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(Message started by: athos on Sep 22nd, 2004, 4:16am)
Title: Running Low
Post by athos on Sep 22nd, 2004, 4:16am
No real reason I guess...  Well I guess there are.. Some of you know what my situation is, but it is no worse off than anyone else and better than others....  Just running low tonight....




Sorry..............

add...

Am I right, am I broken
does it make sense these days that I leave behind?

If I frown does it tell you to leave me alone?
If I smile at you does it tell you that I am here?
If I do nothing at all does it mean nothing?

The spirits are all about me.
not sure when they came
but they are a welcome distraction.

One decade now past for the angel growing across my heart
more thought for me than for herself

"Daddy" you will be able to play with me!
Tomorrow will be the day she says
If not then, the next day, you will see.

Fragility, if that is a word, is what I have become.
A series of... careful don’t play too hard
Sorry dear I can’t go out today, maybe tomorrow

Where is that man?
Lost to a world of decrepity and pain
Pain…. Is that a feeling or a state of mind?

Where is the man that once was?
Superman, the airplane rides, playing horsey for hours on end

Sorry to the ones that I love the most
Sorry to the ones that have the most to loose

Is this real? What I feel, is it real?
Sometimes I wonder if I could make it all go away.
Just a flick, just a twitch would it make a difference?

I miss the me that I was.
I miss the times that were had
I miss the monster hugs

Rain clouds that we played in
Mud holes just begging to me stomped in
We did not believe that there was a tomorrow

I woke up today and it was tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow………………….

Each time I wake up the same thing hits me
Tomorrow is here. Tomorrow is now.
Tap tap this is you brain letting you know this is not a dream

Don’t cry, this is the same as yesterday and the next.
What is gone is gone and can’t be replayed
What is lost is lost. And you are lost.

What do I count as real?
Pain? Pain is real? Is it tangible? Can I touch it?
What has Pain done to my life?
Made me who I am? Then I am… pain

People look at me as though I have let something precious go.
Or is that the past telling me who I was?

Am I broken? Is there a fix?
There is always a fix for the right price
No I am not broken. There is no fix just a realization
A realization of what was and who is here.

Suppression is just a way to hide
Hiding is almost a way of life.

Speaking of life whose am I living?
Mine or the nightmare of a tomorrow.

But I am still Superman.
Be that with a cane
or a wheelchair…
………..at least in two 10 year old hazel eyes.
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by Superpain on Sep 22nd, 2004, 4:41am
Everything is going to be OK.
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by vig on Sep 22nd, 2004, 8:58am
Fight one more round.

"Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come guard, fight one more round. when your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one in the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round - remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped."
-James Corbett
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:08am
[smiley=bigcry.gif]
[smiley=hug.gif]

Hang in there.
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by Redd715 on Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:14am
[smiley=hug.gif]

nuff said
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by E-Double on Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:27am

on 09/22/04 at 08:58:17, vig wrote:
Fight one more round.

"Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come guard, fight one more round. when your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one in the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round - remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped."
-James Corbett


Great quote!!! Think I will hang that in my office or keep it in my pocket!!

Hang in there man.
Despite the fact that I have only met a few people here...
It is obvious to me that you like everyone else here are a leader among the tribe with unheralded spirit and strength.

Be well man

E.
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by Gena on Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:28am
hugs going out to ya! Hang in there.
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by lionsound on Sep 22nd, 2004, 10:43am
athos,
your strength and courage to get you to here and now....
seems superheroic to me.

Vibes for you.

may you be well,
Rori
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by Linda_Howell on Sep 22nd, 2004, 11:00am


 Ken,

That 10-yr. old of yours doesn't really care about horsey rides, mudholes and airplane rides.

She only cares that after the pain is gone her Daddy has a smile and a hug for her.
 When she sits on your lap she feels safe and warm and it doesn't matter if your "lap" is in a wheelchair or on a motorcycle.
 When you tease and laugh together it only matters that she is feeling the love....nothing else.  

Trust me on this one.   ;)

Linda
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by psycofemale0403 on Sep 22nd, 2004, 11:08am
Keep your head up.  It can only get better right?

~ Lisa
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by Leesa on Sep 22nd, 2004, 2:44pm
Ken, Linda is sooooo very right hun. Lean on us for support hun. We are here for ya. Your family loves you no matter what. Just take care of YOU and get well.
PF wishes on the way, Leesa
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by Bec on Sep 22nd, 2004, 3:04pm
((((( Athos )))))))
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by Svenn on Sep 22nd, 2004, 3:06pm
Hang in there
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by Tiannia on Sep 22nd, 2004, 3:16pm
Ken -

That 10 yr old of your KNOWS you better then anyone else int he world. She sees beyond the pain, behond the cane, wheelchair, whatever. She sees you. And it does not matter how or what other define you as.... You are Dad. And that definaition goes beyond anything that you used to do... Can or cant do. That is being a hero to her.  

I understand. I hate the fact that carrying my son up the stairs at night can bring me to tears, because of my back.  That I have to stop half way up even when I am not carrying anyone more then a cup.  I hate the fact that I cant tuck my daughter into bed without getting down on my hands and knees cause I can t bend to kiss her good night.  That is not the way it is supposed to be.  But none the less, I know that they love me with an unlimited heart and that all they care about is the fact that I am there.  

Be strong my friend.   Not that I am asking you to be anything that you are not every day.

:'(
-Tia
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by athos on Sep 22nd, 2004, 9:37pm
Thank you for the support
Title: Re: Running Low
Post by Charlie on Sep 23rd, 2004, 2:59am
http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/VIBES & MORE.png

Charlie



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