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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004 Posts >> Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page 3)
        
(Message started by: Donna_D. on Aug 31st, 2004, 12:52am)
Title: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page 3)
Post by Donna_D. on Aug 31st, 2004, 12:52am
As most of you know I posted here earlier this year about leaving my physically violent boyfriend (father of my kids) and you also know he has been in jail since then....first here in Texas where he bonded out and most recently in Florida for assaulting his father.

Well, unbenownst to me until tonight the day has come that I have feared the most.


He is out of Jail.



And I am scared.



He was released from jail last Thursday.  I have taken all the necessary legal steps and obtained a two year protective order, notified the local police and sherriffs departments, the apartment complex security and management, locked all my doors and windows and dropped down on my knees and begged God to keep me and my kids safe.  

When I left this man (and I use that term loosely) you all gave me great strength and for that I am truly grateful...the kids and I have started a new life.  I am proud of what I have been able to accomplish and am willing to fight to keep it.  

I now ask to draw off of that strength once again so that I can make it through this difficult time.  Just knowing that you are all there and pulling for me makes all the difference in the world.

His last known whereabouts was near Pensacola, Florida on Saturday afternoon and according to his family he was headed back to Texas, drunk and spouting scripture along with angry words, and filled with hate and rage.  

I hope he never makes it back here.  I hope he never has the opportunity to hurt me or my kids ever again.  Right now, all I can do is hope....

Your prayers are needed and deeply appreciated.

Thank you my family,


DD
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Mastifflvr28 on Aug 31st, 2004, 12:58am
Vibes going up to you Donna,
Stay safe sweety,
Mast
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Charlie on Aug 31st, 2004, 1:47am
Get out of your house now until you have some idea where he settles. Wish I had something different to tell you.

Keep us posted and you know we're with you.

Charlie
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Mac on Aug 31st, 2004, 2:47am
Is there anyplace you can go immediately? I have first hand experience with his  type of mentality(ex brother in law). The worst is when they are spouting sciptures from the bible. This kind a shit pisses me off. No protection for the innocents all the rights for the perpetrators. Wish I could give you some advice that would make the fear go away :(  >:(  >:(
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Aug 31st, 2004, 2:53am
I am with them.  Get out of the house and go to a friend's house or somewhere safe until you know his whereabouts.  I hate to hear these kinds of things.  Stay safe.  I am definitely sending you all of the strength that I can muster.  Please keep us updated!!!

~Kim
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Peppermint on Aug 31st, 2004, 2:58am
K Donna, you better not be reading this right now.. b/c you're supposed to be headed to bed..

Try to get your strength up for tomorrow.  That guy sis a walking pit of self-loathing and you have got to get a move on, Charlie is right.

Get out of dodge, by family or shelter.  Then you can decide what your next steps are.   I know this isn't easy, especially after getting yourself settled again.  It sure isn't fair , that bastard... >:(

I love you, you know what you have to do.  Keep your bat by the bed... etc..

Talk to you in the morning.

LOVE YOU- we got your back here D.   You know I do.
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Svenn on Aug 31st, 2004, 3:32am

on 08/31/04 at 01:47:10, Charlie wrote:
Get out of your house now until you have some idea where he settles. Wish I had something different to tell you.

Keep us posted and you know we're with you.

Charlie





Lissen to Charlie here Donna.Its a smart move


Svenn&Bente
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by alleyoop on Aug 31st, 2004, 4:41am
Charlie's right! Get out now! You can pick the pieces up later. Better that than not being around to pick them up.

..................................alley
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by athos on Aug 31st, 2004, 5:16am
echoing everything here. You know where I am and my number if you need it..... , get out of town, Rely on God and Smith & Wesson.
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Massimo on Aug 31st, 2004, 6:06am
Donna, I understand your anger and sadness. It makes me very sad. What a bastard. We are not all like that man, but I certainly know there are so many that are, that the generalization is too easy. It's just not fair. I know a person that maybe can help you in some way. She is Anna, Zazi’s mum. She works every day with cases like yours, rape ect, she can give you good advice. PLS contact her. Stay strong, Massimo
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by IndianaJohn on Aug 31st, 2004, 6:49am
Vibes and loads of prayers for you and your family.

You've got lots of good advice here.

Stay safe and check in often, we will be worrying about you.

