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(Message started by: Johnnie_Elaine on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:17pm)

Title: Long sorry!
Post by Johnnie_Elaine on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:17pm
I want to thank the people that sent email and that called me. It meant a lot to me. I feel I oue ya an explanation !
I deleted my profile for several reasons. One I can’t stand to see all the hate and bitterness here. Not toward me but toward each other in general. I know there is a lot of good here and we don’t have to read the bad. There will be a good thread of support and right in the middle someone has some negative something to say and you lose what the thread was even about to start with. It just makes me sad. I have made some special friends here some that will be friends for life. I meet new wonderful people everyday. I don’t have to post to meet them. I don’t have to post to help them. It was the thread about OUCH that made me decide to delete my profile. I care about you all I just hate to see the ugliness I guess its here forever.

HSG was a gift to me. I protected it; I tried to protect everyone in chat. I did not want any fighting in there. I did not want it to become one group. Some people just left that did not like the talk. They didn’t want to cause a problem they just left. Why should anyone have to leave? I like to joke and cut up. I give a hell of a BJ with out my teeth, but you know there is a time and place to joke about that. Its not when someone new comes in chat. It’s not when someone new or old comes in and says they are hurting. It’s hard to come in chat see people talking not so nice things and having fun to announce you hurt they don’t want to bring the chat party down. So instead of going there. They sit in front of their computer and just cry wishing they had someone to talk to. I received this letter. Name not important and posted with permission. I am only putting part of the email.

Dear Elaine,
Last night I went to chat. I was asked how I was. I told them, “I had seen better days.” They went on joking with each other. I just kind of drifted off. I sat there and knew I was all alone. I cried and prayed I would make it though my next battle. Elaine how many people feel this way besides me when they enter chat? I know last night the thought of getting my gun was going through my mind. Knowing I was all alone made me want to get that gun more. Was this what you meant chat to be?

Have a good day

This letter made me think. Ya’ll did what I asked you went else were to talk nasty. I did think it was rude that one of you sat in chat that night and directed people to your new chat room. With some of the remarks left there for me that night pretty much told me HSG was no longer needed.

I have given HSG away so it’s not up to me now how chat will be if reopen. I am sure a lot of you will be glad. I hope for the sake of someone up at 2 am with thoughts of giving up will have a place to go and won’t feel alone when they go there.

OUCH I will work for OUCH just as long as OUCH will have me. I just do the best I can.
I believe in the cause and the people. I read the OUCH thread it sadden me. If you guys want to help instead of saying hey what can I do, then fuss cause no one answered. Look at things that need to be done, and then say hey I would like to help with the newsletter,

Part two below

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Johnnie_Elaine on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:18pm
or I would like to start a committee on so and so. That’s how I became the membership chair and fundraising chair. I found a need the org needed and I emailed and called some of the officers, told them what I could do and they talked about it and it happen. It did not happen over night. Then I produced what I said I would. That’s how most of us got on board. We meet once a month and we try to cover as much as can be covered. If ya’ll could just understand everything we do is for ya’ll! Sure we knock heads some times we are going to disagree, if we all agreed we wouldn’t need a BOD or officers.  Everyone thinks they can run OUCH different. They have the answer. It takes more than one person it takes difference of opinion to do it. Sometimes difference of opinion is good. It has turned a vote around after a discussion. Stop slapping the people who work hard for ya’ll. Give them thumbs up. When elections come if you don’t like what some of us do vote us out. Until then back us. Fighting us only stops what work we are trying to do. Slapping people around stops work it does not help. Its kind of hard to see if every time you raise your head someone slaps you.

All the people that went to bat for me Thank you and I am sorry your feeling might of got hurt while taking up for me. Simon Bob P,   Margi,  Kim, Jackie, Jean , Jimi, Ree and Jonnie and others ya’ll made me cry .  For the people that are mad at me. It’s ok I can understand why you would be. Why you see things as you do. Please don’t beat up my friends cause your mad at me. I hold no grudges against any of you.

I just felt like I needed to explain and for the ones that don’t know. I been real sick unable to get well. With the help of a couple of people here we have narrowed it down to the Lipitor I am taking, or was taking. I discontinued it yesterday. I been hurting real bad in my ribs and stomach I am just hoping my liver has not been damaged. I talked to the doctor this morning they don’t want to admit it is the lipitor. They say I will have a heart attack for sure if I stop. Destroy my liver and stay sick or have a heart attack..Hell of a choose, you die no matter what road you take there LOL! Doctors not my favorite people right now !

