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Title: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find Post by Jimi on Jun 17th, 2005, 8:21pm THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you .. I've changed my mind. -------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------- I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. #################################################### Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. ******************************************************************************** Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee & West Virginia) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here. ===================================================== Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ |
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Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find Post by Langa on Jun 17th, 2005, 9:41pm [smiley=crackup.gif][smiley=crackup.gif][smiley=crackup.gif] These are so messed up they're funny! :-/ Langa |
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Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find Post by nani on Jun 17th, 2005, 9:49pm ROTFLMAO!!! http://bestsmileys.com/lol/18.gif I love these!!! Jimi, as always, yer killin' me! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find Post by burnt-toast on Jun 17th, 2005, 10:18pm [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=thumb.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=thumb.gif] |
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Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find Post by Lizzie2 on Jun 17th, 2005, 10:51pm ROFL!! Oh the things we would say if we could, sometimes!! Thanks Jimi :) Lizzie :) |
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Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find Post by LeLimey on Jun 18th, 2005, 5:03am Jimi... have you thought about opening an online card company? I'd buy most of these in a heartbeat!! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find Post by AussieBrian on Jun 18th, 2005, 5:27am Having a great time. Wish you were her. ...................................................................................... I'd have enclosed $20 But I'd already sealed the envelope. ........................................................................................ You won't recognise the house when you visit. We've moved. ........................................................................................ |
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Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find Post by Candycane on Jun 18th, 2005, 6:39am [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=spit.gif] [smiley=spit.gif] Too funny!! really enjoyed after this hellish week Thanks guy :) |
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Title: Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find Post by sandie99 on Jun 18th, 2005, 7:34am [smiley=crackup.gif] Thanks! I'm gonna need one of them this afternoon... |
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