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New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> What I'm supposed to think about this?
(Message started by: sandie99 on Jun 16th, 2005, 2:17pm)

Title: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by sandie99 on Jun 16th, 2005, 2:17pm
Hi there, family...

I told you a while ago about a dear friend of mine, who had this huge graduation party for her 200 closest people and didn't include me.

Well, here's an update.

My mum, who has been in Middle Finland at our summer cottage for 2 weeks, returned home today and as she checked the mail she found an invitation.

My friend invited us both to her graduation party!
She' hosting another one.
It's taking place this Saturday, 4pm, at her parents house next door.

This comes as a shock, can't deny that.

Part of me does wonder why to put a card into our mailbox instead of calling or emailing? She has all the contact information!

I must admit that I'm not keen to go... It would mean a 3-hour train journey twice within 2 days. That's not trouble, just cancelling all the plans I have already made is.

And yet my mum wants me to cancel everything in my life and make that journey home so that I can attend that party with her on Saturday.

Before that I must find a gift, card and write a poem...

Now, part of my reaction is my hurt ego talking, I know that. But it IS strange to me NOT to have any direct contact at all for weeks and then suddenly invite me to a party...

Now, tell me you wiseones, what should I think about this?
Mum is going, that is for sure. I'd rather stay at Jyväskylä and spend time with my friends in here, like I have promised before.
Would you cancel your plans with new friends just because your oldest one sends you an invitation...?

Life is full of interesting little plotlines, I tell you that.

Best wishes,
Sanna/sandie99

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Frank_W on Jun 16th, 2005, 2:27pm
I wish I knew what to tell you, Sandie. I have "friends" do this to me so often, I've nearly come to expect it. For whatever reason, one day they stop picking up the phone, stop calling, stop receiving calls, ignore messages, and don't bother answering emails. Nothing like being a "disposible friend," huh?

People are just fucking broken. *sigh*

Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. Good luck. [smiley=hug.gif]

-Frank

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by E-Double on Jun 16th, 2005, 2:32pm
Maybe her parents sent out the invites......

Yes you could have gotten advance notice as a reminder to "save the date" but the invitation IS proper etiquette.....so don't worry either way.

You were unaware of the party so you should have no worries.....Be young and enjoy the moment!

:)

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by notseinfeld on Jun 16th, 2005, 2:46pm
If you do go I wanna write the poem! Topic please.

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by LeLimey on Jun 16th, 2005, 2:47pm
Make new friends but keep the old.
The new are silver but the old are gold....


now go and write that in a card to send her!
Explain nicely that you have already made other plans and what a shame you didn't know sooner as you would have loved to have gone. Tell her you hope you can catch up soon and maybe offer to cook her a special meal or something.

That way you are letting her know you aren't some doormat with no life that can just be treated without respect but you are also being pleasant and not trying to hurt a very long term friendship.

I can't believe I didn't just "do a jonny" tell you to firebomb her house because believe me.. its what I would want to do! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by LeLimey on Jun 16th, 2005, 2:48pm

on 06/16/05 at 14:46:24, notseinfeld wrote:
If you do go I wanna write the poem! Topic please.


I'll do better than a topic.. I'll give you your first line! ;)

I'm having a blast in Jyväskylä ...........

over to you!

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Frank_W on Jun 16th, 2005, 2:51pm
"...It's done wonders for the cardiovascular."

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by notseinfeld on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:00pm
Limmerick baby, you're on!

I'm having a blast in Jyväskylä  
It's done wonders for the cardiovascular
Brain cells be damned,
____ ___ __  ______

_________________________________!


Sample Limmerick:

There's a time machine inside your mind,
To this time and space not confined;
Return to the past,
Destinations are vast,
Or fast forward to see what you find.

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Frank_W on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:08pm

on 06/16/05 at 15:00:18, notseinfeld wrote:
Limmerick baby, you're on!

I'm having a blast in Jyväskylä  
It's done wonders for the cardiovascular
Brain cells be damned,
My liver's been slammed
Tho' it's been nothing short of spectacular!

[quote]Sample Limmerick:

There's a time machine inside your mind,
To this time and space not confined;
Return to the past,
Destinations are vast,
Or fast forward to see what you find.


