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Title: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Karla on Nov 19th, 2004, 3:23pm I have no idea. They have held him for a couple of days and haven't told him why he is charged. This may be the best thing that has happened to him. My husband and I have worked with prison ministry for over 8 years now and are very familiar with the facility he is in right now. That gives us some comfort. I just pray that the Lord uses this to wake him up and make him see what a looser he is fastly becomming. Karla |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Jeepgun on Nov 19th, 2004, 3:31pm I once spent three days in county jail as a teen, for being drunk and disorderly, and for battery. (I was fighting. I didn't start the fight, but I was winning with great zeal!) I phoned my dad and he just laughed at me. So I spent three days being treated like a criminal, and that was enough to convince me that I never wanted to go back to jail ever again. I wish your whole family, including your son, all the best, Karla. [smiley=hug.gif] -Frank |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by floridian on Nov 19th, 2004, 4:29pm on 11/19/04 at 15:23:32, Karla wrote:
Who knows, maybe he will be scared straight. But when jails hold people for days with no charges, everyone in society should be scared. You live in North Korea, Karla?? |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by unsolved1 on Nov 19th, 2004, 4:34pm I believe that in most states, if not all states, they are allowed to hold anyone for 72 hours without any charges being formally brought on. "Terrorists" they can hold indefinately. Karla, Since he's already there, I hope it does him some good. Best Wishes, Unsolved |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by floridian on Nov 19th, 2004, 4:46pm on 11/19/04 at 16:34:50, unsolved1 wrote:
It's true that most states allow 72 hours before formal charges are filed - but the arrest report should give a reason why someone's kid is in jail, and that information should be made available to a family so that counsel can be obtained, etc. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Magman on Nov 19th, 2004, 4:49pm on 11/19/04 at 16:46:00, floridian wrote:
Couldn't agree more. Parents should be able to pickup the phone and find out the charges or reason for detention. The best of luck to your family and may your son find and fly the straight and narrow. Peace, -dan |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Nov 19th, 2004, 5:19pm Karla - this must be a very difficult time for you and your family. Any one of us that have raised kids can sure share your heartache. Best of luck with getting it all sorted out and like the others have said, I agree - perhaps this will scare him straight. Hugs to you Carol |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Ruth on Nov 19th, 2004, 5:32pm Well, I can sure feel for you, I have a son that has been in jail plenty and prison and is now in the State Mental Hospital. I sure hope it is nothing serious but I can talk about serious if you need to. [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Ree on Nov 19th, 2004, 5:39pm I will pray that he return to you with conscience, and thought. Sometimes WE have to hit bottom in order to get back up and shine... God Bless his young heart... love to you Ree |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by nani on Nov 19th, 2004, 6:53pm [smiley=hug.gif] to you and the family Karla. You should be able to get a police report w/ info. My daughter ended up in jail for 2 weeks on drug charges, and while it was a horrifying experience for her, that and the ensuing probation really turned her life around. She has been off drugs for a year and a half, and was just reduced to a less supervised probation. Hang in there, hun...it could be the best thing for him. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Karla on Nov 19th, 2004, 8:37pm I am not sure exactly what he did do or did not do but he is being charged with second degree sexual assualt. Max sentence 40 years. Class A Felony. All i am praying is that the truth comes out and that the truth be known weither guilty or innocient. Well he thought being in jail would be so much better than living at home at that he would have more freedom there. First thing I did was I laughed and asked how his freedom is.? He wants to come home. I reminded him of what we must wish for. I just hope and pray this experience wakes him up either way. I really just wish this were a bad dream and I could have my boy back but it looks like like he has decideded to go the long and hard road that is if he is guilty. We are all having a hard time, those of us that know him, believeing that he would do something like that. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by thebbz on Nov 19th, 2004, 8:50pm Sending a prayer. Hang tough Karla, been in your shoes. Our son was charged with roughly the same thing, minimum 2years to life for sexual assault. He is now on probation practically for life and has to register where ever he is. But he and we got through it. It has made him better. Hope the boy turns the right way. All in Gods plan. BB |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Kevin_M on Nov 19th, 2004, 8:53pm A good lawyer. Sorry I can't say more for you Karla. Stay strong. Kevin M |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Karla on Nov 19th, 2004, 9:13pm Thanks for the kind words or wisdom, and comfort. I thought things were bad before. I all do is cry now. I gotta see my shrink this is really effecting me emotionally and I feel like I am going to loose it. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by mawmaw on Nov 19th, 2004, 9:27pm My heart goes out to you Karla. My son also ended up on the wrong side of the law. It turned out to be the best life lesson he ever learned. You and your family will be in my prayers Stay Strong, Maw Maw Cindy |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by nani on Nov 19th, 2004, 10:15pm When my daughter was in jail she would call (collect) everyday and beg us to bail her out. She would cry and tell me how horrible it was. I would tell her that I was sorry she was having a bad time, I loved her, and she was learning about living with consequences. Choosing to use drugs was a bad choice with a lot of very bad consequences. I would remind her that I loved her often and expressed my disappoint as well. I also told her that if we decided to help her out financially we would not consider bail, but could help with hiring a good attorney. I never told her that I felt she needed to be "punished" or "needed to learn her lesson". Sometimes I felt that way, but I never said it. I don't know if how I handled things helped her or not, but I knew that in order to really get better, she at least needed to know I was still rooting for her. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by john_d on Nov 19th, 2004, 10:27pm I can't imagine what you are going through. Prayers to you and your family Karla. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Charlie on Nov 19th, 2004, 10:36pm Quote:
I'm getting real tired of reading about this kind of stuff in what's left of my country. You need a lawyer yesterday. It's too late now, no doubt but he shouldn't open his mouth for anything at all and I mean anything. He needs to clam up. Become mute without a shyster. All my thoughts are with you Karla. Charlie |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Svenn on Nov 20th, 2004, 2:13am Prayers to you and your family Karla. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Jonny on Nov 20th, 2004, 4:56am All good advice, but Charlies is the most important!! ................................................jonny |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by LeLimey on Nov 20th, 2004, 7:49am Oh Karla you poor thing,just try and get through each hour one by one, thats tough enough without trying to imagine too far ahead. I used to work in the prison service here, in a young offenders institution and I can only echo vehemently what Charlie and Jonny have said. He needs a lawyer, they shouldn't question him without one and its his right. Keep us updated, We are all thinking of you [smiley=hug.gif] helen |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Ruth on Nov 20th, 2004, 9:41am Karla, See your doctor and get help coping, because this is just the beginning. It has been a year ago this month sense the dectectives came to my door and told me my son was the prime suspect in a stabbing. He was guilty and sick. It happened at our local store parking lot where I shop. I couldn't go there without getting sick to my stomach. I love my son and I have stood by him, but I have also been angry and depressed about this and other things he has done in his life time. I truly feel for you and no the long road ahead of you. Take care of yourslef so you can be there for you son. Ruth |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by cschick on Nov 20th, 2004, 9:51am I haven't responded to this post because I don't know what to say. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Karen |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by john_d on Nov 20th, 2004, 10:26am This thread is just making me sick, I wish there was something I could do to change things so your kids did not have a place to act out in this way, or have a place to go where these kinds of behaviors are encouraged. These public schools have become raving looney bins, and sending our kids to urban and sometimes rural public schools is like sending them to grow up in a place where the paths to destruction outnumber the paths to success by 10 to 1. It just sux, that's all, it just sux. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by kissmyglass on Nov 20th, 2004, 10:35am Really sorry to hear Karla :( Kev |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by OneEyeBlind on Nov 20th, 2004, 12:18pm Karla, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Tough love is tough, but good for everyone's soul. Hang tight and get the help you need to deal with the problem emotionally and spiritually. This might be the beginning of a better life for your son. Hitting rock bottom means you can only go up. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by nancyc on Nov 21st, 2004, 3:30am Oh, Sis, I hurt so bad for you....I am praying that God will walk with you thru this .....I know how your kids can take your heart and rip it apart....I did alot of hurt to my parents when I was younger and would do anything to go back and repair that hurt to them. But it is too late for that....Thank God, my Mom is alive to know how much I love her now. Know I am thinking and praying for you and your entire family....Your son is on my prayer list and will remain there! God bless you...NOW, take care of yourself, sis...YOU are loved! smiles,nancyc |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Testy1 on Nov 21st, 2004, 1:04pm Karla. You don't know me at all but I'm sorry to hear of your pain. I understand what you're going through as I have a brother doing 25 - life right now and a few other relatives that keep having difficulties as well. With luck, a good lawyer can get your son cleared and I hope it scares him onto the straight-and-narrow. All the best. Jack |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Jeepgun on Nov 21st, 2004, 5:11pm Karla, hang in there. I am hoping that your son is innocent and will be exonerated. He DOES need a lawyer though, and the sooner, the better. Sending you strength and peace. -Frank |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Ruth on Nov 21st, 2004, 7:25pm Karla, We haven't heard from you lately, I hope you are doing ok. Ruth |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Gator on Nov 22nd, 2004, 3:44pm Karla, You and your son have my prayers that this is all resolved soon. I sincerely hope he is not guilty of any wrong doing and can return to a "normal" life and that any lesson is taken to heart. As for you, see your therapist if you need to and work through this. Just remember, emotions are not inherently bad and sometimes crying can cleanse the soul and make the solutions easier to see. All my best to you and your family in this time of strife. For others here Quote:
Karla's son is 18 and no longer a "kid." Whether he is mature or not is not a matter being questioned. He is an adult in the eyes of the law and unfortunately, I think this is probably why Karla couldn't get any information. Charlie, there is nothing wrong "with what's left of your country." You are right that until he has legal representation he should keep quiet, but (and I am NOT saying he is guilty of anything) in consideration of the charges, would you be as outraged if it were your daughter that were the alleged victim of sexual assault and the alleged assailant an unknown? Sometimes the law actually does work to protect the victim and society. The 72 hours are to give law enforcement time to investigate to see if charges are warranted and at the same time protect the public from further potential harm. It sucks in cases where our loved ones are the alleged defendants, but we would be demanding the head the the offender on a stick if the alleged victim was one of our own. Also, this particular charge carries a stigma that will follow a person, sometimes even if s/he is cleared of any wrong doing. In this case, I'd prefer they wait to file criminal charges until they think they are sure. I wish their preliminary investigation had showed no cause to proceed further. It is disturbing that they think they have enough evidence to do so. Again Karla, my prayers are with you and your son. Mike |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by Karla on Nov 22nd, 2004, 7:15pm Thanks everyone for your support. It means so much to me. Just came from court and he was released on a signiture bond. He is to have no contact of any kind with the 14 year old victim under any cercumstances and is not to be alone with minor girls at all. He is to be supervised at all times. Yet he has HS to attend intersting hu. On 12/2 the DA will formally charge him and let us know what the charges are. Our attourney said the DA's office told her they were looking at 2nd degree sexual assult. It is very difficult on me. I was gang raped as a teenager by friends I knew. Then as an adult I was brutally raped. I never pressed charges in either case but I know the scares it carries and If he is guilty he should be punished but if he isn't and is innocent than I hate to see his life dirupted like this because some girl has a vendeta. However, I have made it clear that I love him no matter what. And it is that mothers love that is making me so crazy. I attended church and the service was just what I needed. Hell can not win. It was a great faith builder! It made me feel alot better. Plus I know that ALL things work for God's good. I am sure God has a plan and it will all work out. I just keep praying that the truth comes out and that we can afford this attourney we got befour our money runs out. I will let you know how the 12/2 goes. |
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Title: Re: My lost and missing son is now in Jail... Post by LeLimey on Nov 22nd, 2004, 9:47pm [smiley=hug.gif] |
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