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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> My son has no brain!!!
        
(Message started by: Karla on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 9:33pm)

Title: My son has no brain!!!
Post by Karla on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 9:33pm

After he was released on signature bail we met with his attourney who reiterated to stay away from the victim, stay out of trouble and see you 12/2 for your hearing to determine charges. He disapeared Mon. Went to school and never came home. Well this am he never showed up for his hearing. We were able to get a 2 week postponment to buy us more time to find him and avoid and bench warrent from being issued. My young son calls me from school and says rumor has it that older son got busted last night for having a going away/I going to jail party in a hotel room in his name. Stupid!!!! I have told him 100x stay out of hotels and not pary there. Cops showed up there was drugs and underage drinking so he gets sever other tickets for the drugs and alcohol. Then we find out he had invited this girl to the party that he had supposidly assulted. She must not be to afraid of him. He was to avoid all contact with her under all situations. He now is facing 2 felonies and 6 misterminors. UG! Someone wake me up when it is over. At least in jail I know he is safe and where he is at. His attaourney mentioned they may be willing to post cash bail or do a signature bail with a braclet program. They can tell where he is at at all times. I don't want him back just to do more stupid things. He can't win right now. Looks like his time went up.

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by broomhilda on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 9:43pm

Awww Karla :-/, I do not know what to say but I am thinking of you and your family, prayers too [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by mawmaw on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 9:44pm

Karla,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know what you mean about knowing he is safe while he is in jail. My son called me everyday for 4 months to bail him out,but I would not cave. I told him that I did not put him in that situation and it wasn't up to me to get him out of it. When they reach a certain age it is almost like their brains shut down. Tough love is harder own you than it is own him. Sending you strong vibes and a lot of prayer.
Cindy

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by nani on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 10:11pm

Quote:

Tough love is harder own you than it is own him

This is very true. Karla- your son is making his choices and even though they aren't the smart choices, they are his to live with. What you and your family must do now is the hardest thing you will ever have to do... you must emotionally detach yourself from him asap. For your sanity and the well being of the rest of the family. This doesn't mean that you should stop loving him or even stop helping him in some ways. What you have to do is "cut the cord" that keeps you emotionally tied to his well being. He must be allowed to fully endure whatever consequences his actions will create. Hopefully, he will learn from it. Hugs and prayers to you and the family. Lots of prayers for him. Forgive me if I can't send a hug to him- I want to slap him upside his head.

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by BobG on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 10:20pm

So sorry to hear he is still traveling the wrong path. Good advice offered by those above and I can't add to what they said.
All I can do is say a prayer for you.

:(

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by cschick on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 10:39pm

agreed with Bob and saying a prayer as well....

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by Charlie on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 10:52pm

This sucks Karla. I hope this kid will keep his mouth shut around the cops. He should say absolutely NOTHING about anything when in custody without a lawyer. NOTHING!

I suppose from what you write, that's more than wishful thinking. This is one hell of a way to get attention. :'(

Charlie

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by cootie on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 11:22pm

Sorry about all this crap you have to go thru......but.....I think yer son is doing what he wants to do and haveing fun doing it......it is probly hurting you more then him. He apparently is too nieve to be scared........he may not have a clue cuz he just isn't in a serious state of mind for whatever reason. He'll find out......and sometimes the hard way is the best. We learn by our mistakes....we either change or make it worse. His choice.......so be it Pam

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by Gator on Dec 2^nd, 2004, 11:36pm

I am so sorry to hear this, Karla. It would appear he thinks he's "bullet proof" and that mom will bail him out whenever he gets in trouble. I think you already came to the answer for yourself. Like you said, at least in jail you know where he's at and he's relatively safe. Not to mention out of further trouble.

I'm thinking his defense attorney should be able to make a case for him with this alleged victim going to his party. She's not acting much like a victim. People who are afraid don't willingly go party with the people they are afraid of. What's really gonna suck is for his lawyer to get him off the original charges and he having to face time for violating his bail.

Continuing the prayers for you and your son.

Gator

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by sandie99 on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 4:25am

[smiley=hug.gif] I am so, so sorry Karla.
Lots of vibes! You're in my prayers...

sandie99

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by john_d on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 7:35am

That is FUBAR

Vibes to you Karla, but your son's behavior is both unacceptable and dangerous (to himself and others) and you are *enabling* it. He doesn't need advice on how to get away with this behavior but rather total intolerance of it. My advice to him would be this, instead of not talking to the police and him getting a good lawyer- STOP committing crimes. And if he won't, he is a criminal and he belongs in jail, not to keep him safe, but to keep his community safe.

A little cold but true IMHO

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by Ruth on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 8:48am

Karla,
With all due respect for you, the advice from John D. is the best that I have read, as a mother who has been down this road I agree with him 100%.
That is not to say that I don' t have empathy for you and what you are going through, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Ruth

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by unsolved1 on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 8:48am

Sorry for all your troubles Karla. I hope things straighten up for you and your son soon !!

Best Wishes,

Unsolved

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by becky8 on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 10:08am

Karla, Sorry you have to go thru more again. Plain and simple to me. Sounds like he has a real call for SERIOUS help (if you know what I mean) Big hugs coming at ya!! [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by echo on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 11:17am

Sorry to read of your sons extreme case of Cranial Rectal Inversion. Glassectomy surgery may be needed so he can see where he's going.

It's time for tough love. Emotionaly hard on you but may be the best for him. He thinks he's bullet proof from prosecution and subsequent confinement, he needs to find out he's not, and he's held accountable for his actions.

[smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by nani on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 11:38am

Quote:

Cranial Rectal Inversion

That is a nice way to say that!

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by ArCane on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 1:25pm

Prayers and vibes heading your way Karla. This must be rough on you. Hang in there.

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 1:40pm

You can get through this....
I understand wanting to sleep through it and wake up when it's over!

You did a fantastic job as a mother.... he's just making some really bad choices right now. Eventually he'll learn from these mistakes and become the man you raised him to be. Have faith.

You are a very strong woman. You can and will handle this and will make it through just fine, and so will he.

love,
Lizzie

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by Cerberus on Dec 3^rd, 2004, 9:56pm

damn Karla....

I agree with the others, he needs help but he's gotta want to get help first.

Quote:

he's just making some really bad choices right now. Eventually he'll learn from these mistakes and become the man you raised him to be. Have faith.

Ya when he's my age and can't do shit about it cause his record comes around to bite him in the ass. :-X

You've tried to protect and shield him from himself for long enough now (you and Ted need peace)... let go and make sure he knows you won't help anymore. Apparently he's gotta learn the hard way....bummer that it means you gotta watch tho :-/

Dang it :(
Ramon

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by LeLimey on Dec 4^th, 2004, 1:45pm

I think its all been said already,, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you
Take care
Helen

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by Jonny on Dec 4^th, 2004, 4:13pm

on 12/02/04 at 21:33:49, Karla wrote:

. He can't win right now.

Sure he can, he just dont want to.

Title: Re: My son has no brain!!!
Post by Biker on Dec 4^th, 2004, 5:51pm

I feel for ya. Things get pretty sour when a youngin keeps doing wrong. Guess he is just having too much fun. Been there myself in my younger years. Hope to never get back there again. One thing for sure. Life's lessons are repeated untill they are learned. Lets hope he decides to learn soon.
Best wishes this Holiday season.