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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Spaces Between
        
(Message started by: Jeepgun on Nov 16^th, 2004, 10:18am)

Title: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 16^th, 2004, 10:18am

Spaces Between

I drove one night to be alone and found myself in the
parking lot of the abandoned drive-in.
Leaning against the fender, chainsmoking, gazing at where
the screen used to be, the black box of memory
springing open as she drove up and stepped out.

"Hello," she said from the end of the world or
the wrong end of a telescope, lighting a
cigarette and tossing her hair against the
star-pierced sky
Too thin, too nervous, too afraid as
her gray eyes bored into my soul...
She had aged in some unidentifiable way
and looked weary, guarded, and lost;
so utterly lost in a way that makes
everyone feel helpless.

"It's been a long time," I said quietly,
my brow wrinkling and my eyes stinging with
tears.

"Yeah... Well, I've been gone. School, work..." and
her voice faded along with the fleeting half-smile that
crossed her face like a shadow, as she nervously tugged her
sleeve over the scars on her wrist.

We both knew she was lying, and
a silence descended between us;
seas of unspoken words spilling like wine on snow
Planets and stars ceased whirling overhead and
darkness clouded the edges of my vision.

"Well... I need to go," she said, attempting to
appear nonchalant, and before I could speak,
she had turned on her heel and as she walked,
her strides picked up speed, as if she were a
rocket escaping gravity, and in my mind's eye,
I saw ephemeral silver filaments between
us growing thinner, lighter, and fading to nothing....

I opened the car door and slumped to the seat,
watching her taillights with blurring vision, and
with my first sob, the universe lurched into relentless motion once again.

I sat for hours and wept in the dark until
desperately clawing at sleep and hugging it close,
I sank into delicious depths of chlorine-blue amnesia.

The next morning, I drove home with the winter sun in my
bloodshot eyes, older, so much older than I was,
just yesterday.

-Frank H. Weeden

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by vig on Nov 16^th, 2004, 10:26am

damn cool Frank

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Melissa on Nov 16^th, 2004, 10:33am

Quite moving. Is it drawn on past experience? I can feel the agony hurting inside, that sinking, heavy lump of the heart... Been there myself.

:( sad really...

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 16^th, 2004, 10:46am

Yes, the poem is autobiographical. :'(

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by john_d on Nov 16^th, 2004, 10:54am

That was amazing, simply amazing. I kid not when I say you should try getting published. Incredible Frank.

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by PerryGR on Nov 16^th, 2004, 11:06am

Very intense, powerful images (hope this comes across the way i mean it). Great work Frank, thanks for sharing.

PFDAN to all,
Perry.

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 16^th, 2004, 11:24am

Thank you, everyone... so very much...

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Ronny on Nov 16^th, 2004, 12:25pm

Wonderful,
Brilliant,

[smiley=bow.gif]

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by nani on Nov 16^th, 2004, 12:29pm

:( [smiley=hug.gif]

:) Frank your writing touches me.

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Charlie on Nov 16^th, 2004, 12:44pm

You make me wish I hadn't spent so much time loving myself.

Nice Frank.

Charlie

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 16^th, 2004, 12:56pm

Thank you again. :)

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Ree on Nov 16^th, 2004, 2:18pm

I loved your poem and story... It reminded me of this... Never look back Frank... Let me tell you a story...
My brother served in Viet Nam. While in Viet Nam his then fiance Paola... was married off by her family in Italy. Yes though this practice is against the law in the US they took her to Italy and told her if she didnt marry the guy they wouldnt allow her to return to the US... She married him and sent my brother a dear John letter.
Heartbroken and spent after spending a long haul in Viet Nam to come home and find all of the things he had given to her neatly packaged up. Guess who was home when brother "Bud" arrived home... Me and I got to relay the news... etc... Well to make a lonnnnnnnng story short... He never got over Paola... married someone else and had 20 years of what ifs... never happy with his wife they divorced.... All he talked about was Paola... So little sis... ME... decides to look her up... Well I did and they got together... She was never happy either but lived in a much higher income bracket than my middle income brother AND she would never tell her parents that she was seeing my brother again. Even as an adult they had that kind of a hold on her. Some people choose to be miserable. They dated for a while and parted... again... I should have left it alone. The fantasy was better than what became of their love story. It was a big disappointment to him... love ree

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 16^th, 2004, 2:26pm

Thanks, Ree. I'm sorry it didn't work out for your brother and Paola...

