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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Overheard on an elevator. 
        
(Message started by: Miklos on May 16^th, 2005, 8:23pm)

Title: Overheard on an elevator.
Post by Miklos on May 16^th, 2005, 8:23pm

...so I turned on the light and there was this girl in the middle of the floor. Her throat had been slashed, and there was a big puddle of blood. Beside the body was a knife. I knew I was in really big trouble. If I called the police, there would be a ton of hassles. And, if I didn't, someone would might find me there. So I ripped the sleeve off my shirt and carefully...

Doors open. Guy goes out. Doors close.

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by Sean_C on May 16^th, 2005, 8:27pm

Put the bottle down Miklos ;;D Its bedtime

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by Langa on May 16^th, 2005, 8:33pm

:-/

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by Kevin_M on May 16^th, 2005, 8:36pm

Did you notice if his cufflinks had the initials OJ on them?

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by Jonny on May 16^th, 2005, 8:38pm

I hit the stop button, throw the bitch out the roof hatch and then hit the go button....if someone is there when the doors open I go screaming out the door yelling "This place is crazy"....never to be seen again ;;D

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by Sean_C on May 16^th, 2005, 8:41pm

His room is next to yours in Dallas.....................................any last wishes? ;;D

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by floridian on May 16^th, 2005, 8:45pm

Fun things to do on the elevator:

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say "Oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say: "Mmmm... tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

(I didn't know that doing Tai Chi in an elevator might freak someone out. Sorry, I won't do it again.)

;;D

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by cootie on May 16^th, 2005, 8:56pm

Ever try to rip the sleeve off a shirt carefully while wearing it ? Snipper Pam

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by BlueMeanie on May 16^th, 2005, 9:31pm

on 05/16/05 at 20:23:13, Miklos wrote:

Bad timing Mik... we just had 2 little 2nd grade girls get their throats slashed last week in Zion, IL. I know you're trying to be funny, but right now this post sucks !!! The guy that did it was the father of one of the girls. I hope the guy rots in hell.

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by Sean_C on May 16^th, 2005, 9:49pm

on 05/16/05 at 21:31:23, BlueMeanie wrote:

He won't last a week in general population Blue, his demise is forthcoming :( No women, no kids, those are the rules.

Sean...............................

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by BlueMeanie on May 16^th, 2005, 9:56pm

on 05/16/05 at 21:49:17, Sean_C wrote:

He won't last a week in general population Blue, his demise is forthcoming :( No women, no kids, those are the rules.

Sean...............................

I hope you're right Sean. Every day I see a little girl with their parents, I think of that evil guy. Still aint' got over that shit yet. I've been to that park they got murdered in several times. Don't know if i'll go back now.

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by Sean_C on May 16^th, 2005, 10:12pm

on 05/16/05 at 21:56:31, BlueMeanie wrote:

Lots of angry bad ass fathers in prison for life Blue looking at it as it could have been theres, nuff said.

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. 1937
Post by Miklos on May 16^th, 2005, 10:55pm

Understand where you are coming from Blue. I read the news. But, this is a clip from 1937. Alfred Hitchcock was the perpetrator.

I have done this several times on a elevator. Gets awfully quiet in there. Deathly quiet.

Better than Flo's gags though.

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. 1937
Post by don on May 16^th, 2005, 11:00pm

Quote:

He won't last a week in general population

He's done. Waaayyy done.

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. 1937
Post by BlueMeanie on May 16^th, 2005, 11:12pm

No problem Mik... it just kinda hit me wrong after whats happened. Besides, I was even dreamt up yet in 37' ;)

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
Post by sandie99 on May 17^th, 2005, 6:14am

on 05/16/05 at 21:31:23, BlueMeanie wrote:

That's terrible! :'(

Title: Re: Overheard on an elevator.
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on May 17^th, 2005, 10:24am

I saw that one in the local papers. He was pissed at his daughter because she lifted $40.00 out of her mom's purse.

She was grounded but her mom let her off grounding early.

He went out and found her with the friend that stole the money with her.

What an animal. How can someone get that pissed at thier own daughter to do something like that?

Throw him in prison with a tattoo that says child killer stamped on his forehead.