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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Need to vent
        
(Message started by: mawmaw on Apr 7^th, 2005, 1:57am)

Title: Need to vent
Post by mawmaw on Apr 7^th, 2005, 1:57am

I don't post a whole lot on this board, but I do read and am very gratful for all the support I have received from the people. My husband has CH and thankfully his H/A's are gone for now.
We have 4 grandsons that have lived with us off and on for the past 2 years. The 2 oldest have lived with us the most and we have tried to get custody of them all. The judge told us this last time that we went to court that he was watching over this case closely but we had not met the state guide lines as far as proving my son-in-law unfit.My daughter has been kicked out of the court room twice and the judge told my son-in-law that if he left the children in her care while he worked that he would consider him unfit also. The 2 of them are addicted to methanphitamen(excuse spelling).
This week the 2 boys that stayed with us the most have been on spring break from school and we have had them at our home for a few days. The 7 year old got mad today and threw the video game controller and my husband walked back to the room to see what was going on. That child had a look on his face of total fear. He was terrified that my husband was going to hit him. My husband has never laid a hand on these boys. It upset him so bad that he called me at work asking what he could do . We know the conditions that they are living under and it is just heart wrenching to us to not be able to do more. What the hell do we have to do to get some one to do something before one of these little boys ends up hurt. :( We know that my son-in-law is leaving the boys with my daughter when he works,but proving is another thing. Thanks for letting me vent.

Title: Re: Need to vent
Post by PrettyH8Machine on Apr 7^th, 2005, 2:20am

Vent away. Sorry to hear about the mess you are having to deal with. Every single by-product of methamphetamine is wicked. Anyone who is addicted to meth is an unfit parent, and I know of a few who have lost their children as a result. That stuff leads the user to one of two places, jail or the grave. Unfortunately, every one around them gets burned in some way or another. Will say a prayer for you guys.

Carl D

Title: Re: Need to vent
Post by LeLimey on Apr 7^th, 2005, 3:40am

Bloody Hell Cindy
What EXACTLY do you have to do to prove him unfit? This stinks so bad. That must have really hurt your hubby having the kids react to him like that. I kow thats a trigger response though. They weren't truly afraid of him its just how they have become and it is awful because I know they were so happy with you. I am praying this all gets sorted for the best soon. Its appalling that these poor kids are being made to suffer over flaming technicalities.They say Justice is blind but its deaf and dumb and thick as a post as well

Title: Re: Need to vent
Post by nani on Apr 7^th, 2005, 8:56am

Oh Cindy, I'm so sorry you're still struggling with this. :'(
The only way I was able to deal with a similar situation was to actually hire a lawyer to represent my granddaughter. It was pricey, but worth it at the time. I had the same struggles with the state.
Can you get a photo of the kids with their Mom? That's probably the only way you can prove anything.
The other thing you might try...and it would be hard...is to act like you want to do this to give Mom and Dad a break. It might take an Academy award level performance, but you could try. "Honey, raising kids is so hard on you. You already have so much going on in your life. You need help with them." etc...make it all about them. They might fall for it.
Meth is a horrible drug that robs you of your soul as well as mind. >:(
You and the kids are in my prayers, sweetie. Hang in there! Glad your hubby got a break, too. hugs and love, nani

Title: Re: Need to vent
Post by sandie99 on Apr 7^th, 2005, 11:05am

Go on, vent away... :)
I am sorry about your situation, though. It's so clear how much you love those boys. I hope that everything works out for the best for all of you. I don't have wise words to share, so I'll just send you vibes & prayer & [smiley=hug.gif]s...

Best wishes,
Sandie

Title: Re: Need to vent
Post by taraann on Apr 7^th, 2005, 12:08pm

So sorry to hear your daughter and son in law are meth users. There is a huge meth problem in our state, my husbands cousin and his wife are addicted to it and they also have 2 children. I'm new to his family here but worry constantly about the children. Thankfully they live in a little cul de sac with lots of family, the family seems to take care of the kids. Still not a good situation to grow up in.

I can't imagine a judge letting children stay in a home with meth addicted parents. Esp with all the knowledge out there on how terrible this drug is. It's just ridiculous that a judge would deny those children a good, drug free home. Just keep looking for evidence to gather and present to the judge. I hope the judge wakes up quick.

Title: Re: Need to vent
Post by Charlie on Apr 7^th, 2005, 1:17pm

Sorry for all this crapola.

There are many definitions of child-abuse and from where I sit; this would more that qualify.

Keep pluggin'

Charlie

Title: Re: Need to vent
Post by mawmaw on Apr 7^th, 2005, 2:17pm

Thank you all for your support. It is so frustrating to feel helpless. We have another appointment with Child Protective services on Monday.
Again many thanks for the support