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Title: A little something I call...... Post by Jonny on Jan 7th, 2005, 8:52pm THE LORDS OF JONNY KARMA! I stood before the Lords of Karma after having rested in dark solitude for what might have been seconds or centuries. Still half-asleep and bleary eyed, I numbly listened as they droned on and on about my debits and credits, and listed each deed in a flat monotone. "...sending you back to Earth for the fulfillment of the aforementioned outstanding debits, until such a time as..." Snapping fully awake, I exclaimed in disbelief, "Earth?! Again?!" Looking somewhat nervous, the Lord immediately before me licked his lips, nodded, and glanced hastily at the others. "I don't want to go back to Earth! Not again! No way! You're out of your mind if you think I'm..." "I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do," he said primly. "As long as you have unresolved karma in that world, you must return." Shoving a sheaf of papers at me, he continued, "Now, if you will just sign these forms in quadruplet, taking care to reference paragraphs 'a' and 'c,' sentences four and eight respectively, and paragraph 'd,' sentence two, which reads, 'I, Soul, agree to...'" Snapping the ornate pen in half, I shouted, "Now wait a minute! Hold it right there! I am so sick of Earth I could vomit! I want this to be the last time I ever go back there!" At this, the Lords of Karma burst into uproarious laughter, while I waited, choking back the blinding rage that washed over me. At last, the laughter subsided to nervous tittering, and the Lord before me wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe. Still threatening to break out in laughter again, he sputtered and asked, "Do you have any idea what you are asking? Do you know that if this is to be your last incarnation on Earth, how much karma you are going to have to work off? Lifetimes upon lifetimes, you've been piling this stuff up. Just look at it all," he said, laughing as he unrolled a seemingly endless scroll. "So, you think you can just waltz in, hoping to dissolve all of this in one short lifetime?" Looking him straight in the eye, the firmness in my voice belied the rising feeling of foreboding in my gut, and I answered, "Yes. This is exactly what I'm asking." There was a moment of pregnant silence, and suddenly, the Lords of Karma looked sober and almost sad. The Lord in front of me glanced around at the others again, and with compassion ringing in his voice, said, "Dear Soul, if this is your sincere wish, we cannot interfere. If this is the road you choose, you will encounter unspeakable suffering. You will long for death, and encounter betrayal and heartbreak with every step, and even this does not guarantee liberation. I will ask you once more: Will this be your path?" In a loud, clear voice, I cried out, "Yes!" "As you wish!" he roared. With this, I found myself plummeting downward, feeling myself gathering layers and density, yet growing smaller. From all around, the skies boomed with deep, mocking laughter. I opened my mouth to scream in defiance, and found that my voice was tiny, as I slid into a large pair of hands that held me gently but firmly. "It's a boy," said the voice that the hands belonged to. I cried for a long time. Took me four months to write this ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by vig on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:06pm I think it's great. |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by broomhilda on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:08pm How long to type it? Its great Jonny, welcome to the world ;;D |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by PrettyH8Machine on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:09pm Damn dude! That is too fucken heavy. I love it! Don't stop there. If you've got that in you I'm sure there is more. Peace, Phroek |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Redd715 on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:11pm I like it....alot.... |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by RichardN on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:14pm Well worth the effort Jonny Thanks. Richard |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Kevin_M on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:15pm Not bad 8) on 01/07/05 at 20:52:25, Jonny wrote:
Kevin M |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by MOMO3 on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:16pm It was great Jonny. I really enjoyed reading it. :D |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jimi on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:32pm Ok, whoever you are. What have you done with Jonny? [smiley=huh.gif] |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jeepgun on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:36pm Hrmmm... Seems vaguely familiar... :-X >:( :( |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by purpleydog on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:41pm Seems familiar to me too. |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by purpleydog on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:51pm I thought this sounded familiar... THE LORDS OF KARMA (A Short Story) I stood before the Lords of Karma after having rested in dark solitude for what might have been seconds or centuries. Still half-asleep and bleary eyed, I numbly listened as they droned on and on about my debits and credits, and listed each deed in a flat monotone. "...sending you back to Earth for the fulfillment of the aforementioned outstanding debits, until such a time as..." Snapping fully awake, I exclaimed in disbelief, "Earth?! Again?!" Looking somewhat nervous, the Lord immediately before me licked his lips, nodded, and glanced hastily at the others. "I don't want to go back to Earth! Not again! No way! You're out of your mind if you think I'm..." "I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do," he said primly. "As long as you have unresolved karma in that world, you must return." Shoving a sheaf of papers at me, he continued, "Now, if you will just sign these forms in quadruplet, taking care to reference paragraphs 'a' and 'c,' sentences four and eight respectively, and paragraph 'd,' sentence two, which reads, 'I, Soul, agree to...'" Snapping the ornate pen in half, I shouted, "Now wait a minute! Hold it right there! I am so sick of Earth I could vomit! I want this to be the last time I ever go back there!" At this, the Lords of Karma burst into uproarious laughter, while I waited, choking back the blinding rage that washed over me. At last, the laughter subsided to nervous tittering, and the Lord before me wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his robe. Still threatening to break out in laughter again, he sputtered and asked, "Do you have any idea what you are asking? Do you know that if this is to be your last incarnation on Earth, how much karma you are going to have to work off? Lifetimes upon lifetimes, you've been piling this stuff up. Just look at it all," he said, laughing as he unrolled a seemingly endless scroll. "So, you