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(Message started by: john_d on Nov 18^th, 2004, 8:36pm)

Title: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 18^th, 2004, 8:36pm

I got stuck in traffic for two hours on my way home today, there were two terrible, fatal accidents on my way- one after the other. Finally got close to home, and at a red light about 5 minutes out from my house someone was flashing there lights from behind me. I slowed down and as he passed he flipped my off, he didn't even look at me, he just sped by like he was in a hurry and stuck his arm way out and flipped me off. I have no idea what he was talking about. This was at the exact same spot where some a couple of kids yelled at me about 6 months ago because I wave to them to turn down there radio, they yelled and screamed and threatened me. I swallowed it that time, I was able to let it ride even though I was fuming. But this time something snapped in me, I completely lost it. I got behind him, he crossed two lanes of traffic to turn, obviously not his route, I followed him trying to make him pullover. I continued trying to get him to pull over, I was out-of-fucken-control. He would not pull-over, he was very smart. If he had stopped I would have ruined his day and my life, I just know it. I am so glad he did not, I was able to turn around and go home peacefully. If he had pulled over it would have been a horrible scene. I go about thinking I have it so together, so mature, and then I come face to face with my own personal evil. When things like this happen I realize just what it means to look at someone in trouble or behind bars or whatever and say, 'There, but for the grace of God, go I'.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by cschick on Nov 18^th, 2004, 8:48pm

Wow, that was quite some story. My hubby just got a concealed weapons permit and I worry about him doing something stupid while driving. He has a really bad temper and just doesn't think about what he is doing sometimes. I am glad you came to your senses and went home. I have been that pissed off before though too so I understand where you are coming from!

Hugs to you and remember to breathe!
Karen

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 18^th, 2004, 8:53pm

that's funny because when I came to my senses that is the first thought that went through me head, I am glad I did not have a gun.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Ree on Nov 18^th, 2004, 9:00pm

that happened to me recently too and all I thought was that the guy had no class to flip off a Sunday School teacher............. jerk...I have Jesus hanging from my rear view mirror.... any ole how John D. I didnt think you had it in you... glad you didnt do anything silly... and glad THAT guy didnt have a gun.........love to you ree

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by alleyoop on Nov 18^th, 2004, 9:01pm

on 11/18/04 at 20:53:28, john_d wrote:

that's funny because when I came to my senses that is the first thought that went through me head, I am glad I did not have a gun.

Or worse yet... He had!

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by cschick on Nov 18^th, 2004, 9:16pm

oh gosh alley I didn't even think about that!

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 18^th, 2004, 9:16pm

Right. Well, I don't really know what would have happened. I think it takes crossing a boundary to hurt another human being, boundaries like that aren't so easy to cross unless you have done it many times before. Which I haven't, I certainly would not shoot another person- what I was actually thinking is that if I had a gun I might take it out like and get in real trouble, not actually shoot anyone with it. But yes, as far as what I mentioned happened, John D has it in him, and he knows it.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by don on Nov 18^th, 2004, 9:31pm

What you described is my morning ritual on my way to work in Boston.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 18^th, 2004, 9:33pm

lol Don, thank you for that bro ;;D

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by cootie on Nov 18^th, 2004, 11:58pm

Road rage !!!! I think everyone has a lill bit of it tucked away in em somewhere. Problem with firearms or a weapon bein waved at the wrong person is that it could be used against ya or gone off in a scuffle and killed someone by accident. You'd of never forgiven yerself......and been ruin'd fer life. Best to jus blow off that shit cuz it isn't anyone ya know.....and ya can't let it get to ya cuz it will 'eat ya alive'. Don't show force unless ya mean ta use it Pam

Too bad I can't follow my own rules here......I have had a BAD habit of goin off on STUPID people.......I've never had enemy's before all these years. But I have learned to 'hate'.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Nov 19^th, 2004, 1:00am

Well, you're just lucky that you weren't one of those cars in the fatal crash.

~Kim

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by K-9 on Nov 19^th, 2004, 3:00am

Kim, that's a good point, at least John is here to tell us this story, and as far as the gun thing, I agree that you shouldn't EVER wave a firearm unless you intend to use it.

As for the story itself John, I'm going through a bit of that myself, "Everyone else is stupid" syndrome and I have no tolerance. I really know better but people just keep pissing me off. My next T-shirt is going to read, "My anger management class PISSES ME OFF!!". Hang in there as we all have things to work on and I happen to share with you on this one. I'm not good at this but I do thing letting it go is the best thing.

