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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> missing my dad, too
        
(Message started by: yikes-another-one on Jun 14^th, 2005, 6:41pm)

Title: missing my dad, too
Post by yikes-another-one on Jun 14^th, 2005, 6:41pm

Lady Elaine said it well, that this Fathers' Day is hard.

When I get to missing mine (July 4th, 2002)
I remind myself it is not over yet.

You see, my dad tried to explain to me
his thoughts of the afterlife, once in a while.

"Before the Earth was, it was a thought
in the mind of God. Before your were born, you were
also a thought of God. As we pass through to the next phase, it isn't a forever goodbye. For God thinks of you and of me often, and therefore we will not just fade away into the dust, we will always be part of his mind, always part of his creation." Of course all of that is pretty deep for a 16-year old mind to grab ahold of. Even at 33 I am still barely seeing what my dad saw.

I think he sided with Plato.
That here on Earth we see a shadow of the true light.

there is some kind of veil or curtain
that blinds us to the truth and the beauty
that God has in store for us all.

One day,each one of us gets to step through the curtain, and reunite with our loved ones. Jesus promised that we would have a famous feast with him and all our loved ones....

I feel like when I miss my dad the most, that he is probably just peeking over my shoulder or givng
me a pat on the back.

I still hope each night before I go to sleep
that I will dream about him. I guess I am a gullible one,
but when they say you dream of lost loved ones, that they are visiting you...that we are more open to their messages when we are alseep.

Of course I have twisted and frustrating ones about him.
Most of the time, when I dream about him,
I am trying to meet him for dinner or for a plane...
and I am always juts around the corner from him,
or he just left as I get there....and didn't leave a message....

It's not quite as much fun as the other dreams...
like throwing a great party with him as the guest of honor...

but somehow I know it means something.

This holiday is hard. everywhere you look there is
a commercial or a card or banner or a song on the radio....but by remembering them, we can turn the saddness into a joyfulness.

Aren't we lucky to have had more memories, and
more leraning....more time shared? some folks loose their parents before they ever get to know them...

(cont...)

Title: Re: missing my dad, too
Post by yikes-another-one on Jun 14^th, 2005, 6:45pm

While you grieve, the Treasures will surface,
I know the pain seems so unending...
but just like the ocean waves, tossing around a small boat

the emotions ebb and flow around us and through us.

Relax and let it flow, and you will realize it isn't
the end of the world, just one more challenging change
that God wants you to walk through.

Grief lasts for 2 -5 years.
You do well for a week or two, and then maybe a song or a movie will make you crash into a wall of emotion.

it's normal, and you need to feel everything,
the good the bad and the ugly.

It isn't fair.
and if you had one more day,
when it came to an end ...you would still want another day.
There is never enough
not enough time, or hugs or kisses.

But it isn't the absolute farewell.
It is only "Until We meet again."

Hold onto that, and you cannot be so sad.
knowing he is safe and home and happy
dwelling with the living God in his palace,
and waiting for you to get up there and join him.

God bless you and me and the rest of us
through this holiday.

(My husband lost his mom a few years back,
and i had to censor myself from using the word "Mother"
every joke, every story, even when my own mom called,
He just couldn't handle hearing the word without that
piercing knife hitting his heart again. So I know it is hard, to hear the words and to see the holiday.
but go a head and get him a card, and something special. You still need to celebrate him in your life.
In what ever way makes it special to you.

Love and laughter will come to those of us that morn.
God will come and personally dry up your tears.
He will give you peace and comfort. Just give Him
a little more time, and you will see. :-*

Title: Re: missing my dad, too
Post by Candycane on Jun 14^th, 2005, 11:02pm

That was really nice :)

Happy Fathers Day to you and your family

Title: Re: missing my dad, too
Post by LadyElaine on Jun 15^th, 2005, 8:23am

Thanks For posting that. When you sent that to me it made me think. I think this fathers day this post will be on my mind.
God bless you my friend for being kind enough to share .
[smiley=hug.gif]

This Fathers day call your Dad or go see him and give him a big hug. Like she said I would give anything to hug him one more time.

