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(Message started by: sandie99 on Nov 30th, 2004, 1:10pm)
Title: Horrible news!
Post by sandie99 on Nov 30th, 2004, 1:10pm
I feel very helpless now...  :'(

I just found out that my cousin's husband has been convicted - he's going to prison for 3 years.  :o
And what he did? Well, he raped a 16-year-old girl and sexually assaulted two others! >:(

I can't even begin to imagine what my cousin must be feeling right now... They have two young sons (8 & 6). Luckily they are too young to read the evening paper headlines! And yes, the story made it to the papers, which makes it worse....

Naturally, we are shocked. No one could have ever imagined that he could do something like this... But I suppose that's how it is too often, right?

Anyways, my prayers will be with my cousin and her little boys. If you guys have vibes to spare, they could use some right now.

Best wishes & PFdays to all,
sandie99
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by ArCane on Nov 30th, 2004, 1:16pm
Vibes for you, your cousin, and her sons.  It must be rough on your whole family.  Might I suggest a divorce and address change for your cousin.  Thats what I would do.
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by marlin on Nov 30th, 2004, 1:20pm
I truly wish the best for your cousin.  You need to find a way for her to get this creep out of her life for good. POS!

What sort of legal system lets a child rapist out in 3 years?  There's ample evidence to suggest that there's NO hope of rehabilitating sexual predators. If I was the father of the 16 year old I know where I would be sitting and waiting in 3 years...
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by john_d on Nov 30th, 2004, 1:24pm

on 11/30/04 at 13:16:12, ArCane wrote:
Vibes for you, your cousin, and her sons.  It must be rough on your whole family.  Might I suggest a divorce and address change for your cousin.  Thats what I would do.


Sounds like sound advice to me.  The only practical thing to do is distance yourself from a rapist, most likely it's a much deeper problem than just bad judgement.  Hopefully he will get help and be prevented from committing anything like that again.
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by nani on Nov 30th, 2004, 1:29pm
I'm sending prayers and vibes to you, your cousin and her children. That is horrible news, sandie. Hang in there... [smiley=hug.gif]
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by Renee on Nov 30th, 2004, 1:34pm
3 years?   >:(

I think he should be castrated as well.

Vibes to your cousin and her sons and ditto on getting away from that predator, far far away.
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by Carl_D on Nov 30th, 2004, 1:36pm
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Sadly, the children are the ones who will suffer the most. Big vibes, hugs and prayers going out here.

Peace,
Carl D
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by Ree on Nov 30th, 2004, 2:07pm
Some families harbor the most dreadful secrets... Gods love to your cousin... I will say a quiet prayer for her Sandie... where are they from?  you can private email me at Ree16angel@aol.com  I like to keep up on issues like this... it hits home......... love ree
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by LeLimey on Nov 30th, 2004, 6:38pm
Oh Sandie what an awful situation. I'm so sorry for all of you, especially your poor cousin as she has to cope with two little boys missing their dad and her feelings against him too..and 3 years???? what bloody good is that?
Hang in there Sandie.. we are all here for ALL of you [smiley=hug.gif]
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by Ruth on Nov 30th, 2004, 7:09pm
That is horrible news and your cousin must just be sick with all of this.
My prayers are with her and the children.
So sorry to hear this is going on in their lives.

Ruth
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by BarbaraD on Nov 30th, 2004, 7:13pm
Prayers to your cousin and to you....

I agree with Renee -- the bastard should be casterated without antisetic and then his balls hung up in the city square. I have no use for pedifiles (or however the heck you spell it). Poor kids.

Hugs BD
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by cootie on Nov 30th, 2004, 8:03pm
Yup that's one BAD situation there.......she should DUMP the dude while the dumpin is GOOD while he is away. Was the guy datein the young girls or where they all in some sort of FLIRTY situation and maybe he dated one.....or sumthin......have heard of guys that have honestly went out with these 'way over mature over sexed' teens and the girls turn on em. And.....the way the law is they WILL win if sex was involved or anything in the line of touching. And get it for rape......sweet revenge. So dunno in this situation.....but in some the guys were trapped by a teen that looked to be mid 20's. Shame on them all Pam
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by john_d on Nov 30th, 2004, 8:41pm
Coots, I know what you mean, it ain't the same.  They cheapen the word 'rape' when they throw it in with statutory rape.   Consensual sex crimes and non-consensual sex crimes should be in totally different categories.  I can't imagine a 16 yo who had consensual sex with a 25 yo being anywhere near the same kind of 'victim' as a woman who was raped.  

