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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> If you get an urge
        
(Message started by: stevegeebe on Nov 6^th, 2004, 2:34pm)

Title: If you get an urge
Post by stevegeebe on Nov 6^th, 2004, 2:34pm

and you see that one of your friends is facing some tough times...do not hesitate to reach out.

I'm not saying that what you may do yourself can change the decisions another may make. But if you see something and you can get the help of others, please do not hesitate.

An old friend of mine was found this week in the woods not far from my house. He had been missing since September 8th. He hung himself with his belt from a tree.

Sad.

To you Jim Doyle.

Steve G

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by john_d on Nov 6^th, 2004, 2:36pm

I feel for you Steve, my best friend in high school shot himself a few years back. It really put me in a weird place and makes me do alot of soul searching. vibes to you steve.

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by Ree on Nov 6^th, 2004, 2:57pm

so sorry~~ there is nothing you can do when someone has suicidal thoughts and there isnt any sign. We too have been touched by suicide... I will think of you in prayer... love ree

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by Redd715 on Nov 6^th, 2004, 3:13pm

In my thoughts.....

been there as well

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by sandie99 on Nov 6^th, 2004, 3:14pm

Steve, that was incredibly sad... :'(

But as someone who has had suicital thoughts in the past, I can tell you that people who have them are not only good at hiding those feelings but also scared to talk about them. You can't really start a conversation with that, now can you?

But you are right, we should keep an eye on our closeones. I have three friends who have fought againts depression and one of them had the urge at one point.

Best wishes,
sandie99

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by kimh on Nov 6^th, 2004, 3:57pm

Shit.

I really want to answer this post. But i doubt it is going to go over awl that well.........I sincerely wish that my words could sound somehow nicer, but i know they prolly won't.

Suicide is a choice one person makes and it can and does fuck up everyone around them - it haunts and poses questions we are simply not equipped to answer definitively. In that regard it is a disgusting display of self-centered selfish cruelty of such a caliber that it wipes the slate clean between grief and anger.

I do not say these words in ignorance or insensitivity ..i say them from experience............We all have pain in this world and it is our responsibility to resolve the pain. We are given so many tools in order to accomplish self-autonomy. It is up to us how to implement those tools. If we fail and cannot go on then it should be our failure alone. Unfortunately, when a loved one ends their own life we are left with the SHIT. WE are the ones who wonder what WE did that did not work.

I know from experience that when someone you love is bent on their own plan, that you are really only a temporary cheerleader who will contort yourself into positions unimaginable in your efforts to abort the process. In the end you are left alone with the dead knowledge and empty love that motivated you all along.

Here is the ugly truth: Life is hard and some will make it and some will not.

I send well wishes for both the living and the deceased in this thread. Peace to them ALL***

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by stevegeebe on Nov 6^th, 2004, 4:30pm

I understand.

My daughter found my x-wife loaded up with sleeping pills. Sarah had the job of calling 911. Sarah's life was and has never been the same. I don't want to tell you what she went through. She barely made it herself.

Life is hard.

I just believe that, maybe, an adjustment of a minor rock in the river at the source may alter the course of a river. You just never know what time to step in or if you're just getting your feet wet.

Shoes can dry.

Steve G

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by Not4Hire on Nov 6^th, 2004, 7:30pm

steveG
johnD
Ree
Redd
sandie
kimmie

...please, let's talk...off site...I have some issues with this topic, and I think it's time I deal with them. It's been fucking me up for too long and I need a bit 'o perspective...

TIA.....Notfer(shit/hair/nuttin'/etc.)

(and it's not MY suicide that's fuckin with me.....)

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by john_d on Nov 7^th, 2004, 7:59am

not sure what you mean, but I am pretty sure I could not say anything to help. vibes to you though

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by E-Double on Nov 7^th, 2004, 8:07am

When one loses someone dear to them it is devestating....
When one loses someone because that person took their own life it goes beyond words....
Rollercoaster of emotions....Dispair, Anger, Guilt, Confusion.....
Why?
Could things have been that bad?
Why didn't "I" know?
Why didn't he/she come to us?
How selfish of "that" person........

It's a bizarre situation.

I personally just got to the point where I hope that "my someone is in a "better place" or is "happy" now....

Wishing everyone a "happy" tomorrow!

E.

Title: Re: If you get an urge
Post by john_d on Nov 7^th, 2004, 8:32am

depressing reality post warning

The fucked up thing is, I saw my friends dad a few weeks before and he asked me to visit my friend. I told this guy that Mike was an alcoholic and nobody was going to be able to help him until he got into some kind of program. I told him I was worried he was going to die if he continued on the path he was on. I never got a chance to visit him, and I always wondered if it would have made a difference. I honestly don't think it would have, I had tried to help him a dozen times before and he was just too deep into his world of shit.

It was actually a part of a whole event sequence. One day I was driving to work, and I saw a man under the underpass who had shot himself, the police were there but had not covered him yet. It was a very bad sight. After that, I started experiencing all these suicides in my life. My friend was the second of four suicides that touched my life, an aunt on my mothers side (pill addiction), an uncle on my fathers side (daytrading during the dot bomb) and most recently a cousin on my fathers side (a very bad divorce). And honestly, the only thing I could conclude from all this is that heaven and hell is not some afterlife experience, this life can be heaven or hell. A down-to-earth lesson I learned in that excessive alcoholism and drug abuse are a sure path to hell on earth, avoid them with all your power. Accept the humility that life brings, appreciate the people you have and shun excess. Ending on a high note, I can also attest that life can be a wonderful thing.