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Title: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by Redd715 on Mar 13th, 2005, 12:31pm In light of some of the situations that me fellow family members have/are going threw, I wanted to share this bit of writing I did a few years ago. Was a very pivotal period in my life and I had this epiphany. Nothing will make us feel crazier than to continue to expect something from someone who has nothing to give, that's for sure. You can invest so much time hoping for a different outcome; thinking that it is YOU who must be doing or saying the wrong thing, searching for some non-existent magical combination of words or actions that will entice that person to give us what we need. It is such a destructive cycle and it is so hard to break it. Hard to admit that we have wasted time on this person, and harder to just take our hands off the situation. You just have to have enough self-knowledge to know when to say when, I suppose. If you continue second-guessing yourself, awaiting a different response from someone who gives you very little, no matter what you try - then you're not doing anything except trying to negotiate with reality. THAT'S the part that will make you feel nuts. Sometimes that's what you find out you're doing, when you continue to expect things from someone who can't give them, and you are telling yourself, "If I do this or that, or say these words, then that will change what I get from this person." You may THINK you are being reasonable, and healthy, and flexible – but there's a fine line between being those things, and in fact, just continuing to *negotiate with reality* - which may be, that NOTHING you can do or say is going to change your relationship. Love you all. |
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Title: Re: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by nani on Mar 13th, 2005, 12:36pm Those are very wise words, Pegg. :) |
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Title: Re: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by LeLimey on Mar 13th, 2005, 12:52pm I've just emailed that to a friend of mine who is going through some shit. Unfortunately she is seeking answers from the botttom of a bottle and I'm having a tough time helping her enough to help but standing back enough to make her realise its not the way forward. I can't tell you how much reading that has helped ME.. I hope it helps her too. Thanks Pegg... I needed that little wake up call as much as my friend does. |
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Title: Re: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by Redd715 on Mar 13th, 2005, 12:59pm It was an expansion of one of my favorite quotes. I sat down one day and jsut took a few lines of things I found profound and expanded on them. Personal observations. Feelings and insight gained over the years. Thanks guys... |
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Title: Re: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by Charlie on Mar 13th, 2005, 2:49pm While it sounds selfish, it's true that since life is so short, your goal should be to do everything you can to enjoy it. Charlie |
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Title: Re: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by Redd715 on Mar 13th, 2005, 5:19pm As you said Charlie, it may sound selfish on the surface. But in reality is the antithesis. Is it not actually the selfish thing, to continue to seek approval, support, love, respect from a person that doesn't have the capacity to give it? |
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Title: Re: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by Redneck on Mar 13th, 2005, 8:03pm It is not unreasonable to expect ''to seek approval, support, love, respect" There. nuff said. Hugs to a wonderful lady. Damn who's ass do I need to kick for you dear! |
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Title: Re: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by sandie99 on Mar 14th, 2005, 3:00am That was just beautiful. Thank you. :) |
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Title: Re: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by Leesa on Mar 14th, 2005, 1:36pm Redd, nice one gal! Food for thought. Leesa ;;D |
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Title: Re: Philosophy for a Sunday.... Post by Alien Space Babe on Mar 14th, 2005, 5:18pm Makes sense.... no use sticking around for someone who can't give you what you need.... That's a very freeing thought, Redd.... |
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