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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
        
(Message started by: Peppermint on Sep 24^th, 2004, 10:17pm)

Title: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Peppermint on Sep 24^th, 2004, 10:17pm

Hi people,

I have been away for what seems like a long time, but really its only been about a week, feels like a damn year with all that has passed.

First I want to say, happy birthday to all the people who's birthdays I've missed.. Becs, il ragazzo bello Luciano, and I know there are more, but I can't remember whom. ...congrats Luke on your new life, TY Jayne for making me laugh.. be careful those out there in FL, AGAIN, .... Suzy I love you, good luck in the coming weeks, I know we'll talk again before the weekend is up.. .

Second... all those people going through a difficult time, I am thinking of you, including you all in my prayers every night. Dave Emond, DoubleD, Barb, TimW, Jackie, Ree, and many more. Its funny how quickly you come to realize that you can be very alone in this world but you are never really alone. Stopped being religious a long time ago, yet, lately, I have to tell you that I know people are praying for me, those who've said so and those who haven't. I could not be as lucky as I have been these past two weeks, even though I still don't have a job - so many things that could be going wrong, have not...for me that is a miracle. I feel somewhat at peace... and its noticeable. Those who really know me find it shocking, b/c I can be a little on the difficult side ::)

Since I lost my job I've had the daunting task of trying to truly get my life in order. All this time I think of the really special people I've come to know in the past 3 years on this site, and the challenges you've had to meet aside from the regular aspects of life, job, home, children, etc. I've come to be reminded once again how much I have to be grateful for, and to know the many blessings I have in spite of what seems like a ugly cloud overhead that doesn't want to go away.

So a couple more things here tonight, and I don't know how they will come across, but I need to say it.
- thank you those certain people that have offered help to me, and have been giving quiet support.. I know you are there for me, and it means a great deal, more than you'll ever know.

- One of my clusterhead friends is in trouble. I don't know how to help him, but seems he's hooked on speed, and he claims it helps his headaches. He's asked me to send him OTC meds that he can't get out where he is, and now I find out that those can be made into speed (at least that's what I've been told) . At the risk of losing a longtime friendship, I refuse to help him in this way. I just don't know what to say to him (I've been avoiding contact) and if any of you has something to offer in this realm, I would really appreciate it because I have nothing right now, I am devoid of knowledge of how to help, what to say, what not to say. I'm just really afraid for him, and personally being overwhelmed with my own life I don't know how or if I can do anything to help him. He says he thinks its helped keep his clusters at bay, and for him that is a big deal b/c he is chronic.

Well, I was going to say more, but I think this is good enough for now, and I hope not to much of a pain in the ass to read.

All my love to you out there, and PF wishes to you. I may be reading up some this weekend, to catch up with more of the family happenings.

Later people,
Pepper

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by catlind on Sep 25^th, 2004, 9:43am

If he's making his own speed out of Sudafed then yes it is used in that. I have taken sudafed for years prior to knowing I had clusters as I always thought it was sinus problems. Perhaps the relief he's getting comes in part from that - there's no evidence to support that, but I know sudafed has helped to some small degree for me, but there are some SERIOUS down sides to using this medication long term.

Pep, would you help a friend jump in front of a truck? If a friend was drowning would you turn around and walk away and let them drown? Two sides of the same coin, and you have to decide how you want to help him. Someone who's involved in drugs is not going to welcome help, especially if they believe it's helping their head. The drugs could be as much escape as anything, and you have a difficult situation before you. You cannot compel someone to change their behaviour, you can only let them know you won't help them self destruct and that you are there to help them get out if they want it.

I'm not a professional, so what I've said is only a combination of common sense and hope. This person needs the help of someone who knows how to handle a situation like this, sadly I don't know if you'll be able to convince him to seek that help.

I hope all turns out well, and that things get better for you.

Cat

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by karma on Sep 25^th, 2004, 10:02am

All you can do is talk to your friend. Its up to the friend to decide to listen or not. If the friend is high when you want to talk then forget it. The only hope to get through is when they are clean.
Its called tough love and sometimes people need to hit the botom before they understand what they are doing to themselves and their loved ones.
Some make it, some don't

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by nani on Sep 25^th, 2004, 10:07am

Pep- That stuff is BAD NEWS. It will rob him of his sanity and his soul. My daughter was hooked on it for awhile. I am raising 2 of her 3 kids and had the third one while she was still struggling with it. It is very hard to be tough about this but you have to be if you care for him. My advice would be to let him know that you still care for him and that you are not judging his actions. However - you will not be a part of this in any way. Be careful - they tend to get very angry when you refuse to help them. Perhaps if he finds it helpful for his HAs he can talk to a doctor about using Ritalin fir them. I have another thread somewhere on this board about Ritalin. Good Luck. [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 25^th, 2004, 10:23am

I can only agree with what everyone else has said, Pep. Your friend needs help, possibly even professional help. That stuff is serious bad news.

