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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Apology/Explanation to Elaine
        
(Message started by: Jeepgun on Sep 16^th, 2004, 8:00pm)

Title: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 16^th, 2004, 8:00pm

Re-posting here, so that it doesn't get lost in the thread
_______________________________________________

Okay, folks: This is the last post I'm going to make, explaining my previous posting in this thread.

Bob_P, I will thank you to keep your tomatoes to yourself, as I am going out on a limb here and baring my soul.

I've already received quite a round of abuse, courtesy of several persons on this board who felt that I was attacking Elaine. Your motives are noble and I respect that.

Ree, I've already asked for your forgiveness and made a public apology. Since you choose not to accept it, there's nothing more I can do.

First, I would like to apologize to Elaine. I admit that my comments were made out of my own hurt and feelings of upset over a number of situations that have been gradually spiraling out of control since the convention:

Number One: There was the complete mess that took place on the OUCH boards. It seems to finally be coming together now, thank God... I returned from the convention so ready to help, donate time, money, effort, sweat, and whatever personal hard work it took to help OUCH and to help my fellow cluster headache sufferers. The "first shot fired over the bow," was Elaine resigning from the Board of Directors. This was hurtful and bewildering, particularly since she was one of the founding members. I didn't (and still don't) understand, so it was very upsetting.

Number Two: The call went out on this message board as well as the OUCH board for people to "pick up and oar and pitch in." My offer to help assemble and disseminate information packets to local physicians and put together press releases were met with silence on the OUCH board, and when I attempted to contact local news and media sources, again, I was met with silence. Frustrating and hurtful... Meanwhile, the OUCH board was filled with nothing but chaos. (Please don't tell me how nice it is over there now. I've been there and seen that all of the guts and blood splatter have neatly been mopped up.)

Number Three: Just when it seemed that things were getting better, yet another blow is struck: Apparently, people were doing things in the chat room on Elaine's site that Elaine didn't approve of, and she posted and asked people to cool it. Then, she pulled the plug on the chat room. That's understandable, I guess. I have never seen any cybersex going on in the handful of times that I've visited, and didn't know that she had made previous requests for people to control themselves.

But then, right on the heels of that, deleting her profile here... Jeez... It felt like getting slugged in the stomach. And yes, I'm guilty of taking it all too much to heart, for perhaps caring too much, and for taking it entirely too personally, but it felt like she was saying, "F*** you all, I'm outta' here!" to everyone here, and this is why I responded in the way that I did.

Elaine, I am sorry if I offended and hurt you and ask your forgiveness. Truly, I offer no excuses, but hopefully, my explation and background will help you (and everyone else) to understand why I felt the way that I did, and why I still feel quite hurt and saddened over the events of the past two/three months.

So, there it is. The truth of things as I see them, and the reason behind why I responded in the way that I did. NOT because I was trying to hurt Elaine and not because I want to see her leave! Quite the opposite! I want to see OUCH succeed! I want to see people working together and cooperating! Most of all, I want to at least be able to hold out some shred of hope that this hellish nightmare of cluster headaches could someday see a cure so that NONE OF US has to ever suffer with these things again, and so that no one else will ever have to suffer with them for years, before finding some avenue of relief.

Anyway, I've made quite a mess of things, and I offer my sincere, most heartfelt apologies and ask the forgiveness of each person whom I've offended.

Thank you.

-Frank

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by KingOfPain on Sep 16^th, 2004, 8:25pm

Re-posting here, because I want to.
____________________________________________

Frank,

You have shown a fine example how to
step up, admit wrongs, & be accountable
for your actions.

Takes a lot of guts.

It also takes being a decent person
& having respect for others.

http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/Hat%20tip.gif

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Ree on Sep 16^th, 2004, 8:35pm

just eating dinner didn't say I didn't accept anything... Thanks Jeep... it takes alot to appologize... Of course I accept..........thanks... ree

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Renee on Sep 16^th, 2004, 8:38pm

Frank,

I MUST need to catch up as I just got online and read this post and have NO idea what it is about other than what I read earlier in the week about the smutt talk at the hsg chat room.

But, just to clarify, Elaine is not one of the founders of OUCH. Check the archives or ask one of the founders. It is all there to read, a nice peaceful beginning to things.

Well, off to read about this new ordeal,
Renee

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Ree on Sep 16^th, 2004, 8:40pm

She may as well have been one of the founders... ree

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jonny on Sep 16^th, 2004, 8:42pm

on 09/16/04 at 20:38:47, Renee wrote:

But, just to clarify, Elaine is not one of the founders of OUCH. Check the archives or ask one of the founders. It is all there to read, a nice peaceful beginning to things.

