] And yes, "custardhead" wimmins is cute when they get riled up. Those bright eyes, flushed faces, and labored breathing... :-X ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:57am Tom is my hero! :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:58am Margi LMAO... too true lady!! Frank.. you need another red spot you little shite! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:59am LMAO!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 12:12pm on 07/29/05 at 11:55:00, Frank_W wrote:
Did you mean bright red eyes, flushed faces, and labored breathing? You do realize that every Man associated with this thread is doomed. - and not just us - those poor wretches at home these CH wimmins are gonna' take their frustrations out on. It won't be pretty, pray for them brothers. The balance of the universe is really off now - I can feel the wobble getting worse. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:09pm And Last but not least..... George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart. "Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars! O.J. Simpson is still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and haul her ass off to jail." |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:37pm on 07/29/05 at 11:46:20, Frank_W wrote:
Got that right, Frankie!! ;;D I noticed your signature line says we are not afraid... all of you...BE AFRAID...BE VERY AFRAID. http://bestsmileys.com/evil/3.gif Oh and for the record, I would never make my husband pay a price for another man's mistakes. He makes plenty of his own. :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:46pm [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] I feel so sorry for your hubby, Nani. Really, "Drain-Cleaner Cassarole" is just too harsh of a punishment.... :-X [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:48pm Oh I don't know Frank... I don't think your wife serves it up enough.... >:( |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:50pm on 07/29/05 at 14:37:33, nani wrote:
yea they will talk us to death ... http://bestsmileys.com/evil/3.gif YAK YAK YAK YAK BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:51pm on 07/29/05 at 14:48:09, LeLimey wrote:
NOT TO MANY WIVES DO SERVE IT UP ENOUGH http://bestsmileys.com/evil/3.gif |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:52pm She puts it in the rice, actually! ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:53pm on 07/29/05 at 14:50:31, ghost62 wrote:
I'm surprised to hear you say that honey. You've met me in person. So you KNOW I can kick yer ass...why use words when I can use fists? :-* ;;D Oh my, I'm getting violent... do you see what you've all driven me to!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:56pm RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! IT'S "NEUROTIC NANI!" :o [smiley=laugh.gif] (hearing a distant crack of thunder...) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 2:59pm on 07/29/05 at 14:52:55, Frank_W wrote:
I guess thats better than putting rice in IT! unless Quote:
;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:07pm The story goes, that there was a member of parliament who was aghast when she heard this conversation between Winston Churchill and another female member of parliament at a dinner engagement. She hissed at him, "If I were your wife, I would poison your soup!" He replied, "And if I were your husband, madame, I would gladly drink it." [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:11pm Id be careful if I was you Ghostie and Frankie.. I have a lovely book I'll be lending your wives if you don't watch your step. Here is one of my favourites... just a LIGHT recipe... http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a139/lelimey/recipes002.jpg Oh and FRANK... you above all people should know what happens when people piss me off and I cook rice!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:14pm Better get a big pot, shortcake. :-* |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:16pm Oh any of you other ladies that want to borrow my cookery book are welcome. You usually find just leaving it on the coffee table incites exemplary behaviour... funny that eh?!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:17pm on 07/29/05 at 15:11:54, LeLimey wrote:
Is that one of your 3 min. recipies [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:19pm It's not so bad when they laugh, But it really hurts when they point and laugh!!!!! ;;D ;) ;;D ;) ;;D ;) :o :o :o |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by broomhilda on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:19pm LMAO Helen, looks yummy...does it come with special sauce? ;) ;;D :-X |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:21pm on 07/29/05 at 15:17:04, ghost62 wrote:
You're the ones who only take 3 minutes. :-X Helen, bring that book to the next convention, OK? ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:21pm BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh holy shit... I'm going to give myself an aneurism if I keep laughing like this... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:22pm on 07/29/05 at 15:19:57, broomhilda wrote:
probably but it comes early in the meal :o :o ;) ;) ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:22pm Broomie, I know you believe in Womens Lib and I think that is just precious, but this is grownup men talking now, so just run along. :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:23pm Maybe I should bet a couple of copies as door prizes.. what do you think?!! And Broomie.. no for once it takes longer than three minutes, its hot - and you get to eat it your way!! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by broomhilda on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:24pm pssttttt hey Jimi...make me ;;D edit to add LMFAO Helen! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:25pm Good job, Helen! Now, I see Jimi's worried that there isn't a pot big enough. You've still got that meat cleaver, don't you? No pot too big.... RIGHT, Mrs. Bobbit? |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:26pm ROTFLMAO Helen!! [smiley=laugh.gif] Bring some copies for the auction. OUCH will make a small fortune. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:27pm Ok GALS so who's list have I moved up on? ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:29pm on 07/29/05 at 15:26:44, nani wrote:
Emphasis on small im guessing? 8) ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:29pm on 07/29/05 at 11:47:04, sassy_lady wrote:
Helen...I think this lady is gonna fit right in with us!! Welcome Sister Sassy! Your manual and the secret decoder ring will be in the mail soon. The list is only the precursor to the ensuing battle...be ready for victory! To all my other Sisters...code 8. (you know what to do...) :) DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:30pm I don't have a list. There isn't enough paper or hard drive in the world... http://bestsmileys.com/evil/11.gif |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:32pm I'd just like to say that between Donna's and Nani's most recent posts, I am officially terrified. :o [smiley=eek5.gif] [smiley=eek.gif] [smiley=curtain.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:33pm 7 sisters, 1 ex wife, 1 mother, 1 step mother, 1 mother in law, 17 neices, 6 grand mothers, and 1 wife You dont scare me. No surrender, No retreat. Oh yea why is it when a woman goes to bed there a55 and feet temp drops 30 degrees 8) ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:35pm Code EIGHT?? Are you SURE, DD? Holy. :o I guess you're right. Drastic times call for drastic measures. ok, stations everyone. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:37pm ok guys code 69 ;;D ;) ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by broomhilda on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:38pm To the Batcave ladies ;;D Enemy target... http://www.funpic.hu/files/pics/00004/00004195.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:38pm on 07/29/05 at 15:33:54, ghost62 wrote:
unbelievable. You'd think you would have learned by now. ::) Follow Frank - he's got the right idea. Take cover. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:39pm DD... code 8 initiated. ;) You know...I'm likin' this thread. It's not often I get to use evil smilies. I'm a little grouchy today. I have a tension headache. I think I'll take an aspirin and go lie down. ;;D Oh... before I go....guys this is for you: http://bestsmileys.com/mooners/6.gif |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:40pm Code 8? okay, passport, babysitter organised, address book handy.. anything else? oh yeah.. my cookery book.... ;;D Sassy welcome to the sisterhood! Ghost code69.. that ain't even a tongue twister! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:42pm I'm not sure but there appears to be some sort of Metamorphosis thaking place here. It actually appears these women are starting to think like men...... The men are either winning this battle or...... OMG did someone let em' get their hands on a copy of he training manual? Gentlemen do a quick manual inventory, make sure they're all accounted for!!!!!! [smiley=deal2.gif] Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:42pm Helen! Don't forget the meat cleaver! We might be needing it. Sassy, since you're new, just stay in behind Broomie - she's one of our Squadron leaders. Just follow her lead. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:44pm on 07/29/05 at 15:42:13, burnt-toast wrote:
yep, that's right Tom - do the old crotch check. Make sure the boys are still there. You'll miss them when they're gone. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:45pm Okay with the initiation of code 8 and the end of civilisation as we know it the time has come for you all to begin to know the extent of the lengths I will go to to right a wrong. I have a story to tell of a wrong I righted in days gone by when I was younger and a LOT more restrained than I am now. Give me a couple of minutes while I type up the story of the curry of doom. Men.. be afraid.. ladies.. wait and prepare to learn! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by broomhilda on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:46pm on 07/29/05 at 15:44:14, Margi wrote:
[smiley=laugh.gif]LMFAO!!! Welcome aboard Sassy... :D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:46pm All right!!! Looks like all the cluster girls are getting together to throw a party for the dudes. Do you know how to mix a Gin Martini? I'll take a double. [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:50pm OMFG... Not the Curry Of Doom story!! [smiley=eek.gif] [smiley=oops.gif] [smiley=yikes.gif] [smiley=thumb.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:51pm uh oh. Eye. Seriously. Dude. Do NOT piss Helen off. I'm tellin ya. She's very sweet looking until she reaches a certain point. Scares the hell outta me. Man, it really sucks to be you, buddy. I just hope Senior Master Sergeant Grandma doesn't hear about this. There'll be hell to pay then. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:52pm on 07/29/05 at 15:37:07, ghost62 wrote:
I KNEW IT, ALL YOU BOYS ARE GAY!! [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:53pm OK, I'm convinced they've gotten hold of a manual. They're acting as a team - not two women have been able to agree on anything in the history of (ahem) MAN let alone act as a team. We just need to ride this out Men - eventually womanhood will kick in, nulify what they've learned from the manual and this women's resistance will fall apart. They'll be hen clucking each other in no time. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:54pm They dont realize how devistating code 69 is ... going at that speed and having to stop and turn around can hurt .... 8) ;) :o ;;D 8) ;) ;;D :o |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:54pm I don't know, Tom... Nothing, but NOTHING, trumps the Curry Of Doom story!! /trembling... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:54pm I was playing guitar one day when an ex started going off on me about "You love that guitar more than me. You spend more time playing that damned thing than you do with me." I replied, "I've had this guitar longer than I've had you, and unlike you, it understands me. It only screams when I want it to, and only cries if I want it too. If I had the same kind of power over you as I do this guitar..." That was several ex's ago, and I still have that same guitar! One day, I will marry it. Soup for one, Carl D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:55pm hen clucking huh? oooh, you'll pay for that. and ... um... Ghost, if you're doing it that fast...you're doing it wrong. Sassy, I think you might be onto something. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:55pm When I was married before (NOT to David I hasten to add!!) my ex was a right.. tool shall we say?! Brid and Barney were both very young, Barney was only a year old and Brid was justten months older. Andy (the ex) had his "penfriend" come to stay from Fort Wayne Indiana.. yes I knew she wasn't a penfriend but I also knew it was easier to go along with it and avoid another beating... but I digress. He decided I had to cook an Indian Feast for her as she loved curries. I spent the whole day in the kitchen cooking everything from scratch. There was a sort of a hatch between the living room and the kitchen which was partly open and I caught a glance through it at one point of Brid and Barney both lying asleep on the floor. They had fallen asleep watching Timon and Pumbaa. The next time I glanced through at them Andy and the blob were standing right over them snogging and that really pissed me off.. they were MY kids and that was just damn tacky. To this day I don't know what made me do it.. I don't really want to know what made me do it either but as I was dishing up all the food I set aside a portion of rice for myself.. and then took off my knickers and strained the rice for them through the knickers I'd been wearing all day. Every time they put a fork full of food into their mouths I damn near wet myself (not clever with no knickers on!) and they thought I'd been drinking! So if there are any married men out there thinking they are pissing on their wives.. don't be too sure your wives aren't pissing on you!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:58pm Don't worry though boys.. I'm older, meaner and I don't hold back anymore!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by maffumatt on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:59pm Damb Helen, hope I stay off your list....... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 3:59pm on 07/29/05 at 15:55:43, Margi wrote:
Face it women just cand handle the force of that kind of turn :P ;;D ;) :D 8) :o |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by vig on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:00pm way to go Helen! Revenge is sweet, er, uh sour... or whatever.... ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by broomhilda on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:00pm OMG Helen, ROTFLMFAO!!! [smiley=laugh.gif] Priceless [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:01pm on 07/29/05 at 15:54:42, Frank_W wrote:
Better do a quick crotch check as Really Tremling. OOOOOO that actually felt kinda nice - reporting...... MOST IMPORTANT MAN PARTS PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR. They haven't unleased the Dark Forces of the universe yet. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:02pm on 07/29/05 at 15:55:58, LeLimey wrote:
Wait Ive been trying to get my wife to use that recipie ... thanks for reminding me. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] :o :o ;) ;;D ;) ;;D :o |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:02pm And then there is the story Woobie wanted me to tell about how I got my "name" LeLimey.. yes Ghost it's Ms Bitch to you!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:03pm I THINK THE BOYS GOT LOST IN THEIR 69 CODE, ALL IS QUITE!! WHO KNOW [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:04pm oh yes we have, Tom. Helen's Curry of Doom story was just a distraction while the forces make their way stealthily to you. Wait for it. You may not notice much at first. Just be sure to hold a net underneath yourself if you decide to stand up fast. Reattachment surgery will be much more efficient if you can gather up everything intact. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:05pm on 07/29/05 at 16:02:52, LeLimey wrote:
I need a good bed time story ... and I would never call you that name ... ;) ;) ;;D :o [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:08pm Really Margi I'm ashamed of you!!! I thought we agreed to stop telling them reattachment was possible?! Next thing you'll be telling them they get severance pay! Have you no shame?!! [smiley=laugh.gif] Oh no I forgot.. none of us do.. do we?!!! LMBO |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:08pm I have got to be moving up the lists by now ... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] ;) ;) ;) ;;D ;;D ;;D 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:10pm BY THE WAY BOYS, MY HUSBAND CHARLIE IS STAYING OUT OF THINGS HERE, HE KNOWS HOW I AM [smiley=bash.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:10pm Yes ghostie.. you are right at the top of the castration without anaesthetic list as we speak! Sassy pass me that blunt butter knife would you?! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:11pm yeah, I know Helen...I shouldn't have said anything. But I think they probably already surmised that reattachment is possible. No one is making any guarantees about functionality though. ;) Now, I've got a sudden craving for noodle soup. Hmm.....I wonder why. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:11pm on 07/29/05 at 15:55:58, LeLimey wrote:
No excuses accepted to this - Honestly - your were way too kind. Something more moving in the food along with your straining technique would have been appropriate. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:13pm on 07/29/05 at 16:11:14, burnt-toast wrote:
actually got to agree way to nice ... for that cold steel mixed in would have even been to kind ... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:16pm on 07/29/05 at 16:03:39, sassy_lady wrote:
No such luck - just catching up on reading - wanted to see if the women have said something meaningful for a change. So far it looks like the usual - nothing meaningful. Not that I've found something meaningful from the Men either. ;) Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:18pm After a nasty day at work - I come home to this - and can't stop laughing! Helen - you need to move to this side of the ocean now! You're more evil than I am [smiley=laugh.gif] One of my favourite stories involved a friend's Mom who decided that her husband was really getting on her nerves and had come home drunk once too often. Her revenge was sweet - she boiled all of his 'jockeys' in pure bleach - then dried them! No rinsing. Apparently "the boys" don't like that - makes for nasty itch and rash and even some pain! You girls have all handled this extremely well. You make me proud to be WOMAN! Now let's really get 'em. Battle stations ready - everyone armed - let's go. DD's outlined the battle plan - we just have to put the finishing touches to it. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:18pm on 07/29/05 at 16:10:51, LeLimey wrote:
CAN'T FIND IT, GOT A NICE THICK FORK, WILL TAKE LONG TIME TO CUT IT OFF THOUGH [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:23pm I did the bleach one too.. its a precious memory! As was when I microwaved all of his credit cards in short ten second bursts (so they didn't melt) the night before he went to stay with his squeeze in the US... needless to say that relationship didn't last past the week of her having to pay for everything because his cards mysteriously didn't work... sort of shot myself in the foot with that one though.. oh well!! Right Carole.. you shoot 'em I'll cook 'em! I've got a little milk pan around here somewhere! Should be big enough for "my" recipe! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:23pm I have to agree: You were too kind to them, Helen. I would have liberally doused their meal with oven cleaner, drain cleaner, bug spray, saliva, and anything else I could find and stir into the pot. er.... Not that I'm vindictive or anything.... *grinning darkly* |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:24pm on 07/29/05 at 16:10:00, sassy_lady wrote:
I've noticed - Maybe that's how you got a copy of our manual - Gentlemen, Charlie may be working for the other side. Code 68, Code 68. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:24pm Finishing touches for a woman could be days ...... 8) ;) ;) ;;D not that that is always a bad thing ..... YAK YAK YAK YAK YAK YAK BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH [smiley=bigguns.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=jammin.gif] [smiley=shore.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] [smiley=cool2.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:25pm Frank, which side are you playing on? I think you're getting nasty enough to be one of us, girlfriend! ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:26pm Ghost.. two words.. FORK OFF!!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:28pm on 07/29/05 at 16:25:38, Margi wrote:
LMAO!! Oh, trust me: I'm very evil. A roommate in the Army pissed me off in a variety of ways, so each morning, I would scrub the underside of the toilet bowl with his toothbrush. I gave a glass of toilet water to a sergeant of mine who was trying to get me kicked out of the Army, and didn't think I was wise to his little tricks. He drank that water down like it was Dom Perignon. LMMFAO!! I've got worse stories.... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:28pm on 07/29/05 at 16:25:38, Margi wrote:
We have him on the run Margi.. can' t you tell how scared he is?!!! LO...EWWWWW... what IS that SMELL?!!! :-/ |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:29pm LMAO Helen, I think someone better check Frankie Boy for skid marks. I think that's what the smell is. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:30pm on 07/29/05 at 16:28:20, LeLimey wrote:
Probably your curry. LMAO |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:30pm Why don't men wear tight underwear? It cuts off circulation to the brain! Why do men have broad shoulders and big foreheads? When you ask them a question, they shrug their shoulders and say, "I don't know." When you tell them the answer, they slap their foreheads and say, "Ohhhhhh." Why are vibrators better than men? Because they never screw other women, never come in drunk, and you don't have to do their laundry! Why do men die before their wives? They should. What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need........ A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need How does a man keep his youth? By giving them money, furs and diamonds. Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment? A mental hospital. What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men? Wife saying she wants to talk to him. Why are hangovers better than men? Hangovers will go away. How are men and batteries different? Batteries have a positive side. Why is virginity like a baloon? All it takes is one small prick and it's gone. What is the difference between garbage and men? Garbage gets thrown out and stays out! How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? No one knows, the ex-wife always gets the house. Why are men like strawberries? Because they take a long time to mature and by the time they do most are rotten [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:33pm FORK OFF!!!! ooohhh that hurt ... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Skid marks from laughing so hard ..... ;;D ;;D ;;D now ladies :-* :-* this this [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] never surrender, never retreat |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:34pm on 07/29/05 at 16:30:01, Frank_W wrote:
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:38pm on 07/29/05 at 16:28:15, Frank_W wrote:
Frank remind me to never piss you off - glad you're on the right team! [smiley=yikes.gif] I think the women are losing their resolve, there focus is slipping in and out - saw em' giving each other support there tryin' to get back on track. Men are winnin', Men are winnin' - BOY this is really gonna through the universe Out of.... AHHHHHHHH. I just stood up and something seem to have fallen off! Gotta ago look! Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:38pm Sassy I got to admit that was halarious now back to the party :P [smiley=bigguns.gif] [smiley=bash.gif] [smiley=bash.gif] [smiley=bash.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=shore.gif] [smiley=sgrin.gif] [smiley=smokin.gif] [smiley=spit.gif] [smiley=smokin.gif] [smiley=slowlaugh.gif] [smiley=tongue2.gif] [smiley=tongue2.gif] [smiley=tongue2.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif] [smiley=winkkiss.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] [smiley=lick.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:40pm LMMFAO!!!!! Helen, if you ever serve a dinner like that again, I'll have to give you the recipe for the Ex-Lax brownies. They are tasty, and with a full box to a brownie - it gets results fast. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:40pm well, ladies (and Ghost), my leave starts at 1600 here, so this is me, over and out until 0730 Tuesday morning. Keep up the great work, troops - may the force stay with you. Hold the line and keep the enemy at bay. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:41pm Margi have a great break, hope Mike gets some PF time and you get some quality time together! You go girl! Take care lots of love Helen |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:42pm on 07/29/05 at 16:40:19, Margi wrote:
I am sooooo going to hell. It's okay. They know me there. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:43pm I come back, catch up on all the cute stories. Makes me thirsty. Which one of you wimmen wanna run out and get me a beer? :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:43pm Um Carl.... you and me are going to get on like a house on fire I can see! I actually made a chocolate fudge cake loaded with exlax once and sent Andy to work with it. He drove freight trains through the channel tunnel and into France. Well.. he didn't get through the tunnel before the cake got through him. Not many drivers did. His name was SHIT... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:44pm on 07/29/05 at 16:43:06, Jimi wrote:
I'll go Jimi.. a nice light warm one do you? ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:47pm What's the nicest thing about a nudist wedding? You don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is. What should you do if your boyfriend starts smoking? Slow down What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee? One is hairy, smelly and is always scratching himself. The other is a chimpanzee. How can you tell if your husband's dead? Sex is the same but you get the remote. What food describes most men? Jerky. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner? In the pages of a romance novel. How can you tell if your husband's dead? Sex is the same but you get the remote. What food describes most men? Jerky. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner? In the pages of a romance novel. How do we know men invented maps? Who else would make an inch into a mile? Why did they kick the man out of the airport? He kept throwing stale bread at the plane. What's the hardest thing to teach a man? How to operate a waste basket. What's the difference between a man and a messy room? You can straighten up a messy room. Did you hear about the two men who went ice fishing? They caught 200 pounds of ice, but drowned when they tried to cook it. Then there's the jigsaw puzzle for men. It only has one piece, And most of the time, it's missing. Why did God create men? She forgot to put the legs on snakes. Why women like bidets? Because men don't know what they are |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:49pm Hey while you are up get me a Beer too ..... ;) ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:51pm Shit Ghost.. how much Water do you think I've drunk?!!! ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:52pm Great news, It was just my pen slipping through a hole in my pocket. Funny though my male cat seems to be looking for somthing and walking funny Jeshhhh..... they missed me and hit the cat, poor devil is now squating to pee. - common' be careful with the power you women are playing with - no collateral damage is acceptable. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:53pm on 07/29/05 at 16:51:47, LeLimey wrote:
Put a head on it and get it cold ill never notice |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:54pm When does a man develop a brain? The day he gets married. Why did the man sell his water skis? He couldn't find a lake on a hill. How can you tell if a man is a Male Chauvinist Pig? He thinks "harass" is two words Why don't men die in their sleep? 'Cuz they can't do two things at the same time. What do you call a caring, considerate and gifted man? A Myth. Why do women always wear black to bed? To mourn the dead pricks beside them!! Why did God Create man first? 1. Practice makes perfect. 2. Give us someone to bitch at immidately. 3. There's a frist draft with anything. 4. To see what needed to be fixed and then make the proper changes. 5. First is the worst.........Second is the best! 6. To be funny Woman: "I got a set of golf clubs for my husband" Friend: "GREAT trade!" How do you scare a man ? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you? Did you really throw your husband out on the street naked, for taking a bath with Bubbles? Yes I did, and I threw Bubbles out too. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:54pm how can you tell when you have been married to long? When she opens her legs and a little light comes on. ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Jul 29th, 2005, 4:59pm Ok guys I gotta go till monday but I shall return ... I know Ladies thanks for the warning ... ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 5:00pm Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." How does the single woman get rid of roaches? She asks them for a commitment. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed. Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk. Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time. Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 29th, 2005, 5:01pm What's the most painful part of a man having a sex-change operation to become a womyn? When they remove half of the brain. Ducking and running, ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 5:02pm Bye Ghostie.. its been.. something.. I don't know what but its certainly been something!!! :-* |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 29th, 2005, 5:04pm Carl... remember DavCon?!! I will!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 29th, 2005, 5:05pm on 07/29/05 at 17:00:50, sassy_lady wrote:
Yep, definitely going to hell. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 29th, 2005, 5:06pm on 07/29/05 at 17:04:50, LeLimey wrote:
Note to self: Don't accept pre-opened beers from LeLimey. ESPECIALLY WARM ONES! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 5:07pm Later Ghost62, Margi remember to go back through this crap it's funny. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 5:13pm What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention. How is a man like a snowstorm? Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay. What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist. Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because they already have boyfriends. How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette? The porcupine has pricks on the outside. Why are men like chocolate candies? They look good on the outside but once it gets inside you, it's either too small, gross, or stuck to the top. What's black and blue and lying in a ditch? A man who told too many blonde jokes. What is a man's view of safe sex? A padded headboard. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block. How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A.One - men will screw anything. B.One - men will screw up anything. C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack. Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal. Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises? So oxygen can get into their brains How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes Why is it good that there are women astronauts? So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 5:30pm Why do men like blonde jokes so much? Because they can understand them What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? A. No mind. B. No business. Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy." What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift? Exchange him. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there. Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why. How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix? It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn't need it anyway. Why is a hard man good to find? You don't have to stay up half the night massaging his ego. What's the best way to kill a man? Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one Men are like....Animals Messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but occasionally make great pets. Men are like.....Bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest. Men are like....Beer. The first sip is always bitter. No matter how many varieties you try, they are essentially the same; tasteless, full of bubbles, destabilize your metabolism and give you a headache, but somehow they linger and you either can't finish one or you can't get enough. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Jul 29th, 2005, 6:09pm OMFG 11 pages :o [smiley=me&mb.gif] I'm just sitting on the sidelines [smiley=smokin.gif] [smiley=smokin.gif] Tom, I still have my Manual. Thank You !!! [smiley=deal2.gif] Where is yours ????? [smiley=yikes.gif] I do not want any [smiley=hammer.gif] So I am going to [smiley=sleep.gif] through all this But its all very [smiley=laugh.gif] :o ::) [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=worried.gif] [smiley=confused2.gif] Good Luck too all, I'm on Enough SH*T list's without getting on one here... [smiley=winkkiss.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 29th, 2005, 6:36pm on 07/29/05 at 18:09:30, jcmquix wrote:
Sure the title is MEN UNITE and you sit the sidelines. (actually if my wife was part of this I'd be hidin' under the bed) Hey, I'll never give up my manual, never. I'll have to make to go through it - battles go too fast to remember the details - but a lot a funny stuff was flying. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 29th, 2005, 7:49pm IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER TOOOO STILL GOT TONS OF BOY JOKES LEFT!!! ::) JOLENE |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:22pm /sitting at the back of the bus, on the way to Hell, laughing darkly, with a bottle of cheap hooch in a paper bag, ACDC on the walkman, A .38 jammed in the waistband of my 501's, and having smoked some primo Maui in the bus stop restroom. [smiley=jammin.gif] [smiley=bigtiny.gif] [smiley=finger.gif] [smiley=smokin.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=sgrin.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Jul 29th, 2005, 11:35pm Hmm, I'm a little surprised here. I expected the ladies to have the last word. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Kirk on Jul 30th, 2005, 12:45am I don't think its over yet brian. They're just taking a break. [smiley=mellow.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Jul 30th, 2005, 2:38am If they take any longer they'll need retraining. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 5:38am Oh Brian... you silly silly little boy.. haven't years and years of marriage taught you we NEVER forget?! We just go to hell and regroup. Write that down.. it will pay you to remember sonny!! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Jul 30th, 2005, 6:57am on 07/30/05 at 05:38:46, LeLimey wrote:
That's what I like most about you, when you get back you're so HOT!! As it happens I was gunna dream about you just last night, but you wouldn't let me. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 7:37am Brian I told you I was a ball breaker. I'm so cold when I uncross my legs the central heating kicks on. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by E-Double on Jul 30th, 2005, 7:51am on 07/30/05 at 07:37:18, LeLimey wrote:
Poor David! I guess we now know how he earned the nickname "Iceman" :o [smiley=laugh.gif] 5'9 and change, the scale broke, Boo Ya!!! [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] :-* |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Peppermint on Jul 30th, 2005, 8:05am on 07/30/05 at 07:51:36, E-Double wrote:
LMMFAO!!!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Jul 30th, 2005, 8:18am on 07/30/05 at 07:37:18, LeLimey wrote:
I really hope that means something different in your country to what it means in mine. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Jul 30th, 2005, 8:21am Quote:
Quote:
Hmmm - I'm pretty much thinkin' that's a universal term. Be afraid Brian, be very afraid!!!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 8:34am David was Iceman before I met him but he hasn't thawed out any!!! LOL Eric, I love you that was bloody hilarious! Brian.. it means EXACTLY what you think it means sweetie! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Jul 30th, 2005, 8:37am on 07/30/05 at 08:21:37, Grandma_Sweet_Boy wrote:
So many countries seperated by a common language (Disreali?) but I can promise you no lady would describe herself as such here in Oz. As for being afraid I fear no man, one woman, and it's 30-all Brian v Dragon. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 30th, 2005, 9:35am on 07/30/05 at 05:38:46, LeLimey wrote:
Conversation overheard after the woman regrouping session in hell. WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where is the car?" WIFE: "In the pool." Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Sean_C on Jul 30th, 2005, 9:40am LMMFAO ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 30th, 2005, 9:54am Men are like....Buses. They have spare tires and smell funny. Men are like.....Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it. Men are like.....Curling irons. They're always hot, and they're always in your hair. Men are like.....Fires. They go out if unattended! Men are like....Fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with. Men are like.....High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it. Men are like.....Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright. Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion Men are like.....Mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs. Men are like....Oreos. Once you eat the cream they aren't good anymore! Men are like.....Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table Men are like.....Recliners. You pull the lever and they lay back Men are like....Teeth. You ignore them - you lose them. Husbands are like....Children They're fine if they're someone else's. Men approve of premarital sex until daughters are born. If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day or two, He'll be back to his usual self. A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce. Marriage certificate? It's just another name for her work permit. When a newly married woman smiles, all know why, but when a ten-years married woman smiles, all wonder why. "It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children. I will never forget that game of cards..." Men lie about their jobs, drive cars they can't afford, wear toupees and loose shirts that hide their stomachs, and say they want a "real woman"... Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a mans sex drive by 90 percent.... Wedding cake!!! Bigamy is having one husband too many. Some say monogamy is the same. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Jul 30th, 2005, 10:00am on 07/30/05 at 09:35:24, burnt-toast wrote:
[smiley=ohjez.gif] [smiley=smokin.gif] [smiley=jammin.gif] Hiding under the Bed. Tom.. "Did you find out who lost their [smiley=deal2.gif]??" We will have to [smiley=hammer.gif] [smiley=bash.gif] if you find out who it was.. Good Luck Guys [smiley=me&mb.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 30th, 2005, 10:46am Nope!! The quote about wedding cake is about WOMEN!! NOT men! A woman was looking at her breasts in the mirror and was quite dissatisfied with her bust size. Her husband watched quietly for a few minutes, and he said, "You know, if you take a piece of toilet paper and rub between them once a day, they'll really grow." Looking puzzled, she replied, "Will that really work?" He replied, "Well, it sure worked on your ass!" Okay... If anyone needs me, I'll be in the fallout shelter. :-X [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=bigtiny.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Sean_C on Jul 30th, 2005, 10:50am ROTFLMMFAO thats a keeper Frank [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Sean............................................ ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 10:58am on 07/30/05 at 10:46:17, Frank_W wrote:
I've heard that's what your wife says Frank... :P on 07/30/05 at 10:46:17, Frank_W wrote:
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 30th, 2005, 11:01am on 07/30/05 at 10:46:17, Frank_W wrote:
Oh Man! I think I just felt a very cold breeze, from the weather reports it's mysteriously covering the entire globe. Better stay in that shelter for a while Frank. Can't stop laughing. [smiley=oops.gif] [smiley=spit.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 30th, 2005, 11:10am on 07/30/05 at 11:01:43, burnt-toast wrote:
OK ladies...Plan 8 has begun. I'm off to take care of section 5... Do me proud, girls!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 30th, 2005, 11:17am ROFLMAO, Helen!! /glancing worriedly at Nani... [smiley=worried.gif] [smiley=bomb.gif] [smiley=oops.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by KingOfPain on Jul 30th, 2005, 12:46pm http://www.circlecity.co.uk/picture_jokes/carboat.jpg http://www.thepatwhiteshow.com/images/ATT27949.jpg http://www.thepatwhiteshow.com/images/girldriver1.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by KingOfPain on Jul 30th, 2005, 12:49pm http://www.thepatwhiteshow.com/images/ATT27950.jpg http://www.howstrange.com/gallery/parking_space.gif If you don't like the way Wimmins drive... stay off the sidewalk!!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 1:05pm KOP.. I feel sorry for you. Have you forgotten when PLAN * originated?!!! LOL Sleep well tonight sweetie!! It was nice knowing you with both eyebrows..... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by KingOfPain on Jul 30th, 2005, 1:14pm on 07/30/05 at 13:05:25, LeLimey wrote:
http://www.bimbleabout.fsnet.co.uk/images/woz-dj.jpg ;;D *[No, this isn't me...for those that don't know.] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 30th, 2005, 1:14pm ROFLMAO!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by alienspacebabe on Jul 30th, 2005, 1:53pm on 07/30/05 at 11:10:59, nani wrote:
I've got section 7 under way..... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Sandy_C on Jul 30th, 2005, 2:26pm Don't know how I've missed this thread for a day and a half, but ladies, count me in. I'm packing my tools, let's see, pot, knife, rice, I've got a great sauce recipe, should I bring it? Am I forgetting anything? Just tell me what sector I should report to and I'm ready for battle. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by alienspacebabe on Jul 30th, 2005, 2:33pm on 07/30/05 at 14:26:07, Sandy_C wrote:
Blowtorch and welding mask.... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Redd715 on Jul 30th, 2005, 3:28pm Quote:
I shall say this only ONCE.... IF you should happen to buy the creationist theory... Once God created Woman he was done...Perfection was ultimately achieved. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Jul 30th, 2005, 3:43pm on 07/30/05 at 15:28:42, Redd715 wrote:
It's gettin' deep in here and I forgot my hip waders !! UNsolved |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 3:50pm on 07/30/05 at 15:43:52, unsolved1 wrote:
Don't worry mate.. I can stand on your head to save myself and give Redd and the others a hand up... all is not lost! ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Jul 30th, 2005, 3:53pm LOL ... just when I thought it couldn't get any deeper ;;D UNsolved |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 30th, 2005, 3:54pm on 07/30/05 at 15:28:42, Redd715 wrote:
Don't you go gettin' all biblical on me sistah! Just remember, I was studying to be a minister just a few years back. The creation story, as it were, God took a rib from Adam and created Eve. She could not has existed without Adam. When God told them not to eat from the tree of knowledge, what did the woman do? SHE ATE IT AND BROUGHT IT TO THE MAN TO EAT! Then God told the woman "You will bear great pain and travail through childbirth." Then he told the man "Just for that, your downfall will be from here on out, even when you know you are right, you will still listen to the woman and do what she says for the rest of your days." ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:04pm A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?" [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:07pm Carl you know what.. I thought you were bright but now I'm not so sure. The answer to that is glaringly obvious! The angel wasn't there because OBVIOUSLY the man was doing the best thing he could in getting married.. DUH! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:09pm If God created woman after man, He did it because He wanted to create a model without all those imperfections. He was satisfied, so that's why there are only 2 genders. :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:12pm on 07/30/05 at 16:07:17, LeLimey wrote:
I may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but I am the smartest peanut in the turd. ;;D A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once." A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice." After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride raised all kind of hell with him, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do." The farmer said, "That's once." 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:16pm on 07/30/05 at 16:09:34, nani wrote:
More like after creating Women... HE was terrified of the burden HE had just placed on MAN. And decided further tinkering could be disasterous. We have only begun our Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:21pm Oh Tom.. you are going to be so sorry when I meet your wife and I give her all my tips for running a happy home LMAO Taking the TV remote shopping with you is terribly therapeutic.. as is reversing the batteries.. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:30pm A wife woke of the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight." Poor guy :'( |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:32pm Carl I'm shocked and stunned.. you're so young to be such a misogynist!!! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:40pm on 07/30/05 at 16:32:33, LeLimey wrote:
Nah! Me loves women. Who else would do the dishes? That reminds me: Q: How do you know if your wife has died? A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up Hiding in a cave now, Mack Danger |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by rickyshot on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:46pm [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=girlflash.gif] Bumping up the funniest thread ever. I am crying here. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:48pm You'll be lucky to find a cave to hide in after a comment like that Freek! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Carl_D on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:51pm on 07/30/05 at 16:48:03, LeLimey wrote:
Me's in twouble! :-X LMMFAO! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:56pm http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/febrain.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 30th, 2005, 4:57pm Ladys & wifes, I have a great little party trick, HAD a boyfriend that thought it was funny carring me out of the house in a towel after I got out of the shower, that weekend, Had a little party with some girlfriends & got him a bottle, Got us girls some white wine, played pass out, we whiched the wine with water, HE PASSED OUT!!!, then we started drinking the real wine & SHAVED HIM FROM HIS WAIST DOWN, SHAVED HALF OF HIS FACE & NOT ALL ON THE SAME SIDE, USED DIFFERANT COLORS OF PERMANENT MARKERS, DIED HALF OF HIS HAIR PINK, SAT HIM IN A CHAIR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, HE WHEN TO JAIL THAT NIGHT!!! took his things to mom's house. everytime he sees me, he runs the other way!!!!! by the way have pictures, will have Charlie fix scanner.. very true story!!! ::) ::) ::) ::) [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 5:11pm Carl and Unsolved.. you've made the list boys! Sassy.. can you come to DavCon? We have GOT to |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Jul 30th, 2005, 5:13pm Oh no !! Not "The List" !! ;;D What does a woman and carpet have in commen? if you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them later [smiley=smokin.gif] UNsolved |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 30th, 2005, 5:29pm on 07/30/05 at 16:21:15, LeLimey wrote:
She's been LHAO as this thread evolves. What scares me is that she's started another list that she takes with her everywhere she goes. Needless to say, I'm watching over my shoulder at all times and keeping a good distance from "THE LIST". Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 30th, 2005, 5:45pm on 07/30/05 at 17:11:06, LeLimey wrote:
Wish I could, Would love to meet everyone, but can't this time, maybe the next one!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 6:14pm Oh Sassy.. :'( Maybe the convention in the summer then? *hopeful*... Tom.. bad news buster you made the list on its first outing and I don't forget.. ever. Ask my ex!! LOL |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Jul 30th, 2005, 6:48pm on 07/30/05 at 16:16:10, burnt-toast wrote:
OK.. I am ready to enter this thing.... Uh.. OH Well Wait.. http://www.cops.com/cops_header_new_jan2005.jpg I got to go wash my truck... yea.. Trucks Dirty... [smiley=ohjez.gif] Be back later.... [smiley=smokin.gif] Now hiding under the bed with the Remote.. [smiley=smokin.gif] Sorry Guys... [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 30th, 2005, 6:52pm OK Jolene, now that Charlie's under the bed for 30 minutes, you know what to do. ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 6:52pm Charlie.. too late.. I'll tell your wife where you are.. oh never mind! She can read for herself!! Bad luck mate! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 30th, 2005, 6:59pm took his remote, cigs, headphones, & all the animals away from him, bread & water tonite for him ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 30th, 2005, 7:00pm Plus the keys to his new truck!!! ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 30th, 2005, 8:16pm Jolene you rock! Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen! I'm a bit concerned though.. you took away his ANIMALS?!!! LMBO [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 30th, 2005, 9:32pm of course, their all Bitches & girl thingys [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 30th, 2005, 10:28pm The Cause: A fresh-faced man on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" His mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this represents to all in attendence that your bride is pure." The son thanks his mother and seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?" His father looks at his son and replies, "Son, because white is basic color of all household appliances" The Result: Questioning at the trial "You poisoned the coffee and then sat at the breakfast table while your husband drank a cup. Didn't you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?" "Yes," replied the woman, "There was a moment when I felt sorry for him." "And that was when?" "When he actually asked nicely for a second cup. I think they got Charlie - Be very careful! :'( Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 31st, 2005, 11:06am on 07/30/05 at 22:28:15, burnt-toast wrote:
Charlie is on our side silly.. with Sassy for a wife do you think he is going to be stooopid enough to side with you?! [smiley=laugh.gif] Oh and your gender replacement surgery is all set for tomorrow Tomasina :o |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 31st, 2005, 12:30pm on 07/31/05 at 11:06:16, LeLimey wrote:
I GOT THE THICK FORK & WRIST ROCKET.... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sandie99 on Jul 31st, 2005, 1:38pm Chey, I've been away for few days and we have the latest version of the battle of the sexes going on. ;;D And I'm so pround of my sisters. Go girls! ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by pattik on Jul 31st, 2005, 2:20pm How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Two. If you slice them very thinly. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Jul 31st, 2005, 2:40pm OMG!!! LMAO, PattiK! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Jul 31st, 2005, 2:47pm ATTENTION LADIES: http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/sucks.gif UNsolved |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 31st, 2005, 2:52pm on 07/31/05 at 14:47:14, unsolved1 wrote:
Thats okay unsolved.. you just go away and all will be well again!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Jul 31st, 2005, 3:11pm lol ... Hey wait a minute. I'm not the one whose supposed to go away. Read the Title: "Men Unite!" UNsolved |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by pattik on Jul 31st, 2005, 3:14pm Sorry, Frank & Co....I just had to finally jump in...although most of my guy jokes have already been posted :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Jul 31st, 2005, 5:23pm Dunno where the ladies get the idea us blokes are somehow lacking in tolerance. Given that the site is really for Cheads and we even let them put their posts on the main boards. I mean, it's not as though we simply restrict them to Supporter's Corner. Fair dinkum, I reckon they're the ones being a little intolerant. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Jul 31st, 2005, 6:39pm Reporting successful launch and completion of Plan 8 in all sectors. They will never know what hit them. Guys...Be afraid. Be very afraid. Oh, and while you are out shopping...you might want to buy some more underwear....soon yours won't fight quite right anymore. All's fair... Over and Out. DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Jul 31st, 2005, 7:29pm http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/mallmap.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 31st, 2005, 8:38pm on 07/31/05 at 11:06:16, LeLimey wrote:
Yikes!!!! Oh the confusion, Would I become a woman, pretending to be a man, who would have to wait in line a the woman's bathroom, that fixes his/her own car, that still does all the disgusting man stuff that women dislike? Or would I remain a man, pretending to be a women, who's really a man, that can't use either bathroom, that can no longer fix his/her own car or do any disgusting man stuff? Come to think of it if I don't have to shave every morning - Stirr up them dark forces and fire away. I'm getting too old to worry about manhood anyway. ;) P.S. If you and my wife ever got together - men everywhere would rue the day. I wish we could have made Dallas - There's a lot of good folks we would like to meet. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by E-Double on Jul 31st, 2005, 8:45pm on 07/31/05 at 17:23:36, AussieBrian wrote:
[smiley=laugh.gif] Completely followed ya until you said Fair dinkum What the hell is that?? ;;D I thought we learned @ the Dallas Convention that women only get Tension and menstrual HA [smiley=curtain.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 31st, 2005, 8:49pm on 07/31/05 at 20:45:03, E-Double wrote:
Uh oh... did somebody make sure that Jo got the manual, and the fork? |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 31st, 2005, 8:50pm on 07/31/05 at 20:45:03, E-Double wrote:
You forgot post-marital.. duh!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 31st, 2005, 8:52pm on 07/31/05 at 18:39:33, Donna_D. wrote:
Gentlemen...... If women have managed to band together for a common cause and have hatched a plan - we're DOOMED! What am I talking about, no two women have ever agreed on anything. Relax. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by E-Double on Jul 31st, 2005, 8:53pm [smiley=yikes.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] :-* [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Jul 31st, 2005, 8:57pm Tom, Tom, Tom... have 15 pages of this thread and umpty ump other threads here taught you nothing?!! Read you numpty! If there is one thing cluster women do its support each other! Me and my cluster sisters have got each others backs and your arse honey! Be Afraid!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Jul 31st, 2005, 9:03pm on 07/31/05 at 20:57:41, LeLimey wrote:
Boys, I'm heading for the bunker - Excuted operation underground. Maintain radio silence - REPEAT - Maintain radio silence. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Jul 31st, 2005, 9:06pm on 07/31/05 at 20:57:41, LeLimey wrote:
Don't forget the forks and the cookbook... http://bestsmileys.com/evil/3.gif |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 31st, 2005, 9:23pm I love my wimmens spunky. Wanna wrestle Helen? |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Linda_Howell on Jul 31st, 2005, 9:56pm Jimi, Jimi, Jimi. I've been gone for 4 days only to come back to see your drivel has turned into 15 pages. :o Give my regards to the "WIDOW RUTHIE" [smiley=laugh.gif] Linda |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 31st, 2005, 10:23pm Well Linda. I didn't think that my call to arms would morph into 15 pages. But I should have known, by the time wimmens quit whining and squalling and yapping it would go 15 pages at least. My guess is that it will go longer. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Jul 31st, 2005, 10:25pm on 07/30/05 at 18:59:07, sassy_lady wrote:
http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv05MqMlfdF-CXd3B0GkO13PUGQKpxSdRKDVC76o7q6TGDV-x1dVgnsLZYBM_RUgK3YsYSxpWGJgmgRgaOnND_t3RLg1mTdPjVelxkEI553uRMQ OK.. Jimi, Tom & all the men involved in this thread... You guys are going to have to do something SOON.. I need my truck to get to work, I am going to have to make some sorta deal with the [smiley=deal2.gif] I can not walk to work, too Far and way too Hott. I will be waiting for the secret code .. ok.. P.S. Still hiding uner the bed... [smiley=eek.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 31st, 2005, 10:42pm GOT THE THICK FORK, PLUS I FOUND THE RUSTY HACK SAW!!! STILL NO MANAUL ::) ::) WILL GET THE BOYS BY MORNING ::) ::) STILL GOT CHARLIE UNDER THE BED, LIKE HIM THERE, CAN SIT ON HIS FACE ANYTIME I WANT. [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=lick.gif] [smiley=mellow.gif] ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Jul 31st, 2005, 10:48pm Jolene, give Charlie back his keys so he can go to work in the morning and make money so you can lie on the couch and watch your soaps and log 15 pages with your clustersisters.. And quit typing in CAPS, it's giving me a headache. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by alienspacebabe on Jul 31st, 2005, 10:51pm section 17 in well underway.... travel to xxxxxxxxx has commenced..... tweezers, waxing kit, and chainsaw made it though customs.... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Jul 31st, 2005, 11:30pm on 07/31/05 at 22:48:48, Jimi wrote:
SORRY, HATE SOAPS, GOT ENOUGH DRAMA IN MY LIFE WITH OUT WATCHING MADE UP ONES!! MY MOTHERS BACK WINDOW GOT BROKE OUT TO NIGHT BY 10 TO 12 BLACK KIDS RUNNING THE STREETS, FOLLOWED THE KID A CROSS THE STREET HOME, PICKING ON HIM, MOM TOLD THEM TO LEAVE THAT SHE WAS CALLING THE COPS, SO THEY PICKED UP A COUPLE BRICKS & THROW THEM IN HER VAN, THEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT MY SON, MY 3 NEPHEWS, & 3 OF THEIR FRIENDS WERE THERE, MOM YELLED THE BOYS CAME RUNNING, THE OTHER BOYS RAN, ONE EVEN LEFT HIS $150.00 BIKE BEHIND, SO THEN I GET A CALL & HAVE TO GO TO MY MOTHERS HOUSE AT 9:30 PM. SO DRAMA GOT MY OWN!!! PLUS I HAVE MY OWN BUSINESS, I ALSO WORK, BEEN RUNNING MY OWN HOUSE CLEANING BUSINESS FOR 4 YEARS, MAKE AS MUCH AS CHARLIE IN THE WINTER MONTHS, SOME TIMES MORE!!!!! ANY HOW, NO !! & I LIKE THE CAPS!! & I LIKE IT WHEN HE BEGS!! PFDAN TO ALL!! ::) ::)JOLENE ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ClusterChuck on Aug 1st, 2005, 12:18am on 07/31/05 at 23:30:55, sassy_lady wrote:
This is a fun thread, but CAPS are considered shouting. It is rude, annoying and hard to read. Please stop. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Aug 1st, 2005, 12:22am Really, fellas, I think Charlie's got the right of it and we should ease up a little. We've just got to rememberber that they're women - not real people. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Aug 1st, 2005, 12:22am on 08/01/05 at 00:18:46, ClusterChuck wrote:
Kinda like Chuck... ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ClusterChuck on Aug 1st, 2005, 12:26am on 08/01/05 at 00:22:14, AussieBrian wrote:
Just inferior beings after all ... Just whinners .. After all, we all know: WDGCH Freekin meegrainers!!! Chuck |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 1st, 2005, 6:35am WDGCH!!! LMAO!! OMG, Chuck.... You had to go and drop the "WDGCH Bomb" :o |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 7:31am on 07/31/05 at 21:23:40, Jimi wrote:
No problem Jimi.. wanna eat hospital food through a straw?! ;;D on 08/01/05 at 00:26:34, ClusterChuck wrote:
Oh and Chuckiebabycutiepoos... MENWHOTHINKWDGCHDONTGETLAID!!!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 1st, 2005, 8:51am OK Ladies. Lesson 1: Look behind you before you start driving backwards. Lesson 2: If you decide that you have to make an energency stop, use the little square pedal. Pushing harder on the long skinny pedal makes your car go faster. Yes, This car was driven by a female. I was at that Library when it happened. http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b4d735b3127cce9a756902f02b00000016108EZs2rJy0ba |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 1st, 2005, 8:54am OMG!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! In all fairness, I have to say that my wife is a better driver than I am. I've wrecked five cars in the past sixteen years, and most of them, in spectacularly flamboyant fashion. i.e. "Damn, Frank!! You actually walked away from that?!?!!?" LMAO! Mari, on the other hand, has never had so much as a fender-bender. Sheesh.... :-[ :P [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 8:55am The Ghost is back and READY TO RHUMBA ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 1st, 2005, 8:58am I think all the "clutter head" babes are taking a break or they got scared off. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 1st, 2005, 9:10am Oh, those custardheads will be back... [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Sandy_C on Aug 1st, 2005, 9:11am Shhh! Keep it quiet girls. They don't know where we are. Is everybody in position? Ok, synchronize watches and be ready for the signal. http://www.clusterheadaches.com/public_html/yabbimages/smileys/gossip.gif |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 9:26am What position? [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=biggrin.gif] [smiley=biggrin.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=cool2.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=girlflash.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 1st, 2005, 9:29am on 08/01/05 at 09:10:44, Frank_W wrote:
It might take a while. I think they got distracted by a 10% off sale at the chocolate shop. And then, They'll have to stop at the shoe store next door when they're done. After the shoes, They'll have to stop and get some matching lingerie so they can look nice for the next pic of the day thread. After all, you know they need to make up for the 15 pages of nonsense here. OK clutter head girls, make sure you pick some nice colors. ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by pattik on Aug 1st, 2005, 9:41am A place for everything, and everything in its place 8) http://www.eiu.edu/~history/ha/exhibits/2004/100_1333.JPG |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 1st, 2005, 9:44am on 08/01/05 at 09:41:21, pattik wrote:
OK honey, I know you locked yourself IN the car but I don't think you'll need all of these tools to get out. Can you find the little button thingy that has a picture of a lock by it? OK press that one. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 9:45am on 08/01/05 at 09:41:21, pattik wrote:
And that is what they use for making dinner imagine how confused they will be trying something difficult ;;D ;;D ;;D ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by pattik on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:09am on 08/01/05 at 09:45:12, ghost62 wrote:
Well, at least women have progressed beyond Neanderthalism and eating everything with your hands as males do. And we know how to use a fork and which fork to use..[smiley=mellow.gif] http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y71/northcolor/place_settings320.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:18am Insist on using 5 forks per person for 1 meal and then complain about how much has to be washed after dinner. ;;D Last I knew, the same fork works on all kinds of food. Fingers work pretty good too. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:18am Quite simple, actually. Start from the outside and work your way in. Keep the napkin in your lap. Do not switch hands back and forth between fork and knife. If you are running to the lavatory, place your napkin in the seat of your chair. If you are finished with your meal, place your napkin on the table. If you are leaving the table for a moment, the silverware is placed at 9 o'clock and 3 o'clock on your plate. If you are finished, then both utensils are placed together on your plate. No elbows on the table, sit up straight, don't lean over your plate, chew with your mouth closed, and don't talk with your mouth full. Your Somewhat Slightly Evolved Friend, -Frank |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by seasonalboomer on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:18am on 08/01/05 at 10:09:02, pattik wrote:
And thus cemented their role as being needed to wash the dishes. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:23am Sorry boys I got distracted by this cute little cylinder of o2 that I just KNEW would match the pain in my head and I had to have it. You know how us women are when we see something we want huh?! ;) Anyway I'm back now and I'm not taking prisoners so who's first?! :o |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by pattik on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:32am on 08/01/05 at 10:18:25, Frank_W wrote:
Mari's etiquette book....keep reading [smiley=laugh.gif] Quote:
It was MALE sliversmiths who plotted to increase flatware usage and continued male dominance by coming up with new utensils. It proved to be futile anyway. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:36am on 08/01/05 at 10:23:47, LeLimey wrote:
Oh OH can I be first ... but I still need to know if I have moved up this lists all of them ..... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:42am on 08/01/05 at 10:18:25, Frank_W wrote:
Slightly evolved.. is that like Frankton?? ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:43am on 08/01/05 at 10:36:04, ghost62 wrote:
And the winner of the 2005 Darwin award is...... GHOST!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:44am See them wimmins cant respond when its invited .... when a man is invited we just as nike says do it .... ;;D ;;D ;;D wimmins have to ponder the issue and possible reprocussion of the act ... ladies just do it !!!!!!!come on it aint that hard ... or at least that is what she sd .... ;) ;;D ;;D ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:46am on 08/01/05 at 10:43:57, LeLimey wrote:
I would like to thank everyone out there for this award ..... but mostly I would like to thank our Custard Babes ........ ;;D ;;D ;;D ;) ;) ;) [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:55am Congrats Ghost. It looks like the clutter head chicks have chosen you for the award. Enjoy. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by pattik on Aug 1st, 2005, 11:03am I'm sure us ladies can come up with many,many good nominees from our male CH'ers for the upcoming Darwin awards.....Chuck comes immediately to mind with his potty seat incident ;;D That could take a person out of the gene pool, for sure. And then there's Frank with his Jeep antics, and who knows what foolish things he has done with his dive gear. ;;D And Pat, with his electrified guitars, and who knows what else... [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Aug 1st, 2005, 12:11pm on 08/01/05 at 09:41:21, pattik wrote:
I'm back from the Bunker - NOTE TO SELF - install lights in bunker or take good flashlight next time. Hey I recognize this stuff, yeah - bone saw, skinnin' knife, bonin' knife, filetin' knives, gambrels, knife steel/sharpenin' stones. Who's gloves and towels are these - I get into my work and have no time for such frivolous woman stuff. And what's this little piece of string for? Alright who talked my wife into turning over MY deer processing stuff from MY barn? Darn, I was running such a nice little covert operation here! ;) Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 1st, 2005, 12:19pm on 08/01/05 at 09:41:21, pattik wrote:
Oh, I get to hang them, I know just where to stick them hooks for a good hanging, have to use all of them on one, Plus I got the thick fork with the wide teeth!!! ::) ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Aug 1st, 2005, 12:29pm Sassy, you'r a sick little unit. That's just wrong |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Aug 1st, 2005, 12:58pm on 08/01/05 at 10:42:17, LeLimey wrote:
OHHHH, I missed this one - Sorry Frank... but this was good. Boy if LeLimey wasn't a woman, I'd want her on the winnin' side with us. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Aug 1st, 2005, 1:02pm [quote author=sassy_lady Oh, I get to hang them, I know just where to stick them hooks for a good hanging, have to use all of them on one, Plus I got the thick fork with the wide teeth!!! ::) ::) ::) ::)[/quote] OK - OK - no drooling. EDITED TO ADD - MEN - I think all these CH wimmins are attempting to convert to the winnin' side. Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 1st, 2005, 2:07pm It looks like the girls are starting to panic and desert each other now. I haven't heard a peep out them recently. I guess the guys get the last word. Man... That was to easy. I thought they would put up a little more of a fight. ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 2:15pm Sorry I'm not always at your beck and call Pat.. I ever so 'umbly apologise! LOL Firstly we women will NEVER desert each other! For that matter we won't desert you rotten lot either but only because you're clusterheads. When you're not getting hit it is our God given right to take the mickey out of you 24/7 as you well know! Second. The last word. Sheesh man how long have you been married?!! LMAO.. you think you are EVER getting that?!!! Bugger off!! :-* |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 2:22pm I see the CH BABES ARE BACK ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by pattik on Aug 1st, 2005, 2:25pm on 08/01/05 at 14:07:07, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
Silence is not what it seems.....just stocking up the arsenal. 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 1st, 2005, 2:28pm on 08/01/05 at 14:15:12, LeLimey wrote:
This is starting to get fun. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 2:37pm on 08/01/05 at 14:25:22, pattik wrote:
See lik I sd earlier they have to search for ammo and we come naturally loaded ;) ;;D ;;D ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 3:50pm on 08/01/05 at 14:37:25, ghost62 wrote:
What does that mean Goat? Fart at will?! Believe me, us women have worse weapons than you can imagine! In my time I have used curry, microwaves, toilets, bleach, brake fluid scouring powder toothpaste nappies and green vegetable dye to name but a few. Use your imagination as to how! Think about it sonny... Do you REALLY want to cross me? ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 4:21pm on 08/01/05 at 15:50:41, LeLimey wrote:
Shoot that stuff is just appetizers ... if that is all you gals can come up with then im takn a nap ... ive been poisoned by some of the best and still here 7 sisters that cant cook ... worse than most otc poisons ... 1 actually killed the dog and that was the leftovers after I ate ... ;;D ;;D ;;D ;) 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 4:31pm Goat..There are worse things you can do to a fella than feed him! I'm not convicting myself any more than that out in the open :-X |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 4:49pm on 08/01/05 at 16:31:06, LeLimey wrote:
Aw open convictions are soooo much fun ... ;) ;) ;;D ;;D ;;D :o :o :o :o |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jasmyn on Aug 1st, 2005, 4:50pm on 08/01/05 at 15:50:41, LeLimey wrote:
Ghost, did you really think Helen put all this together as a food recipe? [smiley=huh.gif] O, my gosh, you still have alot to learn! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 4:54pm There is only 1 way to hurt me and yall gals aint even close ... ;;D cause for me it hurts so good comeon baby make it hurt so good [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 4:56pm Goat.. I wouldn't touch you with someone elses!! :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 4:59pm on 08/01/05 at 16:56:14, LeLimey wrote:
Cool grope therapy ;) ;;D :o :o :o :o [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jasmyn on Aug 1st, 2005, 4:59pm Down boy! No masochistic behaviour allowed in the presence of food! :-[ ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:01pm on 08/01/05 at 16:59:32, Jasmyn wrote:
Would Jello be considered food? :o :o 8) ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:02pm on 08/01/05 at 16:59:05, ghost62 wrote:
Psst.. Goat's a necrophiliac... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:04pm on 08/01/05 at 17:02:19, LeLimey wrote:
neck's legs thighs breasts I like all them cuts ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:06pm [smiley=hurl.gif] The things you have to do to be attractive to Ghost.. *sigh*.... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:07pm see yall tomorrow same bat time same bat channel |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Margi on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:09pm wow. This is a lot of information. I'm not sure I know what to do with it all. I left on Friday and we were at about page 9 I think. I see the men have been piddling all over themselves all weekend. Thanks for holding down the fort, Helen. Speaking of piddling, the one thing that does jump out at me after reading this ENTIRE thread, is I see that we need to rename Ghost. He is now, officially, "Ghostie SquatsToPee". Interesting. Kinda has a good rhythm to it, don't you think? Ghostie Squatstopee. Mmmhmm. I like it. p.s. Helen, I see you got away with calling him Goat. Nice shot, darlin. I don't think he caught that. ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:09pm See you Thursday Goat.. I'm sure my sisters will keep you in your place! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jasmyn on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:12pm Yuck, I never want to see jello (we call it jelly) again after THAT image hit my mind! About: Psst.. Goat's a necrophiliac... I really think the best thing we can do for Ghost is to put his scrawny lill' neck into a rope until he feels no slack. ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:29pm on 08/01/05 at 17:09:24, Margi wrote:
DDSS springs to mind Margi! Nice to have you back, you have been missed except maybe by GSTP but we won't worry to much about that now will we?! ;) Jas we call it jelly too and speaking of GSTP (I do like that Margi!! LOL).... hanging's too good and far too quick! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Kirk on Aug 1st, 2005, 5:38pm 17 pages on this non productive theme. WOW I think perhaps you folks have too much time on yer hands. [smiley=twocents.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Aug 1st, 2005, 8:50pm Kirk doesn't realize that the future of all MEN kind is ridin' on the outcome of this epic battle. ;) I'm not even turnin' my back on the wife any more - she's be developing this evil grin that gives me goosebumps every time I see it. Oh wait, I'm standing infront the the A/C duct..... Ok no more goosebumps but man that's one evil grin. [smiley=sgrin.gif] Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Aug 1st, 2005, 9:02pm I've altered Den's computer. She doesn't even know this thread exists. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 1st, 2005, 10:04pm on 08/01/05 at 21:02:31, AussieBrian wrote:
8) Or so you think....Den has that sector completely under control...I love it when a plan comes together. DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Linda_Howell on Aug 1st, 2005, 11:41pm Quote:
Me too. A harmless ::) post by Jimi has brought out the real rats from the woodwork. at least I know now, who NOT to trust. Linda |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 12:39am http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/poof.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 6:28am Something else that really irritates me, when I'm sitting in the recliner with a cold one and remote and I have to get up and remind the wife that my yard is not a race track, the lawn tractor will turn other ways than just left, you have to mow in straight lines opposite each other. It's the least she can do, I have a hard day at work, chatting with all of you and when I get home I just want to relax. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 2nd, 2005, 7:16am Frankton? LMAO!! [smiley=laugh.gif] Mari doesn't have an etiquette book! THPPPPPPTH!!!! [smiley=laugh.gif] As for my dive gear... It is, after all, for "going down." LMAO! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 8:16am When I was a little biity boy, my granddaddy gave me this cute little toy, Silver bells hanging on a string, He told me it was my Everybody Ding a ling a ling |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 2nd, 2005, 8:22am on 08/02/05 at 08:16:30, ghost62 wrote:
[smiley=ohjez.gif] Ghost, Ghost, Ghost..... [smiley=nono.gif] I was thinking about joining in..... But.... LAMO.... I'll have a few more [smiley=me&mb.gif] & [smiley=smokin.gif] Then I might feel like showing my [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] PFDAN's to ALL !!! Good Luck Guy's, Looks like we might need it.... [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 2nd, 2005, 8:25am My Ding A Ling My Ding A Ling Let's all play with my Ding A Ling I love that song. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Aug 2nd, 2005, 8:55am I had a DING A LING but have been married too long and can't remember where the wife hid it. ;;D Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 2nd, 2005, 8:57am Speaking of Ding a Lings, It looks like all the babes retreated again. They're no place to be seen. We scared Helen so bad that she went running for Scotland. I guess she feels safer in a place where the guys wear skirts. ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 2nd, 2005, 10:06am ;;D DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 10:11am Not bad but I am sure you can do better .... oh wait you is a wimmin, sorry I over estimated you galz again ... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=bigguns.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] [smiley=beer.gif] [smiley=cowboy.gif] [smiley=curtain.gif] [smiley=spit.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 2nd, 2005, 10:12am Good morning DD. :-* I knew you'd be around soon. ;;D Did you make me any coffee? |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 2nd, 2005, 10:20am The smartest man in the world. http://www.big-boys.com/articles/smartestmaninworld.html |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 2nd, 2005, 10:25am on 08/02/05 at 10:12:05, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
Just don't you pay no nevermind to the lumps... ;) Keep stirring...they will dissapear soon enough. DD More attestation to the simplicity of the male mind... http://www.looniebin-of-jokes.com/pics/positif.gif |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 10:37am little better .. but still way below expectations ... come on wimmins you can do it ;) well I have to try to ecourage you ... I heard it makes ya feel better about yourselves .... and after all it is all about the feelings ..... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by pattik on Aug 2nd, 2005, 11:18am on 08/02/05 at 08:25:41, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
...and the facination NEVER ENDS, right ladies? ;;D http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y71/northcolor/facination.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 11:46am Hell no the fascination never ends. Why the hell would it? That is Gods gift to both sexes. You wimmins think you hold all the power in that holster God gave you but us men really know the truth, we just let you wimmens think you have the power so that we don't get into discussions like this. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 2nd, 2005, 12:03pm ...we had better make DAMN sure it stays healthy... I propose this... http://www.looniebin-of-jokes.com/pics/mangram.jpg[ I can hear the sound of wincing from here! ;;D DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 2nd, 2005, 12:15pm [smiley=JAW_DROP.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 12:39pm Wait I want one of them machines. Oh by the way does it vibrate and heat up? ;;D ;;D ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=bigguns.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=headbanger.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] [smiley=guyflash.gif] [smiley=lick.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 2nd, 2005, 1:30pm Ok here goes.... I'll be sleeping under the Couch Tonight... http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv048WEZ3Pho7dk7YpjguVNXRYj1EGI71J6NA92ZAniTlfB_RloRaV3gFcNpImgPSLyqrSeIKZ2xU_c6QYd6Z36bCZpcpUMw31bL-jKAXb8mkGQ I could not resist... [smiley=ohjez.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 2nd, 2005, 1:34pm on 08/02/05 at 13:30:59, jcmquix wrote:
ROFLMAO!!! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by broomhilda on Aug 2nd, 2005, 3:03pm A small contribution for my ladies today ;;D 1. Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you. 2. Men are like .......Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are. 3. Men are like ........Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them. 4. Men are like .......Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why. 5. Men are like ......Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like ....Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say. 7. Men are like ...Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off. 8. Men are like ........Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature. 9. Men are like ......Mascara .... They usually run at the first sign of emotion. 10. Men are like .......Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while. 11. Men are like .... Snowstorms ..... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. 12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright. 13. Men are like ...Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 3:32pm 1. Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you. we try 2. Men are like .......Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are. gravity s**ks even for the ladied bra stress test anyone? 3. Men are like ........Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them. and that is bad ? 4. Men are like .......Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why. you know why just afraid to admit it ..... [smiley=laugh.gif] 5. Men are like ......Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips. again and that is bad? 6. Men are like ....Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say. only cause gals never tell the truth they trust noone 7. Men are like ...Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off. with any luck ;;D 8. Men are like ........Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature. once again and that is bad? 9. Men are like ......Mascara .... They usually run at the first sign of emotion. ok everyone and that is bad? 10. Men are like .......Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while. once we are done ladies you are on your own. [smiley=laugh.gif] 11. Men are like .... Snowstorms ..... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. but we dont mind 12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright. hey guys we still got them fooled 13. Men are like ...Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped. that is what we tell ya till we are ready ;;D ;) 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jasmyn on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:03pm on 08/02/05 at 15:32:19, ghost62 wrote:
Ghost, ready for what exactly? Ready when you know you lost and the women won? Ready to accept defeat, admit you were wrong, say sorry, bring us a beer and chuck out the garbage? ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:06pm won what the only thing wimmims won is the privalage to do dishes and to get me a beer NOW!!!! ;) ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:10pm on 08/02/05 at 16:03:17, Jasmyn wrote:
Ghostie, darlin'....I prefer Rum and Coke....now admit defeat and fetch it for me will ya? ;;D DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:15pm on 08/02/05 at 16:10:23, Donna_D. wrote:
Ok here it goes ... De Feet are a sore, now rub them and get me a BEER ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jasmyn on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:18pm on 08/02/05 at 16:10:23, Donna_D. wrote:
And while you're at it Ghostie, darlin' , DD and I would like some suntan lotion, the towels and a fan. A male fan will do just fine. Thanks, you're a :-* superstar! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:19pm Ghost... Something tells me that you don't "get much" if any... I don't get beer, unless I am already up getting a drink for myself... And you have to "qualify" to receive one of MY foot rubs... Yep. ;) DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jasmyn on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:21pm on 08/02/05 at 16:15:05, ghost62 wrote:
Rubbing in your ... De Feet, will be my absolute pleasure sweetie. ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:28pm Be careful Men! Is everyone accounted for? http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/evilgirl.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:36pm http://www.azimut2001.com/images/sfondi/film/ghostbusters.jpg ;) DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:39pm Shoot ya got to hit this one first .... NEVER WILL HAPPEN!!!!!!!! typical wimmins cant consentrate on anything very long ... while they are pondering that would one of yall GET ME A BEER [smiley=laugh.gif] ;;D ;) 8) 8) 8) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jasmyn on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:45pm on 08/02/05 at 16:39:34, ghost62 wrote:
DD I'm pondering that this one will fit quite nicely in a beercan. ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 2nd, 2005, 4:49pm on 08/02/05 at 16:45:42, Jasmyn wrote:
make sure it is a big can and it is full. i'll drink my way in ok. ;;D ;;D ;;D ;) [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Aug 2nd, 2005, 5:35pm Young King Arthur was imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom if he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to to answer, but if after a year he was unable to answer he would be put to death. The question?... What do women really want? To Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition. Arthur returned to his kingdom and polled everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester, no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many advised him to consult the old witch, but the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch, who agreed to answer the question, but he would first have to agree to her price first. This was to marry Sir Lancelot the most noble of Knights and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked, hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage and made obscene noises. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice for the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants.... is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch were married in a beautiful ceremony in which Lancelot proudly proclaimed his love for the witch. As the honeymoon approached Lancelot prepared himself for a horrific experience as he entered the bed chamber. But, instead found the most beautiful woman he had ever seen before him. Astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The witch replied that since he had been so noble and kind to her as a witch, she would henceforth only be her horrible deformed self half the time and a beautiful maiden the other half. "Which would yoy prefer? Beautiful during the day...or night?" asked the witch. Lancelot pondered his predicament. A beautiful woman to impress his fellow knights during the day and foul witch in the privacy of his castle by night? Or foul witch during the day, and beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with by night? Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch had provided to Arthur's question, dropped to one knee and answered; 'I will live in eternal happiness with any choice that you make." Upon hearing this, the witch announced she would be beautiful during all hours because Lancelot had given her charge of her own life. The moral of this story is.... If you want to keep things from getting really ugly.... give a woman what she wants. [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=confused.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jimi on Aug 2nd, 2005, 6:00pm That was then..........this is now! Today if you want to give a woman what she wants, you only have to pick up a charge card at WalMart and all will be well. (Remind me to quit starting threads.....of course I could shut it down, since I started it and it is becoming painfully aware that the wimmens have brought a knife to a gunfight.) They sure are pretty though............ |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Melissa on Aug 2nd, 2005, 6:22pm JIMI!!! What have you DONE???? 19 pages?? [smiley=JAW_DROP.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 2nd, 2005, 9:15pm http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv05Jf0RWW-QmeQZmifgE5TK-kP_7STyFI6lzs3bZQ3Eh6H5vXXg1fKbwYFEEmVSA3ZNH1vb2S_IXxS-pK7OOpdrUnQzuIngo_ySODsCnGOydtQ WHY MEN HAVE TWO HANDS !!! [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] who knew ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 2nd, 2005, 9:17pm http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv04vU7UzFzaG-fAIL6vEyM0OGB9xjHD_VZC1_aOy-bGJSkGmWKROHnEyJCeKJwupNnsk2LOhpgjrLCsnKyEcdRZCA_4p6LAHAiFhET6OcqS_Ww MALE BRAIN ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 2nd, 2005, 9:20pm http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv07bPR1yDmQXKZatGWfg0UaLKt1Z4FIBINbIjLYqeyVC9F6JjM6tbvAIoyApDDKNKlGAb1xXI7zeZvPd6vL36Ka_HbpA8XvUrs0zku55uhxwqA & HE'S ON OUR SIDE !! IT'S HE CUTE LADYS, NOT LIKE THE BOYS & THEIR LITTLE TOYS !! [smiley=laugh.gif] ::) [smiley=laugh.gif] ::) [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 3rd, 2005, 6:55am I wanna kick Fluffy in the face with my combat boots, and then stuff his azz down the garbage disposal. Damn, I hate small dogs that have an attitude! >:( |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 3rd, 2005, 7:24am on 08/02/05 at 21:15:50, sassy_lady wrote:
..."Mom... I'll show you one more time how to use the remote... Then I have to go potty".... ;;D ;;D ::) ::) [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Aug 3rd, 2005, 7:49am And I really thought the Ladies would want the last word on this one! Ah, well. Goes to prove what us blokes have known all along. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:07am on 08/03/05 at 06:55:49, Frank_W wrote:
Frank, are you having a bit of a nicotene fit this morning? |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:19am on 08/03/05 at 08:07:57, giffy76 wrote:
No. Little dogs that have an attitude ALWAYS piss me off. >:( [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:22am I have to agree with you, little yippy dogs are annoying but the garbage disposal? You know you'r gonna have to clean that shit out after you do it. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:23am on 08/03/05 at 08:22:07, giffy76 wrote:
Fine. The blender will do nicely. :( >:( [smiley=laugh.gif] (and I can wash THAT out with a garden hose!) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:33am on 08/03/05 at 08:23:42, Frank_W wrote:
I have to agree with you, little yippy dogs are annoying but the garbage disposal? You know you'r gonna have to clean that shit out after you do it. http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv04ki-ZiX7bDXod3_7ZdLS__fmQIRClVSjQwD-I_RVU-zHtHzk4La-L7X0CFu0x2qBUFC28tIG8505s9BzdQfC45bGR4QJvuksudUClh1R6-Fw http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv04ukUQYcMaN7fX577PVClO3AWEIvp5J9sOpXPSI6lYkbSx61GJOSkvfluWSqa3s1Ml7RddB3W8SQhOrkIealE0YByTWSrSlNT3Ybyk4MAqu8g http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv04V3tbYnTW6sZ1BDnm0ECwk1JPffgMi3_FzMfwMZpu205i1Z8yjTkbhw84FPjOTXzvKojaia1r5eA6llzeDcenZssyzEAdJcsW7aQ3peAr08g to both with love ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:41am Guys you are doing me proud now you are getting the wimminz agreeing with you in my absence ..... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] GREAT THEY DONT EVEN KNOW WHEN THEY ARE COOKED DO THEY? And speaking of cooking wimminz get me some breakfast and a BEER. ;) ;;D ;) ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 3rd, 2005, 8:59am on 08/03/05 at 08:41:46, ghost62 wrote:
DD made me the most awesome coffee yesterday. She promised to make me a complete breakfast this morning. That must be why she is not here yet. I was gonna have Helen help her but she made up some excuse about going to Scotland or San Francisco or some place where guys wear skirts. ;;D BTW: I hate yippy dogs too but I'd take 10 of them as opposed to 1 evil cat. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 9:07am That all you got Sassy? What's wrong hens? Your gang leader goes to Scotland and youall lie quietly in leu of her return? |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 3rd, 2005, 9:07am Careful, Pat: You're going to start getting hate-mail from Ueli, if you keep making jokes about cats. ::) [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by nani on Aug 3rd, 2005, 9:12am on 08/03/05 at 09:07:34, giffy76 wrote:
Oh no you DIDN'T.... calling us hens will surely get you on MY list.... Off with his head!!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 3rd, 2005, 9:15am on 08/03/05 at 09:07:34, giffy76 wrote:
No, Have some new under wear for you boys & toys, this way you can all play there nicely!! ::) ::) ::) http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv07m24Cdw25lMl0xRsLSN0dkZtTZxriaofCWc8_A1daLXWofOrJPY2bZ3AMj5fZBC8SfBiB7AYJiMjGnqEN_Jq0bE3WdQDCq3I7OeMB8pVQwbA Ok got to go playing over for now, see ya boys ;;D ;;D ::) ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 9:19am on 08/03/05 at 09:07:59, Frank_W wrote:
And No backing from the old timers or at least some of them. ;) ;;D I guess we can pick a topic and start slammin people whenever thay cross the line .... ill pick hhuuumm lets see got it ... ill keep it a seceret till it comes up. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 9:21am on 08/03/05 at 09:12:39, nani wrote:
Lists we dont care about no stinking lists .... ;;D ;;D ;;D ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 3rd, 2005, 9:32am on 08/03/05 at 09:07:59, Frank_W wrote:
It wouldn't be the first time I got pounced on by him and I can promise that it won't be the last. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 2:11pm ;;D ;;DHey guys looks like thems hens is chichen .... ;;D ;;D I they is still aroung then one of thems need to geet us a BEER ... [smiley=beer.gif] [smiley=beer.gif] |
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Title: Had enough yet, boys? Post by Donna_D. on Aug 3rd, 2005, 2:23pm Nope, Ghostie...not being chicken...being sneaky. I just peeked in through your window and snapped this picture....seems that one picture IS worth a thousand words. Except in your case 999 of those words are D'OH!!! http://www.ajokes.com/images/pictures/pic4/homerbeer.jpg ;;D DD |
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Title: Re: Had enough yet, boys? Post by sassy_lady on Aug 3rd, 2005, 2:37pm on 08/03/05 at 14:23:29, Donna_D. wrote:
[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] thats great, love it DD [smiley=laugh.gif] ;;D [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 2:43pm not bad but pretty origional ... doh sp. hey I resemble that ;;D ;;D ;;D I was right brought the hens back by callin them chichen. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 3rd, 2005, 3:18pm Hens - chickens..... What's the diff??? Ghost.. Looking at that picture, I am sure now that we are long lost twins. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 3:25pm Cool 2 time the assault on thems wimminz ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 3rd, 2005, 3:35pm You're gonna have to work double and cover for me next week. I'm leaving to go camping for a week on Friday night. Don't let those wimminz get out of hand. :D And dont let them slack off on bringing you cold beers either. I'm sure DD and Helen should be able to keep up if they help each other out. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 3rd, 2005, 3:46pm See we must be twins I will be gone most of week too travlin to St.Louis |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 3rd, 2005, 3:54pm That's almost scary. I'l only be a couple hundred miles from you in Southern Indiana. I guess Frank will have to work triple time to cover both of us. BTW: Frank is our long lost triplet brother. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 4th, 2005, 3:50am on 08/03/05 at 09:32:16, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
You're THAT good huh Pat???! ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 4th, 2005, 3:55am on 08/03/05 at 15:35:26, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
on 08/03/05 at 15:46:49, ghost62 wrote:
on 08/03/05 at 15:54:59, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
The Three Stooges.. Only THEY were funny... Hello Boils I'm Back!! LOL |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Aug 4th, 2005, 4:53am Ah, well. It was nice while it lasted, I guess. And now you've had the last word on the subject we might see things get back to normal. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 4th, 2005, 5:03am Absolutely Bri... you finished mopping that floor yet??? |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by AussieBrian on Aug 4th, 2005, 5:11am Just about. You know the old saying, of course, "Women's work is never done." It's 'cos you never bloody do it! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 4th, 2005, 6:54am OMG, Brian!! ROFLMAO!!!! [smiley=laugh.gif] Welcome back, Helen! (You rotten thing!) [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 4th, 2005, 8:37am on 08/04/05 at 03:50:02, LeLimey wrote:
It's not really that hard to get pounced on here. You just have to know how to get it done. For example, if you mention that you spank your child when they mis-behave, you will have at least one person all over you trying to get a rise out of you by calling you names. If you spell jonny with a capital 'J', you will never be allowed to forget it. If you have the gall to mention the name of God in a good way, you will be ridiculed by more than one person for admitting to having such a weakness as a belief in God. If you so much as show an inkling of an interest in anything that is not scientifically proven and completely documented, you will be treated like a senseless child with no common sense. If you call any of these people on their actions, they usually back down pretty quick. Now... Where was I??? Oh yeah!!!! Did you and DD get my coffee ready yet Helen? ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Aug 4th, 2005, 8:45am No good, God fearin, Child beatin, Alternative med usin hippies. Yes, that is sarcasm. LOL |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 4th, 2005, 8:49am Damn hippies... *mutter mutter* [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 4th, 2005, 9:16am on 08/04/05 at 03:55:20, LeLimey wrote:
Hey guys I missed it but the lead hen is back to peck at us .... ;) ;) ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by giffy76 on Aug 4th, 2005, 9:40am She sure is a mean little pecker. LOL |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 4th, 2005, 10:35am on 08/04/05 at 09:40:09, giffy76 wrote:
:o [smiley=ohjez.gif] (hiding under my desk at work.... [smiley=smokin.gif]) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 4th, 2005, 12:25pm on 08/04/05 at 08:37:06, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
Oh yes Pat baby.. I've got your coffee! I just need to flush and I'll be right through... |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 4th, 2005, 12:56pm Hey.. I'll pass on the coffee, I want my Code Red Mt.Dew (I think its keeps the BEAST away during the day). :-/ Where did all the other guys go..... (Still hiding under my desk.... :-X [smiley=smokin.gif]) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 4th, 2005, 1:01pm not to far was at lunch but thems wimminz forgot to bring me MY BEER ... come on hens get to cluckn ... ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Kirk on Aug 4th, 2005, 1:17pm 21 pages, 510 posts on this subject. We need to get a life. [smiley=smokin.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 4th, 2005, 1:19pm on 08/04/05 at 13:17:18, Kirk wrote:
You aint just whistling Dixie either brother. but it does help kill time. ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Aug 4th, 2005, 2:27pm http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/remote.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Linda_Howell on Aug 4th, 2005, 2:37pm Quote:
What makes you think we're not backing them? In fact some of us have taken a crash course in Guerilla warfare whilst this was all going on. First thing I learned: How to put out a "HIT" on Jimi for starting this. I know this guy named Vito...... We're also waiting for you men who want all this beer to get stinking drunk... so we can then let you make a spectacle of yourself. At which time we will laugh our asses off. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 4th, 2005, 2:54pm http://www.familymanweb.com/pic31329.gif This is why I'm staying out of this and hiding under the bed.... I still have my [smiley=deal2.gif] [smiley=smokin.gif] [smiley=jammin.gif].... I hope this ends soon though..... Good Luck... [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 4th, 2005, 2:57pm http://www.anvari.org/db/fun/Gender/Boyfriend_Remote.jpg What you don't realize...Is we stole the batteries out of your remote!! We like to watch that look that steals over your little faces when you repeatedly press the button to no avail...eventually rising from your seat to walk closer to the TV to see if THAT will make it work... *snicker* ;;D DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 4th, 2005, 3:05pm on 08/04/05 at 14:57:09, Donna_D. wrote:
[smiley=eek5.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 4th, 2005, 3:20pm Pat, If it weren't for men like you.... Women like us wouldn't NEED to run down all those batteries.... 8) DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 4th, 2005, 3:21pm Better get some more powerful ones them little triple a batteries aint gonna cut it anyway .... besides hens dont need no batteries ..... ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Donna_D. on Aug 4th, 2005, 3:31pm on 08/04/05 at 15:21:18, ghost62 wrote:
This isn't a SIZE comparison, Ghostie... ...but I can see how you might become confused ;) DD |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Linda_Howell on Aug 4th, 2005, 3:33pm Quote:
and Ghost?....you're getting really redundant and repetitive....must be all that beer you're not getting or is it something else you're NOT getting. Sheesh! Cannot imagine why. [smiley=tongue2.gif] I'm outta this thread. Too long to download with present dial-up. lemme see? Ghost posts=450 mine 3 or 4....yep. Not worth the time. [smiley=gocrazy.gif] Linda |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 4th, 2005, 3:47pm Its not size its power here let me explain > My First Taser Experience > > My wife is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to "Well, I have out done myself once again." No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a Lifetime movie in the near future. > > Here goes... > > Last weekend I spied something at the pawn shop that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled). I bought something really cool for my wife. > > The occasion was our 18th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. > > What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. > > You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool! > > Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two >AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop! > > Yipeeeeee! > > I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to her what that burn spot on the face of her microwave is. > > > > Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, etc., etc. > > There I sat in my recliner, my dog looking on intently (trusting > little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not the dog) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. > > I must admit I thought about zapping the dog for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. He is such a sweet pup, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? > > Was I wrong to think that? It seemed reasonable to me at the time. > > So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in the other. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. > > All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "No friggin' way!" > > Friggin' way - trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself. > > What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, the dog looking on with his head cocked to one side as to say, "Don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such ! a tiny l il' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). > > I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 4th, 2005, 3:48pm > > (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight-- always 20-20. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya just hate that?) I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY*********! DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!! > > I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, >picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over >and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. The dog was standing over me making sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to himself, "Do it again, do it again!" > > (NOTE: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Taser, one >note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep into your thigh like yours truly.) > > SON-OF-A-***** that hurt! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as > time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My glasses were on the TV across the room. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. > > By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. They're round, ! kinda hairy, and handsome if I must say so myself. Miss 'em; sure would like to get 'em back. > > Never Touchin' the Taser Again! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Jonny on Aug 4th, 2005, 4:24pm on 08/04/05 at 08:37:06, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
Well well, do you really need to use my name in a post where all you do is whine? Until you get the facts straight please refrain from using my fucking name (See Lindas post above) Man, I never thought you would throw me under the fucking bus, especially when your facts suck! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 4th, 2005, 4:26pm Ghost, buddy old pal, & you say women are stuiped, sorry dude you take the cake & eat it too on that one!!! [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] Don't you watch cops, those only take a 9volt . [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] haven't had a laugh like that it a long while!! [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Langa on Aug 4th, 2005, 8:31pm Damn...this thread just exploded! What ya'll talkin bout anyways??? :D Langa |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Aug 4th, 2005, 8:43pm http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/garage.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 5th, 2005, 7:57am LMAO, Unsolved!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 5th, 2005, 8:54am on 08/04/05 at 15:33:36, Linda_Howell wrote:
I stand corrected..... Sorry jonny. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by rickyshot on Aug 5th, 2005, 8:59am I am sitting here at work crying. This thread is too funny. Ghost You should have had this shit videotaped. You would be rich by now and would not have to look for your balls. You could purchase brand new shiny ones. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Aug 5th, 2005, 8:59am Jeeesssshhhh, Haven't these women folded yet? When will women accept the fact that they will once again fight to a draw in this epic battle? The reason is simple - while women leave the field to tend to their wounds, men stupidly ingore the bleeding and keep fighting - even when they are bleeding to death. Ultimately men will win all the battles but women will win the war by default because there will simply be more of them that survive intact. By nature women will feel sorry for the remaining men and nurse the wounded men back to health. It will soon become obvious that there aren't enough men to go around. Women will begin takin' each other out to secure their man Men will again gain the upper hand and the whole thing will start all over again. Once again the forces of the universe will be in balance and the world can continue spinnin' in a greased groove. [smiley=argue.gif] [smiley=hammer.gif] Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 5th, 2005, 9:40am on 08/05/05 at 08:59:52, burnt-toast wrote:
Now Tom .. that may have happend in days of yore but not no more! These days us women have learned new technology. We have IVF. We don't need all of you just a little bit!! ;) We can cut THOSE off and leave the rest off you bleedin on the battlefield and carry on regardless and you know what we will have then???? A world full of fat happy women and no war!! |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Aug 5th, 2005, 10:27am on 08/04/05 at 16:24:43, Jonny wrote:
No smilies?? [smiley=huh.gif] Man... I must have really pi$$ed you off. Sorry man. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 5th, 2005, 11:49am Things that Make You Go Hmmmm ..... http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv04Ujj0m3dt7B7XM1sMmoAn2jaD5903iaPpmdvC1lLXLY265rjt0qA9OFIMlpursXaeeOEACYvq2yM8R6lRX7lcAnqXLqknON7tktst-0obkCA [smiley=smokin.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by Frank_W on Aug 5th, 2005, 12:14pm on 08/05/05 at 11:49:13, jcmquix wrote:
Uh... Yeah. Apparently. LMAO [smiley=laugh.gif] :-X |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 5th, 2005, 1:33pm Here a few more Cheap shots of WOMEN drivers... while no one is watching... http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv04oYs59WG2twCKc2Qj2aYz3_xQCkrGgzlOoN65-glhXWcu6Gbgm7-jHEfWYwvBBhvij6FgAGjAixX18e304QWWDqcBxrN99s-8x3rJYIj8jgw http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv07-99cDwWZ-WYId3JAXC9wR50MLQ0HJGbZmERiRpx6T460l9dBlqySHYbUc-5dQ5WETQxox2ZBeGLq1F9HH9fxbmjstm0V8VDZVr_C6mj2xcg :o :o :o :o :o [smiley=smokin.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 5th, 2005, 1:48pm He thinks no one is watching, Have a good nights sleep HONEY!!!! ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 5th, 2005, 1:49pm on 08/05/05 at 13:48:06, sassy_lady wrote:
[smiley=ohjez.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 5th, 2005, 2:45pm Charlies sleeping in the garden.. neener neener neener neener!!! :P |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 5th, 2005, 3:09pm on 08/05/05 at 14:45:54, LeLimey wrote:
As long as I am not on the list... [smiley=smokin.gif] I am wondering about Ghost's story about the Stun Gun ... Even though me and Jolene were in tears (Laughing) for hours... Look what I found in the news.... Accident at Local Hospitial http://storage.msn.com/x1pxOYwqu4SjF5iohZHoAAhedPNC-fbvhopgMimcugLv06ezlg3MOT1n1T8yOq4YuGHOnvj5RJsxXLrmIMvv9-pxafU8nvm7fjqbIa2NQX3FCZYCh9_E7rMrcsn56YFnT8nFpxe6AB9xfkZ8IuF3iCn9g The patient (name withheld) came in complaining about Cluster Headaches..... [smiley=ohjez.gif] [smiley=nono.gif] [smiley=JAW_DROP.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 5th, 2005, 3:12pm on 08/05/05 at 14:45:54, LeLimey wrote:
I don't have a garden, I DO HAVE A DOG HOUSE!!! ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 5th, 2005, 3:26pm on 08/05/05 at 15:12:26, sassy_lady wrote:
[smiley=ohjez.gif] [smiley=damncomputer.gif] [smiley=smokin.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 5th, 2005, 3:31pm on 08/05/05 at 15:09:32, jcmquix wrote:
silly boy.. you've been on it for so long I've had to write over your name because it was fading. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 5th, 2005, 3:38pm on 08/05/05 at 15:31:04, LeLimey wrote:
I was wondering... Oh well Ghost and Pat will be back in about a week... I will be all forgotten (Gotta go CLEAN the Dog House before it gets dark outside, see if I can get the A/C working in it) [smiley=crash.gif] [smiley=damncomputer.gif] [smiley=crash.gif] [smiley=damncomputer.gif] [smiley=smokin.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Aug 5th, 2005, 4:12pm http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/brains.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 5th, 2005, 4:16pm on 08/05/05 at 16:12:35, unsolved1 wrote:
THE BLONDE FORMERLY KNOWN AS PETER.... sadly the worst part about having a sex change isn't the cut in salary.... its finding out not EVERYTHING is fakeable.. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 5th, 2005, 4:20pm Only got about 1 hr to chase hens and run just when the hens thought it was safe ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by LeLimey on Aug 5th, 2005, 4:26pm on 08/05/05 at 16:20:12, ghost62 wrote:
It isn't us running Ghost you silly clucker.. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by ghost62 on Aug 5th, 2005, 5:22pm as the govenator would say "Ill be bach !!!!" Party on yall ;;D ;) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 5th, 2005, 10:07pm [smiley=ohjez.gif] Why is it when Ghost leaves this thread go to the bottom... [smiley=oops.gif] (Going back to working on the A/C in the Dog House) [smiley=smokin.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by jcmquix on Aug 5th, 2005, 10:22pm on 08/05/05 at 22:17:13, sassy_lady wrote:
[smiley=ohjez.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=smokin.gif] |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by burnt-toast on Aug 6th, 2005, 8:56pm A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. He had been repeating this ritual faithfully for several years but had never asked for anything. On this day the sky suddenly clouded above him and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have prayed faithfully to me without asking for anything, I will permit thee to ask for one miracle." The man thought for a while and finally said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so that people can drive to this island paradise anytime they want." The Lord responded, "Your request is very materialistic! Think of the enormous Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify desires for such worldly things. Take more time and think of something that would be spiritually beneficial to mankind." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, allow men to understand women, how they feel inside, what they're thinking when they give us the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing's wrong", and allow men to make women truly happy." "Were you thinking two or four lanes on that bridge?", was the lords reply Tom |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by deltadarlin on Aug 7th, 2005, 10:31am on 08/02/05 at 16:39:34, ghost62 wrote:
You haven't watched me shoot have you? Take your choice, pistols at close range? Or maybe I should just get the deer rifle and give you a head start. [smiley=laugh.gif] Ladies, have spare firearms and ammunition for those of you who are interested. |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Aug 7th, 2005, 10:40am http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/Men_vs_Women.jpg |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by sassy_lady on Aug 7th, 2005, 12:01pm on 08/07/05 at 10:31:05, deltadarlin wrote:
I'll Take the deer rifle, I like moving targets!! ::) ::) ::) ;;D ;;D ::) |
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Title: Re: Men Unite! Post by unsolved1 on Aug 7th, 2005, 1:09pm http://www.geocities.com/un_solved2004/ladygolf.jpg |
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