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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> The Death Rattle of the Beast!
        
(Message started by: PrettyH8Machine on Mar 2^nd, 2005, 12:57am)

Title: The Death Rattle of the Beast!
Post by PrettyH8Machine on Mar 2^nd, 2005, 12:57am

Is this happening, or am I having a 'butterfly effect' dream and will awake armless?

Going into day 30 since I went CH free for 21 days, had 3 brief visits which I am wondering, is this the end of it? Seven fucking years of chronic? Is this the end?

Well, for the second time in said period of time, I am drinking Brandy. I can get away with most alcohol, but discovered a few years ago, Brandy will bring on the beast with ease, within hours.

I am not even shadowing.

I can only equate this with one possibilty - MEDICINAL magic mushrooms, shrooms or Psilcybin! I did 3 doses, each 5 days apart, starting a week after DavCon. This is freaking me out beyond belief and has had some questions circling my shiny dome. One of them has been the moral Vs. practical dilemma of including this in my novel. Should Wyatts relief come from the medical community or from a controlled substance? This has been tough for me to reason about, and don't really have many people I can converse with on the topic, since us CHers are such a rare breed.

Okay, so I may be a wuss, but I decided after much pondering to take the safe way out here. The reason being... I don't want this book to be oversighted as a 'pro-drug' book, rather an introduction into what clusters are, and what it is like to deal with them as a sufferer,supporter or onlooker or outsider. I think I have a better chance with this book with that outlet for an ending. After all, before this I went chronic without anything helping until another Cher suggested I try Imitrex injections again, after they hadn't helped me in the past. Well, they did. Imitrex may be a beast of burden, but it helped me to keep the beast at bay while working.

So, I am busy trying to put the final nail in this book, and trying to finish putting together my party/covers band which will be called "Protein Shake." Sorry. Too many one-liners I can use off of that name at gigs. ;;D

Feeling like I am 17 again and the CH never happened,
Carl D