The woman in this poem was a girl that I had dated in high school. Just before the start of my senior year in high school, we broke up. I left mid-term for the Army and it was two years before I took leave to come home again. Meeting her again was... devastating. I had heard from my mom that she had attempted suicide and then had spent some time in a home for the mentally ill. Our romance in high school was sweet, the way a first true romance is. She was amazingly kind, openhearted, and just really... innocent. (as corny as that probably sounds) The change in her, in the two years since we last saw each other, was horrifying. I will always wonder what became of her.

There really is no looking back. I've been married for thirteen years now, to the love of my life, and finally succeeded in creating the kind of family I always longed for, when I was a kid.

Even if she and I were both single and met up again, it's like that old saying: "You can never step in the same stream twice."

Bittersweet.... like so many other facets of life...

Thanks again, my friend.

-Frank

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Filbert on Nov 16^th, 2004, 2:54pm

Very good Frank and very honest! The way you have with words is a talent. Reminiscent of Raymond Carver my favourite author. Have you read any of his stuff?

Filbert.

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 16^th, 2004, 2:59pm

Thank you, Filbert. I'm not familiar with Raymond Carver's work. Do you have a book recommendation?

Thanks again.

-Frank

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Ruth on Nov 16^th, 2004, 3:18pm

I can only say Bravo and add:

We Love
We Live
We Learn

Ruth

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 16^th, 2004, 3:34pm

Thanks, Ruth. That's really the truth, isn't it? In the end, what's left is whatever love, compassion, and wisdom we can glean. Learning to be human really hurts sometimes... :-/

-Frank

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by alleyoop on Nov 16^th, 2004, 5:16pm

on 11/16/04 at 10:54:52, john_d wrote:

That was amazing, simply amazing. I kid not when I say you should try getting published.

I hate to admit it but at times I've wondered if you were plagiarizing Frank. John's right.

.................alley

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by becky8 on Nov 16^th, 2004, 5:23pm

You really wrote that???? WOW !!! have you ever been published??? Can you write me something??? Amazing [smiley=JAW_DROP.gif]

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by john_d on Nov 16^th, 2004, 6:25pm

I read that for like the 20th time today and I was literally moved to tears, before I just got chills. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by LeLimey on Nov 16^th, 2004, 7:56pm

Frank you have a talent for drawing pictures with words.
Its a sin not to share that.
And I'm as sure as egges is eggs that other friends than those of us here have told you that too!!
When are you going to listen to us matey?!!

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by K-9 on Nov 16^th, 2004, 8:40pm

I really enjoyed that frank, and for me, it has to be good!!! Nice job!!! I'd read more like that if you got 'em.

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by kissmyglass on Nov 16^th, 2004, 8:46pm

Don;t quit your day job.... ;;D

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 17^th, 2004, 7:41am

Thank you again, everyone.

Good advice, Kissmyglass. LOL!

I've pursued publishing before, but the almighty dollar is king, and with poetry being such a narrow spectrum market, publishers want the writer to pick up some of the cost of printing, and then to go around and actually hock the book to different places. Most publishers, if they don't feel guaranteed at least 5,000 copies of something being sold, won't even bother with an author. Pretty crappy, huh?

Anyway, thank you all for your kind comments and encouragement.

:)

-Frank

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by cschick on Nov 17^th, 2004, 8:35am

FRANK, DAG NAB IT! I just put my make-up on and have now cried it all off! That was amazing. Wow, I don't have any more words.

Karen

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 17^th, 2004, 8:41am

Thank you, Karen. I have to say, I'm amazed at the effect this poem has had on people. I've had it in my files for a long time. I wrote it a few years ago... Sorry about the make up... :-/ ;) :)

-Frank

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Nov 17^th, 2004, 10:46am

Oh my goodness Frank, that poem was amazing. I could feel the hurt and pain. You are amazing with words.

~Kim

Title: Re: Spaces Between
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 17^th, 2004, 10:49am

Thank you, Kimmiedawn. [smiley=hug.gif]