Im one of the founders of OUCH and Elaine was here before me, Elaine was at the non-official first OUCH convention in Drummers garage.

Where do you get your info, Renee?

...................................jonny

Edit:.....Gee, I wish Renee could link us to where Elaine is not a founder.....cause I can damn well link to where she is.

Shut up or put up, Honey!!!

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Virginia on Sep 16^th, 2004, 9:05pm

on 09/16/04 at 20:38:47, Renee wrote:

Frank,

IBut, just to clarify, Elaine is not one of the founders of OUCH. Check the archives or ask one of the founders. It is all there to read, a nice peaceful beginning to things.

Renee

Why do you need to try to stir up shit with this kind of comment? What purpose does it serve?

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by bobkip on Sep 16^th, 2004, 9:15pm

Does it matter who founded OUCH? I was there at Drummers for the first clusterhead get-together and most ended up being the original officers of our org. and all were instrumental in getting OUCH off the ground.
Kip

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by cootie on Sep 16^th, 2004, 10:09pm

Yer a good hearted man Frank.......I think he's a keeper Pam

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Sean_C on Sep 16^th, 2004, 10:26pm

That was cool Frank, hopefully she reads it and comes home.

Sean........................

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Renee on Sep 16^th, 2004, 10:28pm

This might help ya Jonny,

Posted by Linda B on March 25, 1999 at 19:33:03

Posted by Barbara D. on February 08, 1999 at 23:54:45

Posted by Johnnie Elaine Holloman on Tuesday, April 27, 1999 at 19:08:40

As for why...because Frank apparently thought Elaine was the founding member of OUCH that had recently resigned and he was quite bewildered when she resigned from OUCH this last time.

However, it was BarbD of the OUCH BoD and treasurer, that was a founder of OUCH, that recently resigned.

Not starting anything, just clarifying.

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Margi on Sep 16^th, 2004, 10:34pm

Yeah, you ARE starting something Renee and I continue to question your motivation.

For your information (because YOU weren't there), lcBob came up with the acronym and the concept for OUCH. I, too, have the memory of an elephant. Barb D was also instrumental on the board at that time - as were a lot of us. Elaine was around then, Drummer, Jack Boyd, BobP(ahlow), Hub, Paco, Kip, Todd, myself - a whole bunch of people. We were all instrumental in the development of the original OUCH. The concept was solidified at that first meeting in Drummer's garage. Elaine attended that meeting. She and I sat on that first OUCH board together. So did BarbD. So did Todd.

So, yeah - I have no problem declaring Elaine an OUCH founding member. Not the only OUCH founding member - no one said that. I do, however, have a problem with YOU correcting history of which you were not a part.

Case closed.

Classy apology, Frank - sorry to hijack your thread.

edited to add: and, um, yeah - some guy named DJ was also around at that time as well. Sorry, Deej, heat of the moment kinda thing. ::)

Ree, sorry to hijack YOUR very poignant post. It's all relative folks.

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Sean_C on Sep 16^th, 2004, 10:35pm

Renee this was an appology thread that Frank sent out for everyone to see.

I don't think he wants this thread to end up the way I see it ending up. Take it to e-mail please.

Sean......................

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Ree on Sep 16^th, 2004, 10:41pm

Through the baby monitor I can hear my young BRAVE son sing a lullabye to his 2 year old son who is having trouble sleeping tonight. My son will be returning to Iraq in a few days. In the grand scheme of things.......NONE of this matters to me right now this minute(( Im sure that will be misread))........... Good night all. again I love you Elaine... feel better.......come back. Ree

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 16^th, 2004, 10:45pm

on 09/16/04 at 22:35:23, Sean_C wrote:

You are correct, Sean. Thank you. Those who want to argue, start another thread or else take it privately, please. Thank you.

-Frank

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Sean_C on Sep 16^th, 2004, 11:11pm

on 09/16/04 at 22:41:57, Ree wrote:

Through the baby monitor I can hear my young BRAVE son sing a lullabye to his 2 year old son who is having trouble sleeping tonight. My son will be returning to Iraq in a few days.

Please let him know we are behind him 100% and that our family at home and here will keep him in our prayers.

Sean...............

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Mr. Happy on Sep 16^th, 2004, 11:22pm

on 09/16/04 at 22:45:04, Jeepgun wrote:

Those who want to argue, start another thread

Oh, Bullspizzle, Frank. It's your turn in the barrel; it's all your fault, and you deserve a True Roasting accordingly. You killed Lainey, you got Renee spouting wildly, and you pissed off Margi. Quite a days work.

