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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Living With The Beast; Part I
        
(Message started by: Frank_W on Feb 5^th, 2005, 1:38pm)

Title: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Frank_W on Feb 5^th, 2005, 1:38pm

When we get hit, the first thing we do is clench up inside, clench our jaw, grind our palm into the affected eye, and lose control of our breathing.

Now, I've been hit in the middle of business meetings, formal banquets, and while giving presentations to potential clients. Fleeing the room, running off to get by myself, or suddenly flipping out and bashing my head on stuff are just not options. You CAN maintain control of yourself, and you can ride out even the WORST of these things.

GET CONTROL OF YOUR BREATHING! Consciously tell yourself inwardly, "Inhale.... Exhale.... Inhale... Exhale..."

Once you have control of your breathing, then go limp as an old dishcloth inside. Whether you tense up and "fight," or just relax, the pain is still going to be there, but tensing up, grinding your teeth, screaming... None of that makes one bit of difference, and indeed, may intensify and exaggerate the pain.

Next: Once you have control of your breathing and you are relaxed inside, UNPLUG from the pain. YOU, the essential core of YOU, are not this physical body! You are NOT this pain! Getting all angry and violent about it isn't going to solve one damn thing. So..... Why not quit having ANY emotion about it, one way or the other? It's going to come when it's going to come, and it's going to stay as long as it's going to stay, and it will go when it's ready to go. There is NOTHING you can do about it, when you can't reach out for the oxygen or break open an Imitrex shot, so screw it.

Why relinquish your control of yourself to the Beast? Why?? That makes absolutely NO sense, even with the WORST hits!

1. Breathe!
2. Unclench and R E L A X . . . .
3. Detach and unplug. Let it be.
4. Get on with LIVING your life. Don't let this condition rule you!

-Frank

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by don on Feb 5^th, 2005, 1:43pm

Agree with all but number 3. Unplugging is not always an option.

Reminds me of a therapist that once told me to be one with the pain. It is part of you.

Nice talkin to ya!

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by nani on Feb 5^th, 2005, 1:44pm

Thanks, Frank. I use some of those techniques as well. I'm still very much struggling with step 2. I have always internalized stress and it come out by creating huge knots in all my muscles. :-/
Step one was easiest for me. That's my mantra in life...just BREATHE. Practice conscious breathing when you're not getting hit and it comes more naturally.

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Feb 5^th, 2005, 1:46pm

I've used Charlie's technique.... it works for me....

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by E-Double on Feb 5^th, 2005, 1:53pm

Simply put ....."It is what it is"

Live life the best you can and try to be positive!

Good one man!

Eric

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Jonny on Feb 5^th, 2005, 2:15pm

on 02/05/05 at 13:38:46, Frank_W wrote:

Don't let this condition rule you!

Im down with that!!!

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Frank_W on Feb 5^th, 2005, 2:29pm

on 02/05/05 at 13:43:12, don wrote:

Agree with all but number 3. Unplugging is not always an option.

Reminds me of a therapist that once told me to be one with the pain. It is part of you.

I agree: That sounds like a lot of fluff. I don't WANT to be "be one" with the pain! But I can choose how I feel about it, or whether or not to become emotionally involved with it.

I'm looking for ways to take control back from the Beast, and keeping it from ruling my emotions and driving me down mentally, as well as physically. This is really what I'm after, right now.

Part II, when I get around to writing it, will be a little more esoteric. It's an exercise that you use when you AREN'T in pain, to establish a place within you that you can retreat to, but it requires a little effort, the ability to visualize, and a little discipline.

My theory behind all of this, is that the more we can rely on our bodys' and minds' natural coping mechanisms, maybe the less dependent we will be on doctors and medications that destroy our livers and hearts. I'm not suggesting any of this as a panacea or a cure, and it may not work for everyone, and it may not work for even the majority of people, but if it can help even a few people, then not sharing it would be something that would weigh on my conscience.

