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New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Advise needed...
(Message started by: Kim Y. on Mar 25th, 2005, 11:48am)

Title: Advise needed...
Post by Kim Y. on Mar 25th, 2005, 11:48am
 I hope you all don't mind if I vent on here for a few minutes.  I need to get something off of my chest.

 Well here it goes I work in a Nursing home as a nurse and my Aides brought a situation of a res. using sexual enuendos in the diningroom.  (mind you he is of sound mind and body just poor health).  They asked me to talk to him.  When I confronted him about this and he was angry he told me he was going to leave and not return.

The next day he wanted his depressive meds increased and had talk to the Aides before I came on shift.  Unsure of what was said.  The nurse and Aides said that he was very upset.  So I decided to approach him again and when I did the man wanted specific situations then told me he got the truth and was going to turn me in for malitious acts against him.  He was very rude.  I told him that I came to him out of respect and he said he didn't believe me.  I left his room told the administrator of what happened.  Later the res. approached me and said he wanted to forget the whole thing so I said ok.  

Since then he says his little comments and then with sarcasum says oops I guess I shouldn't say that.  He has also told the Aides that he threatened me and was smiling.  Another comment was who is the nurse on tonight and when told it was me he made the comment that is why he hasn't seen anyone.  This isn't unusual since I don't have to chart on him all the time.

I have never had a mean bone in this body.  Heck my sister calls me a goody two shoes.  I would give the shirt off of my back for anyone if it ment for a moment that it would bring someone happiness.

After his behavior I don't feel comfortable talking to him.  I will still care for him but I just don't know where to go from here. :-/

Ok venting is over.  Sorry for boring you all. Thanks for lending me your eyes.
Kim

Title: Re: Advise needed...
Post by LeLimey on Mar 25th, 2005, 12:42pm
First of all Kim you didn't bore me!  [smiley=hug.gif] I'm so sorry you are having to put up with this sheet when you are only trying to do your job. I think you need to go to the administrator and explain the situation and also have a word with your colleagues. If they make it clear to him they aren't going to listen to his snide little comments then he won't have an audience.
I'd make sure I spoke to him in front of others wherever possible, both staff and residents so that his mud couldn't stick and I'd damn well hold my head up high. You have acted with integrity throughout and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Be pro-active, knock this on the head before it can develop into anything nasty.
Oh.. and let us know how you get on. I hope it all blows over soon for you. Happy Easter!

Title: Re: Advise needed...
Post by nani on Mar 25th, 2005, 12:46pm
I'm so glad you could come up with something positive, Helen. The only advice I could think of was...Change jobs because old people suck. Sorry, I'm feeling kind of bitter at the moment. ~nani (who has her demented mother and stepfather living in her house)   :-/
I just put the nursing home number on speed dial

Title: Re: Advise needed...
Post by Kim Y. on Mar 25th, 2005, 12:53pm
Sad thing is I am afraid after the Aides asked me to talk to them I think they may have told him they didn't feel that way.  Not 100% sure of it but I wouldn't have had no other reason to approach him.  I have informed them they need to tell him themselves and let him know it bothers them.   ::)What a mess.  I plan to go back to the administrator today if he makes anymore sarcastic comments because now I am feeling harased and as a caregiver I don't feel like I should have to put up with it.  I feel as though I am alone since the Aides aren't backing me up after they asked me to talk with him.

Thanks for the boost of confidence.  

Of course this is havic on the CH and increases the intensity.

Easter is going to be great.  I am off all weekend and I am working on my garden or at least the pots rain or shine in the garage if I have to.  I hope you all have a good Easter and I will keep you posted..

Kim

Title: Re: Advise needed...
Post by Kim Y. on Mar 25th, 2005, 1:04pm
Nani it is ok.  
 The thought of changing jobs is pointless since school starts in July and I won't be working much then.
The man is in early 60s so he doesn't have an excuse.
Some day will be in your shoes with my inlaws and then my parents so will see.

Title: Re: Advise needed...
Post by LeLimey on Mar 25th, 2005, 1:23pm
Kim write it all down too.. document what happens on what days. I hope you never need it but just watch your own back. ((HUG))

Title: Re: Advise needed...
Post by Charlie on Mar 26th, 2005, 1:50am
Well....

Most of this comes from my being 58 years old and having a tough but funny retired nurse in the family. I remember all the jokes out of the 50s mostly about guys just like this.. She and her friends just fired back with stuff just as bawdy or worse all the time such as making fun of all the little "tents" on the men's wards in the mornings or worse. Most of the stories are hilarious and worked to shut them up. It isn’t necessary to be sweet all the time. Don’t give them an opening.

My aunt an friends never gave in and as a result, they got along fine with the head nurses and administrators. Put it in perspective and never believe a thing from these guys. If the powers that be give you a hard time, tell them what you think of it. My advice is to be nice  only if they deserve it. Let them whine a bit. It takes some reciprocity on their part.

In other words; don't let them get to you. You are the one in charge. If you play along with them a bit, it will likely be less fun and they will calm down when they see you are not be impressed. Let them call you names for awhile. It won’t last, really.

Charlie


Title: Re: Advise needed...
Post by Kim Y. on Mar 26th, 2005, 8:05am
Thanks for the pep talk I am better today.  I was upset for the first shift but after pulling a double last night I am ok.  Or just so damn exhausted to really care.  My head and neck won't let me sleep.  I haven't been to bed since 8am yesturday I am going on 24 hours no sleep........
Life will be ok I just needed to vent that is how I solve problems by trouble shooting and talking or in this case typing through it... [smiley=laugh.gif]
Man when will the head stop so I can sleep.



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