|
||
|
Title: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Melissa on Jan 20th, 2005, 7:31pm I wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to post this here, but you all are my family, so here goes... On Monday, the 17th, I finally went in for my mammogram that had to be put off twice due to weather and a receptionists mistake. Anyway, after I had my x-ray done, I got a call the next day with a lady telling me I needed to come back in to have another one done. She said it's probably nothing, and proceeded to set up a date for my next mammogram. After I hung up the phone, I felt like I had just gotten done with a phone call that was a dream. Anyway, I go back for it on Monday the 24th. Today I got the letter in the mail, that said the scan found something, and that most cases are benign(sp?). That send me reeling again, and those who know me, know I have bad anxiety and along with that come the anxiety attacks. They also know that in 2001, my Mom died of breast cancer. Anyhow, I have yet to pop a Xanax, because I don't want to go back down that road, and thought it'd be better if I just wrote down about it here. Only 1 family member here knows what I've been going through, and though I am ever so grateful for their attempts to ease my mind, I still needed to "get it out" somehow. The past 4 days have been a whirlwind between crying, worrying and the rare moments of calm due to watching tv, a movie or reading. There are people here who have gone through such heartache, that it makes my ordeal pale in comparison, so I won't babble. Thanks for letting me vent everyone. mel |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by high_commander on Jan 20th, 2005, 7:40pm Vent away, I've had five of those nasty little lumps and have had four removed. So far so good, no cancer. The fifth was biopsied and it to was benign. There is also a predominance of breast cancer in my family, so I hope my response helps in some way. The last two were just done Oct. 26th '04. The scars are still healing. The anxiety is the worst, and I will be praying for you. This affects you, right now, that makes it just as important as others anxieties... Keep us posted Danielle |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Redd715 on Jan 20th, 2005, 7:44pm Mel, It's natural to worry some, but please try not to let it get to you yet. Most things are easily taken care of, they are just being carful to be sure. You are young, healthy otherwise except for this damn beast. Just go though with this and be upbeat and positive till you know something for sure. Worrying about something that may not happen means you've worried for nothing. Worry and it does happen...then you've worried twice. I'm close Mel, let me lknow if you ever need to talk ok? |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by kimh on Jan 20th, 2005, 7:53pm Hey Mel, Just wanted to send ya a cyber hug and some positive vibes*** Thinkin of ya. It's ok to be scared and normal. Try to keep busy and keep talking to people. It helps getting through that dasterdly anxiety. Well wishes, kim |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Jonny on Jan 20th, 2005, 7:56pm on 01/20/05 at 19:31:03, Melissa wrote:
Should not have them in the house if its the road im thinking, if not, then im just a dumbass ;;D Ive posted before how my liver function test came back bad and I had to retest, I spent two weeks on the net reading how I was going to die (Scared the shit out of me) Turns out the first test was wrong....I so bad wanted to kill someone! Hang in there Mel Baby :-* .............................................jonny |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Melissa on Jan 20th, 2005, 8:03pm Thank you everyone. I really do appreciate the understanding and support. love, mel p.s. Jonny, I was on Xanax back in the summer. It was an absolute bitch to get off of, so I never want to go back on it again... |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Kris_in_SJ on Jan 20th, 2005, 8:40pm My dear old mom is fond of saying .... "Wait to worry." I'm still not sure what she means by that, but I can tell you that in the past 6 years, I've had nearly 12 mammograms - 6 were for screening, 4 were for "call-backs" and the rest were in-between. After the first "call-back" they wanted to do a type of biopsy called steriotactic - just the name freaked me out. Took my films for a second opinion to a surgeon who was all for monitoring me for awhile - meaning mammograms every 6 months for a few. (I also have a strong family history). All was cool. This year I had another call-back and am now back on the 6-month schedule. All this is beside the point, because, according to my surgeon (that I still see every year), more women are called back for additional views these days simply because the equipment used is so much more sensitive and sophisticated. It rarely means there's a true problem, merely that they need an additional view of the area. Hang in there, but take a Xanax if you need to. PM me any time if you need to talk. Hugs, Kris |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by broomhilda on Jan 20th, 2005, 8:54pm The waiting is the hardest thing isn't it, it gives us time to think which is not good.... Mel big hugs on over, thinking of you and guess what? Instead of the Xanaz grab a marguarita and dream of these two coming to your rescue... http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/153/862224.jpg [smiley=hug.gif] Here for you if you need to talk! |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by john_d on Jan 20th, 2005, 8:56pm Hey Mel, Anxiety really sux doesn't it? It's almost worst than the problems that cause it. Hope to hear the lab tests come back clear. Bet they will. John |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Leesa on Jan 20th, 2005, 10:04pm Mel, had 2 lumps removed several yrs. ago one on each side, and they were nuttin just a pain. *PHEW* They dont make it easy to deal with thats for damn sure. >:( We are here if you need us. Keep us posted. Got the mojo, vibes, and prayers on the way from down south for ya hun. If