PFDAN's,
-Frank

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by don on Feb 5^th, 2005, 2:38pm

Been using 1,2, and 4 for years. Especially number 4.

Like it or not it IS part of who I am, but only a small part.

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Redd715 on Feb 5^th, 2005, 2:48pm

Lamaz (sp) is very akin to this and I do my own personal variation...

Have yet to fully be able to not tense up. Practice makes perfect though right? ;;D

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Kevin_M on Feb 5^th, 2005, 2:53pm

on 02/05/05 at 13:43:12, don wrote:

Unplugging is not always an option.

I gotta row in this boat. After the first seven years of not having a preventative and waking to a 5 cranking to 10, two and three times a night for nine months of every year with only trex n/s taken too late and having to wait, and wait, I'm not doing that anymore, there was no "unplugging" going to happen, making it through the pain was... somehow managed when the limits to the threshold of coping had been surpassed 15 minutes ago. There was no unplugging at work either, the two and three hits there too, but at least I could time the trex better and put on shades. Now, oxygen helps in the meantime AND an effective prevent working now.

Back when teaching a classroom while in cycle also, there is no unplugging as the eye tears and snots run and the voice goes to a whisper trying to think and using all mental energy on tolerating. Sometimes the capability for more is needed than we are able to muster. The physical symptoms of the pain inside are way too much to display in a situation like that.

Get on with living in spite of? Everyday.

Kevin M

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Frank_W on Feb 5^th, 2005, 2:53pm

Yes, it IS something that takes faithful practice, until it becomes nearly an automatic response to it, when it comes.

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by john_d on Feb 5^th, 2005, 3:13pm

My last cycle, the one thing that I learned is that it's not just the headaches that make the experience horrible, the anxiety alone really, really sux. When I was not getting hit, I was terrified of getting hit, and terror is not a pleasant feeling. I dreaded, and I mean dreaded to nightmare proportions, entering the night when I knew I was going to get hit. Of course I went two weeks into the cycle with no abortives whatsoever (never again). My chest, neck and upper shoulders were as tense as a compound bow at all times. I was doing some exercises (including breathing) and they helped with the anxiety and muscle tightness to a degree, but to be honest it would have taken me alot longer than my cycle lasted to learn how *not* to be incredibly anxious during that time. When I entered a headache itself, my whole body would go into panic mode and the breathing exercises was the only way to stop myself from a full-blown panic. Of course noted the pain still SUCKED, holy crap it sucked. Thank God Mr O2 showed up. But it seemed to also make it last a shorter amount of time. After I got into the groove of doing those exercises, I was taking 20 minute rides instead of 60. Occasionaly I would get hit so bad that all went out the window, I would be in pure hell and I did not want to be at that place, I would panic. But overall I believe it helped alot.

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Melissa on Feb 5^th, 2005, 3:36pm

I wish men could give birth, I really do. Cause when you have sole responsibility of an infant that's 2 weeks old AND in cycle at the same time, well, you learn to overcome the fear of sleep real quick.

;)mel

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by high_commander on Feb 5^th, 2005, 5:14pm

Quote:

Lamaz (sp) is very akin to this and I do my own personal variation...Redd 715

LOL

Your not the only one ! The only time i've used my Lamaz is to fight the beast, and the pain from and ovarian cyst. (the kids birthed very fast, so the breathing wasn't even used)

I worked through 10 weeks of summer camp not knowing what I had, and used the breathing as a way to cope. 10 weeks of kip 6-8's with a 10 thrown in to challenge me, then I was diagnosed.....

Thanks Frank for getting the info out...

Danielle

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Redneck on Feb 5^th, 2005, 5:52pm

For years with no abortives I imagined that I was a shiny slick black rock and the pain fell on it and slid off. But that doesn't seem to work any more, guess the beast figured out it was a figment of my imagination.

