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Title: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 23rd, 2004, 4:40pm If confession is good for the soul, I guess I'll start off. ;;D When I was in the Army, I arrived at my permanent duty station with two other privates who were complete dirtbags. I did my job, kept my mouth shut, and kept my stuff squared away. My supervisor, who was also a dirtbag, and on the overweight program, decided to kick out the two dirtbags that I had arrived with. Then he decided to make a "package deal" of it, and get me kicked out of the Army too. Meanwhile, he thought I was stupid and didn't know what he was doing, so he kept coming around and pretending to be my buddy, smiling in my face... One day, he came over to my barracks room because I lived across the street from the gym. He was all sweaty and nasty and proceeded to sit ON MY BUNK, asking me how I'm doing and how everything's going, smiling that shitty little smile. I remarked, "You look like you could use a drink of water!" He agreed, so I got a glass, went into the bathroom, ran the water in the sink, and then dipped the glass in the toilet. I wiped the glass down with a towel, turned off the sink, and carried the water back to him. He drank it down like it was the best thing he'd ever tasted. After he left, I laughed until I thought my ribs would break. Two months later, I received a much-coveted and envied transfer to the local aviation unit, and a month after that, my former supervisor was kicked out for being a fat piece of shit. Karma's a bitch. __________________________________ After three years of clinic politics and power struggles between civilian nurses and doctors and military medical personnel, I was fed up. On my last night there, I was on night shift. I went through the clinic and stole every last roll of toilet paper from every single restroom. I wiped out the supply closet, too. (I hope everyone was wearing long shirt tails the next morning!) I stuck a cigarette in the aorta of the model of a heart that one of the doctors had sitting on his desk. I taped centerfolds on the pulldown anatomy charts in the OB/GYN exam rooms. I took a rancid tuna sandwich, stuffed it into an open specimen cup, and placed it inside of the heating grille in the chief nurse's office. I bought a Milky Way out of the vending machine, melted it in the microwave and shaped it into a turd, then put it in a ZipLock baggie and filled out a phony lab slip on it, and then placed it in the staff food refrigerator. I put a cigarette in the mouth of the skeleton in the casting room. I photocopied my middle finger and made sure everyone got a copy in their distribution box. I think I did some other things, but those are all I can remember, right now. ;;D <----Driving the bus to Hell ____________________________________ Phew! I feel better! NEXT!! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Lizzie2 on Sep 23rd, 2004, 4:44pm Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm When I was 3, I stole a kid's wind up turtle because she used to throw it in my face to say, "Look what I have...and you can't have it!" Several years later, I found it in my My Little Pony bin with all the ponies I had collected. My mom said to me, "Hey! Where did you get that? I don't remember that one!" She had no idea...but I felt guilty so I buried it in the trash and it went out with the next round of garbage!! I was a real devil, eh? haha.... I'm sure there are others that I just can't remember right now! I gotta get a life...errr...at least more of a life of crime!! hehe ;) |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 23rd, 2004, 4:47pm One of the neighborhood kids stole my Mr. Potatohead. I was very traumatized... :( :'( |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Lizzie2 on Sep 23rd, 2004, 4:51pm So ya mean I did damage for life? Hrmmmm I haven't seen this kid since I was 5, but I think I could still find out who she was if I had to!! hehehe I don't want some kid claiming she now has cluster headaches cuz I stole her wind up bath turtle! Oh...well when *I* was a kid, I had this dollhouse that my grandfather made for me. Big elaborate thing!! My brother and cousin had an enjoyable time throwing basketballs and kicking soccer balls at it until the whole thing crumbled like a house in an earthquake!! For "revenge" I just told my cousin about that memory maybe 3 or 4 years ago! He still feels really bad about it!! hahaha I think I was 7 or 8 when they pulled that one! |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by StueyStu on Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:03pm My "Friend" was fucking around on me so one night I came home and he was sitting on the porch of the apartment building. I said hello and walked into the building with someone I picked up and we went upstairs and proceeded to do our little stuff. Anyway my friend Peter comes into the apartment and my bedroom door was closed and then he realized I had brought someone home and was getting busy. He thought the guy was just someone I didn't know (although we did get rather acquainted). Peter left the apartment devastated, but Columbus discovered the world was round in 1492 and what goes around baby comes around. I wish I could say I felt good about what I did but it was just to prove a point, don't play me like that. There are other stories but those can be posted someother time. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by E-Double on Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:24pm How nasty do you want???? E. [smiley=sgrin.gif] |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by StueyStu on Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:25pm Since I seemed to have stretched the imagination go right ahead and feel free to be nasty as you want! |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Lizzie2 on Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:30pm on 09/23/04 at 17:24:28, E-Double wrote:
Actually...when you put it that way?? I did pull a pretty mean one on an exboyfriend (boyfriend at the time!) once.... hahaha :-X |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Rock_Lobster on Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:41pm Heh heh. Neighborhood crone. Mid-30's cat lady. Called 911 at the drop of a hat. In the 18months I lived there, she: - called the police because we had a neighborhood fireworks (legal) display on the 4th - called the police because the adults brought a beer-cooler along on Halloween rounds - called the police because vistors had an RV parked in front of my house for a 3-day weekend - called the police because my neighbor was replacing his jeep engine in his driveway - called the police when i parked my car in the street instead of my garage The police seemed to loathe her as much as we all did. My last weekend there... Two quart container... half gas/half sugar. Into the fuel tank of her six-month-old SUV. Bitch. I win. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Lizzie2 on Sep 23rd, 2004, 5:52pm on 09/23/04 at 17:41:57, Rock_Lobster wrote:
Good one!!! When I lived in Ohio, our next door neighbor was a real witch, too! She called the cops on my dad because he threw a cigarette butt into our half of our 5 foot strip of lawn between our driveways. My dad actually had a contractor come out and mark the property boundaries...split down the middle! She thought it was all hers... I was riding my bike on the sidewalk one afternoon, and right when I was at the front of her house, I hit a crack in the sidewalk and fell off the bike. She came and yelled at me to get off her sidewalk. Called the cops again! Grrr..... Sure, I'm all bruised up and bloody but the bitch is only concerned with her sidewalk! Well if it was her sidewalk, then I should have sued her for the crack that made me fall off the bike in the first place!! When we moved, we were seriously going to cut her bushes in half because they were half on our property, but we never did! She used to yell at my brother for playing basketball in the driveway, and my mom would go out there to play with my brother and shoot her evil looks every time she complained. Of course her grandson had to be one of the bullies in my class...so I never heard the end of it! What drama... :) |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by E-Double on Sep 23rd, 2004, 6:02pm on 09/23/04 at 17:41:57, Rock_Lobster wrote:
Awesome!!!!!!!! Ok you asked for it.... What's grosser than gross?... Anyway, Prior to becoming a respectable(lol) teacher and behavior analyst (keep this one in mind) I was a deviant fraternity boy. There was an excellent Grain party thrown one winter and as always many of us got naked. Well one of the pledges did a naked roof dive into a 6 foot pile of snow, jumped up and thus the name "Raisin" was born. (small and shrivelled LOL) Some sorortiy chicks got a picture of poor little "Raisin" and decided to write a truly funny poem to go along with this picture and they posted it ALL over Campus. THE ENTIRE CAMPUS WAS COVERED WITH "RAISIN" It was great but.... ONLY WE HAZE OUR BOYS ;)... We decided to raid there house when everyone was gone and conducted a "SHIT-A-THON" Here comes the NASTY....EEEW In the sinks Under Matresses Behind the couch In Dresser Drawers In tupperware Baking in the oven Boiling on the stove Nuked DOOK On and On an Over an Over It was the house of SHIT. At least there was no bloodshed [smiley=laugh.gif] There are many stories of "revenge" some not so nice but never Fuck with me or my friends lmao. Back to respectability.... E ;) |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jonny on Sep 23rd, 2004, 6:47pm Can one get revenge when another tells you they are going to kill you? I was a bouncer at a biker bar in the 80's that was just up the street from my house, one night while enjoying a smoke and a nice summer breeze out front of the bar a drunk I dont know walks up.....I tell him he's to loaded to go in.....he says his friends are in the bar. Being the nice guy I am I tell him I will go get them, just then he swings at me (Wrong move) and misses....I nail him and he eats the pavement. I tell him to stay down but he wants to get up....So....I put the boot to him (If hes trying to get up he wants to hurt me, Wrong again) and he stays down bleeding......LOL Just then his friends walk out the door (My luck) and they freak, one pulls a knife and the other breaks a bottle....They pick up the friend and tell me they are going to kill me. My luck again is that they are between me and the door to 50 bikers ive known for years.......I start backing up as they are coming for me when I realize that my car is right behind me (Perk of the job, nice parking)......into the car I go.....LOL All this time im thinking "Your going to kill me MF'er, I dont think so".......Put it drive and hit the gas, screaming right for all three of them. LOL....The two friends jumped out of the way but boot boy came through the windshield (poor bastard....LMMFAO) and landed on the steering wheel....Shit!, now I have to stop.....I stop and push him back on to the hood and start driving. Ok, now how am I gonna get this