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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> I Broke Easter Morning
        
(Message started by: PrettyH8Machine on Mar 28^th, 2005, 8:41am)

Title: I Broke Easter Morning
Post by PrettyH8Machine on Mar 28^th, 2005, 8:41am

After only 3 CH's in a 60 something day period after doing 3 doses of 'shrooms, the CH's returned Wednesday and have been back with a vengeance. After several hits Saturday night and then yesterday morning, I succombed to the Trex again. Going into my 18th year with this shit, my sis in law said last night that she thinks clusters make me manic. Has anyone else been told this or noticed it going into cycle or while cycling? After being chronic for the last 7 years, I have only began to learn the toll it has taken on me - kind of numb to some things. Very desensitized.
It only takes a short period of time to forget the pain, but it takes only an instant with a CH to remember. Luckily I was able to maintain a smile throughout the day playing with my niece and nephew.
Today is spring cleaning, since there is no rain or imminent danger of my ceiling caving in at the moment. Just had to vent a bit.

Grinnin' and bearing it,
CD

*ps- I mentioned the manic thing because I have been sleeping good the last few weeks, but up until last night, had been awake for almost 4 days straight. I wasn't even drinking any caffiene. Could not sleep for the life of me and when I'd try for some, would eventually get up with the pressure building in my head.
I'm a thinking this coming weekend I will be getting some Kudzu to try, or some seeds.

Title: Re: I Broke Easter Morning
Post by nani on Mar 28^th, 2005, 8:47am

[smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: I Broke Easter Morning
Post by Tiannia on Mar 28^th, 2005, 11:15am

Dont know if I'd call it manic, but I know that when my CH;s ramp up, I dont sleep. It worries the shit out of my husband cause I drive most of the day with my job. But I wake up with the pressure and know that it is coming and cant lay back down. Even being on the Kudzu, I still feel it building and I am awake. Some might not hit as bad as they where but there is no way that I can close my eyes.

Try the kudzu hun. It might help take the edge off. [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: I Broke Easter Morning
Post by TomM on Mar 28^th, 2005, 11:28am

on 03/28/05 at 08:41:22, PrettyH8Machine wrote:

It only takes a short period of time to forget the pain, but it takes only an instant with a CH to remember.

Very insightful.
TomM

Title: Re: I Broke Easter Morning
Post by cootie on Mar 28^th, 2005, 11:40am

I believe yer talkin but fight or flight syndrone as far as the manic shit......(they call it panic attacks too but am talkin bout overall feelings).......kind of like a corner'd wild animal......you know somethin is gonna happen....but when and how bad can cause INTENSE mania cuz there's an enemy out there "you" can't see or reason with. Prey'd upon Pam

Title: Re: I Broke Easter Morning
Post by Sean_C on Mar 28^th, 2005, 11:49am

on 03/28/05 at 11:40:48, cootie wrote:

Exactly ;;D Nice post Coots

Sean.............................

Title: Re: I Broke Easter Morning
Post by PrettyH8Machine on Mar 28^th, 2005, 11:31pm

I think you nailed it Cootie. The last month or more I have been on top of the world. Now the symphony of pain begins again and the sound is maddening; frightening and fucking maddening. I guess this is what it is like to look in the mirror while you are on fire - it just makes you panic even more.

CD

Title: Re: I Broke Easter Morning
Post by sandie99 on Mar 28^th, 2005, 11:36pm

on 03/28/05 at 08:41:22, PrettyH8Machine wrote:

It only takes a short period of time to forget the pain, but it takes only an instant with a CH to remember.

After a PF day I nearly forget the pain, too. That's how the mind works, I suppose...