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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Redneck Church
        
(Message started by: alleyoop on Oct 13^th, 2004, 6:23pm)

Title: Redneck Church
Post by alleyoop on Oct 13^th, 2004, 6:23pm

Redneck Church
>
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...the
> >finance committee refuses to provide funds for the
> >purchase of a chandelier because none of the members
> >knows how to play one.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...people
> >ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether
> >the two
> >fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to
> >catch 'em.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...when the
> >pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up
> >the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...opening
> >day of deer season is recognized as an official church
> >holiday.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...a member
> >of the church requests to be buried in his
> >4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a
> >hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...the
> >choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...in a
> >congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last
> >names in the church directory.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...Baptism
> >is referred to as "branding".
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...high
> >notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to
> >howling.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...people
> >think "rapture" is what you get when you lift
> >something too
> >heavy.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...the
> >baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...you know
> >what a #2 galvanized washtub is.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...the
> >choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the
> >logo from)
> >Billy Bob's Barbecue.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...the
> >collection plates are really hub caps from a '56
> >Chevy.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if..instead
> >of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...the
> >minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...the
> >communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if..."Thou
> >shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
> >
> >You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...the
> >final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back
> >now!! Ya Hear?"

............................alley [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Redneck Church
Post by Longhaired Redneck on Oct 13^th, 2004, 6:40pm

Dang,
I am deeply hurt, you came to my church and didn't even stop by the house for fried chicken and mashed taters. Or was that the first day of dove season? [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Redneck Church
Post by Donna_D. on Oct 13^th, 2004, 11:26pm

Thanks Oopsie!!

For those of you planning on attending the convention in Dallas next year, you might want to print that choice bit of information out for future reference ;) .

You busted me on the #2 galvanized washtub reference!!!

Dang it!

DD

Title: Re: Redneck Church
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Oct 14^th, 2004, 8:49am

on 10/13/04 at 18:40:08, Longhaired Redneck wrote:

Dang,
I am deeply hurt, you came to my church and didn't even stop by the house for fried chicken and mashed taters. Or was that the first day of dove season? [smiley=laugh.gif]

Throw in some grits and I'm there!!!!!