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Jimi on Feb 5^th, 2005, 10:44pm

Back when all I had was cafergot, I would sit down and WILL myself to not move. I would close my eyes and concentrate on the pain, beginning at a 10 and concentrate on lowering the number to a 9 and then to an 8 etc. I would not move a muscle. Sweat would pop out and completly drench me, my nose would run but I would not move.
After it started to back down around 20-30 minutes later to a 5 or 4, I would start to feel happy and at a 2-3 almost giddy.
I always found that when I paced or rocked or banged the wall it made it worse. If you have no meds, at least for me, I agree with Frank. You have to try to control the pain the best you can.

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Sean_C on Feb 5^th, 2005, 11:39pm

I cannot function after kip 6. I need complete darkness, quiet, and room to pace and chant by myself. After kip 8 I need support. At kip 10 I need a gun. This is who I am, like it or not I'm going in the bunker ;;D

Call me a puss see if I care ;;D

Sean.....................

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by nani on Feb 5^th, 2005, 11:45pm

on 02/05/05 at 23:39:25, Sean_C wrote:

Call me a puss see if I care ;;D

Sean.....................

OK...Puss... ;;D Just kidding, honey

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by Sean_C on Feb 6^th, 2005, 12:02am

LMAO Nan, its not easy when a girl says it LOL ;;D

Sean.......................

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by lionsound on Feb 6^th, 2005, 10:31am

<--------------------- :)

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by taraann on Feb 6^th, 2005, 10:55am

I also do my childbirth breathing alot now. I do my best to unclench but thats a bit difficult for me still. I am pretty good about not yelling or repeating swears to much anymore ;;D Two kids that are parrots helped that part. But all in all I agree. I don't like for my kids to get upset (of course) so I have gotten really good at keeping myself calmer with breathing.

And Jimi like you I have been trying to WILL myself to be still. Its not so hard with low to medium kip anymore. High kips I haven't mastered "self control" yet, and don't know if I ever will, but it's a good semi distraction to try. I also went many years without a working preventative and still have not found a working abortive.

I always wondered if I was the only one who tried to control the moving thing.

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by TonyG1 on Feb 6^th, 2005, 11:00am

on 02/05/05 at 22:44:41, Jimi wrote:

I can totally relate to this post. I have to "make" myself do these steps; however, it has to be a consistent and constant act of the will -- else should the pain spike through that barrier -- the pacing, etc. begin.

One thing I have noticed is that you get better at it over time and, in fact, with each passing attack.

Title: Re: Living With The Beast; Part I
Post by lionsound on Feb 6^th, 2005, 11:25am

I love this thread! All of the personal coping skills are so interesting to me because I only figured this out a year ago and I can totally relate.

I meditate everyday. I started meditating to feel better …to help me with depression and anxiety(helps a lot with my panic attacks). And it has helped with that and tons else. But it also has helped, as many of you have described, to cope with my HA pain.

The first time this happened I’d used up all the trex allowed and was staring at my “make me vomit”Stadol NS, but had forgotten the “don’t make me vomit” phenergan and should have been ER bound. I refused because we were away at me husband’s reunion and I was NOT going to have an ambulance pick me up. So I rocked and paced and cried and quickly worked myself into panic attack to go with my K10 and at some point something clicked in my head that maybe breathing and counting my breaths would be better than what I was doing, so I focused and I breathed and it helped. I was still rocking, but not freaking out.

I remember when the pain lifted at 2am. My husband and I went for a walk ….it was a beautiful May night. :)
(Had I used that Stadol…I wouldn’t have walked for about three days.)

Lots of folks mentioned practicing, I get that….
One of the reasons it has worked well for me is because when I meditate every day I am practicing this skill daily. (I need to practice that much.lol) So when I need to call on it…it is there. I don’t have to think too much about it. I will say that sometimes, when I’m drained and tired I do need to be reminded, but those that are close to me know this is something I can do so they remind me to breathe. :)