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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> When is too much too much
        
(Message started by: gore2424 on Sep 8^th, 2004, 2:47am)

Title: When is too much too much
Post by gore2424 on Sep 8^th, 2004, 2:47am

Spring ,fall since 86 in Nov. 1999 chronic 67 different combos of meds tried last chance operation in 2002 at mayo right side of face permantly numb layed off in jan 2003 unemployment til nov 2003 got SS 100% disability in dec 2003 nuero got me on meds shrink got me on meds reg dr got me on meds VA also got me on meds taking 3 drepression meds ,1 panic attack med,a pain patch as high a dose as a human can take,10mg shots of morphine starting to see things not there hiding under covers all day and night life there everything is good BUT cant go thur life like this anymore my life now is like this Linkin Park song

" Somewhere I Belong"
When this began
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find/That I'm
Not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck/Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

I want to heal
I want to feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
[Erase all the pain 'til it's gone]
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I Belong

And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere/Only to fin that it's
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the
Way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain/Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
The fault is my own

I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today

I want to heal
I want to feel like I'm
Somewhere I belong

gore2424 Terry signing off til i find
somewhere I belong

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by BobG on Sep 8^th, 2004, 3:41am

Hang in there buddy. You can make it.

You say your neuro, shrink and VA all have you on meds and it appears to be a lot of them. I take it for granted that they all know about the others and what they are prescribing, right? Just wondering if there can be interaction between all the meds that may be harmful?

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by BlueMeanie on Sep 8^th, 2004, 4:01am

Hi Terry,

I like the song, but the lyrics for the chorus is wrong. It's not your fault that you suffer. I believe BobG is on to something. Make sure each doc knows everything you're taking. I hope they get it straighten out soon.

Check your im's.
Bob

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by Dave_Emond on Sep 8^th, 2004, 4:50am

Hey Terry,
When is too much ... too much?
Never!
Trust me, I do know how you feel, been more than ready to give up many times over recently, but there is always something or someone who does or says something that puts a new perspective on things.
Sometimes hearing hang in there and keep fighting aren't what we want to hear, we are tired, very tired.
It's normal to feel this way, but not a time to sign off, this is where you belong. We can't guarantee things will get better physically, but can promise you'll find extra strength here among this group.
Although I have trouble finding days or nights where I can sit down and write ... or that's maybe all I can do at times, please feel free to write me anytime or give me a call. Many times I don't believe the answer I give above myself. Knowing people care is a major strength builder, but there are many things we have to find in ourselves and around us to put new perspectives on just why we keep going. (Taking me forever just to write this short note, but just want you to know I do understand and so will many more here.)
I'll send you my phone number if you want to talk, I'm not in the best of shape, but can listen well.
God Bless ya Terry,
Dave

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by rumplestiltskin on Sep 8^th, 2004, 5:13am

tomorrow.

Love
den

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by thomas on Sep 8^th, 2004, 8:43am

Terry, hang in there bro. [smiley=hug.gif]. See you in January. ;;D

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by alleyoop on Sep 8^th, 2004, 10:09am

Manana Terry.

Hasta manana amigo.

............................alley

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by vig on Sep 8^th, 2004, 10:09am

NEVER!
Fight one more round....

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by Woobie on Sep 8^th, 2004, 10:27am

Terry

You have an appointment in January you gotta keep... so you better hang in there.

Check your PMs ok??

Dont give up!

Tina :-*

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by cootie on Sep 8^th, 2004, 12:56pm

Just be careful somea them meds aren't counter acting with the other.....creating NEW symtoms.......then it becomes a vicious cycle to stop them. You go crazy.....and can't tell anyone why !! Be careful.....I've seen what meds can do combined.....don't fight symptoms with causes Pam

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by Lizzie2 on Sep 8^th, 2004, 1:22pm

Hey Terry,

Don't give up. Use it. That's what I do. When it gets too much for me...I take a step back and think hard about the reason why things are so messed up. I just try to look at it from as many perspectives as possible. Then I pick up my ammo and fight another fight. You can do it, too! I know it does get tiring to hear "Keep on fighting, slugger! You can do it!" But the thing is...you can do it. Lean on people here, or people in your life who you can trust, but most of all go inside yourself and take a look at what resources you have inside you to fight your battle. Building your inner strength will help you no matter what happens in your future.