John
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Jeepgun on Aug 31st, 2004, 7:09am
Ditto. Make up your mind that NOTHING is going to hurt you or your children, and get a shotgun. For now, it's best that you simply leave and get somewhere safe, where there are other people who will protect you and your children.
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by purpleydog on Aug 31st, 2004, 7:23am
Donna, you know how to get a hold of me if you need to.  Stay strong.

PD
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Rock_Lobster on Aug 31st, 2004, 7:35am
Yep.  Get armed.  At least get yourself the police-quality big-shooters of pepper spray.

**passes along the vibes to get yourself a working avatar**
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Redd715 on Aug 31st, 2004, 8:00am
DD you know that I've been in these shoes myself.  We've talked.  Now please, first thing is register with a shelter, and get a safety plan together with a councelor there.  He may show up, he may not, you've done the right thing to have all local authorities informed.

If you need to talk to me, you can get my work number from Vig or Racer__NC.  You aren't alone Hun!!!  Call me if you need me.
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Giovanni on Aug 31st, 2004, 8:52am
Hey Donna,

Is he on any type of community supervised probation in Texas?  His last stay in jail (Texas) might have included a court ordered supervised probation when he got out of jail.  Also, with another conviction in Pensacola could have made him violate a good behavior provisions with the Texas authorities. The clerk of the court in your area should be able to tell you.  If so, contact your probation unit and they can help protect you.  I had many situations like this while working in community based probation and I did do a good job.

Also, there are agencies who deal with abuse situations--contact these agencies and obtain their recommendations on what you should do.  It sounds like to me that this type of individual will come back and cause problems.  Please take care of yourself.

John
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by lionsound on Aug 31st, 2004, 9:03am
Donna,

remember that HE is a spinless coward.

You are brave and amazing.

(I've known the same fear, I'm on my knees with you)
Vibes and prayers for you and your children.

-lionsound
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Peppermint on Aug 31st, 2004, 9:29am

on 08/31/04 at 08:52:54, Giovanni wrote:
Hey Donna,

Is he on any type of community supervised probation in Texas?  His last stay in jail (Texas) might have included a court ordered supervised probation when he got out of jail.  Also, with another conviction in Pensacola could have made him violate a good behavior provisions with the Texas authorities. John


Gio.. what does this mean?  Does it mean he cannot leave Pensacola because of the probation?  He was hiding out from the police the last time he was in Texas, and I would venture to guess he was not to leave the state after he got caught.  Then he gets busted, in Florida.  

I don't think whack-a-doo is too worried about violating any laws.  When you're paranoid about "the people under the stairs" and violent like that, I think anything goes for him.

What can the authorities do if anything, besides telling her to call if he so much as knocks on the door?  This guy's not gonna knock, I can tell you that much already...he's done it before... .and that's what the authorities have said.  

I hope there's more that can be done Gio, a single woman with children in this situation is extremely vulnerable.  
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Giovanni on Aug 31st, 2004, 9:41am
If he were placed on supervised probation in Pensacola, his supervision would be transferred to Texas for supervision.  He would have first met with the probation office in Florida and then transferred to Texas. The courts would know if this was the case.

Also, a certified copy of his conviction in Florida could be presented to the Texas authorities if any good behavior provisions were violated.  A capias would be issued for his arrest (if violation occurred) by the Texas authorities.

Donna, you need someone in the domestic violence department of your police department to help you on this thing.  

John
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Bec on Aug 31st, 2004, 9:43am
((((( DD ))))


I am so sorry to hear this, you know we have your back. Please be safe and don't take any chances.

Love,
Bec
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by manana on Aug 31st, 2004, 9:43am
Donna, I wish you well & have read the good advise given here. He sounds like the type that won't be "out" for long. I hope the next time he goes back to the pen he gets what he deserves.

T
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Little Deb on Aug 31st, 2004, 9:52am
Donna,
Its been said already, but in case it didn't sink in...GET OUT NOW!

I have seen this situation many times in my line of work.
Forget a bat, or pepper spray.  If you have a gun, make sure you know how to use it properly.  Take lessons.  It has to be second nature.

Take the kids and go somewhere safe.  And check in with friends every move you make so everyone knows where you and the kids are every hour of the day.

Always prepare for the worst and trust in God.

We will all help any way we can.  Prayers and vibes going out.

