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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Bubba Claus
        
(Message started by: BobG on Dec 24^th, 2004, 6:21am)

Title: Bubba Claus
Post by BobG on Dec 24^th, 2004, 6:21am

Memo from Santa:
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.

His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

Differences such as:
1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other.

And Finally,
8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.
Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus

http://66.223.46.132/bbsimages/T00-561/Reindeer.jpg

Title: Re: Bubba Claus
Post by BarbaraD on Dec 24^th, 2004, 6:30am

Gosh Bob, I'm glad you posted that. Got to get to the store to get some beer and chips for Bubba (we'll do something else with the cookies).

LMAO....

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Bubba Claus
Post by Renee on Dec 24^th, 2004, 7:05am

Merry Christmas Bob, to you and yours!

Bubba better know how to handle snow as we have no snow plows in this part of Texas and could use them right now. :-/

I think I'll leave him some black-eyed peas and corn bread! ;;D

I hope this holiday season finds you pf!
Renee

Title: Re: Bubba Claus
Post by hilbily on Dec 24^th, 2004, 9:26am

I think he's my 2nd cousin on Momma's side :D

Ya might wanna leave him some biscuits and red-eye gravy, he'll love ya forever!!!

Wishing all a joyful and PF Christmas!

Title: Re: Bubba Claus
Post by Bethany1 on Dec 24^th, 2004, 9:37am

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Merry Christmas Bob! ;;D

Title: Re: Bubba Claus
Post by TerryS on Dec 24^th, 2004, 10:24am

Thanks Bob ;;D I do like humor.

God bless to you and your family,

TerryS

PS: I guess since I live in the north my cookies and milk will still be OK. Ahahaha [smiley=hammer.gif]

Title: Re: Bubba Claus
Post by Donna_D. on Dec 24^th, 2004, 11:49am

on 12/24/04 at 06:21:21, BobG wrote:

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Thanks for the warning, Bob....Will have a industrial size can of "Crack Spackle" waiting for the Good Ol' Boy...

Merry Christmas!

;;D

DD

Title: Re: Bubba Claus
Post by becky8 on Dec 24^th, 2004, 4:09pm

Bob, Thank Bubba Claus for helping us out !! And Merry Christmas to you!!!

Title: Re: Bubba Claus
Post by Charlie on Dec 24^th, 2004, 4:23pm

Thanks Bob. Don't know what we'd do widoucha.

Merry Christmas and for God's sake get sumpin' to drink or eat. How do you do it?

Charlie