fuck off my hood?.....Ooooppsss!, right turn.....LOL and there he goes.....ROTFF ;;D In the end I got pinched for attempted murder, the judge refused to believe my story of "The guy just jumped on the hood of my car" ;;D Moral of this story........Back up and drive away if you can ;) ....................................jonny..........Officially my longest post EVER! |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by nani on Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:06pm OK I've held this one in for 15 years...it'll be good to confess. I was a waitress in a family style chain restaurant. A large family is seated in my section, all were kind of dirty and dressed pretty badly I might add. The father of the family spent the first few minutes ordering me and everyone in his party around. He even snapped his fingers at me and whistled for me!! He started to place their drink order and spoke to me as if I were retarded. "That's Coke, not Sprite - got that." "Make sure you actually stir the chocolate syrup in the milk." Crap like that. He spent a great deal of effort to speak as though he were the freakin' King of England and I was just a lowly servant.( I should take a moment here to say that I was a GREAT waitress. I was friendly and treated everyone like they were guests in my home. I even liked the job! ) Then he yelled at his wife for something (humiliating her) and ordered himself a beer. Guess what I did. Yep - I did. I SPIT in his beer. He was such an ***hole, I really thought he deserved it. >:( I've come a long way from that state of mind though and would not do anything like that again. I'm even kind of ashamed of it. One good thing came out of it - when I used to do customer service training for food service workers and wait staff I would remind them that they never had to feel bad about what they do. They have the ultimate power - they can spit in a customer's food if they are being jerks. LESSON 1: Never be mean to your food service worker. ;) LESSON 2: Never be mean to your wife in front of a feminist |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jonny on Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:13pm That was you? You bitch, I knew I tasted something funny in my beer ;;D ..................................jonny |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by KingOfPain on Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:51pm I kicked the beast's a$$ with a shot of imitrex today. Again. REVENGE! F'n bast*rd beast. >:( |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by ShariRae on Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:53pm Welp... The day before I turned 16 (knowing I couldnt be arrested) I went down to City Hall in our town....my dad's new girlfriend was sitting right in front of the big plate glass window at her desk working away....oh how I hated her....I waved till I got her attention...smiled my sweet little smile..and proceed to totally beat the crap out of her new car with a sledgehammer! It was wayyyyyyyy to much fun....breaking windshields make the coolest noise!! Then once the hood gave way, I proceed to hammer away at the engine..by the time she figured out what was going on..was to late!! Damage done!! I took off before anyone even got to the scene....not a word was ever mentioned.. but for some unknown reason...I didnt have to go on visitation days anymore!! That was over 25 years ago & I still smile when I think about it!! |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by vig on Sep 23rd, 2004, 7:54pm revenge is the sweetest when it is dealt by another's hand.... |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by KingOfPain on Sep 23rd, 2004, 8:10pm Years ago while living in Capistrano Beach, Cali [that's So Cal] one of my roommates thought it would be cute to paint my toenails while I slept. Har, har. I waited, 3 weeks for the payback. [When you least expect it, EXPECT IT!] He had this knock out gal stay overnight with him. [smiley=smartass2.gif] After they both were passed out, in I crept, his hand I slid into a bowl of warm water I did. http://www.download2me.com/pictures/piss%20pants.jpg [No this is not him, I just am using this pic as a visual aid. ;;D ] Let's just say he [nor anyone else] ever pulled another prank on me. Never saw that gal again either, hmmmmmm....LOL! *F* with the bull, you get the horns! Revenge is a dish best served COLD! [smiley=bloos.gif] |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Donna_D. on Sep 23rd, 2004, 8:47pm Hmmmmm...I can tell this one, the statue of limitations has not run out on my OTHER acts of revenge ....*HEH HEH HEH* When I was 17 years old, my boyfriend at the time suddenly stopped returning my phone calls. This went on for a week or more. Then, out of the blue, he shows up at my job (I was an Assistant Manager at a Mexican Food drive thru restaurant). Sitting next to him in the car was what appeared to be his newest girlfriend and his neck was COVERED in Hickeys (and I didn't give them to him). Nearly bursting into tears, I managed to maintain my cool. I took his money and told him his order would be right up. I reached up into the Industrial Vent-a-Hood over our grill and scooped out generous portion of grease and proceeded to marinate his beef fajita meat with it in the microwave. Oh, that is AFTER I scooted the meat around on the floor a little bit with my tennis shoes. I made THIER Fajita dinner and served it out the window, Piping hot...and told them I hoped they enjoyed their meal. Smiling I sweetly asked if the girl in the car was his new girlfriend. He smirked and said "Yeah, ain't she a doll?" I burst into (fake) tears and yelled at him "BUT what about Little Jeffrey he is going to miss his Daddy and You KNOW I am due in four months!! Who do you think is going to support YOUR CHILDREN?!?!?!" And then I slammed the drive through window turning away so that they couldn't see me laughing my ass off.... I can still hear that girl screeching at him to this day...... I don't know what happened to Jeff...don't really care either LOL...but watching that girl dump those fajitas over his head in the parking lot was PRICELESS.... I don't like cheaters.... Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh DD Oh and just for clarification purposes there was NO little Jeffrey and I wasn't pregnant at 17. Just in case you wanted to know. :D |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jayne on Sep 23rd, 2004, 10:04pm When I lived in Miami I had been dating a fireman for about 18 months, we had talked about getting married blah blah blah. I was so very in love with him. He had a best friend who was engaged to be married to a girl named Heidi. The four of us used to do things together, movies, dinners. Well one day my boyfriends friend called me and told me of the affair that Heidi and my boyfriend were having. He broke up with Heidi and I was dumped by Derek for Heidi. I was devastated. One night I got mad. I called him bawling. Said I wanted to go home to England and wanted to call my mother but I didn't have any money to call long distance and could I have the code #'s for his long distance account so I could arrange things with my mum. Well the goober gave me the #'s. That night I drove to a pay phone in a very quiet area and called the speaking clock in Japan. ( I used to live there) I then let the phone hang down and I could hear the Japanese voice telling the time as I drove away. By what I heard he had a humongous bill and was still looking for me. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 7:24am There. See? Don't we all feel just a little bit better? (ROFLMMFAO!!! I AM IN TEARS!!!) OMFG, these are HILARIOUS!! So good.... LOL! GawdDAMN, there ain't NOTHING like revenge!! [smiley=laugh.gif] -Frankster |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jimmy_B on Sep 24th, 2004, 7:52am I don't have one for myself...since I'm such a warm & forgiving angel [smiley=laugh.gif] but... When I was about 10 years old....we had an older retired widower who lived across the street. He kept meticulous care of his lawn. Just about every week-end some older kids, with suped up, cherry muscle cars would drive on his lawn, tearing up the foliage & grass. The old dude would always replace the foliage & clean up the yard. One day, I see him putting bushes up all around his lawn. I'm thinking..yeah right, like this is gonna stop the kids. Well lo & behold that week-end, about 3 cars (I still remember them ...a Barracuda, Dodge Dart, & Chevy SS came up to tear across his yard & SMASH...the barracuda & SS hit the bush & were demolished. The old dude had hidden cement bollards in the bushes ;;D Two of the guys were arrested & lost their cherry cars. Jimmy |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by RevDeFord on Sep 24th, 2004, 7:58am The woman that lived across the street from me a number of years ago spread rumors around town that I was a homosexual because I had a guy renting one of my 4 bedrooms in my house to try and help with the expenses. So I bought a live turkey from a turkey farm and placed it in her fensed yard. It was a big no no in that area to have anything that was considered "livestock". So I made a little call, someone came out and investigated. Gave her a fine. She fought it and fought it, said it wasn't hers. Everyone said, "Yeah yeah, Louise, whatever. We know it is yours" so everyone made her out for a liar. I know I know. Very bad. I am not proud of it But it was a long time ago and a long way away from me being in the ministry. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 8:33am ROFL, Rev! Jimmy, good for that old guy! [smiley=laugh.gif] Don't mess with old people... They are smart and treacherous! LOL |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Sep 24th, 2004, 8:40am on 09/23/04 at 18:47:10, Jonny wrote:
I knew you had it in you. LOL |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Sep 24th, 2004, 9:03am Once upon a time................. Back in the 70s, I was in S/W Michigan visiting my cousins. We decided to do some hunting in the woods accross the street from their farm. These woods were owned by a man who lived in Illinois and he had made my cousin something of a 'caretaker' of the property. We had permission to use the property to our liking but he asked that my cousin keep other people off of the property. He didn't want lawsuits or any other nonsense like that. Well........... After a day of hunting, we were returning and ran into 3 brothers who lived down the street (about 2 miles in SW/Michigan country) who were hunting. My cousin told them that they were not allowed to hunt there and asked them to leave. They agreed and left. We took off in the opposite direction. A couple minutes later, we heard a shotgun go off and then heard the pellets cutting through the grass around us as we felt the sting of some of the pellets embedding themselves in our skin. We spent several hours that night removing these pellets. Now the revenge.......... The oldest of the brothers had a very nice brand new Camaro that he cherished. Washed and waxed daily and parked on the lawn out by the corner to show it off to the world. After my cousin and I got done with the pellet removal, we gathered up a coule of baseball bats and some spray paint. We started with the paint first and emptied at least 10 cans of various colors of spray paint on his car. We then proceded to cut the valve stems on his tires, and pour a 5 pound bag of sugar into his gas tank. Now the fun starts........ The first few hits with the bats were the best since we started on the windows. Ahhhh the noise it made. To bad the dumb shit didn't park in his driveway. He might have heard what was going on and stopped us. The hood didn't last to long with two pissed of people beating on it. The mirrors...... Gone. The doors.... Oh.. The poor doors. We completely trashed the car. Funny thing.... We saw these guys the next day and nothing was ever said about the car and no more revenge was taken. Wow was that fun. I have other revenge stories but doing time in jail doesn't sound like much fun right now. Pat |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 9:30am LMAO, Pat! When I was in high school, I worked part-time in a bait/tackle/sporting goods/gas station/convenience/liquor store. After being kicked to the curb by a girl I really really liked, I was heartbroken. Then I got angry. That night, I got one of the cricket cages and put at least a hundred of the little bastards inside. Then I walked to her house where her car was parked on the street. I opened the door and shook all of the crickets inside of her car. This girl had a serious phobia about insects or bugs of any kind! She rode the bus for a long time afterward. LOL I used to live in military housing, and this one a$$hole neighbor of mine would pull his drunk ass in at 2:00 a.m. with his bass thumping, and then he would weave to his door and begin having loud, angry shouting matches with his wife. One night, in early spring, all of the cats in the neighborhood went into heat and the competition among the males was fierce. One night, after he'd come home, had his shouting match, and awakened the whole neighborhood, I went out to his car. No one ever locked anything out there because it was military housing. Very safe, right? I opened his car door, placed two open cans of tuna on the front seat, and then waited until several cats had climbed into his car. Then I slammed the door shut. The noise was FEROCIOUS!! He ended up getting a new vehicle, and he was much more considerate after that. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by TomM on Sep 24th, 2004, 9:40am Frank--remind me not to piss you off or just run like hell from you! That's some funny shit. I've worked on many a engines in my time. My first engine re-build was when I was 5 years old helping dad. So by the time I was 14, I was more seasoned than most mechanics...a neighbor pissed me off because we would ride our bikes through the side of his yard to cut form one street to another. All I did was switch 4 of the 8 spark plug wires and piss in his fuel tank. Honest. That is all I did...and all it took to eff up his car! ;;D TomM |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by jimbo on Sep 24th, 2004, 10:55am One time I was hunting some land that only I had permission to hunt and I kept running into another guy in the same woods. I would ask him what he was doing there and got the usual reply that he also had permission to hunt there from the owner. I asked him what the owners name was and of course he didn't know it, so anyway a couple of week later when I was hunting, 2 of my portable tree stands came up missing. During that time I didn't see him at all because I was hunting on the weekends. Well, lo and behold I took off from work on a Wednesday to hunt and there by the woods sat his brand new Pick-up truck(locked of course). I knew that he couldn't see his truck from the woods so I pulled up next to it, and using one of the large syringes that I use at work, filled it with liquid skunk scent, poked the needle through the rubber surrounding the window and proceded to spray that shit all over the carpet and seats (cloth) of his new truck! To top it off, I also filled the needle with Doe in heat urine and sprayed that shit in there as well! Luckily for me it was about 85 degrees that day so I'm sure he probably had to junk that truck because ther is no way to ever get that smell out of that truck. ;;D Needless to say, for the rest of the year, I had the woods all to myself. Paybacks a Bitch aint it! Seeya, Jimbo |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by john_d on Sep 24th, 2004, 11:02am When I was 18 a kid sold me a plant, let's call it mary jane, but it turned out to be a some other weed that he got from a field. Someone told me how funny he thought it was. I wrapped my belt around my hand and beat him bloody. At the time I was 6'4, 195 lbs and my job was loading lumber. What was he thinking? The next year, I was beating someone else up after they started a fight with me. I was beating him until he reached his car, I did not see the 357 magnum he had gotten from under his seat and he shot me. I was hit in my left hip, milimeters away from the upper ball joint. From then on I remembers Ghandi's words, an eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind. At this point in my life, I would not hurt a fly. edit I know, a little too much reality in my story, what can I do? It's my life. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 11:08am ROFL, Tom! Okay: The incident leading up to me being fired from my job at the aforementioned bait/tackle/convenience store: There was this middle-aged woman who would come in everyday and buy a quart of milk. Each day, she would complain that the milk she bought the previous day was sour. This went on every single day for MONTHS. One day, I was in the walk-in freezer, stocking the shelves. I saw her come in. I turned out the lights in the walk-in, and with the flourescent lighting around the inside of the doors, it was pitch black in the freezer. She opened the dairy door, still complaining. Before she could grab her quart of milk, I reached out and grabbed her wrist. She was yelling and swearing. I yanked. I kept yanking until I had pulled her halfway into the walk-in. There was milk and yogurt and cottage cheese flying everywhere. Finally, I turned her loose. She went SCREAMING up to the front desk. I came in through the back door from the walk-in. The owner said, "Frank? Did you do this?" I replied, "Yes sir, I did." He turned to the lady and said, "Okay, ma'am. We'll handle this." She said, "Well I should HOPE SO!" and stomped out without buying any milk. After the owner and I quit laughing our asses off and finally wiped the tears out of our eyes, he said, "You know, Frank: I'm going to have to fire you." I said, "Yeah... I pretty much expected that." He said, "Come back next summer and apply again. The job is yours." The next summer, I worked for Safeway. I was up on the ladder, price-gun in hand, wearing my red vest, white shirt, and black bow-tie, putting price stickers on canned goods. Middle-aged woman with rollers in her hair, lime green polyester stretch-pants: "DO YOU WORK HERE?" I looked at her and replied, "NOPE!" She trundled her cart down the aisle looking confused. [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by StueyStu on Sep 24th, 2004, 11:10am Now Frank THAT was funny. :D |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 11:11am OMG.... These stories are GREAT!! [smiley=laugh.gif] til I :'( LMAO!! |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by TomM on Sep 24th, 2004, 12:21pm One more... My college roomate was a loser (IMHO) and we ended up hating each other. He had a high end component stereo system that his dad gave him. I got soo mad at this kid I took the cover off his amp and snipped a few resistors here, a few there, soldered a few over there, clipped a few capacitors...damn it the thing just did not sound right after that. ;) |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 12:23pm A simple paperclip dropped through the vent holes would have done the same thing, Tom. Hilarious... LOL! |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Rock_Lobster on Sep 24th, 2004, 12:24pm on 09/24/04 at 11:02:41, john_d wrote:
Yow... you took a 357 slug? I'm no doctor, but thats gotta hurt. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by john_d on Sep 24th, 2004, 12:27pm on 09/24/04 at 12:24:25, Rock_Lobster wrote:
Even though it 'grazed' me, the out hole was bigger than the in hole, it was more scary than anything. it hurt, but it was no CH. ;) |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 12:33pm What's really cool John, is that was post number 367. So close.... Freaky, huh? I've been shot at, but fortunately, never actually shot... I suspect it would feel as though you'd been kicked by a horse. All the neighbors in my hometown would get together and try to out-do one another at Christmastime, with their outdoor lighting. Big-assed stupid Santa on the roof with sleigh and reindeer, all the trees wound with lights, big stupid lollipops and stuff in their yards... In my area, all the houses' circuit breakers were mounted out the outside of the houses. Nobody ever padlocked them. My friend and I used to go around and throw the mains. Our coup d'grace was the night someone in a BIG-ASSED house was having a massive Christmas party when we threw the mains. LOL! [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Linda_Howell on Sep 24th, 2004, 12:39pm Remind me not to piss any of you guys off. You're evil. [smiley=sgrin.gif] Linda |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 12:44pm on 09/24/04 at 12:39:51, Linda_Howell wrote:
I'm blushing! [smiley=laugh.gif] Incorrigibly Yours, -Frankzilla |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by StueyStu on Sep 24th, 2004, 12:53pm When I was in the Navy there was a Senior Chief that nobody in Navigation could stand. He was a big coffee drinker and asked someone to bring him a large coffee black. Well needless to say several guys pissed in the coffee and the Senior Chief said the coffee was better than usual coffee and asked if the ship was being issued a new brand. I was out of control laughing. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 1:28pm ROFLMAO!! I worked one summer with a construction crew. At the time, I could only drink my coffee with milk and sugar in it. We were all taking a break in the shack and I had just gotten some coffee but had no way to stir it. One of the guys gets this shit-eating grin on his face and passes me his wrench. (He had been working on the septic system and leech lines all morning.) I kept a pokerface and calmly thanked him, took the wrench, and stirred my coffee with it, and then passed it back to him. Everyone had been watching... This was one of those unspoken "tests" to see how tough "the kid" was. I passed. They never noticed that I didn't drink one drop of that coffee! LOL! |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by AlienSpaceBabe on Sep 24th, 2004, 1:43pm My revenge? Success and happiness..... "Always forgive your enemies -- nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by stevegeebe on Sep 