Chuck
(sharpening his knife)

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 19^th, 2004, 6:59am

I am lucky I was not in one of those accidents. When I reached the second accident, which I reached just as it happened, I was at first very annoyed. But I managed to stop myself from thinking about me just long enough to send a prayer up for the folks in the cars. I only found out later it was fatal. On the news I found out there were fatal accidents all over Orlando, it was like a crazy night, and everyone was driving very crazy. People have been driving incredibly aggressively for the last week or so.

Coots, Chuck and Don, thanks for the honesty, it is good to know I am not alone on these feelings. I will think about this thread and you guys next time one of these things come about, and hopefully just let it go.

I was thinking, you know I am giving these people a whole bunch of my energy in exchange for there rudeness, I'll keep it next time and use it to get laid or something. ;)

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by don on Nov 19^th, 2004, 7:28am

If you get in accident on the expressway in Boston then your dead meat one way or another.

If the accident dont get ya the people waiting in traffic will.

They'll aim for ya. Go Sox!

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 19^th, 2004, 8:04am

John, I used to be very explosive and violent. A guy flipped me off once, and at the next red light, I got out of my car, walked around to his car, and as he was looking up at me, I slammed my fist into his face as hard as I could. Then I got back in my car as the light was turning green, and drove off.

It sounds like something everyone dreams of doing to some jerk, but I can tell you that I'm not real proud of it, and of the few regrets I have in my life, this is one of them. For all I know, I may have really hurt him, because when the light turned green, he didn't move. :-/

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by E-Double on Nov 19^th, 2004, 8:12am

The end result is that you did show restraint.
Yes we all have our "personal evils"

For me I sort of get the opposite in that if I am too calm LOOK OUT! That is what too many in my past have encountered.... I'd come at ya without the big uproar....

The point being is that it could have been a lot worse and thank g-d for you and us that it did not.

Take it as another one of life's lessons and go with it.

Best to ya!!!

E.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 19^th, 2004, 8:42am

on 11/19/04 at 08:12:21, E-Double wrote:

For me I sort of get the opposite in that if I am too calm LOOK OUT! T

Ditto. If I'm visibly upset, it's usually something that will blow over quickly. If I get real calm and real quiet, that's when I've gotten to the point of being dangerous, because that's when I'm a ruthless machine. The last time I was at that point was in Desert Storm. I would prefer never to be in that state of mind again. It's scary to me. In those moments, I am fully capable of murder. Not a very flattering form of self-knowledge...

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by E-Double on Nov 19^th, 2004, 8:45am

I hear ya brother....

the biggest thing is learning from it. Being able to control certain behaviors and attempting to be proactive so that certain reactions are not evoked.

There's a little bit of "it" in us all.

Makes ya stronger for acknowledging it and dealing with it.

Later Tough guy ;)

E.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 19^th, 2004, 8:51am

exactly Jeep, the older I get, the more I find myself saying 'There, but for the grace of God, go I'. I am capable of the worst, but goddammit all I want to be is a warm-hearted, kind spiritually mature human being. Is that too much to ask? well, maybe at least for now I will just shoot for warm-hearted, lol. ;;D

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Jimmy_B on Nov 19^th, 2004, 8:54am

There's something about driving a car, that makes a person more violent & unforgiving then most people would normally be. I believe it has to do with the anonymity that goes along with it. It's hard to see the other driver. I've seen big dudes flipping off & threatening old ladies. It's unbelievable.

I need to carry a firearm for my job. I have a Glock 9mm & a Colt Python .357 Magnum that I use, depending upon my mood :P. I know restraint & would never pull it on someone unless my life or the life of someone I was entrusted to care for, was in danger. But, it cracks me up when someone begins following me or tail-gating me cause I'm only driving 10 miles over the speed limit. I think...how stupid, this guy doesn't realize he's pissing off an armed person :D.

Point is...you never know who you're getting ready to do battle with. Tis better to let something so stupid, go.

Hell John, in New Jersey...flipping someone off while driving...is our way of saying "Have a nice day" ;;D We call it the "State Bird".

Jimmy

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Nov 19^th, 2004, 8:58am

I shouldn't even get started with the things I have been through in traffic while working in Chicago the Chicago Suburbs.

I could make an entire 5 page thread out of it.

I just have to say that I agree that a lot of idiot drivers get lucky daily that hter people DON'T carry weapons.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 19^th, 2004, 9:02am

John, I think that recognizing and acknowledging the worst parts of ourselves IS a part of spiritual maturity and self-knowledge. If we can come to acceptance of even the worst aspects of ourselves, then we can have compassion and acceptance for those things that we see reflected back to us in other people.

-Frank

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by E-Double on Nov 19^th, 2004, 9:05am

on 11/19/04 at 09:02:16, Jeepgun wrote:

DAMN STRAIGHT!!!!!!
Nailed it

E.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 19^th, 2004, 9:06am

I bring this up based on you and Dons mention of Boston and New Jersey road behavior. An interesting sociology study that was done.

