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(Message started by: Jayne on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:26am)
Title: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Jayne on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:26am
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your

spouse/partner is taking his sweet time:



1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.


2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.


3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.


4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares . . . and see what happens.


5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.


6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.


8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"


9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.


10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.


11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.


12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.


13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"


14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"


And, last, but not least!


15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"





 
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Jimi on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:29am
   You ain't right, you just ain't right!
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by john_d on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:30am

on 11/26/04 at 11:26:22, Jayne wrote:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"


lol, I didn't want to but I laughed my ass off
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Melissa on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:31am
LOL


Holy shit, have you seen the video on TV with the throngs of people at Walmart this morning?  You need a freakin cattle herder in that place. ::)  You won't find me near a Wallyworld the day after Thanksgiving.

Bah
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Jonny on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:32am

on 11/26/04 at 11:26:22, Jayne wrote:
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "LOOK, theres more sinkers than floaters"


;;D
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by john_d on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:37am

on 11/26/04 at 11:32:59, Jonny wrote:
;;D


You ain't right, you just ain't right!

;;D
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Redd715 on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:46am
Think I could get away with having my kids do any of these, and then blame it on teenage mischief making? [smiley=laugh.gif]
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Donna_D. on Nov 26th, 2004, 12:07pm
What you people don't realize is that Jayne actually DOES these kinds of things....

In Nashville, we (Barbara D, Jayne and I) went to the local grocery store.  Jayne picks up a handbasket, puts in on her head and starts flitting through the store saying "I'm a ballooooon!! I'm a ballooooooon!!"

I will let her tell you what she did to poor Barb when we went to Target afterwards.....Poor Barb!


Jayne, you are a riot!


DD
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by LeLimey on Nov 26th, 2004, 1:38pm

on 11/26/04 at 12:07:33, Donna_D. wrote:
In Nashville, we (Barbara D, Jayne and I) went to the local grocery store.  Jayne picks up a handbasket, puts in on her head and starts flitting through the store saying "I'm a ballooooon!! I'm a ballooooooon!!"



You say that like its a BAAAAD thing!!!!
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by vig on Nov 26th, 2004, 1:42pm
::) [smiley=laugh.gif]
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Carl_D on Nov 26th, 2004, 1:51pm
OMG! LMAO! I think me and Jayne together would be a deadly combination in public, especially since I AM THE NUT that actually does this kind of shit (Don't dare me to do it unless you're ready either for a show, or to run.)  ;;D

Actually, the putting condoms in carts thing is most fun when you watch people FIGHT at the checkout ( we actually overheard while controlling the urge not to laugh hysterically a guy yell "Do you think I'd buy these while I have you with me?") Too fucking funny.

The best one to fuck up a cashier and whoever is behind you in line (my own creation):

Take a cart and fill it with KY, Vaseline, spatulas, turkey basters, condoms and BIG wine bottles. After the cashier rings you out and gives you the total, reach for your wallet and shout, "Damn, I forgot my wallet! Daddy's gonna be pissed!"

Wish we'd video'd that one for a good future laugh.

;;D
Carl D
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by LeLimey on Nov 26th, 2004, 2:02pm
If someone pisses me off when shopping they get pregnancy tests if women and hugemongous boxes of tampax if men. Laxatives are another popular choice for either sex
My husband hates going shopping with me but then so does my best friend! I went down to visit her in Margate a couple of weeks ago, its about 3 hours away from where I live so no one knows me... ;)
She went down one aisle and asked me to get her a box of tampax from the next aisle so I did.. and threw them over the top (well actually I threw about six packs)... hit everyone but her and I was yelling "Are these the right ones?"
I then walked away  and as I was walking with crutches no one suspected me at all!
When we got to the checkouts I knew she would be paying by debit card so I kept calling her Maureen ( her name is Lisa) and you should've seen the girl on the checkout not knowing whether to process the payment or not.. I loved every minute!
If laughter really is the best medicine then I should be the healthiest person going! Unfortunately I'm still recovering from the bruises she gave me in the car park!
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by broomhilda on Nov 26th, 2004, 2:04pm
[smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Jonny on Nov 26th, 2004, 2:29pm

on 11/26/04 at 14:02:48, LeLimey wrote:
When we got to the checkouts I knew she would be paying by debit card so I kept calling her Maureen ( her name is Lisa) and you should've seen the girl on the checkout not knowing whether to process the payment or not.. I loved every minute!


