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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> 6 reasons not to mess with a child  not CH 
        
(Message started by: minnie on Oct 8^th, 2004, 10:11am)

Title: 6 reasons not to mess with a child not CH
Post by minnie on Oct 8^th, 2004, 10:11am

I wanted to jump start everyones weekend with a few laughs.This E-mail made me smile ....kids do say
the darndest things.PFDAN......Minnie

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it
was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale couldn't swallow a human; it
was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. What's this?
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what
God looks like."
Without hesitating, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They
will in a minute."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she
asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
She's dead. "
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said suppose; "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know blood would run into it, and I would turn red
in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my
feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.

Title: Re: 6 reasons not to mess with a child not CH
Post by BarbaraD on Oct 8^th, 2004, 10:28am

Thank you Art Linkletter Minnie... These are darling.

Hugs BD

Title: Re: 6 reasons not to mess with a child not CH
Post by broomhilda on Oct 8^th, 2004, 1:15pm

[smiley=laugh.gif]Love our kids, precious, thanks Minnie!!!!!

Title: Re: 6 reasons not to mess with a child not C
Post by Ronny on Oct 8^th, 2004, 2:53pm

Lovely,

I've found another one:

The pastor noticed little Alex staring at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.

It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

The seven year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."

"Good morning," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "What is this?" Alex asked.

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex's voice was trembling and barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?

Title: Re: 6 reasons not to mess with a child not C
Post by Jeepgun on Oct 8^th, 2004, 3:42pm

LMAO!! These are great... (They remind me of me, when I was a boy...) [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: 6 reasons not to mess with a child not CH
Post by LeLimey on Oct 8^th, 2004, 4:03pm

When my middle son was three we were out for lunch at a self service place one day. As we were putting the trays away there was a girl there clearing them and Barney went up, reached out and grabeed her bum as hard as he could with both hands. As you can imagine she shot round and gave my poor hubby a FILTHY glare. Realising he had a tray in HIS hands and so wasn't the culprit she looked down and saw Barney, laughed and said "Oh I bet you learned that from your dad didn't you?!" As I apologised David leaned down and asked Barney why he did it. With his eyes brimming he replied " 'Cos I couldn't reach her boobies"
Exit one husband faster than Michael Shumacher and guess where we have never been back to?!

Title: Re: 6 reasons not to mess with a child not CH
Post by Leesa on Oct 8^th, 2004, 10:32pm

LMAOROTF all of these sound like MY Kids!!! God help me when Mykee is older cuz I KNOW Im sunk! Leesa [smiley=ohjez.gif] [smiley=eek.gif]