Brilliant! :)

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by LeLimey on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:14pm
There once was a chappie called Frank
the ugliest FUGLIEST yank....

;)

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by seasonalboomer on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:16pm
Did someone say limerick, woo hoo!

I'm having a blast in Jyväskylä
Of course my hotel is near a missile sila
The ruski's left it
When they ran away in a snit
But we also got their Stolichnaya

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Karla on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:18pm
I agree the card was proper ediquette.  I would simply explain that you already have plans for the day and that she should call you sometime and make plans where the two of you can get together and catch up on old and new things.

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by sandie99 on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:24pm

on 06/16/05 at 14:46:24, notseinfeld wrote:
If you do go I wanna write the poem! Topic please.

Thanks! One problem less... It's supposed to be about graduation, new opportunity for her, hope, dreams, blaah blaah.  ;)
I've written several poems like that in the past. Name the family occasion, I've written a poem of some sort about it. And worse: they expect me to... :(
Oh the pressure...

Helen, believe me, I would have bombed her house. Just few troubles:
1)don't know how to make one
2)she lives in a huge building so I would have killed around 100 innocent others
3)I bet I would have forgotten something and the Finnish CSIs would have caught me...  :(

I haven't decided what to do yet. But I have checked out the train schedules, just in case I decide to go.
According to mum it would be 'embarrassing not to go'. Yeah right... As if she's going to notice! I bet there'll be lots of people in there, again.

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by notseinfeld on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:24pm
There once was a chappie called Frank
the ugliest FUGLIEST yank....
but damn could he write
that wit's outta sight
Guess it's his momma we'll thank

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by sandie99 on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:26pm
BTW, the poem is going nicely... ;)
Can't use the Frank part, though.... ;;D

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by LeLimey on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:29pm

on 06/16/05 at 15:26:24, sandie99 wrote:
BTW, the poem is going nicely... ;)
Can't use the Frank part, though.... ;;D



Funny.. you aren't the first woman to say that.....

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by gMike on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:33pm
I have a slightly different take on stuff like this.  Friends are how you find them, some never disappoint and some do.  They stay my friends because I don't have too many to start with and I respect their judgment in most things.  They wander back and forth through my life and I either make time for them or I don't.  They do the same for me.  If the timing works and we can get together we have a hell of a good time, if not - there's always next time.

I suspect being 56 years old has allowed me to view things from a bit longer perspective and with less "energy".

Mike

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by sandie99 on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:39pm

on 06/16/05 at 15:29:27, LeLimey wrote:
Funny.. you aren't the first woman to say that.....

[smiley=crackup.gif]
Oh Helen, you're cracking me up!!!! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Frank_W on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:39pm

on 06/16/05 at 15:29:27, LeLimey wrote:
Funny.. you aren't the first woman to say that.....


::) S'okay. I have other redeeming qualities, though not as great as my friend Doug, who, by the age of 15, mastered the art of projectile vomiting on command. We all should aspire to such greatness...

/bowing my head in reverence.

LMAO, NotSeinfeld!

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by notseinfeld on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:41pm

Quote:
Funny.. you aren't the first woman to say that.....


That's the funniest thing I've read all week Limey!

Okay, for the poem I like this for graduation so far:

Egomaniacal blubbering fools
Educated in government schools.
The lessons you've learned
Neurons you've burned
Awash in your communist pools

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by sandie99 on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:43pm

on 06/16/05 at 15:39:38, Frank_W wrote:
vomiting on command

Somebody calls that a skill...?! :o
Interesting...

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Frank_W on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:56pm

on 06/16/05 at 15:43:13, sandie99 wrote:
Somebody calls that a skill...?! :o
Interesting...