You are bad!!!!.....LMAO........As bad as I am ;;D
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Kevin_M on Nov 26th, 2004, 3:14pm

on 11/26/04 at 11:26:22, Jayne wrote:
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart...


Hmmm... some Jaynee hijinks again.   ;)

Let's see... shopping... shopping... shopping... Oh, here's what I've been looking for:
Quote:
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"


Next, onto outdoor activities, where Jayne...

Quote:
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.


And, if lucky to be randomly selected and prepared like a Boy Scout,
Quote:
Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.


Now, 15 "other" things to do at Walmart come to mind, but... after waiting for Jaynee to finish freshening up:
Quote:
Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose


Finding out I got the tent invite to help sort all her damn shoes.   ::)

Ok, I know what list Santa put me on.   :(


Kevin M
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Jayne on Nov 26th, 2004, 4:29pm
about a year ago I was in walgreens...I was about to purchase, tampax a douche set and some sanitary pads. The woman next to me in line had an extra large bag of large depends and a "happy birthday" baloon.
The poor spotty pubescent clerk was all a fluster, and I was trying to stifle my laughter as his hands shook and he kept making mistakes on the register.
I got out of walgreens and laughed so hard I was nearly in need of some depends...that poor guy.
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Nov 26th, 2004, 4:54pm
I work at Wal-Mart, and I was there bright and early for all of the fun (yeah right).  People are crazy.  There was a line waiting to get in the door that formed around 3 a.m.  Once we opened the doors at 6 a.m. they run in as if they are going to war, however this year wasn't near as bad as last year.  I hate that place!
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Redneck on Nov 26th, 2004, 5:49pm
DITTO
hate that place, been in twice in the last 5 years and left pissed off both times. Love the ideas though, I may have to go back  ;;D


LMAO
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by IndianaJohn on Nov 26th, 2004, 6:31pm
Thanks for the much needed laugh!
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Jayne on Nov 26th, 2004, 8:17pm
I walked into Walmart today with the intention of getting some well needed crap.
Once in the middle of the strore, I saw all these shopping carts coming at me from all directions...said to myself, "fuck this for a game of soldiers" left my cart right there and headed for the exit.
The funny thing is, I have attempted to shop at Walmart three times this year....and three times I left empty handed. That place is tooooo much...it's overwhelming.
It's consumer overload at it's best.
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by john_d on Nov 26th, 2004, 8:19pm
hey, go to Target for a game of soldiers, the aisles actually have enough room for more than one cart  ;)
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by cschick on Nov 26th, 2004, 8:24pm
I was a little afraid this morning going to the MORNING MADNESS sale - they ain't jokin'!  Shoot, I was afraid I was going to leave with cart wheel tracks on my back.  Got what I wanted and got the hell out of Dodge, so to speak.
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by LeLimey on Nov 26th, 2004, 8:31pm
no no no no no girls and boys! NO! you aren't going out in the right mindset at all. Girls.. stick a brick in your handbag. I KNOW it makes it heavy but - it is SUCH a satisfying "clunk" when you whack it against the shins of someone who has been bugging you.
You need to get those trollies and drive defensively.. ie right at them, especially if you can do it with a gleam in your eye, twitching your shoulder and alternately muttering and cackling very loud. I can guarantee everyone will stay right out of your way and your shopping will be accomplished with a minimum of fuss.
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Jayne on Nov 26th, 2004, 8:36pm

on 11/26/04 at 20:31:40, LeLimey wrote:
no no no no no girls and boys! NO! you aren't going out in the right mindset at all. Girls.. stick a brick in your handbag. I KNOW it makes it heavy but - it is SUCH a satisfying "clunk" when you whack it against the shins of someone who has been bugging you.
You need to get those trollies and drive defensively.. ie right at them, especially if you can do it with a gleam in your eye, twitching your shoulder and alternately muttering and cackling very loud. I can guarantee everyone will stay right out of your way and your shopping will be accomplished with a minimum of fuss.