24th, 2004, 1:48pm I think this is more of a "Gottcha" than a revenge story. I was the on site Owners Representative monitoring the construction of the new Main Library and Headquarters for Jefferson Parish. One Thursday night, it rained about 10"and we had one of those 100 year rain floods that we get about every 4 years down here. The entire Metro area was flooded. I rode my bike to the job site through the flooded streets to see what the site was like. The site was flooded, except for the slab, and I noticed that the brand new air handlers, which were stagged in the parking area, were sitting in about 5' of water. I began taking notes and shooting photos of the site. By the following Monday the water had receeded and the construction and clean-up began. I'd noticed that the air handlers were no longer in the parking area but had been moved (over the weekend) to their designed locations in the building. On Tuesday, at the weekly Owners Meeting, the General Contractor appraised the attendees of the minor damages and started to head into the normal agenda. I then interrupted him and tossed the photos on to the conference table. You could almost hear his butt pucker. Had to call in the Parish Attorney and other big shots to force the Contractor to remove the damaged units. Gottcha you sneeky bastards! Steve G |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by FZfan on Sep 24th, 2004, 1:57pm I didn't pull this one, but it's the best revenge story I have personal knowledge of. Back in the 90's I was a crew supervisor for the phone company. One of my good friends, let's call him Scot, was a lineman on another crew. He always complained about one of the other linemen, let's call him Craig, who was a real a$$hole, which he was and everyone knew it. Craig was a real stickler about his linetruck. This is one of those big line trucks with the large bucket on it you might see occassionally during any typical utility construction project. He was really proud of "his" truck and took great care of it. Wouldn't ever let anyone else drive it. One day I was walking out in the garage where the trucks are housed and I ran into my buddy Scot, who was walking toward Craig's line truck carrying a brown grocery sack. I happened to know that both Scot and Craig had the day off that day, so I said, "Hey, I thought you were off today". Scot said, "I am. Don't tell anyone you saw me here today." Then he showed me what was in the sack. It was two large packages of catfish fillets. Scot was good friends with our mechanic, and the two of them proceeded to "install" the catfish fillets all over Craig's truck - in places only a mechanic would know about or be able to get to. Needless to say, the next several weeks were hilarious as Craig tried in vain to figure out where the increasingly worse smell in his truck was coming from. The funniest thing was watching him drive this truck to and from job sites with his head out the window. Unfortunately, he was still an a$$hole after that. For some people, once an a$$hole, always and a$$hole I guess. Love this thread. These stories are great! |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by alleyoop on Sep 24th, 2004, 2:34pm This one's not funny, but true. I was separated from my ex, when I stopped in an O'Charleys one afternoon for lunch. I ran into an old friend who was in town from D.C. where he now worked for a certain congressman. We talked and caught up over a few drinks. When he asked about my wife, I told him we were separated. He wanted to know what happened and I told him that I found out that she had cheated with someone that he and I mutually knew. He said that wasn't right and I said yeah, but whata ya do? He just looked at me, bought another round and changed the subject. I didn't think much about it till later. The guy that had cheated with my ex- just disappeared! I mean he vanished. OK, here's where it comes together. The guy from D.C. used to work for some of my family doing 'collections'. At the time of our conversation, I didn't think anything of this since he had been out of the 'business' for so long (at least I thought he had). I haven't seen my 'Washington connection' since that day. When I approached a member of my family about it and asked what had happened, I got the I don't know but don't ask questions reply. This was not a case of sweet revenge. It scared the hell out of me more than anything- and still does. It definitely taught me to watch what I say, to who. .............................alley :-X ps When my ex and I sat down with our attorneys to divide up the property, she told us all that I could have the house and anything else that I wanted. pss I think it was Fred Buechner that said (paraphrasing)- Revenge is like sitting down to a feast and enjoying every last morsel until there is nothing left but a carcass. The trouble is- usually that carcass is you. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by E-Double on Sep 24th, 2004, 2:50pm My fresman year of college there was this kid who was always starting shit with me.... I grew up brawling and figured college was not the place so I would just step aside... Second semester comes and I register for beginners Karate....I have a brown belt in Taekwondo and a Green in Shotokon...Needless to say I figured it would be an easy credit. I go to the first class and the TA was the same kid. The Instructor in the course breaks everyone up into partners....This kid says he'll take me... We square off and he mumbles, " I'm gonna Fuck you up"... without a second thought I did a spinning hammer punch followed by a reverse crescent kick. Dropped that bitch to his knees. 1) The instructor kicked me out.... Obviously you have expoerience and you're lucky if we don't throw you out of school. 2) The kid never said Boo to me again. 3) It was tasty Don't know if it's considered revenge but it sure as hell felt great Eric |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jonny on Sep 24th, 2004, 4:34pm on 09/24/04 at 08:40:44, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