It's a guy thing,
RJ

http://mushys.com/despair/arrogance.jpeg

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 16^th, 2004, 11:27pm

on 09/16/04 at 23:22:47, Mr. Happy wrote:

Well, gosh... In that case, may I take a bow? ;;D

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Tiannia on Sep 17^th, 2004, 12:02am

Well hell, here it is almost 9pm and I am just now getting home from work. after a 6am start, it was to say the least a very very long day. At 5 I read a little of the thread that this thread was a result of. Frank and Ree, you are a good souls, but alas we are all human and feelings are a part of that. You where both stating your opinions, which we are all allowed to do. Even if an emotion gets the better of us.

I actually find it very sad that the Chat board is gone, I have not checked it but that is the jist I get. If it were not for that Chat board, I would not have gotten to know a few clusterbuds better, and concider them not just friends, but brothers and sisters in this family of misfits from every walk of life. I honestly think that there is a need for that chat board, or another one like it. Granted it is not all talk about HA, but there are many times that the Chat board allows people to focus on something else rather then thier HA that is shadowing or has just left them. I never agree with Cybersex, that is rediculous and juvinile. >:( But there was always open discussions and bs and bantering back and forth, but I never saw cyber sex or anything of that nature. I would greatly hope that there is a chance to reinstate the HSG chat or some other type of chat soon.

Time to try and get caught up on evreything cause i am unable to during the day vrey often.

-Tia

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Charlie on Sep 17^th, 2004, 2:09am

You suck Frank :o

Yours truly,

MOC 8)

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Renee on Sep 17^th, 2004, 7:14am

I was not arguing but clarifying something for Frank and then answering jonny's question.

Frank,

My apologies for your thread being hijacked. I have no further need to email or pm regarding this.

One day at a time,
Renee

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 17^th, 2004, 7:51am

on 09/17/04 at 02:09:27, Charlie wrote:

You suck Frank :o

Yours truly,

MOC 8)

Shhhhh.... That was supposed to be "our little secret," Charlie! :o 8)

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by BobG on Sep 17^th, 2004, 2:52pm

Thank you Frank. You are a Gentleman.

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 17^th, 2004, 2:58pm

Thank you, Bob. I appreciate that.

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Johnnie_Elaine on Sep 17^th, 2004, 3:25pm

Its ok Jeep I am cool with everything.

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 17^th, 2004, 3:31pm

Thank you, Elaine...

Humbled and Grateful,
-Frank

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Roxy on Sep 17^th, 2004, 3:33pm

on 09/17/04 at 15:25:28, Johnnie_Elaine wrote:

Its ok Jeep I am cool with everything.

You are a much more forgiving person than me Elaine. I'm in with Jackie as being "mean as a snake". So Frank, please forgive me for this little sidetrack of your post.

Renee.....get the fuck over the Elaine bashing. It just looks small and petty, besides being rude as hell.

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jonny on Sep 17^th, 2004, 3:40pm

on 09/17/04 at 15:33:57, Roxy wrote:

Renee.....get the fuck over the Elaine bashing. It just looks small and petty, besides being rude as hell.

Plus, I will unleash the dog of WAR if it continues.....try me ;)

...................................jonny

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Roxy on Sep 17^th, 2004, 4:29pm

psssst......Frank, that "not forgiving" was not aimed at you. Your apology was just like you.....classy and sincere. Thank you.

It was aimed elsewhere........ ;;D

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Carl_D on Sep 17^th, 2004, 4:30pm

Not to hijack your thread Frank (which is a nice apology) But as far as Elaine being a founding member of OUCH, she also did alot of behind the scenes work with her fellow CH'ers. In fact, when I had no income and couldn't afford a doctors visit or meds, ELAINE was the one who started a medical fund that many people donated to that helped me out bigtime. Yes, Elaine WAS THERE in the beginning of OUCH.

Renee - get over yourself.

Peace,
Carl D

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 17^th, 2004, 4:30pm

Thank you, Roxy. When I read that, I was wondering... Thanks. :)

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jonny on Sep 17^th, 2004, 5:43pm

on 09/16/04 at 22:28:39, Renee wrote:

This might help me?

Would help if you knew how to link those in, you have been here long enough to know how to do that right?

Or do you think you can just post a date and I am suppose to mind meld into the archives?

Im waiting!

......................................jonny

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by brain_cramps on Sep 17^th, 2004, 6:09pm

on 09/17/04 at 17:43:21, Jonny wrote:

Or do you think you can just post a date and I am suppose to mind meld into the archives?

Cmon jonny! It should be just as easy for you as it is for me.

Lets see now... February 08, 1999 at 23:54:45 I believe I was at the bar with a few friends, drinking beer and playing pool. Oops - is 23:54:45 EST? If that's the case, I was OUTSIDE the bar smoking a big spleef.

March 25, 1999 at 19:33:03 I was at the bar with a few friends, drinking beer and watching hockey. (or maybe I was outside the bar smoking a big spleef).

