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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> God's havin' a good laugh at me.
        
(Message started by: Jayne on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:45pm)
Title: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Jayne on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:45pm
My bloody life ;;D

So, the day before yesterday I was feeling quite lonley. ( This happens to me every now and again)
I might appear to have a lot of confidence, but can be quite shy when I take a liking to a fella. So unless they ask me out, nothing's going to happen.
So I said a little prayer to the man above and asked him to send a man that would ask me out.

Well he came today!!!!

I was working at my friends shop for him and was sitting there reading the clusterboard, when in walks this man. He started talking  and talking and talking to me  (he was driving me nuts with his jabbering) and eventually asked me out to dinner.

Please let me describe him.....

I'll start with his age....approx 62

Then I'll describe him head to toe.

His hair was permed and sprayed and BIG!!!
he had blood hound eyes.
He was wearing a MASSIVE gold chain that hung to his belly that had a huge green stone in the centre of the pendant.  There were grey hairs popping out all over the top of his t shirt. He had a sprarkly HUGE diamond ring and bracelet on.  I couldn't see his belt buckle because his belly was hanging over his belt and covered his crotch area.  He had shorts on. He was wearing socks that were pulled up to his knees, and a pair of Jesus sandals.
I politley said, "I awfully flattered, but my boyfriend would not understand it"
He proceeds to say  "everyone's got a boyfriend" [smiley=laugh.gif]
He eventually left and I looked up to the heavens and said....."Oh cheers, it's nice to know your listening"
I bet you the man above was slapping his thigh over that one.
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by BobG on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:49pm
LMAO  [smiley=laugh.gif]

I think there's a pimp joke in there somewhere but I ain't going to say it.
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Jonny on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:50pm
Christ....we should have hooked up at the convention.....I have limited grey hairs.......LOL

........................................jonny
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by john_d on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:51pm
LOL, you are an awesome story teller.  Too bad you don't live in florida, i'd love to spend some time with a interesting fellow clusterhead.  ;)
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Donna_D. on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:57pm
Be careful what you ask for.....



http://www.shopranch.com/merchants/86/images/fatman.jpg













You JUST MIGHT GET IT!!




Love ya Sis!



DD
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by don on Sep 28th, 2004, 10:03pm
You passed up a date with Al Sharpton?
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by john_d on Sep 28th, 2004, 10:03pm

on 09/28/04 at 21:50:19, Jonny wrote:
Christ....we should have hooked up at the convention.....I have limited grey hairs.......LOL

........................................jonny


back off Jonny  [smiley=bigguns.gif]
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Cathi04 on Sep 28th, 2004, 10:28pm
OMG..Jayne.....You MUST be  careful what you wish for....but, lovey....you MIGHT get to know em better by looking up for awhile...........
Just my opinion..I could be wrong................

(nono,... my eyes are UP HERE!! Eyes! On my face!! EYESS!!!)

..frankly, I cant see one good reason why men arent flocking to your door...umm, err.. have ya heard about Victoria's Secret???? :-* ;;D :-* ;;D

Cathi...trying to get traction, before Jayne gets running....
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Peppermint on Sep 28th, 2004, 10:40pm

on 09/28/04 at 21:45:39, Jayne wrote:
My bloody life ;;D

So, the day before yesterday I was feeling quite lonley. ( This happens to me every now and again)
I might appear to have a lot of confidence, but can be quite shy when I take a liking to a fella. So unless they ask me out, nothing's going to happen.
So I said a little prayer to the man above and asked him to send a man that would ask me out.

Well he came today!!!!

I was working at my friends shop for him and was sitting there reading the clusterboard, when in walks this man. He started talking  and talking and talking to me  (he was driving me nuts with his jabbering) and eventually asked me out to dinner.

Please let me describe him.....

I'll start with his age....approx 62

Then I'll describe him head to toe.

His hair was permed and sprayed and BIG!!!
he had blood hound eyes.
He was wearing a MASSIVE gold chain that hung to his belly that had a huge green stone in the centre of the pendant.  There were grey hairs popping out all over the top of his t shirt. He had a sprarkly HUGE diamond ring and bracelet on.  I couldn't see his belt buckle because his belly was hanging over his belt and covered his crotch area.  He had shorts on. He was wearing socks that were pulled up to his knees, and a pair of Jesus sandals.
I politley said, "I awfully flattered, but my boyfriend would not understand it"
He proceeds to say  "everyone's got a boyfriend" [smiley=laugh.gif]
He eventually left and I looked up to the heavens and said....."Oh cheers, it's nice to know your listening"
I bet you the man above was slapping his thigh over that one.


Damn I thought you were describing Elvis at first... they say he's still alive!!