   
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by Lapsi_Harmaahapsi on Dec 1st, 2004, 3:58am
Just commenting the 3 years sentence.
In Finland:
In the last year one rape was considered "milder" because the rapist had a steady job.
And people have been charged for assault/battery for "using (mild) force" when stopping an attempted rape.
And being drunk when committing crimes generally gets you a couple of years off the sentence..
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by Svenn on Dec 1st, 2004, 6:17am

on 11/30/04 at 13:16:12, ArCane wrote:
Vibes for you, your cousin, and her sons.  It must be rough on your whole family.  Might I suggest a divorce and address change for your cousin.  Thats what I would do.




Ditto on that


Svenn
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by Jeepgun on Dec 1st, 2004, 9:06am
*sigh* Hang in there... At the very least, if I were in her shoes, I'd grab the kids and GO.  :(
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by Melissa on Dec 1st, 2004, 9:12am

on 12/01/04 at 03:58:51, Lapsi_Harmaahapsi wrote:
Just commenting the 3 years sentence.
In Finland:
In the last year one rape was considered "milder" because the rapist had a steady job.
And people have been charged for assault/battery for "using (mild) force" when stopping an attempted rape.
And being drunk when committing crimes generally gets you a couple of years off the sentence..


That's just terrible... [smiley=nono.gif]
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by sandie99 on Dec 1st, 2004, 11:59am
The Finnish legal system has its faults!  >:(
I can't understand that 3 years is considered to be fair conviction.... It's not. As a woman I am offended. The poor girls will spend more time in therapy that that.

Thanks for the prayes & vibes!  :)

PFdays,
sandie99
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by becky8 on Dec 1st, 2004, 12:04pm
Wow, thats really sick!!! I feel for your cousin, BUT I really feel for the poor little boys. Man, pisses me off!!! Hope your cousin gets out FAST for those kids, they don't understand, they are so innocent to that kind of shit, makes super mad! best of luck to her!
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by MOMO3 on Dec 1st, 2004, 12:27pm
My thoughts go out to your cousin, the boys and the young victims.  It upsets me so about the little boys, I have two boys also 8 and 5  and I can't even imagine what she must be going through.  I pray for your cousin and her boys and hope she can find the strength she needs during this time.
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by OneEyeBlind on Dec 1st, 2004, 9:33pm
Sandy, prayers for your cousin & family and the victims coming your way.  
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by BlueMeanie on Dec 1st, 2004, 9:37pm
:(

Sorry to hear that Sandie.
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by BobG on Dec 2nd, 2004, 1:02am
I'm so sorry to hear of this news.

IMHO your cousin needs to run. Get a divorce. Do everything possible to be sure that monster never gets anywhere close to her or the children ever again.

Rape is a crime of violence. It has nothing to do with being drunk or flirting or if he has a job. The rapist is out to control and humiliate the victim.

In 3 years or less he will be on the street again and mark my words, he WILL attack again. This time he got caught but how many times has he attacked and not been caught?

Please, please watch the boys. Look for signs that they may have been victims also.

Sorry my words may sound harsh but I just had to say it.

Your family will be remembered in our prayers.
Title: Re: Horrible news!
Post by ssantos on Dec 2nd, 2004, 4:54am
Hi Sandie,

This is really terrible news  :( I'm so sorry for what you and your family is going through right now! Especially for those two children - the children feel it  the most. They might be ok for now and not understand and you can still get away with telling a lie but it will affect them later in their lives!

Please hang in there and please stand by and support the kids and their mother - they are going to still need a lot of support - this is just the begining.. Please also suggest that they receive some form of counsiling - there is just no way that someone can get through something like this on their own..

As for the rapist ... unfortunately even spending that time in prison will not convert him into a non-rapist.  Rape is not about the actual pysical act - it's an  emotional act of being and having and showing control!
It's disgusting in our eyes but unfortunately not in theirs..

My prayers are with you and your family and with the poor victims and their families .. May God see you all through this difficult time..

lotsa lv: Susana


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