They got about a bunch of male volunteers, about 50% native from a southern state and about 50% native from a north-eastern state. They told them that they were going down a hall to fill out a questionare. But as they walked down the hall, a guy would ram them with his shoulder and continue without apologizing. The overwhelming result was the southern guys would get seriously offended, while the northern guys would not think all that much of it.

They concluded that the southern gentlemen mentality was still in play from way back. Things are actually a little different down south.

The Davis part of my family is southern from way back, mostly Georgia.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 19^th, 2004, 9:18am

on 11/19/04 at 09:02:16, Jeepgun wrote:

Right on. Dude, I like you more and more, thanks for coming around here.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by EmpressJMB on Nov 19^th, 2004, 9:22am

Your right Jeep. You can't correct what you don't acknowledge! J

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by don on Nov 19^th, 2004, 9:24am

You haven't lived until you've taken out the back window, windshield and both headlights of a brand new Yuppie driven Beamer with a Louisville.

Longing for the old days.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 19^th, 2004, 9:29am

Thanks, John. :)

If there's anything I can't stand, it's rudeness. If I run into someone, I apologize. If I deal with a waiter or waitress, I say "please" and "thank you." Manners are such a little, easy thing, but definitely make living in a society much more pleasant.

On the highway, my personal opinion of the reason people get road-rage, is that driving a vehicle at high rates of speed is one of the most risky things a person can do. Top that off with someone who is driving dangerously, yacking on their cellphone, reading the newspaper (I've seen people do this!) or weaving all over the place without using a turn signal, and you feel that your life is being endangered by their carelessness. Who wouldn't be angered by that?

Southern Gentleman,
-Frank

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Jimmy_B on Nov 19^th, 2004, 9:31am

on 11/19/04 at 09:06:47, john_d wrote:

I personally think it has more to do with population then North/South. When you live or travel in a heavily congested area...such as New York, Boston, Philadelphia, New Jersey, & yes...even southern heavily populated places, like Atlanta...you tend to deal with things like being bumped into or constant heavy traffic & people brush the little things off. Even though I travel through New Jersey...I live in the farmlands of Bucks County, Pa, & it's a different world & style, there. I'm sure you would find most of the same in other rural areas.

Another research study they did was place rats into a small box. As long as there was enough personel space for the rats, they were fine. But as soon as their personal space was impeded, they began fighting & killing each other. [smiley=huh.gif]

Just my [smiley=twocents.gif]

Jimmy

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by cootie on Nov 19^th, 2004, 11:02am

Do we grow LESS patient as we grow older 'by nature' ? I remember when I was alot younger I noticed how mad older folks would get about stuff.....some old dude jumped out of a car one nite at a fairgrounds parking lot and put his fists up to fight 3 young people. (me Brad and anouther freind)....it kind of shocked me and looked pathetic. They guy was driven thru lots of people walking to get into the fair and was impatient with the crowd so he about ran some of us over. I yelled OUCH and slapped the rear bumper of his car on purpose with my hand. Thought it's scare him enuff to slow down thinkin he'd hit someone ! I mean there were people everywhere and kids and families in groups. Man I bout shit when he jumped out with dukes up ready to take us all on....he kept standin there jumpin up and down sayin 'come on, come on' and did mention he'd had enuff ! The guy was probly in his 70's.....not that that is old but he looked OLD. His wife got out and stood there sayin be careful cuz he was a fighter and he means business.....huh.....how sad !!!!! Really made him look WACKO. So I never forgot that.....I try to THINK ahead how I will look if I go OFF on someone now. Seen alot of older people as a kid get pissed off and go off.....always wonder'd if it was an age thing or lower tolerance to the youth and there rudeness when they should show respect. Dunno....jus some thoughts cuz I think about it alot and what happen'd and.....what would that guy really done if one of the guys I was with pulled a punch. The poor guy could of gotten his ass kicked in the WRONG crowd and maybe robbed or hurt bein that way and put his wife in danger standing there by herself along the road as all this went on. We all just ingnored the guy and kept goin which seem'd to piss him off more....he was MAD as hell and probly one more thing that went wrong in his day.

A friend flipped off a group of punks one day along the road and of course all they seen was me cuz of how she did it and she yelled and screamed out the window callin em alot of bad shit names. So all they see is me as we cruise by......oh oh......so they jump in there vehicle and start to CHASE us ! Followed us all over for a while and had me nervous. Hoped I didn't run into any of em anywhere cuz they bascially only really seen ME cuz she yelled out towards my open window and stuck her finger out that way too. These were some bad boys too. Expirience can be a good teacher Pam

Modify'd cuz I got so worked up I misspelled more then usual......rage still lives in me I guess ech ?