Trust me: It's very entertaining, especially at "high society" functions, such as graduation parties, karaoke clubs, and open mic night at one of the local pretentious coffee houses. LMAO

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by sandie99 on Jun 16th, 2005, 4:00pm

on 06/16/05 at 15:56:33, Frank_W wrote:
Trust me: It's very entertaining, especially at "high society" functions, such as graduation parties, karaoke clubs, and open mic night at one of the local pretentious coffee houses. LMAO

Hmm.... [smiley=mellow.gif]
Just a thought... How long it lasts to train a kid to do that? Would 15 minutes do? My friend has a nephew I could train to arrange a 'cute' little number at the party... ;;D

Okay, now I'm being horrible... :-X

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Frank_W on Jun 16th, 2005, 4:13pm
Trust me on this, Sandie: There's nothing that says "Hey, congratulations!!" like a three-metre spewed explosion of festive colour!
"You've really earned it!! Congraaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrllllgh!!!" [smiley=hurl.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]


Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by sandie99 on Jun 16th, 2005, 4:20pm

on 06/16/05 at 16:13:20, Frank_W wrote:
Trust me on this, Sandie: There's nothing that says "Hey, congratulations!!" like a three-metre spewed explosion of festive colour!
"You've really earned it!! Congraaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrllllgh!!!" [smiley=hurl.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

I take your word for it...  [smiley=laugh.gif]
If only I could be sure that there'll be kids... :D

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by LeLimey on Jun 16th, 2005, 5:05pm
Its a guy thing Sandie.. do not expect to understand. My son Barney (the 10 yr old) can make "holes" appear in the join between his arm and his shoulder blade.. its disgusting. He is really skinny too and he can suck his stomach in so far it looks like you can see his spine

And he thinks its attractive! Like I said.. its a guy thing ;)

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Candycane on Jun 16th, 2005, 5:16pm

on 06/16/05 at 15:33:15, gMike wrote:
I have a slightly different take on stuff like this.  Friends are how you find them, some never disappoint and some do.  They stay my friends because I don't have too many to start with and I respect their judgment in most things.  They wander back and forth through my life and I either make time for them or I don't.  They do the same for me.  If the timing works and we can get together we have a hell of a good time, if not - there's always next time.


I suspect being 56 years old has allowed me to view things from a bit longer perspective and with less "energy".

Mike





Good Post    Mike

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by burnt-toast on Jun 16th, 2005, 5:51pm
Sandy99 -

I always tend to leans towards overlooking flaws in family and good friends.  We don't get much time here and the time we get to spend with those we care about is precious.

Tom    

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Jonny on Jun 16th, 2005, 6:21pm
Sanna,

I read your post and skipped to the bottom (here)

Do what you want to do, you dont need anyone to tell you what to do.

Just do it!! ;;D

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by sandie99 on Jun 17th, 2005, 3:49am
Good post, Mike.


on 06/16/05 at 18:21:51, Jonny wrote:
Sanna,

I read your post and skipped to the bottom (here)

Do what you want to do, you dont need anyone to tell you what to do.

Just do it!! ;;D


Good advice, Jonny.

There's just one trouble. Guilt.

My mum loves to use that to her advantage. Now she has put me on a guilt trip because I've missed two other parties by my friend's family; her mum's 50th and 60th birthday parties.

But I've never missed any of my friend's parties. I've been to each of them I was invited to.

It's funny... I'm 25 and I can nicely say what I think to everyone else, but when my mum is involved... things change. Mums, eh?

Apparently she wants me to come so that she doesn't have to explain on my behalf why I'm not there... :(

Well, c'est la vie.



Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by Frank_W on Jun 17th, 2005, 7:36am
My mother used to guilt-trip me, Sandie. One day, when I was 16, I was fed up. She rolled out the old standby,whenever she felt that I wasn't listening: "Why don't you tell me you don't love me? I know you don't." Instead of reacting and getting upset and denying it, I glared holes through her and replied, "Because I don't want to hurt your feelings."

That was the last time she ever pulled THAT shit.  [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by sandie99 on Jun 18th, 2005, 7:42am
Frank... that was... well, frank of you... ;)

Anyways, here I am, at home. The party starts in an hour and I'm going. BUT I didn't write a poem nor buy a gift. Mum bought a vase for my friend.

It's going to be interesting to see what kind of party it is! But I know my outfit will rock... ;)

Title: Re: What I'm supposed to think about this?
Post by LeLimey on Jun 18th, 2005, 8:42am
Well take pics!!! ;;D



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