PM me anytime, Terry. Don't give up though...then it's not worth it, ya know? If you gotta deal with shit, then giving up means that you let them win. Don't ever let "them" (whoever them is) win! Make it worth it by learning from it, helping others with what you've learned, or anything you can think of.

Take care,
Lizzie :)

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by Karla on Sep 8^th, 2004, 5:04pm

Hang in there Terry! I have been where you are in all ways except for the surgery. I am now eposodic or in total remission. Still waiting to see. It can happen to you also. Hold out hope for the better days. I was taking 8 different meds at one time and now I am down to 3. I was sleeping 15 hours a day for last 3 years due to meds and now I am on a med that causes insomnia. What a difference! At least I am awake enough to go to college now. In the meantime continue to do what you got to do and take it one day at a time. I will continue to pray for you.

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by Cerberus on Sep 8^th, 2004, 7:07pm

Quote:

Make sure each doc knows everything you're taking. I hope they get it straighten out soon.

Agreed.

Ramon

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by gore2424 on Sep 10^th, 2004, 1:51am

VERY FIRST I want to thank all my friends on here that posted,pm'ed,im'edand e-mailed me with your kind,helpfull,possitive words. I didnt mean to worry anyone I vented then wrote down some of my deep thoughts a little history of life and that song. But as the words in the song said I WANT TO HEAL I WANT TO FEEL I was trying to let you all know I wasnt giving up. NOW with my Dr appointment with the shrink today at 9 am even with my angel(my wife chris) there for morel support wasnt any good for me. I let everything out every thing even some things my own wife didnt know about the things going on with my life. Heard the same thing my wife Chris have already talked about and read on several web sites. Dr says stop taking these two antidepression meds and start taking this one antidepression med at night. No Dr says dont think I am on enough meds to justify even doing a detox. Dr says ok 45 minutes up make appointment in a week opps no opening til 22nd 12 days we call you in an opening. Wife and I walked out I was confused so now we have to think of something else to help me now like maybe a new Dr. Ok I am done rambling everyone please be pfdan and I will post again soon to let you all know whats next and going on. Just in case someone is having same thing going on now or in the future like this battle of mine. gore2424 Terry
P.S. all dr's know what i am taking for meds
P.S. hope to see the same plus 100 times more friends at davcon05.

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by Lizzie2 on Sep 10^th, 2004, 2:07am

Hiya Terry,

Glad to see you're still fighting. :) What I would like to know is how did you decide the doctor was trying to detox you? Did he say that? If he wants you to stop taking to antidepressants and take a new one at night, then possibly he is just switching you to a more effect antidepressant and ditching the two that don't seem to be working? If you wouldn't mind sharing, what would you be stopping and what did he want you to try?

Anyhow...you'll make it. I'm glad you have a very supportive wife. That's wonderful. Take care!

Lizzie :)

Title: Re: When is too much too much
Post by gore2424 on Sep 11^th, 2004, 3:36pm

Hi lizzie2 dr didnt say detox my wife and I had talked about the detox because of all the meds i take and the way my life has been going i sleep eat sleep eat pace dont go to anyplace hardly anymore have missed a lot of life since 1999 graduations of daughter family gatherings etc. we thought it be better maybe if i tried cutting back on some of these meds dr had me stop taking wellbutrain sr 150mg twice a day and hydroxyzine hcl 100 mg at bedtime and started to take remeron 30 mg 1/2 hour before bed time per dr orders i still take citalopram hydrobromide 60mg in am and wear a duregistic 100mcg/hr fentanyl pain patch 24/7 which i change every 72 hours i am allowed 4 10 mg morphine shots per month which my wife Chris gives me she is a cna plus i take 1/2 to 1 of 0.5 clonazepam for panic attacks i have very hard time in crowded places so before i even think of going to walmart i take a whole one then i also use an inhalher and take a med along with potasium pills because my legs and ankles and feet swell and a med for acid reflux the only thing dr said i would need a controlled detox if i needed to get off pain patch asap but if wasnt for the patch i really wouldnt be here i think i still know i have cluster cause right eye and nose always leaks i stay at a 3-4 24/7 which for over a year i have become used to and can funtion ok also hope i have answered your ?'s pfdan at all gore2424 Terry