April 27, 1999 at 19:33:03 I remember that one well. I was outside the bar smoking a big spleef.

aaaah... the good ole days! ;;D

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jonny on Sep 17^th, 2004, 6:37pm

Ahhh, the big ole spleef ;;D

...................................jonny

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Ueli on Sep 17^th, 2004, 7:48pm

on 09/17/04 at 17:43:21, Jonny wrote:

Jonny, you're wrong, it wouldn't help you. ;;D

The first two references are to
http://www.clusterheadaches.com/wwwboard/messages/8181.html and
http://www.clusterheadaches.com/wwwboard/messages/6181.html
There Linda B and Barbara D just talk about a 'convention', a get-together of clusterheads, certainly a good thing, still done today. But how Renee construes that as the beginning of OUCH is something that escapes me.
But the third reference might shed some more light on scheming of Renee: There is no post from April 27, 1999 at 19:08:40 on the MB, not by Johnnie Elaine Holloman and not by anyone else. Elaine's very first post on CH.com is from April 27, 1999, and she never put her full name on a post.

So it's quite obvious that Renee invents some 'facts' to sustain her false claims and hopes everyone takes them for true. >:(
Renee, I think I'm not the only one fed up with your BS. So why don't you collect your toys and go messing in another sandbox?

The post from lc bob http://www.clusterheadaches.com/wwwboard/messages/10616.html, where he reverse-engineered the acronym OUCH was IMHO the ignition spark for OUCH.

Kip's tale of the legendary garage-convention is at http://www.clusterheadaches.com/wwwboard/messages/18154.html.

PFNADs, Ueli [smiley=smokin.gif]

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Jonny on Sep 17^th, 2004, 11:49pm

on 09/17/04 at 19:48:12, Ueli wrote:

So it's quite obvious that Renee invents some 'facts' to sustain her false claims and hopes everyone takes them for true. >:(
Renee, I think I'm not the only one fed up with your BS. So why don't you collect your toys and go messing in another sandbox?

[smiley=smokin.gif]

Ueli,

You never cease to amaze me my brother ;;D

.....................................jonny

Edit:
Everyone read Ueli's post above!!!!

This is what we are dealing with folks, lying scumbags!!

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Edna on Sep 18^th, 2004, 1:31am

First of all, FRANK……

Quote:

And yes, I'm guilty of taking it all too much to heart, for perhaps caring too much,

NEVER, that's exactly what makes you so special.

Quote:

Does it matter who founded OUCH? I was there at Drummers for the first clusterhead get-together

BOB, you're so right. For that matter "I" was at that first garage get-together, and NOBODY can make me believe differently. Because deep down I know, that inside the hearts of those of you there, I was on your mind even though you didn't even know me yet.....ME......another fellow clusterhead, that you were so willing to give your time to help.

There, my little cents worth for all it matters. And for those that it doesn't matter to......well, I'm sorry....perhaps one day you'll understand.

Keep that head up Frank, cooties' right.......
you're a keeper

hugs my friend,
EDNA

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by catlind on Sep 18^th, 2004, 1:47am

Ueli, thank you so much for your post. I will never understand why someone would want to take actions to hurt the people that are trying to so hard to help all of us.

Perhaps some need to make others look small in order to feel big and important themselves. I will never understand why someone would create false premises, of facts or friendships, in order to try and further their own personal causes.

Elaine has always been above that level, and people's actions speak far louder than their words, in both the good and bad cases.

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by Renee on Sep 18^th, 2004, 8:07am

Quote:

I am a woman and have had cluster headaches for 18 years. They get so bad I just want to die. I have them at night and the only pace to go for help is the hospital. They treat me like I am a on drugs and want a fix. I gave up any hope six years ago. For some reason I looked this up on the web. I thought I was alone.
Johnnie Elaine Holloman <j883@mindspring.com>
Forest Park, Ga USA
Tuesday, April 27, 1999 at 19:08:40 (EDT)

Founding members could be members pulled from many dates in the beginning as appears in some of the posts. I was not rewriting history but only passing on to Frank what I had been previously told by others.

As for fabricating things...read above.

As for the rest...it's not worth a reply.

Title: Re: Apology/Explanation to Elaine
Post by john_d on Sep 18^th, 2004, 9:07am

I know I am going to get slammed for this, but....

Who gives a rat's fart who started OUCH or who was on this website before me? I certainly don't. For now, it is not substantial enough for the 'founders' to be put on any kind of pedestal. If the fighting stops maybe that will change, who knows.

Whatever, I won't be posting for awhile. Some of my favorite posters quietly made there exit from the board recently thanks to this bs. Anybody seen cootie?

See ya.