Bloody shame for the waggers......but welcome to mY world...except its usually "yo, yo baby... wassshhhuuuup??!!"  [smiley=bigcry.gif] [smiley=bigcry.gif] [smiley=bigcry.gif]  [smiley=laugh.gif]
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Kevin_M on Sep 28th, 2004, 11:46pm

on 09/28/04 at 21:45:39, Jayne wrote:
but can be quite shy when I take a liking to a fella.


Soooooo.....your point being.......you got shy again because you really took a liking to this fella???

you giddy thing,     ;)


Kevin M
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by OneEyeBlind on Sep 28th, 2004, 11:55pm
OMG, I am LMAO Jayne !!!!!!!!  You are right, just be careful what ya pray for.  I was praying that the sewer hole in my backyard would be covered ...... was tired of looking at it and tired of fighting with the borough to clean it up and plant grass ....... and along came a FLOOD (live in PA and yea the hurricanes made it this far).  Told my neighbors, I would quit praying !!!!!!!!  

I'm still laughing !!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Lizzie2 on Sep 28th, 2004, 11:58pm

on 09/28/04 at 21:57:42, Donna_D. wrote:
]

http://www.shopranch.com/merchants/86/images/fatman.jpg




That looks like the "Get in my BELLY!" guy from Austin Powers 2.    [smiley=laugh.gif]

Jayne...come visit me and we'll pick up some hottie doctors at the hospital where I go to school and work!!  I have no confidence either, but with a friend around...maybe we can both work together to find some nice cute ones!! ;)

Luv ya,
Lizzie :)
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Charlie on Sep 29th, 2004, 12:45am
Tsk tsk Jayne:

That's what you get for being so.......well-constructed  :o  8)

Charlie
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 29th, 2004, 8:26am
I can't believe you passed up that big hunka hunka burnin' love... ROFL!

Poor Jayne... [smiley=hug.gif]
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Leesa on Sep 29th, 2004, 1:35pm
LMMFAOROTFPIMP ;;D
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by ozzy on Sep 29th, 2004, 2:08pm
You chicks and your impossible standards....

So you had to pass on a healthy, outgoing, seasoned guy with money?    ;;D ;;D ;;D

No wonder..


Ozzy.
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Linda_Howell on Sep 29th, 2004, 4:15pm


I swear Jayne...with the stories you've told and the stories some of us have heard Elaine tell, you two should get together and write a book.  You'd both be rich and you could then subsidize the research for a cure for cluster headaches and everyone would then bow down at your feet.   You would also then attract a more ...uh..um...desirable dating list.    [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]


Linda


             
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 29th, 2004, 4:23pm
Yeah, Jayne! Seriously: You could do something similar to Erma Brombeck. It sounds like a silly idea, but believe me, the masses LOVE that kind of stuff, and you are amazingly talented and funny. (At least consider the idea?)

-Frank
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Linda_Howell on Sep 29th, 2004, 4:59pm


Sure Frank.   Steal MY idea.

   In the credits dept.  I want it known that it was MY

    idea   Jayne.    [smiley=deal2.gif]


Linda
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 29th, 2004, 5:03pm
What Linda said! It was all her idea! I'm just sending up encouragement and agreement!  :) :-*
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Sep 29th, 2004, 7:36pm
Jayne - your posts never fail to bring a smile to my face or an outright fit of the giggles.  From Lucy ;;D to the men (not) in your life you have entertained me with your humour!

Although the book idea previously presented is an excellent one, frankly, I think you could make an absolute killing out of stand up comedy.  I can see you on the Jay Leno show now!!!

Thanks just for being you!

Carol
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Linda_Howell on Sep 29th, 2004, 7:44pm


Carol, You should have seen her in  Nashville.


The lady is a..a...uh...a gem.



Linda
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Jayne on Sep 29th, 2004, 7:57pm


 

                         *Blush*


thank you           *blush again*
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by BlueMeanie on Sep 29th, 2004, 8:38pm
Hi Jayne,

I just wanted to know why you have such a problem with a 62 year old gray haired beer bellied man with sandals. On top of that he seems to have money.

Hell, I'll be 62 one day and may just be looking for a fine young babe to spend my money on.  [smiley=laugh.gif]

You sure do tell some funny stories. LMAO
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Jayne on Sep 29th, 2004, 8:44pm
Ok Ok Ok Ok......

I would hate you all to think I am shallow....

I'll lay back and think of Clusterville.  :-/
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by Kevin_M on Sep 29th, 2004, 8:59pm

on 09/29/04 at 20:44:55, Jayne wrote:
I'll lay back and think of...


Are you sure he said his name was Clusterville?
too coincidental.


Kevin M
Title: Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
Post by john_d on Sep 29th, 2004, 9:16pm

on 09/29/04 at 20:59:45, Kevin_M wrote:
Are you sure he said his name was Clusterville?
too coincidental.


Kevin M


lol Kevin, too funny  ;;D


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