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New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
(Message started by: Jimi on Jun 17th, 2005, 8:21pm)

Title: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
Post by Jimi on Jun 17th, 2005, 8:21pm
         THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
         My tire was thumping.

         I thought it was flat

         When I looked at the tire...

         I noticed your cat.

              Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         Heard your wife left you,

         How upset you must be.

         But don't fret about it...

         She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         Looking back over the years

         that we've been together,

         I can't help but wonder...

         "What the hell was I thinking?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         Congratulations on your wedding day!

         Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         How could two people as beautiful as you

         Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         I've always wanted to have

         someone to hold,

         someone to love.

         After having met you ..

         I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

         I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

         I never believed in Hell until I met you.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

         As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

         That you're not here to ruin it for me.

####################################################

         Congratulations on your promotion.

         Before you go...

         Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

         You'll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************

         Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

        (Available only in Tennessee & West Virginia)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

        Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        When we were together,

        you always said you'd die for me.

        Now that we've broken up,

        I think it's time you kept your promise.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

        We have been friends for a very long time ..

        let's say we stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        I'm so miserable without you

        it's almost like you're here.

=====================================================

        Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

        Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

        Your friends and I wanted to do

        something special for your birthday.

        So we're having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

         So your daughter's a hooker,

         and it spoiled your day.

         Look at the bright side,

         it's really good pay.


 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
Post by Langa on Jun 17th, 2005, 9:41pm
[smiley=crackup.gif][smiley=crackup.gif][smiley=crackup.gif]

These are so messed up they're funny!  :-/

Langa

Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
Post by nani on Jun 17th, 2005, 9:49pm
ROTFLMAO!!!  http://bestsmileys.com/lol/18.gif

I love these!!! Jimi, as always, yer killin' me!  [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
Post by burnt-toast on Jun 17th, 2005, 10:18pm
[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=thumb.gif]

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=thumb.gif]


Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
Post by Lizzie2 on Jun 17th, 2005, 10:51pm
ROFL!!  Oh the things we would say if we could, sometimes!!

Thanks Jimi :)

Lizzie :)

Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
Post by LeLimey on Jun 18th, 2005, 5:03am
Jimi... have you thought about opening an online card company? I'd buy most of these in a heartbeat!! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
Post by AussieBrian on Jun 18th, 2005, 5:27am
Having a great time.

Wish you were her.

......................................................................................

I'd have enclosed $20

But I'd already sealed the envelope.

........................................................................................

You won't recognise the house when you visit.

We've moved.

........................................................................................

Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
Post by Candycane on Jun 18th, 2005, 6:39am
[smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=spit.gif] [smiley=spit.gif]

Too funny!! really enjoyed after this hellish week

Thanks guy :)

Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
Post by sandie99 on Jun 18th, 2005, 7:34am
[smiley=crackup.gif]
Thanks! I'm gonna need one of them this afternoon...



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