Sorry this is so long.
Ya’ll be good ! The ones that don’t like me rejoice I am gone.. The ones that do like me Thank you and remember I am just an email away and most all of you have my number.
You have my support and friendship.

Friends if people want to pick this post apart and beat me up let them. I am ok and what they say does not hurt me. Only my true friends can hurt me! I love you my friends! People who find fault with me I would have whole lot rather been your friend. I don’t enjoy fussing. It is such a waste of time.

DJ thumbs up to you. Wish I had your patience and know how. Thank you for a wonderful five years and for the friendship you have given me. God bless you always.



Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Margi on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:22pm

on 09/17/04 at 15:17:18, Johnnie_Elaine wrote:
I give a hell of a BJ with out my teeth


sorry, gal, but I think you probably lost a lot of your audience after that line!   LMAO

Seriously, though - this is awesome post - TS, perhaps your best ever - you stand strong.  You're doing this for the right reasons and you will always hold a place of honour here and at at OUCH.  

Illigitimus non carborundum (don't let the bastards grind ya down).

now PUT your teeth back in, woman!  ;)




Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:25pm
Thank you, Elaine. Nice to see you here and I hope you remain. OUCH needs you. We all need you. Again, I offer my sincere apology for the things I said yesterday that were out of line and inappropriate. I hope your health issues are resolved quickly and that you are returned to the best health possible, as quickly as possible.

My best to you.

-Frank

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Roxy on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:30pm
E....just concentrate on yourself for once, and get your butt well.

Great post, but I don't feel like you owe anyone an apology for anything.  You did what you felt was right for you.  You epitomize the spirit of OUCH.  Stay strong!!

Love ya,

T

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Jonny on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:34pm

on 09/17/04 at 15:22:50, Margi wrote:
sorry, gal, but I think you probably lost a lot of your audience after that line!   LMAO


Shut up Margi....that was the best line ;;D

Hell, when I lose my teeth im the same......Hey Joe!!, what you doing tonight?.....LMAO ;)

Jonnie?.......damn, I hate it when someone adds an "H" to my name, never mind "ie"......im gonna have to think about this one.

E-Baby, your my girl and I will kill anyone that fucks with you.....Nuff said!!

.......................................jonny

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Leesa on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:36pm
E, your one of the most giving souls I know, and I say THANK YOU for giving of yourself for so many. You are my friend and one that I am proud to say I have. I love you for being you and sticking to your guns!! Now as Margi said "put your teeth back in woman!" LOL
Just take care of YOU for a change and get well hun cuz we do love you!!!!
Love ya lots, Leesa  :-*

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by BobG on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:45pm
Thank you Lady E. Lots of love to you.

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by floridian on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:49pm
Elaine,

Check out policosanol for your ticker. Policosanol is a derrivative from the waxes/oils in sugar cane or some other plants. For many people, it is as good as the statins, without the side effects.  Several large studies show it is no more toxic than a placebo.  20 mg a day can lower LDL choleserol by 30%  - I don't know if that is enough for your needs, but it is something to consider.
http://www.policosanol.com/monograph.htm

Also, the statin drugs like lipitor can cause you to be deficient in Coenzyme Q10 - taking a CoQ10 supplement can reduce some of the side effects while letting the statin lower your cholesterol.  Not sure if CoQ10 will stop the potential liver damage - couldn't find anything on that.  But if you have muscle pain or weakness, consider taking a supplement to boost your CoQ10 levels back to normal.  

Best wishes to you - hope your healthier soon.

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by kissmyglass on Sep 17th, 2004, 3:52pm
Hi Elaine,

Don't apologise to anyone.  Rest, get well & come back soon. You are very loved here!!

I'll let the blowjob line slide.... :-X

:-* :-* :-*
Love ya,
Kev

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Jimi on Sep 17th, 2004, 4:03pm
  I'll not be able to see you ever again with your teeth out without thinking about that line. Anything you need.
   Jimi :-*

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Linda_Howell on Sep 17th, 2004, 4:08pm

 Great post Elaine,

I haven't been in chat except for a few times in the last 6 months and once when I did go in I was disgusted to read exactly what you are referring to, and I left.

That said, A couple of years ago I stayed on-line for hours in the middle of the night because someone was going through some really bad times and I was trying to talk him/her out of pulling that trigger.  Just as I was getting very  tired Jackie came in and took over for me.   This is what will be lost now that chat is gone just like the e-mail you recieved said.