ya need to talk let me know. Love, Leesa :-* |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Mastifflvr28 on Jan 20th, 2005, 10:04pm Vibes going up to you Mel. Let us know when you find out, cause we'll be all worried for ya. Take care, love ya, (stay away from the smokes too) Mast |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Jeepgun on Jan 20th, 2005, 10:09pm Right on, Mel. What everyone else has said. Hang in there. I'm sure it will turn out to be nothing, and even if it turns out to be a lump, chances are, it is benign. No matter what, you are a survivor, and you will come through this. I believe in you, my friend. [smiley=hug.gif] -Frank |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Renee on Jan 20th, 2005, 10:12pm Mel, I'm in the same boat as Kris with the every 6 month mammogram, etc etc. It is very common for many women to be "watched". Are they comparing these films to previous year's films? Don't forget to breathe. Anxiety attacks can sometimes be thwarted if you pay attention to your breathing and take slow deep breaths. This breathing has stopped me reaching for the Xanax many times. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, Renee |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by minnie on Jan 20th, 2005, 10:17pm Awe Mel [smiley=hug.gif] I'll be thinking of you and praying for good results.keep the faith. Minnie |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Paula on Jan 20th, 2005, 10:23pm Oh Mel I will pray with ya. Venting is a good thing. I am sorry it is so stressfull. I have no idea what I would do in the same spot. You will be just fine no matter what the outcome because you have a hole world of CH people praying with ya. Love Paula (remember me and the ameretto?) |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by cootie on Jan 20th, 2005, 10:24pm Wow mel I just went thru the same thing and got the SAME letter......freaked me out to where I was shakeing. I called the docs office. The nurse told me....if the exray had read BAD they would of called me to get rite back in there the NEXT DAY !!! So she said they were just wanting to redo it to keep track of any abnormalities and figure out if it was just ME or if anything was changeing. So I had it redone and even went in to see the doc.....he said they tend to over read the tests but it is for your own good cuz the sooner they find a 'change' the better off YOU are. So if ya keep up with it and have it done regular the tests will probly save your life in the future if it runs in your family. I had no previous test done so they needed to do it again (changes happen fast too) to compare with and keep track of. And yeah......not cool to get back on the xanax if ya got an addictive nature. I for one think it can HELP a person if taken JUST a day or so AND NEVER EVER DAILY get thru anxiety. I myself can do that.....but most can not. I am addicted to not ever gettin addicted Pam |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by LadyElaine on Jan 20th, 2005, 10:26pm Prayers coming your way! |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by eddie on Jan 20th, 2005, 10:52pm you'll be in my thoughts and prayers hugs eddie |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by taraann on Jan 20th, 2005, 11:08pm The waiting game is the hardest to deal with. Hang in there, and per the advice given to me about waiting anxiety "don't worry till you KNOW you have something to worry about" [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by OneEyeBlind on Jan 20th, 2005, 11:15pm For three years now, Mel, they keep scanning my husband for cancer. I have learned how not to worry, but it took years of practice ..... I don't suggest this route. However, I do agree with Kris's mom ..... too bad it is way easier said than done ! on 01/20/05 at 20:40:26, Kris_in_SJ wrote:
So, rather than worry about you, I'm just gonna say a little prayer. That works so much better than anything else ! |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Melissa on Jan 21st, 2005, 7:10am :'( Thank you so much everyone! The personal stories you have given me have helped calm my fears and get that sinking feeling out of the pit of my stomach. Whenever I start feeling like that, I'll just come to this thread and read it. I am so blessed to have this family :-*, mel |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by hilbily on Jan 21st, 2005, 7:55am Hang in there, girl. He promised not to give us more than we can handle (though sometimes I question his high confidence in me). You'll be in our prayers! Jim |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by guesst on Jan 21st, 2005, 8:35am Thinking of you Mel. Hoping for the best. :-/ |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by floridian on Jan 21st, 2005, 8:55am I can think of many friends and family that have been put in the position of waiting for test results - and usually it was negative (which is positive). The worst I can think of were two pregnant women (sister in law and wife's friend) who were told "something does not look right" when everything ultimately turned out fine on the retest - what effect does that stress have on the developing child?? I guess there's no way to get instant results that are always correct, and the people that schedule the tests are not always simpatico. Just focus on the positive - odds are that this is just an aggravation. |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Charlie on Jan 21st, 2005, 9:04am Fear not Mel. As soon as you post here, whatever's bugging you hasn't a chance. Rant away and if they screwed up the tests, be sure to get the address so we can send Jonny. Charlie |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by cat14 on Jan 21st, 2005, 9:54am Like what alot of people say here, I have been through kinda the same. Its sucks how they make you wait!!!! Please try to think as positive as you can, and I KNOW thats hard. I am thinking of you and praying for you! [smiley=hug.