Be safe...................Little Deb
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Melissa on Aug 31st, 2004, 9:57am
Donna,

My door is always open.


mel
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by pubgirl on Aug 31st, 2004, 10:02am
Sending keep safe prayers Donna.

I was involved in a situation like this with a friend of mine once. If you really can't leave and go somewhere safe, just make sure there is ALWAYS someone else with you who can raise the alarm if you are prevented from doing it.
I stayed with my friend for a couple of weeks so that she wasn't always the one who had to be alert, so she could actually get some sleep knowing I was there listening, and so that I could ring the Police if necessary (it wasn't needed fortunately as all he did was ring her up and throw abuse)

Wendy
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Jonny on Aug 31st, 2004, 10:03am
This fuck needs the boots!!!

....................................jonny
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by cootie on Aug 31st, 2004, 10:11am
I think he needs a bullet between the eyes.....what other good is he than target practice ? People like that get out of jail....get drunk.....get angry.....and......do it all over again and want to get 'even' !!! Buy a gun........not familiar with Texas hand gun laws tho. Don't mess with Texas Pam
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Peppermint on Aug 31st, 2004, 10:11am
Exactly Wendy.

Thanks for that info Gio, I'm going to call her in a minute.

Pep
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by thomas on Aug 31st, 2004, 10:14am
Hang in there kiddo.  
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Carl_D on Aug 31st, 2004, 11:24am
I vote for a Smith & Wesson, or a 44. Magnum, or a shotgun between the eyes. Having a past such as his, there would be no question whether or not it was self-defense - especially when you have an order of protection against him.

Yeah Jonny - The Boots! But not up his ass. Across the neck until it is flat as a pancake!!!

Abusive people need to be locked away in a facility where they can abuse each other.

Peace, and hope you're safe right now Donna,
Carl
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Karla on Aug 31st, 2004, 11:35am
I will be praying and praying some more that you and your children will be safe and all right. I will  have my church pray for you also.
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Hirvimaki on Aug 31st, 2004, 12:09pm
Darling,

I'd tell you it goes without saying, but really it is better said, er, written.

You know that both my wife and I are here for ya if you need anything. I am just a phone call, an email or an IM away, so never hesitate to reach out.

We're pulling for ya, girl. Be strong and remember what we have talked about in the past.

Hirvimaki
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Leesa on Aug 31st, 2004, 1:09pm
Donna, ask you shall recieve gal. Got the prayers and vibes on the way in a semi full of 55 gallon drums for ya!! Im here if you need me DD. The door is open here as well for ya.
Vibes and love, Leesa


PS: Smith and Wesson are lookin REAL good right now!! HEHEHEHE
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Cathi04 on Aug 31st, 2004, 1:35pm
Donna, you did the hard part, luv.. you know that..and look how well you have done!
I am with everyone else, here, if you ned to go into hiding for a bit, PLEASE do! There are shelters for you, and people to help you out!
At the VERY least, check all doors and windows, dont allow the kids to open a door, under ANY  circumstances, and call the police to alret them of the potential..at least it'll be on their logbook...
PUHLEEEZZZZ!!!
Aside from that, you know you have my utmost support, and if you need anything at all, you have my number...
I just hate that he can still terrorize you like this!
Vibes, and strength luv!
Cathi :-*
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Mark C on Aug 31st, 2004, 1:52pm
>:(
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by broomhilda on Aug 31st, 2004, 2:38pm
Damm Donna, I am so sorry to hear this, everyone has given such great advice, in your heart you know what to do, stay strong and you have all that I  have coming your way...

(((((((Donna))))))))))))
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Gator on Aug 31st, 2004, 2:59pm
The first chance I have had to check the boards in three days and I find this.  Donna, I am sorry you are having to suffer this new wrinkle.  I'm thinking I would listen to alot of the advice here and be a couple steps ahead.  You've done most of the prep work, now find a safe haven until the storm blows over.  From the way you and others describe him, it won't be long until he is back behind bars.  Check your pm's, babe.


