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Title: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by Ree on Dec 9th, 2004, 2:32pm Holiday Eating Tips..... 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly! Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by nani on Dec 9th, 2004, 2:41pm [smiley=laugh.gif] I like that Ree... |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by Jeepgun on Dec 9th, 2004, 2:45pm ROFL, Ree!! Last year, someone commented on my terrible manners. I was so shocked, I nearly dropped my handful of mashed potatoes! |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by Charlie on Dec 9th, 2004, 2:51pm Ditto. Good one Ree. That's hilarious too Frank. Pass the Lutefisk Charlie |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by Melissa on Dec 9th, 2004, 2:53pm Is Lutefisk pickled? Cute Ree, it made me chuckle! :) |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by cschick on Dec 9th, 2004, 2:55pm Quote:
LMAO! That is so true. I will arrive with a lot less organs that I started this life with - they can take everything that isn't f'd up as far as I am concerned! I have a friend that her father says they can take everything but his eyes because he wants to see which way he is headed......I don't wanna know - TAKE MY EYES, TAKE MY EYES!!! |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by floridian on Dec 9th, 2004, 3:09pm Still recovering from the Thanksgiving feast and the Week After Thanksgiving feast :P That post is painfully funny. And we had lutefisk and gravlax for the Week-After feast. With lingonberries!! |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by becky8 on Dec 9th, 2004, 3:13pm Sounds good to me!!!! No diets during the holidays!!!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Dec 9th, 2004, 3:37pm MMMMMmmmmmmm.... Gravy..... Isn't that a new soft drink? |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by Jonny on Dec 9th, 2004, 7:24pm on 12/09/04 at 14:32:07, Ree wrote:
Yum!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Dec 9th, 2004, 7:35pm Ree - I love how you think! Carol |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by Langa on Dec 9th, 2004, 7:40pm Loved #6! - I workout year-round with the exception of December...It's pointless! Not with all the yummy goodies lying around... ;;D Langa |
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Title: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Words to Live By... Post by broomhilda on Dec 9th, 2004, 8:54pm [smiley=laugh.gif]LOL Ree, thanks for the smiles!!! |
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