think you can just waltz in, hoping to dissolve all of this in one short lifetime?" Looking him straight in the eye, the firmness in my voice belied the rising feeling of foreboding in my gut, and I answered, "Yes. This is exactly what I'm asking." There was a moment of pregnant silence, and suddenly, the Lords of Karma looked sober and almost sad. The Lord in front of me glanced around at the others again, and with compassion ringing in his voice, said, "Dear Soul, if this is your sincere wish, we cannot interfere. If this is the road you choose, you will encounter unspeakable suffering. You will long for death, and encounter betrayal and heartbreak with every step, and even this does not guarantee liberation. I will ask you once more: Will this be your path?" In a loud, clear voice, I cried out, "Yes!" "As you wish!" he roared. With this, I found myself plummeting downward, feeling myself gathering layers and density, yet growing smaller. From all around, the skies boomed with deep, mocking laughter. I opened my mouth to scream in defiance, and found that my voice was tiny, as I slid into a large pair of hands that held me gently but firmly. "It's a boy," said the voice that the hands belonged to. I cried for a long time. -Frank H. Weeden September, 1997 |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Charlie on Jan 7th, 2005, 9:56pm Good one Jonny. Thanks. My Uncle always said that he'd want to come back as one of his dogs. No sweeter deal there was. Charlie |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jonny on Jan 7th, 2005, 10:18pm on 01/07/05 at 21:32:32, Jimi wrote:
Exactly Jimi......this is not mine......Jeepgun wrote this.....I just thought it would be funny to hijack it off his site. I was wrong.....Frank....never meant no harm dude. Ok you fucks.....lets hear some praise for Franks ultimate writing skills!!!! Sorry bro ;) ..........................................jonny |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by don on Jan 7th, 2005, 10:22pm Quote:
What he means folks is 4 months to type it. Cut and Paste next time ya knucklehead. |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by PrettyH8Machine on Jan 7th, 2005, 10:22pm Frank, one word: PUBLISH!!!!!! Peace, CD |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Redneck on Jan 7th, 2005, 10:25pm Still cool, reminds me of olden chemically altered days ;;D And this is hijacked too! But from who? I've walked through the Halls of Karma I shook hands with both the Devil and God They turned my eyes to the inside to see Where my energies have gone Yes I've run with both all through my life I've respected and reflected them both Yes the sympathy of God as he looked At my life the excitement of the Devil as we talked So Lord have mercy Lord have mercy on my soul The Devil said, "scratch my back and I'll Scratch your back for sure" So you have done all these sins for him My heart could not be pure I found out what means more to me Than anything on this earth To be ready for my judgement day Ready to face the truth So Lord have mercy Lord have mercy on my soul I hope I've done the right things For both your sake and mine I preach in what I live for My only fear is fear of time I wanted to look logical to both my "Maker" and his host But this trip of life must be complete or my cards will be lost. So Lord Please Have Mercy on My Soul [smiley=huh.gif] |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by purpleydog on Jan 7th, 2005, 10:25pm on 01/07/05 at 22:18:21, Jonny wrote:
You got it Frank!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jeepgun on Jan 7th, 2005, 10:25pm No problem, Jonny. I really never intended to post this particular piece. As for the website, it's really not mine. A friend of mine copied a bunch of my stuff from a newsgroup that I was on, set up the site, and then emailed the link to me. I was... stunned? speechless? I don't know... So, I haven't really publicized that site. Given the choice between riches and fame, I'd rather have the money. LOL -Frank |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Ree on Jan 7th, 2005, 10:41pm Frank that was very very cool... you really should be published honey... I am deeply impressed and humbled by your work... ree |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jeepgun on Jan 7th, 2005, 10:43pm Thank you.... |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by vig on Jan 7th, 2005, 11:02pm a tip of the hat to Frank |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Gator on Jan 8th, 2005, 1:54am You have an awesome talent there, Frank. [smiley=bow.gif] Had me hanging on every word as does most of your writings. Gator |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Charlie on Jan 8th, 2005, 2:27am That was your's Frank? Amazing talent you have there and fortunately for us you show no signs of writer's block. :D Keep 'em comin' Charlie 8) |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by cray on Jan 8th, 2005, 2:44am Plaguarism is such an ugly word. Copyirght is much better Frank. |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by OneEyeBlind on Jan 8th, 2005, 8:41am And here I was, with jaw dropped open, thinking ............ Did Jonny go out without his tin foil hat again ? Sheesh, Jonny, don't scare me like that. Nice work Frank ! |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jeepgun on Jan 8th, 2005, 10:30am Thanks again, everyone. :) |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by LeLimey on Jan 8th, 2005, 12:16pm Frank that was bloody brilliant.. I was gripped. Jonny thank you thank you thank you. If you hadn't lifted it that selfish toe-nail wouldn't have shard it with us at all.. what kind of a friend is that huh?! [smiley=huh.gif] Go back and rob him blind! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jeepgun on Jan 8th, 2005, 1:33pm ROFLMAO! Thanks.... [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jonny on Jan 30th, 2005, 9:15am I would like to thank whoever bumped this three week old thread up to the top and then removed their post. PU-SSY ;;D |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jeepgun on Jan 30th, 2005, 9:27am Whoever's bumping this stuff up, please stop. Thank you. PFDAN's to all, Take care. -Frank |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by don on Jan 30th, 2005, 9:37am LMMFAO. You just did. |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by Jeepgun on Jan 30th, 2005, 9:40am No, Don. Whether you believe me or not, I am not the one who's been doing this, and I hope the real culprit will own up to it. In any case, my conscience is clean. Why would I be posting this stuff, when at the moment, I'm doing my best to leave the board? See ya'! -Frank |
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Title: Re: A little something I call...... Post by cootie on Jan 30th, 2005, 3:17pm Why the hell did I jus read Frank is not Frank on here. Now he's a guest.....and jonny too ? There both cool. I jus don't like bein confused (um.....more then normal I mean).....so who's who and why in this land of WHO Pam :-/ Were 'ALL' really virtual GUESTS here ya know ??? |
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