Yes, you are exactly the reason I got the hell out of walmart today.....were you there?

You know, they say that men are the "hunters and the gatherers."  I disagree...just go shopping the day after thanksgiving and tell me who the real "Hunters" are.

Women with bricks in their bags and twitching eyes.
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by cschick on Nov 26th, 2004, 8:49pm
I am much too mellow of a person to face that mess again in this lifetime!  I will be staying home where I belong next year day after Thanksgiving!  SCARY SHIT!  Helen I think I may have seen you today, too!  Are you sure you live in England?
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by cootie on Nov 27th, 2004, 12:19am
Daaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......I must be weird (don't answer that) cuz I am in Walmart about every 3 or 4 days !! Always runnin outa stuff or dog food whatever.....and they got some cool clothes for them 'gotta get away' days ta look at.  Kinda one stop shoppin for me cuz ours is the SUPER DUPER Wallyworld. I set the dam alarm off when I leave alot and it pisses me off......worse was when I was ina bad mood and yelled FUCK real loud when it went off. I growl at people when they bug me....so no problem there. I DON'T like it when men stare at me when I am serioulsy lookin at thongs. Snip and duck Pam
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Jonny on Nov 27th, 2004, 12:24am

on 11/27/04 at 00:19:38, cootie wrote:
I growl at people when they bug me....so no problem there.


Theres something about people with tats and growling......LMMFAO ;;D.....it scares the shit out of joe normal....LOL
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by cootie on Nov 27th, 2004, 12:59am
I love it when people grab there kids when they are in my path in the stores......or they yell at them to 'stayclose to mommie' when I am in the vancinity. Stupid people tricks Pam  
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Charlie on Nov 27th, 2004, 2:19am
Tell everyone at checkout that you actually found something not made in China.

Charlie
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by sandie99 on Nov 27th, 2004, 2:45am
Hmmm... I wonder where's my nearest Walmart...  ;;D
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by BarbaraD on Nov 27th, 2004, 7:03am

on 11/26/04 at 12:07:33, Donna_D. wrote:
What you people don't realize is that Jayne actually DOES these kinds of things....

I will let her tell you what she did to poor Barb when we went to Target afterwards.....Poor Barb!

DD


Jayne is definitely FUN to go shopping with. I'm ready to go to Wallyworld and try the new ideas out. Ready Jayne -- my knickers are dry and I'm ready to go.......

Hugs BD
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by john_d on Nov 27th, 2004, 8:32am

on 11/27/04 at 02:19:46, Charlie wrote:
Tell everyone at checkout that you actually found something not made in China.

Charlie


Walmart sux.   I watched this Frontline the other night, http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/walmart/view/, left me sickened.
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Kevin_M on Nov 27th, 2004, 8:52am

on 11/27/04 at 08:32:34, john_d wrote:
I watched this Frontline the other night,


Saw that a year ago or so too John.  

Being that I have choices of where to shop here, haven't been to a WalMart due to seeing that.  I'm sure they don't miss me.


Kevin M
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Jonny on Nov 27th, 2004, 10:12am

on 11/27/04 at 00:59:18, cootie wrote:
I love it when people grab there kids when they are in my path in the stores......or they yell at them to 'stayclose to mommie' when I am in the vancinity. Stupid people tricks Pam  


LMAO....Pam.....I get the same deal ;;D

Little do these people know...we would help them if they needed help faster than joe normal....oh well...Fuck'em ;;D
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by lionsound on Nov 27th, 2004, 12:47pm

on 11/27/04 at 10:12:07, Jonny wrote:
Little do these people know...we would help them if they needed help faster than joe normal....


Well, we know you would. :)
Title: Re: 15 things to do to cause a riot @ Walmart.
Post by Charlie on Nov 27th, 2004, 1:13pm

Quote:
Walmart sux.   I watched this Frontline the other night,


Yeah. I saw that the other day too. I was never crazy about the place but I didn't realize just how big the come-on low end price scheme was. It's not easy for me to compare. I get some decent ebay deals on guy toys now anyway.

There has always been something unnerving about the place.   http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/satan.gif

Charlie


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