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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
        
(Message started by: Jayne on Oct 1^st, 2004, 9:48pm)

Title: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Jayne on Oct 1^st, 2004, 9:48pm

Well again I have another story for you. (TRUE STORY)

This happened to me a few years ago.

One night I was getting ready to go out with a male aquaintance.
It had been a very long time since I had played the horizontal tango with anyone, and I was keeping my fingers crossed that tonight was the night. I needed it damn it.
I knew from previous meetings with him that he was quite the neat freak. I had sweated my non exsitant balls off cleaning that day.
With everything spick and span I did a quick look through my apartment for anything that shouldn't be seen.
I was just about to close my bedroom door, when my oxygen tank thankfully caught my eye. "Oh shit, that wouldn't have been good. Not very sexy now is it?" I said to myself as I hurriedly wheeled it into my walk in closet.

Drew didn't know anything about my headaches at all.

Well, he arrived and made a comment about how clean my place was. "Oh really" I said nonchalantly, "I think it needs a good sping clean"

Well, we had a great night out which eventually lead to a night cap back at my place.
The night cap led to the tango. We both decided he should stay the night.

It was about 2.30 am and I awoke to a CH coming on fast and furious. "No, no, no, no, not now." It was ramping up to a 10 rapidly. I had to do something, I couldn't just lay there and deny the pain.
I quietly crawled out of my bed trying not to waken Drew. I stumbled around in the darkness, naked, feeling for the door handle to my walk in closet.
I opened the door and stumbled over clothes and shoes that I had thrown in there in my cleaning frenzy.
I found my tank, turned it on, turned off the light and started to huff my 02. My head was raging.

A few minutes later I hear Drew shout "Jayne.....where are you?"
" Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. " What should I do? Should I ignore him and he might come looking for me in here and find this naked woman he's just shagged lying on top of a pile of houshold debris sucking the life out of an oxygen tank?
What to say, what to say, what to say? (All the while my head is still on fire)

Well it just came out of my mouth.

"I'm re-arranging me shoes!"

"errrr.......ok then" was his reply.

Needless to say I never saw Drew again. He probably thought I was way too much of a neat freak for him. :-/

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Jeepgun on Oct 1^st, 2004, 9:54pm

ROFLMAO!! Hilarious!!

Poor Jayne... [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by alleyoop on Oct 1^st, 2004, 10:00pm

LMAO!!! Jayne, I just tried to put myself in poor Drew's place. I can just imagine waking up to the sound of your heavy breathing coming from the closet. "What're you doing?"........................(pause)...................."Rearanging my shoes."

One can only imagine what he thought you were really doing in there! No wonder you never heard from him again!

.........................alley [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by john_d on Oct 1^st, 2004, 10:01pm

middle-of-the-night buck-naked closet cleaner? as for myself, I would be curious enough to call again ;;D

too funny ;;D

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by E-Double on Oct 1^st, 2004, 10:06pm

Too funny!!! [smiley=laugh.gif]

I think I would have asked for a lady to polish my shoes when she was done rearranging then to polish my knob ;)

oops!! did I say that ;;D

E.

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by OneEyeBlind on Oct 1^st, 2004, 10:19pm

Ahhhhhhhhh, Jayne ......... how did ya know I needed that ????? LMAO at your thread and all of the responses. Now tomorrow and I can start all over again with a smile.

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Sean_C on Oct 1^st, 2004, 10:34pm

;;D ;;D ;;D

Sean...........................

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by broomhilda on Oct 1^st, 2004, 10:36pm

LMFAO great comeback [smiley=laugh.gif] Sorry Jayne, good night gone bad.......

Thanks for the smiles today!!!

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by vig on Oct 1^st, 2004, 10:39pm

rearranging your shoes?
you crack me up Jayne... [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Ree on Oct 1^st, 2004, 10:55pm

God am I ever boring..................... LMAO Jaynie.......... love ree

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Luke63 on Oct 2^nd, 2004, 8:56am

Shoulda done him in the closet too Jayne...then in the "bathtub" [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Luke

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by bobkip on Oct 3^rd, 2004, 12:20am

Jayne dear, you can lie naked in my closet anytime. Judy just might object tho.
Kip

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Ronny on Oct 3^rd, 2004, 9:36am

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

You did it again!
Thank You.

