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Title: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by Carl_D on Nov 25th, 2004, 2:11pm Already had one friend fall apart on me today after being up again all night (pain don't let you sleep) and all I can think about right now is I have to bury another friend. Done with asking the questions "why" and just trying to deal with it. For now though, I have to regain my composure through very heaving shadowing, put on a smile for my niece and nephew and head over to my brothers house. Thanksgiving is a tough holiday for me anyway, since in '88 my dad died two days before. So with the gloom of the 16th anniversary just passed, going through alot of major physical pain right now, I'm trying to make sense out of a senseless murder that shouldn't have happened. Sorry...just letting it out here so I don't have to hold it in all day. Peace, Carl D |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by vig on Nov 25th, 2004, 2:21pm Let it all hang out bro.... :'( |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by Redd715 on Nov 25th, 2004, 2:37pm Carl so sorry to hear about your day going so bad. I just got a phone call (not ten minutes ago) from my brother Terry, that our other brother Kevin is in the ICU with congestive heart failure. This seems to be a pretty depressing holiday season for many of us this year... Carl I'll keep haning in there if you promise me you will too ok? Even if it's by the fingernails...we'll keep hanging in ok? Deal? |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by kimh on Nov 25th, 2004, 2:47pm I may take a spank for this........but it needs to be said...... Life is never going to be fair - so you need to get yerself properly prepared - OVERCOME. You will spend the majority of your life recovering from life's big blows. OVERCOME. There is always someone who has it worse than you - OVERCOME and make that person's life a little bit better. Carl, If things are that bad and you need help getting it together, then come and see me. I have an extrra bed, good company and an attitude. You've gotten excellent advice here but it keeps backing up.........Live and Do. Why? Because you can. :) Address hate mail to my very public e-mail....... 8) |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by Charlie on Nov 25th, 2004, 3:05pm Damn Carl. Sorry for this and you sure are due for a break. In a way, I know a bit how you feel. My parents died around Christmastime. Ain't gonna happen again though. ::) Keep doing what you have to do and try to have a good day. Charlie |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by nani on Nov 25th, 2004, 4:31pm Carl and Pegg, I'm so sorry about what's happening in your lives right now. :'( Holidays are a bad time for bad things to happen... I would like to say that kim is right in many ways. I don't think it's our job here on earth to make sense of what happens...it's more our job to accept and move forward, grateful for whatever lesson we learned in the process. This is how we grow as human beings and we have the choice to either become bitter and sorrowful, or use our personal tribulations to grow and give back. It's hard to remember that when we're drowning in a sea of shit... but it's do-able. I'm sending [smiley=hug.gif], PF wishes and lots of love to both of you, you are in my prayers and my heart... :-* |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by lionsound on Nov 25th, 2004, 7:01pm Strengthening vibes and hugs for you Carl. I wish you a smile today and every day after. :) and Redd....vibes to you and your family as well. |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by john_d on Nov 25th, 2004, 7:06pm vibes Carl and Redd, take some time to enjoy a good meal, you deserve it |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by don on Nov 25th, 2004, 8:31pm Quote:
BINGO ! |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by cootie on Nov 25th, 2004, 8:52pm Sorry Carl and Redd.......but yeah life is like war........sum loose the battle along the way. Nothin you can do about it.....grieving in a part of life. But.....it gets "harder" not easier I think.....the older ya get the more ya see fall Pam Hang in there guys........."live" in there honor.......... |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by vig on Nov 25th, 2004, 11:32pm on 11/25/04 at 20:52:03, cootie wrote:
Great thought Pam! |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by Carl_D on Nov 26th, 2004, 2:56am Redd - Major [smiley=hug.gif] Hope you're doing okay, and your brother is also. It's hard when shit like this happens this time of year. Kim, You and Don are right about overcoming what comes our way, and I have always known the greatest 2 rules in life are #2. Life is not fair. And #1. At any time you should think life is fair, it is not. Right now I'm not leaving here because I'm having a good enough time making it to my next X-ray appointment (other stuff than CH going on, etc.) One thing I was thankful for this Thanksgiving is that I am here, and I was with loved ones; though the 1 1/2 hour bailout before dinner with a roaring 10 that a Trex tab was useless for was a drag. I just remember what I was doing a year ago. My sis in law and I was discussing this tonight - Last year I was working with 2 different bands non-stop and trying to prepare for Ouchfest and in one six months now, I have become unactive, as my body doesn't want to cooperate with me, and they don't know why. One thing that grieves me is to know others has it so much worse than I do, but then you have people like my friend Ken who is 37 and never had so much as a normal headache or toothache. After having CH, I'm not as scared with the other shit happening as I probably should be, just dealing with it for now. And yeah, I whine here. It's easier for me to write sometimes than to talk about it. In fact, that is the case most times - which is why I used to keep a journal. After my '93 cycle when I was still episodic, I wrote some morbid shit in that. I kept it to remind me at times things can't get any worse (that is *ahem* they always can.) I eventually burned that journal. Vig, Charlie, Nani, John, Coots, Lion...all of you guys...hugs and happy holidays. Gonna attempt sleep once more (only day 3 awake so far...) Peace & love, Carl D |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by cootie on Nov 26th, 2004, 10:35am Carl......me still thinks you should stay in with some of your band and music stuff "if" at all possible.........cuz you have to feed your soul to keep going and fight all this. I;ve noticed when I am super busy doin something I really really like PAIN decreases 'even' if just a tad for a while and I walk away feeling refreshed and better attitude about things. Did that make sense ? Can't set back and let the pain consume you to where you no longer do your favorite things. Otherwise it is winning. Love to you and hope yer feelin better. Sugar and spice and everything hurts Pam |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by OneEyeBlind on Nov 26th, 2004, 10:59am Carl, I think Coots is right. The busier you keep when really depressed, the easier it is to overcome the depression. I know for me the holidays were a challenge, but I just thought of of my dad and Christopher fighting over the turkey drumstick and somehow, that put a smile upon my face. What you really have to remember is that people that are gone, are in a truly wonderful place, and smile about that. They wouldn't like it if you were drowning in tears. I know my sisters & I kept the laughs up all day and night. It's better than crying ! |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by The_CH-Angels on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:10am This looks like a job for The Cluster Angel. Lord and Creator, Look over our friends Carl and Peggy. Comfort them as in their pain they still have time to grieve and care for those that are in their lives. Wrap your loving arms around them. We ask this in YOUR ~~~ Amen you have just been touched by a CH-Angel!!! |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by thebbz on Nov 26th, 2004, 11:53am Hope ya got some rest and are doin better Carl. When in doubt whip it out. Hate it for ya. BB |
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Title: Re: Not a happy thanksgiving so far... Post by Carl_D on Nov 26th, 2004, 1:44pm Got some sleep - though the pre-cursor dream to my nightly CH was of my nephew stuffing my nose with powdered sugar and tapping it up there up a spoon (sure felt like it when I woke up stopped up and headbanging...though I didn't lose any sugar.) ;) Coots...fighting hard to do music, and moreso than anyone knows right now. I have discs full of material, just no way to do it; and the idea of bringing back the acoustic act Twin Rivers ( which I can actually SIT while I perform) well, ya know what happened to the grande ole acoustic. I still stare at it though ( it was my mistress, whereas my Jackson is my bestest friend in the world - anybody ever fucked THAT up, well, we won't discuss that sort of violence!) Been spending alot of time with my best friend too. Really want to do the next Former disc now that Metal has made the big comeback I told everyone was coming.... no pretty boys, no 'POISON' BS, no happy-go-lucky lets party.... just mean, hard, nasty, angry and ready to kill on impact. Now to just shake this level 4 out of my fucking head that has lingered all fucking morning. God what I'd love to do to the CH beast were it to take a human, or object form of some sort.... ...Drawing paper clowns and stabbing away, Carl D |
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