Hope things begin to work out for you, Dear. Keep on hangin' in there. [smiley=hug.gif]

-Frank

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Jimi on Sep 25^th, 2004, 10:50am

OTC drugs that he can't get out there? Please....I would be interested to know what he is wanting. I bet you I could tell you exactly what he is doing. It sounds like Meth to me. My guess is that he has a meth lab.
As far as the other, you are doing everything right. Getting all the things in order that you never had time to do before due to working all the time. The job you want is there, you just gotta find it. :)

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Jayne on Sep 25^th, 2004, 11:33am

Pepppermint my love
You have enough on your bloody plate without worrying about someone who is destroying thier own life, while you are scrambling to keep yours together.
Tell him you cannot send him the things he requires as you do not want to be involved if he "hurts" himself. God forbid he die and they find packages with your name and address on them.
Peppermint you cannot save everyone. I know this is a friend of yours, but when someone has become hooked on a drug, you HAVE to let them hit rock bottom on their own. Getting too involved you could become an enabler.
Your going to have to become a little cold about this my dear. If it is indeed Meth as Jimi suggested, you might as well say a quiet goodbye to your friend I am sorry to say, that is one nasty disgusting drug.
You have a child to think about, you have yourself to think about.
Drug addicts will say ANYTHING to explain their drug use.
I would seriously start to seperate yourself from this person. Use your energies for you and your child Pepp.
A drug addict can only get help when they WANT to not when you tell them they should.
LET HIM GO.

I love ya girl.
Jayne

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Kevin_M on Sep 25^th, 2004, 12:07pm

I see that despite all you are going through, with the loss of job and worrying about your own future security, this friend is interested in what you can do for him to further his drug use.

"Sure Pepp, I understand all the tough times you are going through, wish I could help.....but what I need you to do for me is........"

So charming. ::)

Just say no, and hope he can change things on his own, but that's his responsibility. If he does change, hopefully an apology to you will come with much humility.

Kevin M

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Jonny on Sep 25^th, 2004, 2:33pm

BINGO........ Jimi

Take care of you and yours, Pep........to hell with anyone else!!!

....................................jonny

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Charlie on Sep 25^th, 2004, 6:40pm

Pepp:

The last three posts make the most sense to me. For now, nothing you do will make him happy and he'll lie about everything. :-/

Take care of your own kid.

MOC

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Peppermint on Sep 26^th, 2004, 10:01am

Thanks for your advice and comments.
Yea Cat, it was sudafed. Sudafed and Contact Jimi if that makes any difference. He said speed, he is addicted to speed.

I would never 'enable' a friend to hurt themselves or turn my back on them - I just wasn't sure how to respond without sounding harsh.

One thing though. Kevin, what you said really struck a cord, and then a couple other people mentioned it. Yea I told him about my current situation, but I guess he didn't absorb it, or it wasn't important enough.

Either way, you guys said what I knew in my heart to be true. I can't make him stop what he's doing but I'm not going to be a party to it. It all seemed like no "big deal" but once I wrote it down, well, you know....

Nothing like a little perspective. Thanks you guys.

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Jonny on Sep 26^th, 2004, 12:15pm

Good for you, Pep!!

............................jonny

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 26^th, 2004, 2:03pm

Good going, Pep. FYI: Sudafed and/or Contact is one of the ingredients that goes into a batch of crystal meth. Consequently, places like Walmart, Eckerd's, or Wallgreen's, will not sell it in the kind of quantities that people who are cooking meth need. Also, there is a combination of ingredients that seem unrelated to each other, but if a cashier at one of these places sees someone come up and purchase that combination of items, they are supposed to report it.

Good for you for making the smart decision for you and your daughter.

-Frank

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Superpain on Sep 27^th, 2004, 4:07pm

96% of people addicted to methamphetamine will never be able to successfully quit. I'm in the other 4%... I've been clean for 3 yrs.
But as fucked up as it may sound, he may have a point. I don't ever remember having a ch over the years I was tweeking.
But regardless, speaking from experience, the only thing worse than having ch is being a tweeker.
I would also discourage sending him pills. In most states these days, if he were busted and a link was found to you supplying pills, that would constitute conspiracy which normally carries about a 15 year prison sentence. And anyone involved in manufacturing IS going to get busted, it's just a matter of time.
Unfortunately, unless your friend comes to his senses and is able to join that 4%, which is almost impossible, you can pretty much write him off. He will either be dead or in jail within a few years.

I wish I could hellp you find something to say to him or tell you how to help, but there really is nothing to say and no way to help. For someone addicted to speed, quitting is probably the hardest thing that they will ever do. It has to be a personal decision taken very seriously, and huge life changes must occur. It is absolutely necessary to remove yourself from the environment, (like move to another state), give up all your friends (for good), and change almost all behaviors that have been tattood in your soul by the drug.

Most people can't do that.

Title: Re: Livin' the vida loca - Not (OT)
Post by Edna on Sep 27^th, 2004, 9:53pm

Pepp, you've been given wonderful advice here. Not much more to add to it. I totally agree, you need to put yourself and that wonderfully beautiful child of yours first.

You're in my thoughts as I know this cannot be easy.

Keep us posted girl, we care a lot.

love,
EDNA