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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> life
        
(Message started by: cschick on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:05pm)

Title: life
Post by cschick on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:05pm

Do you ever just want to say Fuck It All and just crawl into a hole and never get out. I am so tired. My head hurts so bad I want to cut it off. My husband left me home alone with a child full of energy and left to go watch football. I can't take this anymore. I had a week PF and now I am more miserable than before. I have to do something to get out of this. I am having a reaction to my meds and my dr. is out of town and the nurse offered me an appt. the 29th of November. stupid bitch. I am getting so dizzy and lightheaded I just fell and hit my head on the table. I can't keep going like this. I want to die. I don't like feeling like this anymore. I want to go now. I have so many people leaning on me and I can't take anymore. I can't hear worth a shit since July when my eardrum ruptured and my hearing aides are broke. I can't afford to get them fixed, they only had a year warranty and that is up. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I just got paid on Friday and my checking account is empty. Colin wants to play and I don't want to. I am not a very good mother right now and he doesn't deserve that. I had a week PF and now it is worse than ever. I was thinking I was coming to the end of my cycle but no. I have been having k7-k10's all day. I worked all day plus OT. I just keep pushing and pushing and I can't do it anymore. I just keep thinking why do I even bother, what good is this doing? none, that's what. I have to go now.

Title: Re: life
Post by thomas on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:08pm

on 11/08/04 at 21:05:08, cschick wrote:

I have to go now.

No, you don't have to go now, and you shouldn't go now. I know that I have been right where you are right now. It WILL get better........ You've just got to look for that light at the end of the tunnel and keep walking toward it.

Title: Re: life
Post by E-Double on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:09pm

on 11/08/04 at 21:05:08, cschick wrote:

I just keep thinking why do I even bother, what good is this doing?

Your little guy. that's why!!!

Hang in there love!!

Title: Re: life
Post by alleyoop on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:11pm

Hang tough! This too shall pass. We're here! We care!

...................alley :-/

Title: Re: life
Post by broomhilda on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:15pm

[smiley=hug.gif]Hang in there, we do care and are here for you........lean on others for a change and hug your little one, he loves you....

Title: Re: life
Post by purpleydog on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:16pm

Hang in there dear. I know just how you feel. It will get better. Keep going forward, it's the only way to go. [smiley=hug.gif]

PD

Title: Re: life
Post by nani on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:30pm

Karen- I tried to call you hun. I'll try again later. Give Colin his art stuff and have him get ready for bed. He can draw in bed and maybe fall asleep that way. Get your broccoli and cigarettes and settle in for the long haul. I know it's hard, sweetie... but you gotta hang on. For you and for Colin. Screw everybody else! Hang tough...you KNOW you are. Anyone who has cluster headaches is a badass tough mofo!!! [smiley=hug.gif] :-*

Title: Re: life
Post by Magick on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:31pm

Boy do I feel for you. Everyone is leaning on you but you just don't have it in you. I just think of my son and it keeps me going. :-[

Title: Re: life
Post by thebbz on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:37pm

Aw come on kick the shit out of that demon no good @#$%$&)&^... . Keep up the fight
BB

Title: Re: life
Post by ClusterChuck on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:42pm

Don't give up! We are tough ass ba$tards!

Bitch and cry and scream all you want. We are here for you. That is what is great about this place. We are the only ones the truely know what you are going through.

I sent you a PM with my phone number. Call me. I will call you right back, as I have unlimited long distance. Or send me your phone number, and I will call you.

Hang tough. We are all behind you and pulling for you!

Chuck (who has many times questioned "Why go on?")

Title: Re: life
Post by Opus on Nov 8^th, 2004, 9:57pm

CS,
Hang in there, I am where you are. We will make it. You are a great Mother, Sounds like your child needs a good Dad right now. Don't blame yourself.

Opus/Paul

Title: Re: life
Post by Tim_Z on Nov 9^th, 2004, 12:52am

Hang in there CS. When I'm at that point in my cycle where every headache is a 9 or 10 it's about to end. I know it doesn't seem like it but it will get better. Keep fighting.

Tim

Title: Re: life
Post by Gator on Nov 9^th, 2004, 3:50am

I feel your pain. We all do. As bad as things can get, they do get better. Keep on fighting. You have a young one there that needs his mother. Hang tough for Colin.

You have a great outlet here for your frustration, both in the message board and with the people on it. Reach out or let someone reach in. It does help to vent, especially to someone who understands.

I pray things get better for you very quickly.

Mike

Title: Re: life
Post by Jeepgun on Nov 9^th, 2004, 8:49am

[smiley=hug.gif] Keep fighting the good fight. Just when the cycle ramps up and gets really evil is the very point where you start to get some relief, so keep on hangin' in there. It won't be long, now. We've all been there... :'( Keep on winning!

Title: Re: life
Post by taraann on Nov 9^th, 2004, 9:39am

You CAN do it and You WILL do it, if not for yourself but for your little boy. My kids have always been my lifeline literally when I just wanted to call it quits. You just keep thinking that. And lean on everyone else. NO ONE IS MADE OF STONE! God knows I've learned that the hard way! You hang in there hun and we'll keep rootin for ya and sending you lotsa vibes!

Title: Re: life
Post by nani on Nov 9^th, 2004, 10:08am

Karen- I beleive that I saw a dust bunny fly out from behind the fridge when you knocked Chris' head into it. You better get on it girl - you're slippin' ... ;;D
Is that a fingerprint on the lightswitch?!

Title: Re: life
Post by lionsound on Nov 9^th, 2004, 10:09am

on 11/08/04 at 21:05:08, cschick wrote:

Do you ever just want to say Fuck It All and just crawl into a hole and never get out.

yes, I have. I've said and thought these exact same words.

You are doing a great job. You are a great mom and Colin loves you very much. I have kids too and I've learned that they like Mommy if my head hurts or not. You ARE the Mommy he deserves! You're his favorite! If you can't play you can still give hugs and snuggles and tell him you love him. That'll make you feel better too! :)
Be well and PF,
lionsound

Title: Re: life
Post by cschick on Nov 9^th, 2004, 10:06pm

Just wanted to say thanks to all. I just typed and typed last night to get it all out. I really didn't realize how bad that all sounded. I am ok. I was just feeling a lot of pressure but am better today. I came up to St Louis today to be with my sister - she had gastric bypass today. She is doing ok. Quite groggy. I am going to spend the night at the hospital tomorrow night and won't be around the rest of this week. I am staying up here until Sunday then going on home. I will probably head out early Sunday so I can go home and make sure my house doesn't look like a tornado went through! ;;D You know what I am talking about Nani and by the way I got the dust bunny and my light switches are SPARKLING clean. I forgot my O2 - good thing I will be at the hospital - unlimited supply of oxygen! [smiley=laugh.gif] Hope you are all PF and have a wonderful week.

Title: Re: life
Post by thomas on Nov 9^th, 2004, 10:18pm

Say hi to Jim and Sue while you're there. ;;D

Title: Re: life
Post by unsolved1 on Nov 9^th, 2004, 10:50pm

on 11/08/04 at 21:05:08, cschick wrote:

I have been having k7-k10's all day. I worked all day plus OT.

[smiley=huh.gif] UNSOLVED [smiley=huh.gif]