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Title: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by Tiannia on Mar 3rd, 2005, 12:17pm I need to vent so that I can not cry sitting here at my desk. I have to get these thought out of my head so that I can get back into control emotionally and get through this. As a first note....Sorry - no I have not gotten Kudzu. Cant find it where I go with my kids and getting to a specialty store during the week is tough. My new job keeps me going all the time. Been getting hit about 5 times a day really ficking hard. The trex shot (I usually can split up a vial into 2-3 shots) that usually helps, either does not or is making me feel worse. This sucks cause they have worked for the past 20 months and now nothing. My new job is very demanding but I am doing really good. They like me here and I am flourishing. But now I am starting to fight again with my husband. This is so hard to deal with. I am soo tired of going through this cycle of fights each time my HA ramp up. Then our fighting tapers off because I bend over backwards to make sure that he is happy. And then he tells me that I am being the martyr if I bring it up that I am trying to make it better for him. I feel like I am getting torn the fuck up inside. I am not this strong. I am fighting my old job for my unemployement, trying so hard to do well with a new job that I absolutly love, fighting the god damn beast 2-3 times each night, and now this..... again. I have suggesting Counseling but that is a no go with him. He is not going to discuss our issues with a stranger. But I cant keep being the one to bend. Sooner or later even the strongest willow tree with break in the wind. It is so hard to hurt physically all the god damn time to have to deal with emotional pain on top of it is unbearable. I love him with all my heart, I could not imagine my life without him or the kids. But right now I am ready to say fuck it. That if I am so bad a wife and mother then ... I just cant write what I am feeling. I just feel like I could take better care of them not being here. Then I would not have to put them through so much. Why cant it just be easy? Why do we have to go through so much over and above the CH? Isn't the beast enough for any one person to deal with? ok time to stuff all the emotions back inside. Put back up the walls and get back to being the strong mom who takes care of everything. PF Wishes everyone. -Tiannia (who is trying to not cry :'() |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by Frank_W on Mar 3rd, 2005, 12:20pm [smiley=hug.gif] :'( [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by Hirvimaki on Mar 3rd, 2005, 12:31pm (((((HUGS))))) [smiley=hug.gif] Hang in there... If it'd make you feel any better, I can IM you dirty jokes. Hirvimaki-Isi |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by purpleydog on Mar 3rd, 2005, 12:37pm Hang in there Tia. Things will get better. I know it sucks when you're getting hit hard and it seems like your husband isn't understanding. He needs to know that it's not about him. And it's not your fault. You can't help it. You need to take care of you. And you are not a bad wife and mother, not by any means. You're children love you with all their hearts, and your husband does too, even if he is being an ass right now. Not being around is not an option! If he won't go to counseling with you, dear, then go alone. You can learn ways of dealing with this. You're at the right place. Vent away. We're here for you. :) |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by ShariRae on Mar 3rd, 2005, 12:40pm Tia.. I am so sorry this is heppening again to you...you deserve so much better.. but yanno what?? stop trying NOT to cry..go ahead.. let it out...sometimes thats all it takes to help get your focus back & do what you have to do..just know you are in my thoughts.. Huggs Shari |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by nani on Mar 3rd, 2005, 12:48pm :'( [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by minnie on Mar 3rd, 2005, 12:55pm [{Tia]} [smiley=hug.gif] I wish I had words of wisdom but I too am at a loss. Your kids lives are a lot better because of you.They have a strong role model and see that through the toughest pain you survive and thrive and so will they. Bless your heart when you get home with the kids look in their eyes and you will see the reflection of Love and stength you give them.be well my friend. Minnie |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by Alien Space Babe on Mar 3rd, 2005, 1:40pm |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by rickyshot on Mar 3rd, 2005, 1:42pm [smiley=hug.gif] ch IS a bitch. Vent away |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by Langa on Mar 3rd, 2005, 1:46pm This is what I say to life's adversities...(thanks Frank for helping me find the pic...) http://www.jeepaholics.com/support/files/Jeepgun/20040803132247_Say_what_you_feel.JPG Hey T...wanted to make you laugh... Vent and cry away...we love you and better days are coming...promise... ;) Langa |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by karma on Mar 3rd, 2005, 3:08pm Tianna, Pick your battles carefully. The first one is to get feeling better. Then work and the kid stuff will be a breeze. When you have your strength back deal with Hub. A little more bending right now may be just the thing to win the war. Good Luck. |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by LeLimey on Mar 3rd, 2005, 5:14pm Tia (((HUG))) I don't know what else to say hon but I'm thinking of you. love Helen |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by blossom on Mar 3rd, 2005, 7:28pm Tia - that sounded just like me a few months back. God, I can hear me saying those words. You can't change someone, I loved my husband more than anything, but he didn't love me back. Marriage is a 2 way street, you can't do all the work. You have to have someone to stand beside you not push you from behind over the cliff. Try to stay positive, I know it's hard. Things will work out how they are supposed to. You just have to keep your chin up and keep plugging away! Love to you! Karen |
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Title: Re: Shit fucking week. - Just venting.... Post by Kim Y. on Mar 4th, 2005, 12:41pm Tiannia Maybe some of the reason you fight is because he is so frustrated that he can't make you feel better and instead he takes it out on you not meaning to. I know I spend a lot of time appologizing to my husband because I was short with him and didn't mean to be and he has been a little short back . Last night I told him that I knew that it was hard on him not being able to help but did let him know that just haveing him console me and hold me and let me cry is very helpful. I may be in left field just was trying to help. [smiley=hug.gif] :'( PF wishes and let it out when you need to some times it is all you need... :) |
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