For people like me who can't ! I hope you feel your dads giving you a pat on the shoulder!

Title: Re: missing my dad, too
Post by Frank_W on Jun 15^th, 2005, 9:13am

Shortly after my grandfather died, I had a startlingly vivid dream of him. I was in the middle of a wide, green meadow that had a single great oak tree growing in the middle. It was MASSIVE!! The sunlight was so bright, and everything seemed to sparkle with an incredible radiance... I began walking towards the oak tree, and I could smell the grass, and I could see the clouds moving in the sky. (It was THAT vivid!) My grandfather, looking as he did in photos of him in his thirties, walked up and stuck his hand out for me to shake. (There's a story behind that. LOL) We shook hands, and I could feel the callouses and the roughness of his hands. We stood there in silence for a long moment, and there was a rumble of thunder far off in the distance. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm proud of you." And he patted my shoulder a couple more times. Another growl of thunder sounded, and he said, "You'd better go now." I nodded, with tears in my eyes, and the dream ended.

I awoke with a profound peace and a quiet sense of joy. There's no doubt in my mind that I did, in fact, meet up with my grandfather. No way was it "just a dream."

Title: Re: missing my dad, too
Post by sandie99 on Jun 15^th, 2005, 1:07pm

Since my father passed away in April 1997, I have felt on many times that he's up there watching over me. :)

But it took years until he appeared to my dreams. I have seen him on my dreams many times during this year. I have no idea what it means... Something good, I hope. :)

It's funny, but sometimes I miss him so badly it feels just like he would have died only days ago...
I feel his presence strongly every time when I'm at our summer cottage. That's understandable, because he loved that place... :)

Title: Re: missing my dad, too
Post by yikes-another-one on Jun 18^th, 2005, 12:55pm

:)

My dad loved boats and water skiing.

He tried for years to teach me.
and I did get dragged with seaweeds fro a few
hundred yards before I realized how to deal with the slack in the rope.

but to feel the wind in your face, the sun smiling down on you, and have the smell of the lake water as it rushes up your nose.....whew. That is what pure joy must taste like.

(He taught me that nothing good happens in life
without a bit of a struggle. Gives me the persistence
factor that keeps me gettting up everyday for WORK)

Have a great Father's day everyone.
May the weather be sunny and may the time be full of laughter and fond memories.

Title: Re: missing my dad, too
Post by cazman on Jun 19^th, 2005, 1:04pm

thanks for sharing that was very nice

Title: Re: missing my dad, too
Post by Carl_D on Jun 20^th, 2005, 3:26am

I lost my dad 2 days before thanksgiving in 1988, and still miss him, but not as much as I miss my mom. I guess it is because my dad basically hated me from the time I was born up until I was 17. Not kidding. I didn't know the gist of it until after he died but I have two older brothers, and I was to be the last child. My mom wanted a girl too, but my father was dead-set on having a little girl. When I was born, he went to my grandmas house and told her "Well we got another sonofabitchin' boy again." and my granny chewed him out. She told him not to take it out on the baby, cause it was HIS fault he couldn't produce a girl. Needless to say, I went through hell growing up, and got beat for everything under the sun - even shit my brothers did.
It wasn't until a year before he died we actually started communicating and talking. Right before he died, I think he was actually proud of me for going back to school and wanting to become an english teacher.
I think what has fucked with me all these years is the fact that we DID start communicating, and I felt something other than hate for my dad. It was like we just started a father/son relationship and then he suddenly dies. I sometimes think it would have been easier had we not started getting along. It's hard to miss something that was never there to begin with, but it did begin...and all these years later I still mis my dad.
I swore if I ever had children, they would know their father, and how much I loved them. I would not play favorites or anything.

God I need a drink!
Carl D