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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> The truth of creation
        
(Message started by: BarbaraD on Jan 12^th, 2005, 10:20pm)

Title: The truth of creation
Post by BarbaraD on Jan 12^th, 2005, 10:20pm

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and
> > the
> > Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
> > cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and
> > red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman
> > would live long and healthy lives.
> >
> > Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben
> > and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts.
> > And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
> > And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as
> > long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And
> > they gained 10 pounds.
> > And Satan smiled.
> >
> > And God created the healthful yogurt that
> > Woman might keep the figure that Man found so
> > fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from
> > the wheat, and sugar from the cane and
> > combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to
> > size 14.
> >
> > So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And
> > Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing,
> > buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.
> > And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
> > following the repast.
> >
> > God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
> > vegetables and olive oil in which to cook
> > them."
> > And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
> > chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
> > platter. And Man
> > gained more weight and his cholesterol went
> > through the roof.
> >
> > God then created a light, fluffy white cake,
> > named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is
> > good." Satan then created chocolate cake and
> > named it "Devil's Food."
> >
> > God then brought forth running shoes so that
> > His children might lose those extra pounds.
> >
> > And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control
> > so Man would not have to toil changing the
> > channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
> > before the flickering blue light and gained
> > pounds.
> >
> > Then God brought forth the potato, naturally
> > low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And
> > Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
> > the starchy center into chips and deep-fried
> > them. And Man gained pounds.
> >
> > God then gave lean beef so that Man might
> > consume fewer calories and still satisfy his
> > appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
> > 99-cent double
> > cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with
> > that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size
> > them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man
> > went into cardiac arrest.
> >
> > God sighed and created quadruple bypass
> > surgery.
> > Then Satan created HMOs.
> >
> > Thought for the day .....
> > There is more money being spent on breast
> > implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's
> > research. This means that by 2040, there should
> > be a large elderly population with perky boobs
> > and huge erections and absolutely no
> > recollection of what to do with them.

;;D Hugs BD

Title: Re: The truth of creation
Post by Kevin_M on Jan 12^th, 2005, 10:34pm

on 01/12/05 at 22:20:25, BarbaraD wrote:

Then God brought forth the potato,

And then man and woman were remade in its image.

Good post Barb. ;;D

Kevin M

Title: Re: The truth of creation
Post by nani on Jan 12^th, 2005, 10:36pm

ROTFL Barb...that was a good one! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: The truth of creation
Post by broomhilda on Jan 12^th, 2005, 10:46pm

[smiley=laugh.gif] Too funny, LMAO, thanks!!!

Title: Re: The truth of creation
Post by BarbaraG on Jan 12^th, 2005, 11:14pm

LOL good to hear from you BarbD.. Take care.
BarbaraG

Title: Re: The truth of creation
Post by Langa on Jan 13^th, 2005, 3:31am

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: The truth of creation
Post by BarbaraD on Jan 13^th, 2005, 5:19am

Hey there Barb -- what the devil have you been hiding from? Miss you -- Still waiting on Chapter 1 ;)

Hugs BD

Title: Re: The truth of creation
Post by karma on Jan 13^th, 2005, 9:02am

Sad But True.

Imagine +/- 18,000 mostly overweight American cruise passengers departing ships in a single day.

Happened here yesterday.

No offense to Americans or heavy folks. Just an observation.

Title: Re: The truth of creation
Post by sandie99 on Jan 13^th, 2005, 9:49am

Thanks! ;;D
I needed the laugh!

PFdays,
sandie99