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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Once Again... My World Comes Crashing Down
        
(Message started by: Carl_D on Oct 20^th, 2004, 2:57pm)

Title: Once Again... My World Comes Crashing Down
Post by Carl_D on Oct 20^th, 2004, 2:57pm

I have been in ALOT of pain lately, and having problems with my legs again. The CH's are relentless, and it seems the Trex is losing its effect on them. I don't sleep for days which, my Doc agreed that the pain is possibly keeping me awake - but the only thing I can get for pain is Tramadol, which is nasty stuff that barely works. For the last two weeks, my head has hurt 24/7 with the feeling that the back of my head will blow off any minute now.
My old band asked me if I would join them to do a benefit concert for a woman who is battling cancer and can't pay her bills. I told them I would give it a try, but can't promise anything - since my health is so unpredictable. We had one rehearsal 2 weeks ago. I haven't heard from them since.
A friend who knows my situation offered a side job to me, but when I told him about the CH's, he nixed the idea stating that "He needs someone a little more reliable." >:(
My old counterpart from my acoustic duo "Twin Rivers" just moved back to Granite and was asking if I would be interested in reforming to play out and make some $$$ since he knows I am in a major financial rut. I told him about my acoustic getting destroyed by an idiot, and so far I haven't been able to replace it. Everything I have tried to do the last couple of months to dig myself out of this hole has only dug the hole deeper.
I've been trying to find a way to get back online at home, or at least get a phone, but realistically can't afford another bill. I can get online here at my brothers house when I am able to make it over, but my brother has been a jerk towards me lately, and basically sees me as an inconvenience to him. So, I try not to come over as often as I used to. So now, I spend most of my time alone in pain. I haven't told my sis in law this - but I have been MAJORLY depressed these last few weeks as things continue to get worse. It seems the harder I try, the easier I fail. I'm going through major writers block again too. I feel like I am becoming more and more insignificant with each passing day. And being in constant pain is wearing me down bigtime. Every month I struggle to make ends meet, and being on a fixed income is a challenge. at this time every month I run out of everything, including food. Last month I had a list of things I needed to get, but was broke before i could even look at the list. Nobody knows this, but the only reason I am growing a beard is I can't afford razors til next month. As bad as I want to go to DavCon in January, I know I won't be able to since I have no money to save up. Don't know about Dallas next year either. I don't know about anything anymore except I know I can't go on living like this much longer. I don't know what to do.
Sorry to whine and complain, but you're the only ones I can turn to right now. There is no one around me I can talk things out with. My brain is scrambled from lack of sleep and.... okay okay, I'll shut up already before I depress somebody else. I;m just really down right now.

Peace,
Carl D

Title: Re: Once Again... My World Comes Crashing Down
Post by Tiannia on Oct 20^th, 2004, 3:05pm

Carl there has to be some Section 8 housing or somethig that can help you. There should also be a food bank that you can get food through that you pay about 10 cents on the dollar for food and other items. It seems rediculous that you are not able to get help. If nothing else, you should be able to get food items. There are programs that are out there, you just need to find them.

I wish there was more that I could do... Sorry hun, but try and take it one day at a time.

-Tia

Title: Re: Once Again... My World Comes Crashing Down
Post by nani on Oct 20^th, 2004, 3:38pm

:'( Sorry Carl, I don't even know what to say. Reach out for whatever help you can get. Hugs and prayers... [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: Once Again... My World Comes Crashing Down
Post by ZAIRA on Oct 20^th, 2004, 4:09pm

I am so sad for you...... don't let me come to the USA for encourage you ;) ;;D.

Sometimes I’m wondering what harm we did to stand such pain life. >:(

Hugs from far away, Carl :-*

Title: Re: Once Again... My World Comes Crashing Down
Post by don on Oct 20^th, 2004, 4:16pm

There are plenty of federally funded programs still left out there.

Case Management Services comes to mind.

If you dont have cash to buy food or razors then traveling off to conventions should be way down at the bottom of the priority list.

This certainly not the only place you can turn to. Find a local social services agency, call and schedule an intake. You meet all the criteria to have a case manager assigned to you. Housing, Income, Health issues.

Title: Re: Once Again... My World Comes Crashing Down
Post by TomM on Oct 20^th, 2004, 4:54pm

on 10/20/04 at 16:16:40, don wrote:

There are plenty of federally funded programs still left out there.

Case Management Services comes to mind.

If you dont have cash to buy food or razors then traveling off to conventions shpould be way down at the bottom of the priority list.

This certainly not the only place you can turn to. Find a local social services agency, call and schedule an intake. You meet all the criteria to have a case manager assigned to you. Housing, Income, Health issues.

Sound advice, Don.

Carl--hang tough. Don't let the bastards win!
TomM