Mike
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by bobkip on Aug 31st, 2004, 3:03pm
DD
Good advice from all of the family. If you can't get out, put your faith in God but your trust in Smith & Wesson. If you don't like S&W, Colt makes fine products. And resolve to use it if the drunken SOB shows up. Don't even consider using a gun to scade him off. USE IT!
If you need aa place to crash that is isolated and hard to find, our door is always open. IM me if interested.
Kip
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by pubgirl on Aug 31st, 2004, 3:07pm
Hey Donna

Just a thought, he wouldn't find you in England!
Spare beds aplenty here (bit extreme maybe)

Wendy
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by AndreaD on Aug 31st, 2004, 3:53pm
Hi Donna, I am very sorry that you have to deal with that experience. If I can help... Anna (Zaira’s mum) told me something similar. About a case she worked 2 or 3 years ago. A woman has been raped and beated by her husband. A violent man. He beated her/their children too. A very difficult case. Anna changed her identity and this woman lived protected by policeman for a period of time (till her ex husband went again to prison) in a little village far away from where she lived with her husband. I hope this make sense. I have trouble to make words say what my heart say. Good luck, be careful and I hope you’re safe now.

Andrea
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Magman on Aug 31st, 2004, 4:21pm
Donna, as hard as it may be to use force and put an 'end' to it, Do it!

With all of the documentation filed and authorites notified, justification is certainly there.

Be armed, be ready, and pull the damn trigger if it comes to that.

Peace,
-dan
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by vig on Aug 31st, 2004, 4:34pm
sometimes the best way to counter a terror is to make him afraid of you.
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by BlueMeanie on Aug 31st, 2004, 5:47pm
That's a real bummer Donna.
I agree with everyone else here. Find somewhere to stay for awhile. If the guy is in any violation hopefully the cops will at least partol the area and watch for him.
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Cerberus on Aug 31st, 2004, 5:56pm
Targeting...

Ramon
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Longhaired Redneck on Aug 31st, 2004, 7:26pm

I agree with Jonny, I have more boots! You have lots of good advice. Here if you need anything. Check your pm's.

Jimbo
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Sean_C on Aug 31st, 2004, 7:34pm
D call his parole officer and keep tabs on him that way. Hopefully they gave him the ankle bracelet and he has restrictions. If all else fails come to Boston, he'd love us  ;;D

Work is plentiful and we can find you cheap rent if your interested.

Sean...............
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Woobie on Aug 31st, 2004, 7:35pm
Oh Donna!!  I'm sorry![smiley=nono.gif]

Don't know what to say - so........


[smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif]


tina :-*
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Annette_Emond on Aug 31st, 2004, 8:16pm
Donna, above all else, be careful!  
Give your kids an extra hard hug tonight, and find a safe place for them to be with you.  You know in your heart it is the only thing to do.  I will include you in my prayers.  Be safe.  
Annette
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by stevegeebe on Aug 31st, 2004, 8:31pm
Make plans and be ready.  

Try to live as normal a life as possible.

Reach out at the first inclination.

Steve G
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Aug 31st, 2004, 8:40pm
Donna - worry about getting you and your kids in a safe place.  All the rest is stuff that will take care of itself once you're out of harm's way.

Wanna come to Canada?  I have a spare room here!

Hugs to you

Carol.
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by ClusterChuck on Aug 31st, 2004, 10:59pm
I DON'T believe in guns, when younguns are around!!  PLEASE make sure they are safe from them!

Now, saying I don't believe in guns around, in this case, I will make an exception.  BUT, don't just show and threaten, USE IT!  Don't give him a chance to get to you first.  Quickly pull it out, point it at him, and PULL THE DAMN TRIGGER!

And if you need to, pack up those rug rats, and get your sleezy ass up here to my house.  (Then I can BITE YOU, in person!! HEEHEE!)

But I am serious.  Not a lot of room here, but there is ALWAYS room when needed.

Chuck
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by juvy on Sep 1st, 2004, 4:58am
Hey Donna,

Check your pms.  Hang in there girl and keep us updated as much as possible.  If need be I'll send over a few of my brothers.  They're big and can be meaner than spit when defending one of their own.  Since you're  my family, you're theirs.

Love and Vibes,
April
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by alleyoop on Sep 2nd, 2004, 6:06am
Has anyone heard from Donna? I understand she has to be careful- even about posting. Just worried!

................................alley :-/
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Donna_D. on Sep 2nd, 2004, 11:21am
I just wanted to check in and let you all know that I am doing OK.

Thank you to all of you who have posted here and sent PM's.  I have not had the time as of yet to respond to all of your kind words and offers of help, but I will do so as soon as possible.