I hope that someone will take over for you as I know you need a break and those that want to chat elsewhere can....and those that prefer hsg can go there.

Someone very dear to me said to me on the phone the other day..."I don't understand how people who are suffering the worst pain  known to man can intentionally hurt each other like this."   Differences of opinion are one thing....all the crap lately is something else.  

Linda

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Carl_D on Sep 17th, 2004, 4:15pm
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

I am speechless, and sad.
Stay strong Lady E.

Carl

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by PittsburghJoe on Sep 17th, 2004, 4:32pm
Elaine,

Beautiful post...

I know we haven't really interacted, and for that I feel a loss. But reading your contributions here has been a highlight of my journeys through CH.com.

Like so may have said, take some time to take care of YOU.  We can't have you around to help someone else if you don't help yourself.

Stay happy, healthy and wonderful.

Joe

P.S. to Jonny: What I'm doing tonight is hoping Ivan doesn't flood my basement. 4" of rain and counting...

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Jonny on Sep 17th, 2004, 4:43pm

on 09/17/04 at 16:32:46, PittsburghJoe wrote:
P.S. to Jonny: What I'm doing tonight is hoping Ivan doesn't flood my basement. 4" of rain and counting...


bummer bro, get all the important stuff out.

(Jonny, doing the no rain dance)

................................jonny

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Lizzie2 on Sep 17th, 2004, 4:53pm
Hey Elaine,

I'm glad you came back and spoke your feelings.  :)  However, I know the truth...you are just running off with Big Dan and the two of you are hiding out from ch.com!!!  Hehehehe

Seriously though..I really look up to you.  You have done such a great thing for cluster sufferers and their families by all the work you have done.  It really is amazing what a very dedicated and loving heart can do!

When I found chat, I didn't know about ch.com.  I had headaches that weren't making any sense.  They were a mix of migraine and cluster symptoms, and it wasn't for quite awhile that we figured out I was getting the clusters on top of the chronic migraine.  I remember staying up with people until 5am sometimes just talking with people.  We were there for each other.

And then I know I had my rough patches with ch.com in the beginning.  I just reread some of those old posts the other day and YIKES!!!  Well...I'm glad I stuck around and really got to know people and develop bonds with people because if I had left like I had planned, I never would have known how great this place would be.

I hate the fighting too, and I will admit that I did not like where chat had gone.  I don't really like to take sides on stuff, but I'm just not into the kind of stuff that was going on there.  I know I joked and kidded around some, and I'm definately sorry if I ever offended anyone or worse yet ignored someone when they were hurting.  I know there were many nights when I wasn't up for that stuff.  If it looked like a wild night, I just didn't go in.

I enjoy a joke and a laugh just as much as the next person, but as Roxy said in another post...there is a fine line.  I do think we all need to relax and have fun, but I just don't know about how far it had gone...

I'm sorry that HSG is no longer around, and I do hope that someone decides to open it up at some point in the future. :)  I think that place has been such a good place for support at times.  Thank you and Mast both for all the work you did there and the time you spent.

My best wishes that you are feeling better soon.  Those statin drugs (like lipitor) which Floridian wrote about can be devilish on the body!  I wanted to go look at some more drugs for cholesterol to see what else is out there, but I will do it later and email you if I see anything special. :)

Luv ya Elaine!
Carrie/Lizzie2 :)


Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Kevin_M on Sep 17th, 2004, 5:41pm

on 09/17/04 at 16:53:15, Lizzie2 wrote:
Hey Elaine,

I'm glad you came back and spoke your feelings.


Thanks too, Elaine.


Kevin M


Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Ronny on Sep 17th, 2004, 8:21pm
Hi Elaine,

I dont know you (i'm pretty new here) but from what i have read, you're one hell of a nice lady.

I hope you can solve your health problems real soon.

A big hug from an unkown Belgian guy.

    Ronny.

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Cerberus on Sep 17th, 2004, 8:39pm
E...

 Always acting in the interest and well being of others while ignoring your own problems and health...A true Angel...Godess would be more appropriate. Anyhow, ya done did what ya felt ya needed ta did. I support that in every way an always will respect it.
 Now on the business of healing, physician...gosh dern it, take some time to heal thyself fer a change...not exactly quoted from the bible but you get the idea.

No apologies necessary...
Ramon

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by alleyoop on Sep 17th, 2004, 8:45pm
I really don't know what to say but I do know where to start. I apologize to everyone here starting with you Elaine.