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Jonny on Oct 3^rd, 2004, 9:46am

Jayne, you ignorant sl ut ;;D

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Pegase on Oct 3^rd, 2004, 9:53am

too funny... :)

Pegase

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Longhaired Redneck on Oct 3^rd, 2004, 6:45pm

Wonderful,

need ot remember that, but it just don't sound the same if i am rearranging boots! (all 2 pair)
;;D

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by don on Oct 3^rd, 2004, 7:27pm

Gonna disguise myself as an oxygen tank and go hide in your closet.

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by TomM on Oct 4^th, 2004, 9:11am

I thought for sure this story was going down another path...since you were on your knees and all... ;;D
TomM

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Rock_Lobster on Oct 4^th, 2004, 9:28am

on 10/01/04 at 21:48:39, Jayne wrote:

Needless to say I never saw Drew again. He probably thought I was way too much of a neat freak for him. :-/

Either that or you are a janky lay. ;;D

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Jayne on Oct 4^th, 2004, 9:52am

on 10/04/04 at 09:28:19, Rock_Lobster wrote:

Either that or you are a janky lay. ;;D

Do you know that never crossed my mind??????

*scratching my head and pondering* :'(

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Rock_Lobster on Oct 4^th, 2004, 12:08pm

on 10/04/04 at 09:52:12, Jayne wrote:

*scratching my head and pondering* :'(

I would not worry much about it. As far as most of us Y-chromies are concerned, there is no such thing as bad pootang.

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by BobG on Oct 4^th, 2004, 12:30pm

Here ya go Jayne. You can take this one into the closet with you.

http://joe-ks.com/archives_oct2004/PartnerPillow.jpg

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by john_d on Oct 4^th, 2004, 12:35pm

on 10/04/04 at 12:08:01, Rock_Lobster wrote:

I would not worry much about it. As far as most of us Y-chromies are concerned, there is no such thing as bad pootang.

mmmm, you really know how to talk to the ladies Rock ;;D

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by don on Oct 4^th, 2004, 12:37pm

Quote:

Either that or you are a janky lay

That can easily be determined. When are you free?

Just trying to help. 8)

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Rock_Lobster on Oct 4^th, 2004, 12:48pm

on 10/04/04 at 12:35:02, john_d wrote:

mmmm, you really know how to talk to the ladies Rock ;;D

Just throwing it in the strike zone for my brothers! Don wisely took advantage of it. Would you have replied correctly, you would have been hit on by now:

john_d: You certainly are a lout, Herr Lobster!

random_ch_female: I agree, john_d! It is obvious that you are a caring and sincere fellow. You sleeping with anyone tonight?

;;D ;;D

/taking the bullet

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by john_d on Oct 4^th, 2004, 1:10pm

I think that would have went down more like this....

john_d: You certainly are a lout, Herr Lobster!

random_ch_female: lout? Herr Lobster? see ya later geek-boy

lol, just kidding, I really have no idea what I am talking about.

I had to look up 'janky' btw, it was in the slang dictionary. Where did you dig that word up? ;;D

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by TomM on Oct 4^th, 2004, 1:29pm

on 10/04/04 at 13:10:30, john_d wrote:

I had to look up 'janky' btw, it was in the slang dictionary. Where did you dig that word up? ;;D

Are ya gonna share or make us do the search? I'm feeling lazy today...

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by john_d on Oct 4^th, 2004, 1:58pm

on 10/04/04 at 13:29:21, TomM wrote:

Are ya gonna share or make us do the search? I'm feeling lazy today...

the word is slang for inferior quality :)

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by don on Oct 4^th, 2004, 2:12pm

It's a British thing.

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Jayne on Oct 4^th, 2004, 3:55pm

on 10/04/04 at 12:30:45, BobG wrote:

Here ya go Jayne. You can take this one into the closet with you.

http://joe-ks.com/archives_oct2004/PartnerPillow.jpg

Bob you disgust me.....I am not going to take an Asian girl to the closet with me....I am not Lebaniese.

P.s, I saw that "man for the single girl" on the news the other night, I laughed my arse off....they retail for $80.

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by chris on Oct 28^th, 2004, 1:53am

which one was the most satisfying that evening!! HA!

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by Ruth on Oct 31^st, 2004, 10:40am

Jayne,
I just read your thread today and that was too funny. First time I have actually laughed in weeks.
Ruth

Title: Re: Hide and go suck. (sort of rated R)
Post by mynm156 on Oct 31^st, 2004, 11:28am

[smiley=laugh.gif]