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Title: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by don on Dec 21st, 2004, 7:43pm She was Soooooooo Blonde . * She thought a quarterback was a refund. * She thought General Motors was in the army. * She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. * She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. * At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius." She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde.. * She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. * She sent a fax with a stamp on it. * Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics." She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde... * She tripped over a cordless phone. * She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate." * She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." * She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... * She studied for a blood test. * She sold the car for gas money. * When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead. * When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home. She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... * When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. * She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. * She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. * She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front." AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE: She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde... She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company. |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by medic1852 on Dec 21st, 2004, 7:46pm :D [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]ROFLMAO |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Redd715 on Dec 21st, 2004, 7:53pm A dumb Blonde, a smart Blonde, and Santa were walking down the sidewalk, when they happened upon a $100.00 bill. Which of the three picked it up? The Dumb Blonde......the other two don't exist... (Just a joke ladies please don't be mad) |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Mr. Happy on Dec 21st, 2004, 7:57pm Great. A readhead mocking blonde's. Where's the justice in this world, RJ |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Redd715 on Dec 21st, 2004, 7:59pm Bite me Randy :P Just not too hard... ;;D |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Kris_in_SJ on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:00pm As a highly intelligent and well-educated natural blonde, I highly resent this thread. However, since this is the season for forgiveness and love .... I forgive you. *smiles* Kris |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Mr. Happy on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:01pm on 12/21/04 at 20:00:11, Kris_in_SJ wrote:
Oh, fer chrissake........give me a break. Like I just fell off the turnip truck, RJ |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Jonny on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:06pm on 12/21/04 at 20:01:58, Mr. Happy wrote:
Shit! That wasent you that I ran over was it? I hope so ;;D |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by don on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:10pm Quote:
Good. Can you remove your stilletos from my groin now? |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Jonny on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:16pm on 12/21/04 at 19:53:, Redd715 wrote:
Ya gotta love when they turn against their own ;;D |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Kris_in_SJ on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:17pm Don't worry, Mr. Happy ... Should we ever meet, I will be happy to push you off the turnip truck. I still forgive you .... And, Don - I never wear stilletos - only spurs. Kris |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Redd715 on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:22pm on 12/21/04 at 20:16:22, Jonny wrote:
When you bite me Jonny....be sure I give you back your teef... ;;D woooohooo I got two men I told to nibble at me tonight, aren't I in a flirty mood.... [smiley=bloos.gif] |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Jonny on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:27pm on 12/21/04 at 20:22:36, Redd715 wrote:
I laughed so hard the teef almost flew out......LMMFAO ;;D Touche' Redd!!! |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Redd715 on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:29pm on 12/21/04 at 20:27:24, Jonny wrote:
You know you love me Jonny....... :-* [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Jonny on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:33pm on 12/21/04 at 20:29:34, Redd715 wrote:
Yes, you in those white shorts in Nashville almost did me in ;;D |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by don on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:36pm Quote:
They woulkdn't be a jinglin and a janglin from a nice pair of thigh highs would they? |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Redd715 on Dec 21st, 2004, 8:36pm [smiley=blush.gif] |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Kevin_M on Dec 21st, 2004, 9:15pm on 12/21/04 at 19:43:11, don wrote:
Well Don, this blonde smilie [smiley=huh.gif] wants you to know that Door Bell only works if you go inside, where it's all wireless talking. Otherwise, without Taco Bell, how would YOU order at the drive thru. Being Mexican, they can handle that long distance service when you order in English yet get Mexican food. [smiley=duh.gif] There's two ends to the this Bell curve ya know. Kevin M Sorry, couldn't top the "concentrate", "gas money" "she moved or "TGIF" jokes. :-[ ;;D *I've hit a new low |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by echo on Dec 21st, 2004, 10:42pm What are eight blondes in a circle? A dope ring Why do blondes were big hoop ear rings? They need a place to hang there ankles. Two blondes walk into a bar. It's not surprising that the second one didn't see it. I'll go lay by my dish now! Hey Don --- you suck! |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by echo on Dec 21st, 2004, 10:44pm What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brunette? Artificial Intelligence. I kill me. |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by KingOfPain on Dec 21st, 2004, 10:55pm It goes something like this: A guy was doing some work on his car & asked his blonde girlfriend if she could help him for a bit. He was testing the turn signal system. "Go to the back of the car & tell me if they are working" he requested. She moves to the back of the vehicle & then the blonde girlfriend's reply: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no....." ;;D |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Mr. Happy on Dec 21st, 2004, 11:02pm Shit.....I feel a picture coming on..... Yo Blondie, RJ |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by echo on Dec 21st, 2004, 11:13pm Great poster Mr. Happy I need to blow this up, print it and hang it in my office (cube) |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by cootie on Dec 21st, 2004, 11:19pm All I know is I am 100 bucks richer. Blondage Pam ;;D |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by BarbaraD on Dec 21st, 2004, 11:39pm Gee, I hope Nancy C doesn't see this Don. She'll have to call me to "explain" it to her.... :o Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by don on Dec 22nd, 2004, 8:53am A blonde is trying to row a boat across a field. Another blonde sees her and yells out to her "It's people like you that give us blondes a bad name. I should go out there and smack you, But I cant swim. |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Jeepgun on Dec 22nd, 2004, 9:03am ROFL!! True story: In art class in high school, I was sitting next to this charming blonde girl. Our assignment was to create an Indian motif using colors that would only have been available to primitive American Indians. (I hated that fuckin' project...) Anyway, this girl next to me asks, "Do you think it would be okay to use yellow?" I said, "Yeah, I'm sure they had the color yellow." She replied, totally serious: "Oh yeah: Duck's blood, huh!" ..... I turned back to her and said, "WHAT!?!?" :o [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by BobG on Dec 22nd, 2004, 9:47am on 12/21/04 at 23:39:18, BarbaraD wrote:
Wow! Great shot Barbara! Sorry nancy, we know it ain't true. But it was funny as hell. [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by becky8 on Dec 22nd, 2004, 9:53am BUT BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN!!! ;;D ;;D ;;D At least I do anyway!!!! |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by don on Dec 22nd, 2004, 10:00am Quote:
She already called. |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Dec 22nd, 2004, 10:11am What do you call 5 blondes standing next to each other ? A wind tunnel. How about the blonde who drove around the block repeatedly because her turn signal wouldn't shut off? |
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Title: Re: She was soooo Blonde.............. Post by Gator on Dec 22nd, 2004, 10:39am TEXAS DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY 6805 N. LAMAR BLVD. - BOX 4087 AUSTIN, TEXAS 78773-0001 Date: April 29, 1992 TO: All Texas State Safety Inspection Stations FROM: Texas Department Of Public Safety SUBJECT: Automobile Headlight Dimmer Switches 1. Pursuant to Texas Department Of Motor Vehicles Act DMV 294-76892.90, all motor vehicles sold in the State of Texas after September 1, 1992 will be required to have the headlight dimmer switch mounted on the floorboard. The dimmer switch must be mounted in a position accessible to operation by pressing the switch by the left foot. The switch position must be far enough removed from the other foot pedals to avoid inadvertent operation-of-pedal confusion. 2. Included in the above act, and beginning on January 1, 1993, all other vehicles with steering column mounted dimmer switches must be retrofitted with a floorboard mounted dimmer switch of the type described above. The steering column mounted dimmer switch must be disabled or removed. Vehicles which have not made this change will fail the Texas State Safety Inspection. 3. It is recognized that this requirement will cause some hardship for the driving public. However, this change is being made in the interest of public safety. Texas DMV Act 294-76892.90 will revert all Texas motor vehicles to the prevalent dimmer system in use prior to the influx of foreign market vehicles. A recent study entitled "Initiation Sequence In Texas Nighttime Highway Traffic Accidents", was conducted jointly by the Texas Department Of Public Safety, The Texas Department Of Motor Vehicles and The Transportation Research Department Of The University Of Texas. It has shown that 95% of all Texas nighttime highway accidents are caused by a blonde getting her foot caught in the steering wheel. Something very similar to this was read to us at a morning inspection when I was stationed at Whitemon Air Force Base, MO. The officer that read it to us was never known to actually have a sense of humor, so we were all groaning and bi+ching, believing every word until the last sentence. We all about split a gut laughing. All, that is, except for the one blonde girl who actually believed it. It took her a minute to realize it was just a joke, which of course made it all the funnier! Gator |
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