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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> I need prayers!  My heart is breaking!
        
(Message started by: Karla on Oct 20^th, 2004, 9:18am)

Title: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Karla on Oct 20^th, 2004, 9:18am

My 18 yr old son ran away from home on Sunday. He hadn't attended school in a month and was scheduled to register for night school so he could still get his diploma. But he never got the registration date from me so it looks like he wont be graduating this year. However he went out to have lunch with a friend who was leaving state and never came home. She said she dropped him off at a park with other friends. We have a rough idea who he is with but a first name only. No last name or address. A girl friend of his intercepted him the other night and tried to talk him into comming home to just talk and try to work things out. He wouldn't do it. I don't know what it is he is going through but know it is something big. He owes the cell phone company 1500 and the credit card company 500 and has an ordiance for possesion of pot for 100 to pay and has no job or money to his name. All he seems to want to do is hang out and smoke sigs and shoot pool. My husband says he refuses to pay the fine for possession and will let the cops arrest him and he can sit in jail. Then we will visit him and he will find out who his true friends are. The kid had so much potential a year ago. I just don't know what turned him around. Gang involvement may have something to do with it.
Anyway, I haven't been sleeping well and am having a hard time focusing at school without keep crying. This is effecting our whole family and I feel ready for a mental breakdown or drug relapse. However, I know I need to be strong, not take this personal, and stay close to God to get through this. However, I feel very week spiritually right now and I could sure use the prayers and vibes of the family to get me through this crisis. Seeing him ruin his life and the not knowing is killing me.
Thanks for your support,
Love,
karla

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Mastifflvr28 on Oct 20^th, 2004, 9:23am

Big huge vibes going up to you and Ted, Karla.
Stay strong!!
Good luck with everything,
Mast

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by E-Double on Oct 20^th, 2004, 9:25am

Hang in there!!!!!
I can not empathize for i do not have children but I personnally went through something similar as he appears to be going through many years ago.
I wish I never put my folks through that yet things have worked out and I have turned my life around substantially.
There is hope and truth. It will work out.

Best to you and your family and do whatcha gotta do.

Tons of love and support!!

Eric

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by kimh on Oct 20^th, 2004, 9:35am

Karla,

I just read your post. This is every parent's worst nightmare and i will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you STRENGTH and FAITH vibes. You are going to need a LOT of support and I hope you and your husband seek out some kind of support system!!!

I am not in your shoes and probably not in a position to offer advice, however, i believe that sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let your children fall flat on their face and choose whether to get up or take the consequences of their actions....

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Gator on Oct 20^th, 2004, 10:11am

You have my thoughts and prayers. I went through some of this with my oldest son. Despite many warnings, he had to learn the hard way that, "You are known by who you associate with." His associates got arrested for armed robbery and drug use. He just happened to be at their house playing video games at the time of the raid on the house. He got arrested and got a taste of the legal system. Many weeks and even more dollars later, we were finally able to prove he was out of town with us during the robbery and a series of court ordered and voluntary drug tests proved he did not smoke pot. He graduated high school and went into the Army. He's doing pretty good. He is still hard headed and has to learn things for himself, but he chooses his "friends" better.

Parent's like to blame themselves for their childrens' failures, even when we shouldn't. I'm sure you did everything in your power to bring him up right as did my wife and I. Some people, like my oldest son, can't be told anything. They have to live it themselves and learn the lesson the hard way. Sometimes what they call "Tough Love" is the only way to handle a situation.

Solomon in Proverbs 22:6 said, "Raise up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I know you have planted good seeds. Have faith and they may yet grow in your son.

I am praying for you and your son.

Mike

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Oct 20^th, 2004, 10:58am

Prayers are with you.....

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by vig on Oct 20^th, 2004, 11:00am

Let him know there IS a way out.
and let HIM find it.
(even if you lead the trail with crumbs.)

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Tiannia on Oct 20^th, 2004, 11:29am

Karla, I am sorry hun. Your children are your heart that walks and lives outside your body. You can show them the road and the paths that lead the right direction. Just hold him in your heart. You all will get though it, but he will have some hard lessons to learn on his own. It takes a while for kids to realize that you really do understand, and are there to help. He is lucky to have parents who want to be there for him.

Be strong,
-Tia

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Opus on Oct 20^th, 2004, 11:38am

Karla,
Praying for him and you. Be strong, when you have done all you can then he is in God's hands. That is usually the best place to be. Wipe you tears and give thanks that he is not alone.

Opus/Paul

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by echo on Oct 20^th, 2004, 12:42pm

Sorry to read of this situation Karla. Wish there was something other than raising prayer that would help you with this. Hopefully he will soon see that he is in desperate need of his parents love and support.

Sitting a few days in a cell may help to give him a wake up call.

Mark

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by nani on Oct 20^th, 2004, 12:52pm

Karla- I really sympathize with your pain. I have been through it and I know how incredibly painful it can be. There is some wisdom to letting the chips fall where they may, and it is probably the best thing you can do for him. I know how making that choice can hurt you, too. Hang in there. We're all sending prayers and vibes and [smiley=hug.gif] Remember to take care of yourself ... it doesn't always come naturally for Moms.

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by ArCane on Oct 20^th, 2004, 1:34pm

Prayers going out to you and yours, Karla. I don't have any real advice for you, seeings how Im close to your sons age. All I can say is have the faith that everything will work out in the end and stay strong!!

Love,
Allen

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by fubar on Oct 20^th, 2004, 2:11pm

I'm going through the same exact thing right now with my 14 yr old. No easy answers.