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 19^th, 2004, 11:23am

lol, teenagers are too young to know how easy it is to get your ass kicked, and some ol' men just don't care anymore.

I had the same thing happen to me some kids, like 15, were chasing me after I flipped my brights, I flipped them to tell oncoming cars there was a police officer near by but they thought I was doing it at them. I was only 20 at the time, but I got out and approached there car because ??? They were all scared so I just felt bad and left, dumb kids.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by alleyoop on Nov 19^th, 2004, 1:22pm

on 11/19/04 at 06:59:41, john_d wrote:

People have been driving incredibly aggressively for the last week or so.

Maybe it's.....Naw! I was just thinking about all the liberals pissed off at the results of the election. ;;D

..........................alley ;;D

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Nov 19^th, 2004, 3:17pm

How to drive...

http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/driving.htm

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Jonny on Nov 19^th, 2004, 6:02pm

Alittle off topic......most times its a pain in the ass to look like I choosen to look, but the few times are worth it....LMAO ;;D

Two days ago I come out of the store and hear yelling (Your fucking with the wrong guy) and I look over to see a 65 year old dude that I have gotten to know over the years. Hes yelling at four dudes about 20 yrs old.

I back out of my space and pull up behind these four dudes, hit the auto window to go down.....my friend Bob looks and smiles. the four turn to see what he is smiling at and I ask "Is there a problem here boys?"....one says "only if you want one".....Now im laughing ;;D

I put one hand on the steering wheel and the other arm out the window.....eight eyes are now staring at my sleeves.....LOL. I says "If your gonna fight my father Im afraid your gonna have to fight me to" ;;D

Me and Bob laughed for 30 mins after they ran......Im still ROTFF over that one.

It also works in traffic, people see sleeves and they forget to give you the finger.....LOL ;;D

......................................jonny

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Kevin_M on Nov 19^th, 2004, 6:17pm

on 11/19/04 at 18:02:04, Jonny wrote:

I put one hand on the steering wheel and the other arm out the window.....

people see sleeves and they forget to give you the finger.....

I got two freckles, maybe I could connect them or something. Aaah, won't work with a duck taped plastic garbage bag flappin' in the window anyway. :(

Kevin M

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by john_d on Nov 19^th, 2004, 6:28pm

kev, just look em in the eye, grin like you own the world, and wink. By the time you start opening the door they will be long gone. Either that or you will have some new 'friends'. lol ;;D

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by thebbz on Nov 19^th, 2004, 9:23pm

Did you even get to flip him off back? [smiley=laugh.gif]
BB
Some peoples kids huh.

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by cootie on Nov 20^th, 2004, 1:27am

YUP I agree with jonny.........I've walked into some pretty rough situations myself and most of the chicks or people around would beat yer ass just fer lookin at em but they were nicer then hell to me......actin bold and crazy facein the ememy can send out a message and you get left alone. Sort of an instinct that kicks in to the others 'you could be capable of doin worse to them'. Looks can kill with actions worse then that Pam

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 21^st, 2004, 4:21pm

Right on, Pam. Sometimes, in bars, people will be givin' looks, like they're spoiling for a fight. I just look over and meet their look and give 'em a nod. Most of the time, making eye contact is enough to let them know that you're not afraid, and that maybe they'd better look for someone else to start problems with.

A few years ago, in Fayetteville, NC, there was a group of Mohawk punks who decided to start a fight with a bunch of guys that they thought were Skinheads. It turns out that the "Skinheads," were Rangers from Fort Bragg. It turned out quite badly for the Mohawk punks. LMAO!! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Gator on Nov 21^st, 2004, 5:14pm

on 11/19/04 at 18:02:04, Jonny wrote:

Alittle off topic......most times its a pain in the ass to look like I choosen to look, but the few times are worth it....LMAO ;;D

It also works in traffic, people see sleeves and they forget to give you the finger.....LOL ;;D

......................................jonny

You're right about looks defusing a situation, Jonny.

When I was a policeman I very rarely had to raise my voice, let alone fight like some of my co-workers did. My wife said it was my eyes. People thought they were dealing with the devil himself.

Now I am much older with long hair and beard to match and a go to hell look that could freeze water. I've had the same experience in bars as you mentioned Frank. Somehow just a look is all it takes. Makes for some funny "almost" encounters as well.

Gator

Title: Re: personal evil
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 21^st, 2004, 6:43pm

LOL! I've got the "glare" too, Gator. I smile and laugh a lot, but when I'm pissed, there's no mistaking it. Ditto what you said about not having to raise your voice. As a sergeant in the Army, I never had to yell or scream or swear. When people think you just may be crazy enough to come thoroughly unhinged on them... ;)