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by sandie99 on Jan 21st, 2005, 10:09am Mel, [smiley=hug.gif] I am glad that you told us. I can only imagine all the things which are going through your mind right now... But you need to relax. You will know for sure when you do. Worrying won't make that happen any sooner. We went through the same thing when we were waiting to the news about my dad and the tumor in his head back in 1996. My advice is what he told me back then: do whatever that helps you get by without going crazy. You said that movies, TV and reading help, so turn to them when you can. And talking does help... I know that when my dad was fighting againt cancer, we didn't tell everyone about it because we didn't have the strength to answer to all the questions all the time. But those who knew and let us talk, it helped a lot. You're in my prayers. Wishing you strength, Sandie |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by rickyshot on Jan 21st, 2005, 11:49am It is perfectly natural to think the worst but in actuality, the worst is in the minority. I have worked for drs for 30 years and seen everything. The vast majority of these things are errors in the xray, benign cysts or benign lumps. I personally went through this 3 months ago. They sent me to the Breast Center right away after a mammogram which showed changes for the first time. Turned out on ultrasound I had cysts which the doc said would never be cancerous. Why do I have cysts now, A I take Premarin, b I drink caffeine (teas) so those might be the reasons. But you could go nuts thinking the worst...... [smiley=eek.gif] [smiley=gocrazy.gif] |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Margi on Jan 21st, 2005, 11:51am Melissa, good for you for posting about this. It does help to talk and bring things into perspective. You'll get through this because you have all of us standing right with you, kiddo. My mom's been through this twice so I, too, can relate to the fear of "the callback". Even if it's a positive result, Mel, you WILL get through it. Early detection and being proactive about this is the best weapon. My mom's had two surgeries for this and she's fiestier than ever honey. Please know that I'm right there beside you, holding your hand, ok? Please keep us posted and we'll be anxious to hear your results from Monday's tests. And so nice to see Paula posting in this thread!! :) BIG hugs, Margi |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Bethany1 on Jan 21st, 2005, 11:55am Hang in there Mel, I know its worriesome. I swear these doctors do it on purpose. Its the waiting that is the toughest part. You will get through it, your a tough cookie. Stay positive and keep your chin up. My thoughts are with you girl. [smiley=hug.gif] B |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Mark C on Jan 21st, 2005, 12:06pm |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by lionsound on Jan 21st, 2005, 12:33pm Mel, I can be really anxious too. (understatement of the year. lol) You are doing all the right things.....I'm so glad you posted to let us know and vent...and that it's helping. You are always here for people and now it's our turn to be there for you. :) So here's one more [smiley=hug.gif] and more vibes for you and know that you will be in my thoughts. Be well, Lionsound |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by kissmyglass on Jan 21st, 2005, 5:16pm Hang in there Mel! Keep us posted okay? :-* Kev |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Gator on Jan 22nd, 2005, 3:16am Your got prayers going up from me as well, though you probably don't need them. My wife has had the callback thing a couple times. So far it's all been for nothing, but I understand the anxiety. Jane went through the whole "what if" syndrome while waiting to be re-examined and for the results to come back. Chin up, girl. You'll do fine. Gator |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by docdog on Jan 22nd, 2005, 6:30am Easy does it Mel. You gotta hang in there and keep the worry level down. Keep busy and focus on postive thoughts. My thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless you. Doc dog :) :) :) :) :) :) :) ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Karla on Jan 22nd, 2005, 10:11am I take xanax for anxiety attacks. I can relate to that. I have had false reading and had biopsies only to be told it is nothing and I have lumpy boobs. Talk about discourageing me from self exam and wanting biopsies done. What a joke. It will just be another one of theose lumps from my lumpy boob. The dr was such a jerk about the whole thing to. I even had a pap test come back saying I was in the second to last stage of cervix cancer. I died. I was sent the test report in the mail. With company letter head on it and everything. I scheduled a biopsy to be sure. They looked at me like why are you here your test came back fine. I showed them my letter. Major confussion. I had the biopsy done just to be safe. Nothing was found. I should have sued them. Don't worry until all the tests are done and the final result is in. I will be praying for you. |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by LeLimey on Jan 22nd, 2005, 2:39pm As Tara says, the waiting is the worst. Think positive! I'm thinking of you too love Helen |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by cschick on Jan 23rd, 2005, 11:47am Oh Mel. I have been reading this thread since you first posted it. I really don't have words of wisdom for you - all I can say is that I will be praying for you and I know everything will be just fine! Keep us updated and rant and rave away! It's good for the soul! Love to you- Karen |
||
|
Title: Re: my anxiety is through the roof Post by Redd715 on Jan 23rd, 2005, 1:13pm This just came in my email Mel and the first thing I thought of was you and what you are going threw right now. I hope this helps.... Worrying about something that may never happen is like paying interest on money you may never borrow. Thinking of you Sis and I do mean it, if you need to talk, let me know. |
||
|
Clusterheadaches.com Message Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.1! YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved. |