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Carl_D on Oct 20^th, 2004, 2:18pm

:-[ Sorry to hear this Karla. Sending vibes and prayers for you and your family.

Peace,
Carl D

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Charlie on Oct 20^th, 2004, 3:01pm

Very sorry to learn this Karla. I don't have kids but I was one and know what an utter idiot I was. If I weren't such a homebody, who knows what I would have done?

My hope is that you can track hime down before the police do. That's rarely something to look forward to.

All my hopes and wishes Karla.

Charlie

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by ZAIRA on Oct 20^th, 2004, 4:12pm

Quote:

I need prayers!

You are in my prayers to the Almighty God of Heaven, may he comfort you.

:'(

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by TomM on Oct 20^th, 2004, 4:50pm

Karla--I hope and pray your son comes home to you.
TomM

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by clarence on Oct 20^th, 2004, 4:56pm

Karla,
Praying for you and your son and your husband.

Casey

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Jonny on Oct 20^th, 2004, 5:10pm

Let him sit in jail...."Lay in the bed you make."

Worked for me!

Sorry, Karla, but the kid needs a slap upside the head and if he dont get it, it will just get worse.

Thinking of you, Babe

..................................jonny

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Oct 20^th, 2004, 5:14pm

I believe they always find their way back to the teachings of the family. It just takes some longer than others and sometimes they really do need to find out the hard way. Life lessons can be really tough.

Hoping for you that it all works out okay in the end. Hang in there Mom! I expect most of us who have raised kids have been in your shoes at some point.

Carol

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Big Dan on Oct 20^th, 2004, 5:41pm

Jonny and Mark nailed it...

... us kids are stupid, but he'll realise his mistake....

Prayers on the way for you and your boy.

-Big Dan

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Jayne on Oct 20^th, 2004, 5:50pm

It sounds as though he has made some mistakes and just can't see how he will fix them, so he's given up even trying.
Like Vig said, he needs to know that these problems he has can be fixed, it just won't be overnight.
I am praying for you Karla.
Love
Jayne

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Kevin_M on Oct 20^th, 2004, 9:51pm

on 10/20/04 at 09:18:05, Karla wrote:

[color=Purple]All he seems to want to do is hang out and smoke sigs and shoot pool.

Gang involvement may have something to do with it.

Unfortunately he is within a separate subculture removed from society as you know it. Yesterday, or anything done outside his present lifestyle doesn't matter to him. The only thing that does is what it takes to keep hanging where he is. It's his strongest interest and he'll neglect anything else to be where he identifies.
Bad credit is of no concern, credit has served it's purpose to him, responsibility is avoided. The $100.00 ordinance is a shrug and adds to the "edge" lifestyle.
He sounds young to be able to survive out there so he'll attempt changes, but as soon as there's money in his hand...
They are trying to turn people around now instead of incarceration. Some though, it takes the second time to get the message, but that will be the last. He'll be ok if he makes that turn without a felony.

Kevin M

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by lionsound on Oct 20^th, 2004, 9:58pm

I'll be thinking about you and your family.
May you all be safe and well.

And Karla,
Please take care of yourself too.

-lionsound

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Karla on Oct 20^th, 2004, 11:31pm

Thank you all for your kind words, prayer, and very meaningful support. It is so wonderful to have family like you. You have helped to give me a more positive outlook on this situation despite the possible outcome. I love you all, Karla

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Ree on Oct 21^st, 2004, 12:07am

Karla~~~ pray and know that I am praying with you... Some kids just have to travel down rougher paths before they get to where they are going. God bless your broken heart. Love to you many thoughts from a mom that is only wondering what is next in life... Ree

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by sandie99 on Oct 21^st, 2004, 2:54am

Karla,

lots of prayers are on their way! :)

If it helps, my cousin used to be like your son few years ago, but things worked out and she is a hard-working homeowner now. Things do work out and the prayers from CH.com lot works wonders, I know that!

I wish you & your family streight.

Wishing you the best,
sandie99

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by taraann on Oct 21^st, 2004, 6:26am

Huge vibes and prayers for you and your family Karla. Hang in there hon you are a strong person you WILL get through this. I know how hard the not knowing is, went through alot with my brother running away, drugs, etc. It's been a tough few years with him trying to be his mom, sister, friend, guardian, etc. I totally know where you are coming from. If you ever want to talk privately feel free to email me tara_ann_77@yahoo.com , I also have msn and yahoo messenger.

Luv and hugs and prayers and vibes,
Tara Ann

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by thomas on Oct 21^st, 2004, 10:55am

Hang in there Karla, thinking of you and Ted now. :(

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by eddie on Oct 21^st, 2004, 11:38am

i hope everything works out {peace of mind}
you are in my prayers
PFDAN

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by ClusterChuck on Oct 21^st, 2004, 4:55pm

Karla, unfortunately, I know exactly what you are going thru. My "darling" youngest daughter is doing the same to me right now. She was gone for three days, before she came back. My wife and I already had her arrested (about a year ago) and let her spend a day and two nights in jail. It helped for a while, but she is going back to her wayward ways, again. We, like you, are at our wit's end trying to figure out what to do now.

My only hope, and your's too, I bet, is that what ever they do, it does not totally mess up the rest of their lives. "Tough love" is a great concept, but sure is hard to do!

My prayers and hopes are with you!

Chuck

Title: Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
Post by Virginia on Oct 21^st, 2004, 8:23pm

Karla,

You've got my prayers. Don't give up on God, as he will not give up on you OR your son!

But I do understand when you need others to do the praying for you, so you've got it! ;)

Stay strong.

Love,
Virginia