You went out of your way to meet with me and encouraged me to post on these boards and become a part of this family. For that, I will be forever grateful. E,  you are the ONE responsible for my being here!

I believe you are the most caring and selfless individual I have ever met! Although I wasn't around to see it all happen, from what I have seen and read you have been one of the guiding influences of OUCH since it's inception.

I really liked what Roxy said about you!

on 09/17/04 at 15:30:07, Roxy wrote:
 You epitomize the spirit of OUCH.


Elaine, you said it was the thread about OUCH that made you delete your profile. For my part in that E, I feel more shame than I can convey. I wasn't even defending myself. It started with my defending someone else who really didn't need my defense in the first place. It escallated from there and all I succeeded in doing was bringing myself down to his level. There is a thin line between defending one's reputation and egomania. I feel I crossed that line. I learn by my mistakes. It won't happen again. That isn't to say I won't defend myself or someone else who is wrongly flamed, but I'll make it a priority not to cross that line!

The reason I posted this instead of simply emailing Elaine, is I feel I owe eveyone here an apology. The sheer magnitude of the empathy and benevelance of this group is truly mind boggling! It goes beyond our common suffering. It is truly an enigma. You people amaze me! When no one else understood, you did. Thank you!

I too, have wondered about all of the flaming and insults hurled in this forum on an almost daily basis. Since I wasn't around to witness what it was like on the "old boards" and to tell the truth I'm really a newbie at posting on any boards, I really don't have a reference point to draw from.

Coming from a virginal point of view as far as posting goes, I'm only guessing, but I think a large part of the problem is the forum itself. I mean, you can only convey so much with smileys when you remember to use them. Sarcasm and a dry sense of humor are often lost somewhere between original intent and the post. I've seen innocent attempts at humor missunderstood and the next thing you know the flames are flying.

How many people here can say they have never flamed, or at least been tempted? First, you read something really stupid, then you think of a neat response ... before you can say "What have I done?" the message has been posted; you are in a Flame War!

I don't have a "magic pill"; I wish I did. I feel some of us, me included, need to think twice before posting. Think, not only about how it's going to sound to the one you're posting to... but also to others, before you post. And, of course, always read what you have just typed before you hit the "post" button.

I'm sorry about the long post. I know how BORING they can be. I just had to say what was on my mind. I feel better. Thanks for reading this far and for putting up with my sometimes caustic sense of humor. Know that I have empathy and respect for everyone here and have malice toward no one, not even Jonnie! ;;D

.................................alley

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Sean_C on Sep 17th, 2004, 9:42pm
This is a sad day for everybody ya know. Elaine is Elaine as Jonny is Jonny and I am who I am. I wouldn't want it any other way. I think for Elaine to come to this is not good for anybody. How soon we forget what one has done till there gone, as my mother would say. And you know what, she was always right :'(

Somehow we have to make this work for all. We're all here for the same reason. Somewhere along the line I think we forgot this.

Elaine your in my prayers, and I would enjoy your company if you would like to come home.

PF wishes to you,

Sean.......................

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by vig on Sep 17th, 2004, 9:47pm
"You epitomize the spirit of OUCH."

Sorry but I can't find any better words either.
I'm delighted and honored to know you Elaine.

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by TxBasslady on Sep 17th, 2004, 10:37pm
Sean,

I don't know you, but I have to say....that was a very sweet and moving post.    You're right....it does seem like our reasons for being here have been forgotten.  Not too many days go by without an argument or a flame fight.


Elaine.....my dear sweet friend.    Hope you know how much I love you.   You have been a true and precious friend to me for a while now, and you always will be.  

Your post shows your passion for OUCH.   The apology...well, I don't think you owed anyone an apology.    Others owed you one....and I am pleased to see they took care of that.   (Some of them)   The others who didn't apologize.....no big deal.   We find out real quick who our friends truly are.    I didn't get involved in any of it, because I can be a real shit when I wanna be, and I didn't think it was the best thing for me to do.   Besides....you know where I stand.

You and I will always be friends......noone can take that away.   And you're right.....you don't have to post here in order to support.   You can delete your name and profile......but true friends will always prevail.

Follow your heart, E.  

Hugs and love to you, my friend.

Jean







Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by nancyc on Sep 18th, 2004, 12:30am
E, You have always been there for clusterheads...wheither it was at ch.com, headachesupportgroups.com or OUCH...YOU were there, sis....And no matter what, I know you will still be there for anyone who needs your help...that is your Spirit! May God bless you for all the years you gave us in chat (even though I had not been  there in a long time)...May He continue to lead you in working with OUCH...and know you will always have friends who love you wherever you decide to rest your head.... :Dnancyc PS and a special thanks to Mast for all she did too!