Things have been a whirlwind.  I am, of course, working on my "battle plan"  getting things ready to leave at a moments notice, making phone calls, notfying the "proper authorities" and trying not to have a nervous breakdown everytime I set foot outside my door.  I am looking at places where the kids and I can move to and be safe.  A good friend of mine sent me some super duper strong pepper spray so I have some form of defense if the ex tries anything (thank you Jimbo/Longhair Redneck) and that makes me feel more secure in my immediate surroundings.  I AM going to make it through this.

My nerves are shot but my will is strong.  I can never find the words to express to all of you how MUCH your support helps me.  When I am feeling down or despondant about this situation, I log in and read and reread your words.  They give me strength and remind me just exactly how wonderful you all truly are.

Thank you, I will keep you all updated.  I am not going to be posting much this weekend.  I am getting out of town so I can get some rest.  I have been having some monstrous nightmares and I think if I get out of town I might be able to get some sleep.  

I love you all so very, very much!

DD
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength once again...
Post by Peppermint on Sep 2nd, 2004, 11:29am
[smiley=hug.gif]Boy D.  

Glad Looney-tunes hasn't popped up so far.  Do what you have to do, and for god's sakes... DON'T forget those offers here you have for help.  You got mine.  

I think getting away until you can 'get away' is the right thing. You need to recuperate, etc.  

Please, if you get a chance, ring me before you go... I don't want you to get beefed at at work.  

LOVE YOU.
Patty

Damn bastard... [smiley=mad.gif]
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by Jeepgun on Sep 2nd, 2004, 12:05pm
Excellent, Donna. Glad to hear you have some means of self-protection, and that you're getting out of there for a while so you can get your head together and get some rest.

My best to you,
-Frank
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by Lizzie2 on Sep 2nd, 2004, 12:57pm
You know I've always got your back big sis!!!  Let me know if there is any way I can help.  My roommate's dad is a state trooper, my dad's best friend is a retired state trooper, and my dad's other best friend is a lawyer.  :)  We can do some damage!!

Luv you!!!
Lil Sis :)
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by Charlie on Sep 2nd, 2004, 2:18pm
You sound like you have the right idea. Women and children seem to be on the short end too often.

Take my advice and don't rely on firearms. As attractive as that may sound to some, it's harder than hell to shoot somebody and damn near impossible to do it "well." It's never like the movies and the wrong people tend to suffer. Guns are way down the list in this case as an effective solution.

Keep us posted and I know you'll do the right thing. You're no dummy.  

Charlie
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by aprilbee on Sep 2nd, 2004, 2:30pm
Sending you lots of love and prayers...stay safe and keep us updated...get some rest!!   :-*
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by thomas on Sep 2nd, 2004, 2:34pm
Still praying for you girl.
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by alleyoop on Sep 2nd, 2004, 5:50pm

on 09/02/04 at 14:18:09, Charlie wrote:
You sound like you have the right idea. Women and children seem to be on the short end too often.

Take my advice and don't rely on firearms. As attractive as that may sound to some, it's harder than hell to shoot somebody and damn near impossible to do it "well." It's never like the movies and the wrong people tend to suffer. Guns are way down the list in this case as an effective solution.

Keep us posted and I know you'll do the right thing. You're no dummy.  

Charlie


Although I think just getting out would be the BEST DEFENSE, if you feel that you can't or don't want to leave, IMO you'll need more than pepper spray. A 12 guage is hard to miss with and certainly has stopping power!

My prayers are with you Donna,

.......................................alley
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Sep 2nd, 2004, 5:55pm
Thinking about you and your kids and hoping you're doing okay.  

Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by Jackie on Sep 2nd, 2004, 8:17pm
Good Donna....sounds like you have a plan.
Don't let your guard down for a minute, Sweetie.
I know you'll take good care of yourself and those precious little ones.
Be safe......

Jacks 8)
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by Leesa on Sep 2nd, 2004, 9:24pm
DD glad to hear your gettin your plans in order. Thats a grand thing hun. Just know we are here if you need us and my door is open gal.
Prayer wagon on the way, Leesa
Title: Re: Family...I need your strength (UPDATE on Page
Post by Kevin_M on Sep 2nd, 2004, 9:59pm
Glad you're being cautious Donna.  He sounds like he may find his way back to jail real soon on his own.  Good to be prepared though.  I hope this torment doesn't last long but you keep your wits about you very well.     [smiley=hug.gif]


Kevin M


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