Dude, I type with two fingers and have to look up at the screen every two words to see if im spelling shit right......LMAO ;;D That post took me 40 mins ...LOL ..............................jonny |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Margi on Sep 24th, 2004, 4:41pm on 09/24/04 at 16:34:02, Jonny wrote:
I can vouch for that, Jonny - I remember seeing you at the keyboard in Vancouver... it was just painful to watch! LOL you hunch over pretty good too - maybe it's time for reading glasses? ;) http://www.clusterheadaches.com/vancouver/vancouver05.htm oh hell, that didn't work - here's the damn link instead. http://www.clusterheadaches.com/vancouver/vancouver05.htm |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 4:48pm LMAO, E_Double! In boot camp, in my platoon, there was a rather large black guy who was always bullying and messing with a smaller black guy. The smaller guy was scrappy and tough as hell and he and the big dude had already been busted for fighting in the barracks while on guard duty. Finally, bayonet training came around and they put us in the quad in football helmets and gave us pugil sticks. The drill sergeant called the two guts to square off. The little dude busted the larger guy's helmet off and then proceeded to beat him senseless with the pugil stick. It took two drill sergeants to pull him off of the bleeding, unconscious bully. All of us cheered. LOL! After that, the bully was considerably more contrite and learned how to keep his mouth shut. [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jonny on Sep 24th, 2004, 5:06pm on 09/24/04 at 16:41:02, Margi wrote:
So if anyone has wondered why I get straight to my point in one or two sentences....thats why. Its not lack of glasses Margo, its lean back or hunch over while sitting....sitting up straight in a chair or truck kills my back, my truck has reclining bucket seats...I drive practically lying down....LMAO ;;D ............................jonny |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by lionsound on Sep 24th, 2004, 6:03pm This is all I've got..... Geeky, but true….. When I was in the band in college, we were at an away game at our rival school. During our practice on one of their athletic fields right next to their stadium we planted winter wheat seeds while standing in formation ….of our school letter. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Kirk on Sep 24th, 2004, 6:44pm Revenge nope. Big wave came by. Lost sight of him. Haven't seen him since. |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Ree on Sep 24th, 2004, 7:31pm I have a good one for you... When I was married to my X husband. He was constantly calling me a hypochondriac. I had Migraines... an ulcer (all stress related but of course HE had nothing to do with that right? wrong) ANYWAY he always got on my case because I was sick all the time and he didnt believe me. He never had any sympathy for me and HE was always bragging about how healthy HE was. So one day I looked up at the sky and I said " Lord, dont give him a terminal illness or anything, but please Lord give him something so that I can say " stop complaining". Next day comes and you will never guess what HE got hemroids and after delivering his two boys by C-section without his help, and the torture of being married to him for 13 years without any support whatsoever... I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF. this is a true story. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRAY FOR... LOL GOD LOVES ME!!!! REE |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jonny on Sep 24th, 2004, 8:03pm Hey Ree, ROCK-N-ROOOOOOLLL [smiley=headbanger.gif] |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Tim_Z on Sep 24th, 2004, 8:35pm This wasn't revenge, just a prank on a nerdy teacher. In high school two of my friends and I used to clean a grocery store once a week. The owner would lock us in and come back in a couple of hours. This was so we wouldn't steal anything. There were ways around that. One night one of noticed there was limberger cheese in the dairy case. We had heard about pranks done with this stuff. It was around Halloween, so after work we went to the certain teacher's house and did our deed. We smeared the stuff all over his exhaust manifolds and shoved it down the vents under the wind shield. To top it off we poured maple syrup all over his car and then covered it with leaves. What a hoot. I happened to ride in that car about six months later. The smell was awful, it was like the rottenest feet you ever smelled. On halloween we used to push cars in the middle of the street and block the road. We would then put a stick between the seat and the horn, lock the doors and run away. Pretty simple minds huh. Tim |
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Title: Re: Confess Your Revenge Stories Here Post by Jeepgun on Sep 24th, 2004, 10:47pm LOL! All of these are hilarious... [smiley=laugh.gif] Revenge, pranks, practical jokes... I love it! LOL! (Hey! Is anyone's head hurting just a tad less?) :) Love you, -Frank |
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