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Ree on Sep 18th, 2004, 1:14am
That was a great post Elaine....... Get better and come back to us... everyone needs a break sometimes.  I think this is just sad... We love you and want you healthy though and that is what is most important.  God bless you will be in my prayers.......

what a sad weekend for me and for my family........ ree

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by catlind on Sep 18th, 2004, 1:37am
Elaine, you don't need to apologize for anything.  What Roxy said, that's true.  What others have said as well, it's all true.  You have a spirit about you that is truly amazing.  I've seen you give of yourself, your time and your money for others.  And more often than not, you never say a word, and no one truly knows how much you do for us here.  

Thank you for being who you are, for supporting the way you do, and for fighting to see OUCH become the great org that it is.

Once my degree is done, I hope to be able to go back to working towards OUCH's goals.  I work to be like you, I hope you know that.  When I first came here, you were one of the ones who guided me through, and you have always been a special person to me.  I'm honored to say I know you :)

Cat

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Edna on Sep 18th, 2004, 1:47am
Elaine,

I love you and will forever be grateful to you. For, if not for your chat, I would not have my wonderful friend Svenn. I thank you for the time you gave us, and am only sorry that it has come to such turmoil, robbing others of finding a true cluster buddy.

Now, young lady, you told me the other day how you were cheating.....   ;)        "get back to bed" .....take care of YOU Elaine, and know I love you.

hugs,
EDNA

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Svenn on Sep 18th, 2004, 3:50am

on 09/17/04 at 22:37:00, TxBasslady wrote:
Sean,

I don't know you, but I have to say....that was a very sweet and moving post.    You're right....it does seem like our reasons for being here have been forgotten.  Not too many days go by without an argument or a flame fight.


Elaine.....my dear sweet friend.    Hope you know how much I love you.   You have been a true and precious friend to me for a while now, and you always will be.  

Your post shows your passion for OUCH.   The apology...well, I don't think you owed anyone an apology.    Others owed you one....and I am pleased to see they took care of that.   (Some of them)   The others who didn't apologize.....no big deal.   We find out real quick who our friends truly are.    I didn't get involved in any of it, because I can be a real shit when I wanna be, and I didn't think it was the best thing for me to do.   Besides....you know where I stand.

You and I will always be friends......noone can take that away.   And you're right.....you don't have to post here in order to support.   You can delete your name and profile......but true friends will always prevail.

Follow your heart, E.  

Hugs and love to you, my friend.

Jean



Jean,i take the chanse to copy you here because your reply has all the words im looking for.
hope you forgive me for that


Lady Elaine , you are one of the really few here that has a major impact on my life and im so honored that you call me your frind

Svenn

Title: Long....old
Post by rumplestiltskin on Sep 18th, 2004, 5:18am
I cannot believe that so many of you old farts still fall for Elaine's "I'm leaving" routine.

The new folks I can understand...they haven't seen this song and dance yet...but I've read the same letter with different dates so many times...well...it's just lost it's power to manipulate my emotions.

watchin the river flow
den

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Jackie on Sep 18th, 2004, 9:51am
Hmmmmmmm

I'm thinking that old ax of yours outta be about ground down to the nubbin by now.......

Emotionally manipulated, old fart, dumba**, Jacks 8)


Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Jayne on Sep 18th, 2004, 10:02am
Elaine, thank you, for all you have done and all you continue to do, even though at times it seems to be a thankless job.
I know one particular time, I was in trouble and needed people. I put an APB on the board and said I would be waiting in chat, within seconds Big Bad Jonny was there for me to tell me to stop crying. It scared me shitless and dried up my tears in nonoseconds ;)

Give your self a break E and pass that oar on to someone else. You need to concentrate on YOU right now.
But at least your parting words have got all the men on this board fantasizing about you without yer teeth in,,,,,YOU HUSSY!!! ;;D

THANK YOU E!!!!!!!

If you need to chat, whine, shout, cry,,,you know my number...but please put yer teeth in before you call me :-*

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Charlie on Sep 18th, 2004, 5:25pm
I kinda like Elaine. I also like it when she comes backs.

Charle

Title: Re: Long sorry!
Post by Marc on Sep 18th, 2004, 11:49pm
[smiley=thumbsup.gif]



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